According to FF, last chapter had 3,333 words... XD But back to the point! Part two! (Here's where everybody goes: Hooray!) That's right people, I managed to come up with chapter two! Am I just awesome or what? Hahaha I'm kidding, I'm just really happy today.
I love you guys, really, I got so many reviews and alerts and favorites… some of you even checked out my other stories! Aren't those guys awesome? I'm happy to see that all of you liked this, and even happier to see that most of you laughed! You made my day, really!
And Dementra, to answer your question, nope! But I'll make sure to read that! That title really got me in a giggling fit hahaha!
You know the disclaimer and stuff, if not, read last chapter!
"Hey, guys, are you okay? You seem flustered." Luffy asked the three people sitting (more like sprawled) on the deck.
Nami was the first one to react; she got up and yanked Luffy away from Zoro, ignoring the yelp of pain the boy emitted before smothering him in a hug. "You monster!" She said glaring at a surprised Zoro. Then she pulled the suffocating Luffy away from her and, with her hands still firmly pressed against his shoulders, she asked kindly. "Are you okay, Luffy? Are you hurt?"
Luffy smiled, looking at Nami in the eyes before answering, "Yeah, I'm fine. Zoro helped me feel better."
Three pairs of eyes glared at the green haired swordsman.
"You sick, perverted bastard." Sanji said, nearing the confused – and quite scared – Zoro. "How dare you touch Luffy like that!"
Zoro stared at the blond cook as if he had grown a second head, and he was about to retort with an insult before being interrupted by Usopp. "You could've just taken a cold shower! You didn't have to take off your stupid needs on Luffy!"
Now Zoro was beyond confused. Where those two on crack? "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Don't act innocent!" Sanji yelled, glaring at the green haired man with all his might. "We heard everything!"
"Yeah!" Usopp backed up, pointing an accusing finger at Zoro. "Even when you said you were going to take off his shorts!"
Luffy tilted his head to the side. "Yeah, Zoro said he needed to take a better look so he took off my shorts."
Zoro blinked. Well he was just helping Luffy so he needed to do it, but hearing those words while being a third person, and without looking at the situation… He furrowed his eyebrows a bit. It did sound kind of weird…
"What did he do then, Luffy?" Nami asked once again, her kind gaze never leaving the oblivious captain.
Luffy, somehow getting the (stupid) idea that his crew could get inside his mind and see that, indeed, he was just talking about a wound, decided to explain everything. "Well it was rather big…" Zoro turned around; his brain slowly digesting what was being said. "And I started to bleed…" Okay, the way he was telling it sounded just so… wrong!
Zoro opened his mouth in an attempt to clarify that Luffy was talking about his wound being rather big, but got interrupted before any word could get out his throat.
"You made him bleed?" Nami asked, a reproachful look on her eyes. She then let her gaze go down to where his manhood was located, ignoring Zoro's uncomfortable shifting, and then back at Luffy. "Did it hurt?"
Luffy nodded. "Yeah, at the beginning, but then Zoro smeared something here" He then pointed at his thigh, everyone's eyes bulged, obviously getting the wrong picture. "And after some time it didn't hurt that much."
"Wait! You're getting it all wrong!" Zoro interrupted. Why couldn't Luffy explain properly, damn it! "It was not –"
"Shut up, monster!" Usopp interrupted, and getting brave all of a sudden he smacked Zoro across the head.
"Luffy, what happened after he spread… that?" Sanji asked, hoping for the boy to continue.
Luffy turned at Sanji, confusion still in his eyes. "Well Zoro started to add more pressure, so I started to move too and then this white stuff flied all over the place, some of it was in Zoro's mouth too."
"It was ointment!" Zoro yelled desperately, Luffy was just making a mess out of this!
"How disgusting," Sanji said, glaring at the swordsman. "Calling it like that."
Zoro blushed before barking at the cook. "I'm not calling anything like that, you damned cook!"
