Contest entry for Spanking the Monkey! For additional contest entries, please visit: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~spankthemonkey4u

Title: Angel

Name: Beautiful Figment

Pairing: Jasper and Edward

Rating: M

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns The Twilight Saga, its characters and everything else. I merely own the laptop on which I wrote this. Thanks to Beate73 for betaing.

My closet is tiny. It probably wouldn't feel so much that way if I didn't cram it full of crap along with my clothes. I have my lacrosse equipment in there, old trophies from middle and high school, and God knows what else. I should probably take some kind of inventory and shed some excess closet weight that I don't need, but I can't be bothered to do it.

I'm getting off track here.

What I was getting at is that, while my dorm room closet may be tiny, it's not nearly as tiny as the closet I live in. And no, I'm not talking about the dorm room itself. I actually have plenty of room.

I'm gay.

I also have an insufferable crush on my roommate and close friend, Edward.

He's a bookish type of guy. I won't say that he is a nerd, per sé, but he dances a fine line. He only wears glasses to read, which is often, but he isn't the type who spends endless hours studying for classes and stressing over having a perfect 4.0 GPA.

That's me, but we're not talking about me right now, are we?

Edward has messy, reddish-brown hair that his hands like to fuck with constantly. When he concentrates on something, he tugs on the strands, runs his fingers through them, and when he's concentrating really hard, he makes tights fists in them.

His poor hair.

I want to punish it in the same way. I'd love to pull on his hair as I tug his head back while I kiss him and tongue the inside of his mouth.

The jury is still out—for me anyway… far be it from me to ask around—on his sexual orientation. Nobody, neither guy nor girl, comes with him to our dorm room. I never see anyone clutching his arm, or holding his hand, or whispering things in his ear when he thinks nobody is paying attention. Trust me, if someone is paying attention, it would definitely be me and I would definitely know one way or the other.

Of course, the same thing about orientation can be said for me since I'm currently unattached. I used to date this tiny little wisp of a girl in high school, but I had already decided that the relationship wasn't going anywhere since I had my sights set on the not-quite-fairer of the sexes. I was more attracted to her big hulk of a brother than I was to her, but I simply told her that it just wasn't working out.

Nobody knows my secret.

And certainly, nobody knows what I do when I think of Edward.

Speaking of which, I'm thinking about him right now… so…

Leaning back on my bed, I slip my hand beneath my shirt and brush my fingertips over one of my nipples, feeling it harden beneath my touch. I imagine it's his hand there and it causes my back to arch. To have his hands—or could it actually happen?—his mouth on me would send me right over the edge before either one of us knew what was happening.

I start rubbing the bulge that forms in my jeans, pressing the heel of my hand on the head as I smooth my entire hand over the denim. I imagine him doing this very thing and I start to wonder what kind of lover he would be. Would be the awkward fumbling type, the shy, questioning type, or the passionate and aggressive type?

I just want him to be the hands-and-mouth-on-me type.

He's a blast to hang out with and play video games with. I love to watch him concentrate on his moves 'cause his tongue sticks out the tiniest bit. I want to suck on that tongue. Badly.

I promise I'm thinking more about his tongue than how good he is at video games.

I promise.

I start vigorously rubbing myself through my jeans as I pinch my nipple between my fingers, my eyelids fluttering closed as I picture Edward hovering over me, whispering huskily in my ear.

I can hear people milling about in the hallway and it only serves as a distraction, so I stop what I'm doing to grab my iPod and after turning up the volume and placing the ear buds in my ears, I resume my previous task of self pleasuring, only this time with my eyes closed. The MP3 player shuffles to Massive Attack's Angel and I decide that my jeans are totally in the way of this game. I quickly undo my fly and find my hips rolling to the slow, sensual beat of the music as the bass pumps in my ear. Giving up on all pretense of drawing this thing out, I start to stroke myself to the beat, alternating the grip of my hand on every other stroke, twisting my wrist so it will slide down my dick in the opposite direction.

I imagine Edward's mouth on my neck, nibbling, his tongue sliding across the skin and I imagine that it's him jacking my dick. Hearing the pulsing repeated "love you…" in the song makes me groan and I start to pump myself in earnest. My mind convinces me it's Edward murmuring those words in my ear.

I'm not about to get all sappy here and say that I'm in love with the guy, but it would be so sexy to hear him say that as he stroked me.

