A/N: Now with extra added "best-friends-oblivious-to-how-much-they-love-each-other kissage!" [term courtesy of nipponophile] is the final Wedding story.

Part 16 - Wedding Zone


The TARDIS materialised on Roald Dahl Plass, and the Doctor immediately bound out and headed for the hidden lift for the Hub. He jittered about on the step as it descended; he just couldn't control his excitement.

Without waiting for the lift to stop, he jumped off and strode into the Torchwood office space. To his dismay Jack wasn't there. Looking up he saw several office windows, and he noticed sitting by one of the Torchwood monitors was Jack, his head dipped in concentration as he perused a file. Visually following the supporting beam, the Doctor found a set of stairs and sprung into Jack's office.

"Jack! Guess what!" the Doctor practically yelled at him. "I have news about me and Donna. We're married!"

"Yeah? So what," Jack casually replied. "We found that out ages ago."

The Doctor pouted at him angrily. "No you didn't," he insisted. "That was all a farce. But it's the truth now."

"Is it?" Jack still didn't look very impressed as he glanced up at the Doctor from his paperwork. "I know you think I don't have very much to do, but could you go and pester someone else with your non news?"

"Fine!" the Doctor huffed angrily, and marched out of Jack's office.

Jack sighed and got up out of his chair. "Doc! Come back!" he called out. He leant against the doorframe. "I'm sorry about the greeting but I'd heard you might be calling in, I'm snowed under, and I'm tired," he apologised as he rubbed at the bridge of his nose in emphasis.

"Who told you I might be calling in?" demanded the Doctor.

Jack chose to ignore the petulant glare. "We double checked your wedding story straight after I last saw you, and we found the two of you quite easily. I assume you meant it to be so easy, Doctor Noble," he added with a teasing grin. "I'm surprised you didn't use Smith."

The Doctor gave a defensive sniff. "Donna didn't want me to use Smith so we chose Noble. It's not impossible to share the same surname."

"Of course it isn't," agreed Jack. "You must have called in a favour or two to get hitched in Canterbury Cathedral though. Where is Donna by the way?"

"Oh, she's just finishing having a long warm soak in a hot bath to ease her muscles," the Doctor replied offhandly. He went to add something else and then immediately pinked up to Jack's delight.

"Over exerting ourselves, were we?" he cheekily asked. "I could always come and give her a special massage if you like. I have very good hands."

"I'm well aware how good your hands are, Jack!" the Doctor retorted. "No, there should be no need for that from you. She erm… she has very particular tastes, I mean, views about men touching her. "

"Does she?" Jack asked with interest as the Doctor blushed even more. "Anything that you'd care to share?"

The Doctor adjusted his collar. "I knew this would be a mistake to do on my own," he admitted.

"Missing her already? Oh how sweet!" Jack jibed him.

"We were going to invite you out to a meal with us, but if you want to get on with your paperwork…," the Doctor vaguely offered, keen to get away from the teasing.

Jack took hold of the Doctor's sleeve. "Oh no you don't! You don't get away from me that easily." He regarded the Doctor closely then. "You look different. What have you been doing to yourself?" he asked.

"Nothing!" the Doctor quickly replied. "Just going out getting myself married," he added, clearly chuffed with himself.

"Yes, that would do it," Jack agreed with a chuckle. "Now why did you come and personally ask me rather than just phone?"

The Doctor averted his gaze and fiddled with a pen he found. "I thought I'd use my time to collect you and…" He lifted his gaze to ask, "See if you wanted to help me cook?"

Jack burst into laughter. "You? Cook! This I have to see!"

"I'm not completely useless in the kitchen," the Doctor angrily retorted.

"Sure! If you don't mind it served up on burnt toast," Jack replied.

"I'll have you know I've dished up several delectable meals for Donna," the Doctor insisted.

"Look, what you do with Donna is between the pair of you, unless you fancy a threesome of course." Jack added a cheeky wink for good measure.