"And then Zoro finished and helped me get my pants on again!" Zoro's eyes felt like they've just had a frickin' growing spurt. Someone just shut him up! "It still hurts a bit though, I can't walk properly."
"He wasn't even gentle!" Nami said mortified, then she stared at Zoro. "Can't you even control yourself a bit? Being so rough on Luffy, shame on you!"
"You thought there wouldn't be a problem because he's made of rubber, didn't you?" Usopp said, glaring too, at the swordsman.
Zoro stared disbelievingly. His captain was an idiot, a complete and utter idiot. "That's not what happened!" He said, but he could as well be talking to a piece of wood for all the attention he received from the rest of the crew.
"I'm going to Chopper's." Luffy said, limping his way over to the small reindeer's office and leaving a stunned Zoro in a messed-up situation with some murder-capable people. Someone must really, really hate him.
He could feel the killing intent directed at him, and even if he would never admit it, it took him a lot of self control to stay on his spot and not stutter. "I swear I didn't do anything to him!" Why did he leave his swords in his room?
"I knew it!" Nami said, clearly ignoring Zoro's statement. "I knew you weren't straight! But to actually force Luffy? How could you?"
He did not gape. Absolutely not… Did that witch just said what he thought she said?
"Yeah, that over-protectiveness towards Luffy wasn't normal." Usopp nodded, eyeing Zoro from head to toe.
Over-protectiveness? Well yeah, Luffy was an idiot that needed constant vigilance, of course he would develop some sense of protectiveness towards the normally oblivious boy, he was the first mate, after all, but this was just bordering the line of ridiculous! "I'm telling you I didn't do anything to him! He got hurt so I tended him!"
"Yeah right, you pervert." He did not like those words being called out from that shitty chef. "You just abused of his innocence and satisfied your needs, right? Even telling him that it was all 'to help him'!"
"Will you just listen to what I'm saying!"
"And to think that I actually thought you two looked cute together…" Nami said. Once again, what was that witch talking about? "I will not accept your relationship until you apologize to Luffy! And he needs an explanation; he is not gonna be your sex toy, Roronoa."
Yep, someone hated him. Zoro stared at Nami with disbelief; he was definitely scarred for life. He liked the boy, sure; and he may think he's cute, who didn't? But to think of Luffy as his sex toy? That was just… even thinking about it screamed 'wrong' all over it! "I don't think of Luffy like that, woman! And I'm telling you! Luffy cut himself so I just helped him!"
"Oh really?" Usopp said, getting a flashlight out of nowhere before pointing it directly at Zoro's eyes. "We heard all that banging, Zoro-kun, and even though you told Luffy you'd be gentle he said you were rough on him!"
"You're all misunderstanding!" Zoro yelled desperately, just how much of a perverts were this crew?
"We do?" Sanji said, getting the flashlight from Usopp's grasp and pointing it at Zoro himself. "Then what about those screams, huh?"
"But that was because –"
"Did you tell Luffy to lift his leg to get better results? DID YOU?"
"I did!" Zoro said exasperatedly, spitting in the idiotic cook's face on purpose. "But it was to place a bandage where the bleeding was coming out! And get that flashlight off my face, damn it!"
"Nonsense!" Nami yelled, pointing a manicured finger at Zoro's throat. If he was a lesser man, he would've whimpered. "You abused of Luffy's innocence! I bet you tied him down with those bandages, didn't you?"
"Is everything okay?"
Four heads turned to the curious woman who stood a few feet away from them. It was quite a sight, actually. The normally calm and brave Zoro was now cornered by three of their nakama; if Robin guessed correctly, she could assume that he was scared to death. But what got her interest were the words they were yelling at him; something about him being a pervert, Luffy, and as it seemed by Nami´s previous statement, Luffy tied down with bandages.
"Zoro was horny and used Luffy to have man-babies!" Came the loud reply from Usopp, pointing at the aforementioned man to back up his point.
"I wasn't horny!" Yelled Zoro, a blush creeping up to his cheeks. "And I didn't do anything!"