This is my fantasy here, so I'm not about to make any excuses for it, damn it.

My fantasy Edward sits up and peels off his shirt, exposing his lightly muscled torso to me. He's really lean and not all that defined; he's rather twinkish really, but I like that. In my mind, I run my hands down his body, brushing my fingers over his nipples and sliding down his ribs to settle on his hips as he begins to roll them into me. I can see he's hard in his jeans and I let go of one of his hips to rub his dick through the denim, pressing hard enough so he can feel it, but not too hard to make it uncomfortable.

Before I know it, the song is ending, but my Edward gasps in my lap and I snicker. I get confused when Edward apologizes so I say, out loud, "For what?"

"Um… for interrupting?"

I open my eyes and I'm mortified to see Edward standing next to his desk right inside the doorway. I never heard him enter and I never heard him shut the door… and I never had the foresight to cover myself up even after realizing that I just got caught masturbating by the object of my fantasies.

"Oh, Jesus."

Okay… so I'm covering up now, and I have the horrific feeling that I'm about to throw up from embarrassment as I hastily try to pull my boxers back up over my junk.

He's turned away, pretending to look for something on his desk and he apologizes again.

"I'm the one who's sorry, Ed… Christ, I can't imagine if I…" My words drift off because I'm a liar. I most certainly could imagine what I'd be thinking if I walked in on Edward jerking off, and in my mind, I would be crossing the room in less than three strides to jump on his bed and take over for him.

True fucking facts right there.

His face is red, and I imagine mine's worse, but it's so fucking cute on him. I can barely restrain myself from going to him and kissing him stupid.

"So," he says with a smile, avoiding eye contact, "do I know her?"

I'm in the middle of buckling my jeans so I'm not sure that I heard him correctly, and I respond with an eloquent, "Huh?"

"The girl… the one you were jerking off to. Was she a celebrity, or someone you actually know?"

"Well that's rude," I say with a snort. I am a little offended by the question.

"I'm sorry… just trying to make conversation, I didn't mean to offend you by wanting to know—"

"It's not that you asked, it's that you assumed I was thinking about a girl."

The fact that I was offended totally removed my filter, and before I even realized what I have just said, my brain is frantically trying to put the filter back in place, screaming, "What the fuck did you throw that away for?"

Edward has this "oh shit" look on his face now and my brain is throwing bits of paper in the air containing all the back peddling comments I can throw at him to take back that statement, but I ignore them all and keep my mouth shut.

Well, I don't exactly keep it shut.

"I'm gay."

He swallows hard and I'm waiting for him to either storm out the door or tell me to get the fuck out of his straight, I-only-wanna-room-with-dudes-who-fuck-girls dorm.


"Wow, what?" I'm borderline aggravated now.

"You just made that look so easy," he says, looking like a kicked puppy.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Coming out to someone. To just say the words: I'm gay."

"Well, it's easy for the mouth to do what my brain tells it to, but believe me when I say that that was the first time I said those two words aloud to anyone, and it was definitely hard."

"I'm gay."

"Yes, those two words."

"Holy shit, that was actually easy," he says with a grin and a half laugh.

"Um, no, it wasn't actually." How could he think it was easy? Was I talking to a fire hydrant?

"No, no, no… I'm gay." He puts both of his hands on his chest and his smile gets even bigger.

"Are you fucking with me, asshole?" I just came out to this guy, my roommate and friend whom I've been lusting over for fucking months, and he's gonna make fun of me now?

"No! Absolutely not!" he says, waving his hands in front of him and looking the very picture of sincerity. "I've wanted to say those words to someone for years. I've just been too scared to do it."

Edward is gay?

I run my fingers through my hair, pushing it out of my face. I can't believe this. This is too fucking good to be true.

I say the words almost to myself. "It felt good to say it."

His words are just as private. "It sure did."

Slapping my hands down on my thighs, I stand up. "Well, now that this isn't some kind of awkward situation or anything…" I laugh and look at my shoes.

"So are you gonna answer my question?"

Question? What question?

I raise my eyebrow at him.

"I'll have to rephrase it slightly, but do you know… him?"

He's so fucking cute trying not to make this any more awkward than it already is, trying to be all nonchalant about it and shit and I want to pinch his fucking cheeks and kiss his forehead.

"Yeah, you know him," I say with a smile, my face heating up.

"Are you gonna spill?"

