Hi! First of all let me say I am so sorry I have not been following some amazing stories here I said (wrote) I would be following. I am so sorry. I will try. I miss this place and will try to catch up. Only… I do not know when. But you will know when because I will leave you reviews. :-)
I wrote this many months ago, though it is still fresh in my mind, where I wrote this and when. Inspiration decided to come and hit me during my lunch breaks, which ended up being breaks devoted to writing instead to having some kind of lunch…
And because I miss this place, the other day I thought to share this with you.
This is post-Robin going to the Holy Land and it is very short. Let me know what you think! English is not my first language, and though I double checked this many times if you spot any mistakes do not hesitate to let me know.
The characters in this are not R+M, because technically Robin is not here but I hope you will understand why I chose R+M as the protagonists.
Disclaimer: I do not own them. Honestly, owing Robin and Marian? I love them though, and this is what happened, a story was born out of it.
There is a man.
There is a man, Robin.
Lately, I find him everywhere, I see him everywhere.
I go to Nottingham and decide to have some quiet time by myself wandering near the stalls when something makes me jump.
He appears out of nowhere.
He appears out of nowhere and bows his head and looks into my eyes and speaks. "Lady… Marian".
He asks me questions, enquires about me, my life, my father.
I go riding outside Knighton, and I stop for a second, just a second so that my horse can drink and so that I can drink and I hear a horse and find him behind me saying "What a coincidence to find you here. Why are you here?" He offers to accompany me home. To escort me "because a lady needs a man to escort her home. And you are a lady, lady Marian".
How would I say no next time? I have run out of excuses why he can not accompany me. I have been very creative lately when it has come to excuses.
When he speaks my name I wish I were somewhere else. In my room, for example. I wish my father had locked me into it. Instead I have to smile, smile at him! Smile politely because I am a lady.
Today he did something he had never done. Two things he had never done before.
We have only one maid helping out with the chores at home because these are… well… not easy times… So I help her every day because there is a lot to do at home.
We were busy outside, with clothes to dry and I was feeling fine. The maid, Anna, is nice and friendly, now that I have persuaded her that we can be friends and that I do not want her to bow at me when she speaks with me. She is nice and friendly and it was a lovely warm day.
I did not hear the horse.
Anna and I were chatting and working and everything was fine.
Then, a second later, he stepped into my quiet world where everything was peaceful and bright.
He was there, too close to me, in my property, well, my father's property, outside my house! And his "Lady Marian!" which sounded as if he were scolding me. "You shouldn't be doing this!" He was scolding me!
Anna got scared, she looked briefly at me, took the sheets from my hands, bowed to me, no Anna, I told you I do not want you to bow at me, we are two girls, two friends, stay here, stay here Anna, st-, bowed at him and went back inside in a hurry.
She did not get my unspoken message during that brief second when she looked at me. Why didn't she understand?
I wished I were Anna then.
I wished I were a maid, having the chance to escape.
I am no maid, unfortunately.
If I were a man, I would have yelled: "What are you doing here Addressing to me like that! Startling my dear friend!"
I am not a maid. I can not just bow and go out of the scene.
I am not a man. I can not yell at a man.
I am a noblewoman. There are worst things in life but none I could think of that moment.
"Sir, to what do I, do we owe this… visit?"
I can not speak his name.
Then he goes on with his scolding, yes, that was his purpose, and "you should leave this job to the maids, you were born noble, nothing like them. And you should be given protection, wealth, your father should not let you do this…"
I interrupted him. For the first time. I had to. Whenever he spoke to me before what I always did is bit the inside of my cheek and force myself not to interrupt him, you must not interrupt a man when he is speaking, one of the rules you should know and respect from the age of four. I suppose I will have to do that again to make him stop if he speaks to me like that again.
"I have everything I need, sir. It was not my father who had me help the girl. I chose to help her. If you'll excuse me now, I have much to d-"
He touched me.
God, he came closer, until I could not see the sun. My world had been so bright before. He gave me orders.
"You should not. You are a fine noblewoman. You should… come to the feast at the castle, for instance. I have never had the pleasure to see you there once. You will be my guest at the next one and you will… sit next to me in the hall. In fact, I came from Locksley to invite you and to give you this."
He took my hand before I could react and I almost let him put a bracelet around my wrist.
You helped me out then.
It is not that you are listening to this so I can safely say everything that I felt. I want to say what I felt.
I thought of you. I felt you when he dared say "Locksley". Your home. Your beautiful home. Locksley, that now resounds of his steps. Oh Robin, if you knew…
I thought of you.
I thought of you, Robin of Locksley. Robin.
So I put some distance between myself and the man, swallowed hard and promised to myself I will be ready if he does that again. Ordering me to do things, taking my hand without my permission, bringing me… gifts…
I even had to thank him for his… kindness. Oh God.
"Sir, I thank you for coming all this way to my house. I am not fond of these feasts and… I do not wish to be told what I should or should not do. Pray, I do not need any… gifts…" Nor your hands on… on me.
He did not reply. I heard just an intake of breath. Maybe I took him by surprise. He did not say anything. What if he will know how to reply next time? I called Anna, bowed my head at him before saying I was busy and approached my house.
He left. Thank God he left. And I could see the sun again, then. My bright world was back.
I am strong. I am a strong young woman. I try to smile now, thinking you said that to me many times, looking straight in my clear eyes and I know you believed those words.
"You are strong, Marian, the strongest girl ever."
That is why I try to believe them even when it is hard. Because you told me that, believing those words.
There is this man, Robin.
He is everywhere I go and I don't know if I know how to deal with him. I need to find new ways, soon. Because every time I see him the day turns bad. He is black, outside and inside. Every time he speaks to me the sun goes away. How do you deal with a person who is black inside? You once said we are similar because there is a bright and clear light inside you, inside me, that shows itself in my eyes, in your eyes. How can I keep this light inside me? So that it shows itself outside to fight what is dark?
There is this man, Robin.
My… my heart aches. And you are not here, you are not saving me from him.
See why this is a R+M story? What do you think? Thank you for reading. Fra