"Oh my, wouldn't a cold shower have been better?" Robin asked, her eyes landing on the blushing swordsman. "I would've never thought you liked men."
"Really? I thought he wasn't straight from the first time I saw him!" Nami said, eyeing a gaping Zoro. "I mean, he has more piercings than I do, and he's rather obsessed over his body, don't you think?"
"I'm not obsessed over my body! I train to be the greatest swordsman! And I'm straight!"
"Then why did you do that to Luffy!" Usopp asked.
Zoro glared at him. "I'm telling you I didn't do anything!"
Robin chuckled, this had turned out to be quite an amusing conversation. "Where's Luffy-san?
"He's at Chopper's," Sanji answered. "He was limping and he said it hurt because this pervert was too rough on him."
"It was not like that! He hurt himself and I was helping him!"
"Don't lie to us!" Usopp yelled. "We heard you screaming out Luffy's name!"
Robin turned her gaze to a red faced Zoro, who was at the moment glaring at Usopp. "It was because he was trashing around too much!"
"You used force on him?" Nami asked. "That's why he was bleeding!"
"He was bleeding because he cut himself! And I used force to treat him!" Zoro replied, his hands twitching to get a hold of his swords.
"Ah, of course. So you just had to sit him in the drawer and tie him down with Chopper's bandages, didn't you!" Sanji said, hollering over the swordsman. "I didn't think you'd be the kinky type."
"Well, it's not hard to imagine him asking Luffy to dress as a maid or something like that." Usopp said, placing a hand over his shin.
Nami scoffed. "A maid, you have no imagination. Next time you should ask Luffy to dress as a slave, Zoro, with a collar and a leash maybe a whip too; telling him to beg and stuff, you know. I could get you some whipped cream if you want."
Zoro gaped, Nami was being too damn explicit! He could imagine Luffy like that and – gah! Stop it! "What are you talking about!" Zoro could feel his face burning with embarrassment, they were crazy! And they were all perverts!
Robin pondered for a moment, she knew Zoro was overprotective of Luffy, but he wouldn't do something like that to the captain, he cared too much for the boy's well being. So with a small 'excuse me' she went over to Chopper's office, leaving the rest of the crew to torture Zoro a bit more. "Luffy-san?" She asked after knocking a few times on the wooden door of the small doctor's office. "Are you there?"
"Yeah!" Came the energetic reply from her captain. "Come in!"
Robin did as told, and found a grinning Luffy in his boxers. Chopper was standing over his leg, and Robin saw Chopper placing a bandage expertly over the boy's thigh. "That looks kind of painful."
"Luffy got himself stabbed with one of Zoro's swords," Chopper said after finishing with the bandages. "So Zoro cleaned him up and disinfected the wound before Luffy came here."
Luffy grinned. "Thanks, Chopper." He said sheepishly while pulling his shorts up.
"Don't go running around too much, or the wound will open again." Chopper said while placing everything were it belonged. "It's too noisy outside…"
Robins chuckled, so this was just a big misunderstanding, Luffy must've explained things wrong and the crew thought Zoro did something to him. "Ah yes, they are all attacking Zoro-san for hurting Luffy-san."
Both Chopper and Luffy looked at the older woman confused, why would they do something to Zoro, he didn't hurt Luffy at all. "But Zoro treated me." Luffy said, following Chopper and Robin out of the small office.
"Yeah, but I think they heard captain-san scream, so they thought Zoro was hurting you."
Luffy ah'ed, going to the railing and leaning over it to see his nakama on the deck of the Going Merry; Sanji, Usopp and Nami surrounding Zoro, who had now his back against the mast. Chopper's eyes grew wide at the scene. "Oh no! They are attacking Zoro!" He said, and then he turned over to Robin with wide, desperate eyes. "Should I get my medical kit?"
"I don't think that's necessary." Said Robin while smiling kindly to the small doctor. "They are more like mentally scarring him." She added after hearing something that sounded like: 'You asshole better not have made it oral!', or something like that. She vaguely wondered how Sanji came to such conclusion.