Looking into his eyes, I bite my lip. I know he must realize who it is I fantasize about when his Adam's apple bobs with the force of his swallowing. His throat's dry click is audible with the effort and his cheeks stain a beautiful shade of pink. I watch as his hands go to his hair… his poor hair, and I can't help myself.

I kiss him.

Just a quick peck on his soft lips and I back off to judge his reaction. His eyes are closed and he's breathing hard through his nose. Reaching out, I touch his face and his body shivers as he whimpers.

"Edward," I whisper.

His eyes open and his pupils are fully dilated, taking in every bit of light the room has to offer.

"Do it again. Please."

I can barely hear his words, but that doesn't stop me from doing what he asks. I lean in and kiss him again. This time, it's my hands in his poor hair, gently tugging as my lips slide against his. His mouth opens slightly and I tilt my head to kiss him a bit harder.

"Yeah," he moans into my mouth and before I even realize what I'm doing, I push him against the wall. "Oh God, yeah…" he moans again.

My hands leave his hair and slide down to cup his neck. I feel the frantic beat of his pulse beneath his fingers and know that mine must feel the same. His hands aren't on me at all, and I wonder just how nervous he is right now.

"Touch me… please…" I beg.

His hands go to my hips and they pull me closer to him. Pressing himself against me, I can tell he's just as hard as I am and I groan against his mouth. His fingers dig into my hips as if he's trying to claw his way through my skin and I thrust myself against him. I feel his knees give and my hands quickly make their way down to his waist to give him some support.

"Are you okay?" I ask, pulling back.

"Yeah… got dizzy for a second there." His smile is so sweet, and I lean in to kiss the corner of his mouth.

My fingers play with the hem of his t-shirt and he raises his hands above his head. I grin as I slowly pull his shirt off him, revealing that delicious, lean body to me. Tossing the shirt behind me, I don't care where it lands as I run my fingers down his chest, pressing my forehead against his.

"Are you… gonna take yours off, too?" he asks, swallowing hard.

"Do you want me to?" I ask.

"I want to see you." His words are strained and I find the pace of my breathing increase as I struggle trying to release the buttons on my shirt. My breath hitches when I feel his fingers deftly slip each button through its hole. With each released button, he kisses my newly exposed skin and I feel like I'm burning from the inside out. He works closer and closer to my belt and I actually hold my breath, so turned on by his head's proximity to my aching hard-on.

"I'm not about to ask you to, but God damn your position looks so fucking hot right now."

My brain is chastising me for throwing away its filter again. I can't be bothered to apologize for it, especially with the way Edward's looking up at me with those innocent green eyes, his cheeks rosy and his lush lips parted.

"I wouldn't know what to do…" he says sweetly.

"Come here."

He stands back up and his lips are immediately on mine as he slides my shirt off my body and lets it drop to the floor. I push him back up against the wall again, grinding myself against him and he pushes right back against me. It feels so fucking good and I kiss him harder, my tongue slipping past his lips to taste his mouth and I just want to melt into him. His skin is soft and hard at the same time and I'm trying to press as much of myself against him as possible.

When his hands go to my belt I freeze. If he touches my cock right now, I just might explode immediately. He doesn't notice my hesitation but continues to open my belt, followed by the fly, and I gasp when I feel his fingers brush against my cock through my boxers. My hips reflexively buck into his touch and he looks up at me, pursing his pretty lips.

"Edward, if you touch me right now, I'm gonna come."

He raises an eyebrow, almost in a challenging manner and for a moment I think he's gonna reach in my boxers anyway. When he doesn't, I reach for his belt and undo the clasp as his eyes squeeze shut and his lips purse even more in an adorable brain freeze expression… if brain freeze could be considered adorable, that is. He could make a headache look adorable though—I've seen him do it, but since he didn't just chug down a cherry Slushee, I'm pretty confident that the look on his face is out of some kind of concentration.

As I open his fly, I brush my knuckles against his belly and I smile as his stomach muscles contract at the contact. I tentatively reach into his boxers and tickle my fingertips against his erection and I let out a deep sigh.

"You're so hard," I whisper.

"You always make me that way." His throat sounds incredibly tight as he speaks the words and I kiss him again, taking his breath inside me.

When I wrap my fingers around his cock, he makes this small keening sound inside my mouth and grasps my shoulders tight. I give him a few pumps before he forces me to stop.

"You and I are in the same predicament," he says, pulling away the smallest bit.

I smile and dip my head down to kiss his shoulder, mouthing my way across to his neck and he nuzzles against me.

"Jasper… please. I don't want it to be over already."

I remove my hand from his boxers and he heaves a great sigh before attacking my mouth, his hands roaming over every bit of my skin that he can touch. I reach into the back of his jeans, and push both his pants and boxers off his ass, squeezing his perfectly full cheeks as I do so.

"Oh, fuck…" his words are muffled against my mouth, but he doesn't stop me. I squeeze his cheeks a little harder, pulling him closer to me and he pushes off the wall, walking us backward toward our beds. We reach mine and he presses against me, trying to subtly push me back onto the bed.

I pull away from him to stretch out on my back on the bed and he wastes no time climbing on top of me, awkwardly trying to position himself with his pants on their way toward his knees.

"Take them off," I say.

He nods, climbs off of me and quickly shucks off his jeans and boxers, as I get up to do the same thing. I look up as I pull my jeans off my feet to see him watching me and stroking himself.

"That's so hot," I whisper.

His cheeks tinge a deeper pink and I smile as I discard my pants and boxers. He doesn't stop stroking himself as I stand upright and step closer to kiss him. Our kiss quickly grows heated and I start stroking myself as well. Pulling him tight against me, I feel our knuckles brush against each others. Edward's free hand drifts down my back and skims over my ass before sliding back up to grip at my back.

"What do you want to do?" I murmur against his lips.

"This seems like a good start," he replies, and I feel him smile.

"If we keep it up, it's gonna be a good ending, too."

He laughs and picks up the pace of his strokes. I discover that he really likes it when I kiss his neck when he moans and leans into me, his hand moving faster.

"You don't know how badly I've wanted this to happen, Edward."

"Trust me… I do."

He kisses my neck then and the throaty sound that spills past my lips is wanton as he nibbles his way down to my collarbone.

"We better get on the bed before I fall over," I say.

I stretch out on my bed again and he climbs on top of me, straddling my thighs, continuously stroking his cock as he sits back on his haunches.

"What do you think about?" he asks.

I swallow hard, trying to choose my words, not wanting to scare him off in any way.

"I think about your hands and your mouth on me… everywhere." My hand picks up where it previously left off, stroking a little bit faster than I was before.

"Tell me."

Just last night I had an epic jack off session that centered around him giving me a fantastic blow job. I had slicked my hand with spit to try and make it more realistic, and I truly never came so hard before in my life.

"I think about you sucking my dick." My voice is gritty just thinking about it, and I stroke myself faster.

"Oh, fuck, I want to…"

"I think about you wearing your glasses and looking up at me…"


"Just before I come, I jerk off on your face with your mouth open and your tongue sticking out just a little…"

His hand has become a blur and I know he's close to coming. At least I hope he is, because I'm pretty damn close myself.

"Do you think about me, Edward?"

"Christ… all the time…" he groans as his head lolls back for a moment.

"What do you think about?"

His eyes squeeze shut and he mercilessly bites his bottom lip.

Blowing out a breath, he finally opens his eyes to look at me, his body jerking with what I can only assume is the effort to stave off his orgasm.

"I think about you… bending me over my desk and fucking me… hard…"

He's breathless now and I'm holding my own breath, picturing that beautiful sight in my mind and wanting it just as badly as he does.

"Fuck, Edward… I want you so bad…"

"Shit… I'm gonna come… thinking about you slamming into me..."

"Me, too… God, how I'd love that…"

Love you, love you, love you, love you…

No, I'm not getting sappy. My brain is overloaded with endorphins and the fucking song, Angel is in my head providing a soundtrack to our imaginary fucking.

That doesn't mean I don't love this.

"Coming," he says. "Oh, God, I'm coming…"

"Christ," I grunt as the first spurt flies out and splashes onto my belly. I then feel one that's not mine and I look up at Edward as another shot lands on my skin. "So fucking hot…" I murmur.

He collapses on top of me and fucking giggling, he kisses me.

"I'm sorry. I'm making a mess, aren't I?" he asks.

"No worries," I assure him, sliding my hands up his back.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For coming out to me... helping me come out to you… for this."

"I should be thanking you for the very same thing." I kiss the top of his head and he sighs against me.

Love you, love you, love you, love you…

No, I'm not getting sappy.