The Doctor huffed angrily. "Will you help me rustle up a meal worthy of my wife? Yes or no? Because if it's too much trouble…"

Jack couldn't resist chuckling at him. "Fine! I'll help you; if only to see you in a flap over cooking a meal for someone," he replied.

"She isn't just someone," the Doctor insisted.

"I'm beginning to realise that," Jack answered, and reached for his coat.


"Are the prawns defrosted properly, have the steaks cooked enough, has the mousse set, and did you cool the wine?" the Doctor fired questions at Jack.

"Yes!" Jack yelled back at him. "Now once and for all would you calm down? This isn't MasterChef!"

The Doctor opened his mouth to answer, but he was interrupted by Donna calling out, "Can I come in yet? I'm beginning to wonder if I've been sent to Coventry and not Cardiff."

Jack threw the Doctor a supportive glance. "Yes Donna! We're ready for you now," he called back.

"Thank goodness for that," Donna remarked as she entered, looking stunning in a low-cut black dress. "My stomach thinks my throat has been cut."

To Jack's increasing amusement the Doctor bounded up to her like an enthusiastic schoolboy. "We'll soon have you feeling full; I mean less hungry," he gushed, taking hold of Donna's arm and guiding her to a seat. "You look gorgeous tonight," he whispered close to her ear, and rubbed his hands down her back until they rested on her bottom. "And I want to show you exactly what that dress is doing to me."

Donna wove her arms around his neck. "I think I can accurately guess, you saucy Spaceman!" she told him in sultry tones, lifting her face just enough for him to take the hint and kiss her. She hungrily kissed him back, groaning into his mouth.

Jack gave a polite cough. "When you two have finished eating each other, do you think we can start on the food? We don't want it to get cold after all the effort we put into it," he reminded them.

He noticed that the Doctor kept a possessive hold of Donna, and all sorts of plots ran through his mind. He shamelessly smirked at them both. "Jack!" the Doctor immediately admonished him, and Donna peeled with laughter.

Pulling out the chair for her, Jack asked, "Why don't you tell me how you bagged a wedding with the Archbishop of Canterbury Cathedral? Was blackmail involved?"

Donna took the offered seat, and sat down. "You could say that," she replied enigmatically.

"I would have described it as kidnapping," the Doctor remarked, settling plates of food down onto the table. When Donna quirked a questioning eyebrow at him, he replied, "You ran off with my hearts."

Donna beamed in response, but Jack had an overwhelming urge to gag! He wasn't sure he was ready to cope with a romantic Doctor.


"Mum! I have news," Donna spoke softly.

"You'll have to say it a bit more convincingly than that," the Doctor remarked. He stretched out on the bed and grinned at her reflection.

"I know!" she playfully griped at him, looking over her shoulder. "You could always say it for me?" she half asked him, turning to saunter closer to the bed. "After all, you do have a winning way with words."

"And you are trying to bribe me with your body," he replied, holding out his hands to tenderly draw her down next to him. "Or should I say tempt? It all depends on whether you will deliver or not."

She leant in to kiss his lips. "I thought I always delivered. But if bribery is what you are after, then yes, I think that can be arranged." She pressed more firmly against his mouth, and his hands flew up to hold her head in place.

"Can we discuss terms later? Only somethings are a bit more pressing," he murmured before capturing her lips once more and rolling her body onto the bed beneath him.

"Okay, we'll sign a whole bloody contract if necessary," she agreed breathily. "I can tell something else has come up."

"Can you?" he asked as he fought to undo the fastening of her bra.

"Funnily enough, yeah," she answered, releasing the buckle of his trouser belt.

He grinned wolfishly at her. "Allons y," he declared with a whoop of joy, and allowed her to deal with the finer details.


Wilf answered the door when they knocked. His look of sheer delight instantly made their day. He hugged them both tightly and then ushered them into the kitchenette. He did a hop, skip and a jump as he ran to put the kettle on. Chattering on, he informed them that Sylvia had just popped out, that he'd been round to see Netty and he'd bought fresh supplies of biscuits on the way home.

It was as Wilf brought the tea over to the table that he thought to consider them properly. There was a glow about Donna and the Doctor; an extremely happy glow as they instinctively leaned toward each other. This was confirmed by the sight of their hands clasped firmly together. Expecting some exciting news, Wilf asked, "Do I take it that you've got something to tell us?"

"Well," Donna replied, glancing briefly at the Doctor. "The thing is… we sort of got married properly, and the service was performed by the Archbishop of Canterbury."

Wilf looked stunned. "The Archbishop of Canterbury? How did you do that? Will it be on the six o'clock news?" he asked as he sat down.

"I doubt it," Donna scoffed. "Getting married in 1768 is hardly going to hit the headlines, is it? But the ceremony was payment for services rendered." The Doctor giggled mischievously at that. "Oi! Saucy! Don't start that again." She swatted at his leg. "I didn't mean services in that way."

"I should hope not," he replied, grinning broadly at her. "I don't think they give out rewards for cradle snatching."

"Oh for the love of… For the last time, Matthew wanted to meet YOU, not ME!" she huffed in his face.

"Are you sure? I think you are underrating yourself, wife!" he gave her another mischievous grin and grabbed both her hands.

"Listen 'ere, husband! I know my value very well," she retorted.

"Oh, I don't think you do," he told her, pulling her closer. "Do you know what you mean to me?"

"Head cook and bottle-washer?" she pondered. "Orphan Annie… Spot the Dog?"

He released her hands to cradle her face. "How about lifesaver, partner, lover…" He captured her lips then, moving delicately over her mouth, relishing the feel of her full lips as they shared passionate kisses. Donna very happily reciprocated.

There was a polite cough, and then Sylvia's severe voice. "Are they at it again, Dad? Don't they ever come up for air?"

The Doctor instantly let go of Donna, and retreated to the furthest point on his chair. "Sorry," he spluttered.

"So… Doctor," Wilf tried to refocus things. "Any sign of that great-grandchild of mine yet?"

"I… erm… we're still working on that one, Wilf," admitted the Doctor, blushing with embarrassment.

"Not on my chairs hopefully," Sylvia remarked.

"Mum!" exclaimed Donna in horror, whilst the Doctor had a sudden coughing fit.

Wilf watched all this with glee. "Ain't love grand, Sylvia? I never thought I'd see our Donna married to a man she deeply loved; but I can now die happy," he commented.

"Well I don't know about that…," Donna blustered.

"We're not in love in any way…," the Doctor trotted out at the same time.

Wilf's eyes danced with delighted mischief. "Thought so!"

"Dad! Leave them be," Sylvia admonished him. "Any more teasing from you and that grandchild will begin to look even more like a pipedream." She then laughed at Donna and the Doctor's expressions of mortification.


"That went well, I thought," the Doctor remarked as he undid the cuffs of his shirt.

"We still didn't own up to having only just got married," she pointed out, "so technically it went badly."

"Oh I don't know," he told her, moving to stand beside her and drawing her into his embrace. "There was a lot of accepting and loving in my direction, so I'd say it was a phenomenal success." He grinned widely and smugly.

"Why am I not surprised you feel that way?" she asked sarcastically. "Talking of 'loving', husband dear, don't take any notice of Gramps. He meant well, but, as you said, things aren't that way between us."

He reached up to catch a stray wisp of hair on her head and removed it from obscuring her face. "Of course not." He brought his lips down to gently kiss across her shoulders. "I can see that." He kissed his way around her neck. "It's crystal clear." His lips swept lightly over hers. "To all and sundry…"

"What is?" she asked vaguely, caught off guard by his actions.

"I dunno. What was the question again?" He pressed his lips to her mouth with more determination, several times.

"I give up. What was it? And who gives a damn?" She eagerly reciprocated.

They undulated against each other, deepening their kisses to taste each other fully. "Not me. Do you fancy some not-loving?"

"Yes please!" she breathed next to his ear.

They continued to 'not love' each other for the rest of the night; and for many nights afterwards.