"Zoro's making some funny faces!" Luffy said, watching how the color of his face changed rapidly to different tones of red with each sentence their nakama said.
"Shouldn't we stop them?" Chopper asked, concern dripping off his voice as he kept sparing glances towards Zoro.
As much as she would like to see how this turned out in the end, Robin nodded, leading Chopper and Luffy to the stairs and down the deck where the shouts of their crew became clearer. "Then how can you explain Luffy limping, eh!" Nami said, it seemed the conversation had, once again, turned to its original state.
"Because he got himself cut with my sword!" Zoro said, a throbbing vein could be spotted in his forehead.
"I can't believe you call it like that," Usopp said, effectively bringing a blush to Zoro's face. "Wait, you know what? I actually do. Although I was sure you would name it after one of your moves you know? Like Oni –"
"Don't finish that sentence, moron!" Sanji said, kicking Usopp in the back. "There's a lady here!"
"Usopp!" Chopper yelled, going over to the marksmen who was currently face first on the wooden floor and clutching his bleeding nose.
Sanji and Nami glanced behind them, and a grinning Luffy and smiling Robin greeted them. "Luffy!" Sanji and Nami yelled in unison, going over to the still smiling boy. "Are you okay? What did Chopper tell you?" Nami asked first.
"Don't let Zoro have your man-babies, Luffy!" Usopp yelled from his position in the ground, earning a glare from Zoro.
"I'm fine!" Luffy said, "Chopper just changed the bandages Zoro placed, see?" He then lifted his short enough to let them see the bandages that surrounded his thigh.
"Why is your leg bandaged?" Sanji asked, confusion written all over his face.
"I told you, I was bleeding because I cut myself with Zoro's swords, so he helped me." Luffy said, wondering if his crew had brain damage, or something like that.
Usopp was the first to react, going over to where his captain was while ignoring Chopper's yells to stay put. "Wait but… we heard you scream!"
"Yeah well, that medicine burned a lot, and Zoro was being too rough!" Luffy answered, sending a small pout to his first mate.
"Then…" Nami said. "What about that white stuff flying all over the place?"
"It was ointment." Zoro said, stressing the word ointment while scowling at the perverted trio.
Sanji gulped, "So you two weren't…?"
"I told you I didn't do anything to him!" Zoro growled, glaring at the three dumbfounded perverts and hoping to crave a hole in their skulls.
"Wait, so this was all about a wound in Luffy's thigh?" Usopp asked, and they all watched as Luffy nodded and pointed his inner thigh, and not any other part of his anatomy as they had previously thought.
"I still have my doubts about your sexual orientation." Nami said while shrugging, she ignored the killer glare that Zoro sent her.
Luffy tilted his head to the side, completely confused over the whole thing. "It still hurts, though, it was rather big…"
"Your wound… right?" Usopp asked, just to be sure.
"Yep!" Bless his innocent self.
"Of course he's talking about his wound, as if the marimo would be that big." Sanji scoffed, angering the swordsman once more.
Zoro walked over to the blond man and grabbed him violently from the collar of his shirt. "What the hell are you implying, eh, shitty cook?"
"What do you think, stupid marimo? I'm saying that you are not big at all."
Nami and Usopp sighed, it seemed this had been a big misunderstanding; they would have to apologize to Zoro later.
Luffy stared at the quarreling duo, he was hearing their conversation and wondered about it himself. He eyed Zoro from head to toe and realized he was slightly taller than Sanji, meaning that he was taller than him. Then what was Sanji talking about? Of course Zoro was big! He needed to back up his first mate.
"What are you talking about? Zoro's really big!"
Three pairs of glaring eyes turned to the swordsman.
Zoro gulped. "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"
Awright! I managed to make a two-shot! And that's it from this story (: I had fun writing this, really, I just love the idea of a cornered Zoro…!
Well people, I hope you enjoyed this two-shot and that I at least entertained you a bit, if I managed to make you laugh or at least smile, then mission complete!
Until next time! Be good! (: