ARTWWLI: sorry this took so long. I've had it typed since Xmas, but SOMEONE *coughcoughCPGcoughcough* gave up the computer for lent and I gave her my only copy. DON'T SHOOT ME!

CPG: oh, come on, what is the likelihood that our readers have guns? OH MY CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS THAT THING IS HUGE.

ARTWWLI: I own nada…yet

CPG: or ever


CPG: *Drags ARTWWLI away kicking and screaming* REVIEW!

Nico POV

So, we were heading to Emo Kid 101 in the mall, and the lady at the check-in counter as were walking in came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Only children ages 10 and up are allowed in this class.

While simultaneously giving the lady my worst death glare taken from my dad himself and punching Fang for snickering in the background, I growled, "I'm thirteen."

She blinked. Twice. And again. Then she leaned down on her knees and said, "You sure, honey?"

I swear this woman wanted me to- oh, wait. Is this rated PG? Dang.

"Yes. I'm sure," I said through clenched teeth.

"Do you have an ID?" she asked.

I sighed and turned to Fang. "You got a phone?" I muttered, ignoring the lady's question.

Once I held his cell phone, I dialed Annabeth's number and waited.

"Hello?" I heard.

"Where's Percy?" I asked immediately, not bothering to say hi.

"Nico?" she inquired.

I rolled my eyes. "No. Percy's cheating on you; this is his secret girlfriend," I replied sarcastically. "Yes this is Nico! Where's Percy?"

Annabeth sighed and handed the phone off.

"Nico?" Percy said.

"Tell this lady my age," I commanded, switching the phone to speaker.

"Your age?" Percy repeated.

"Yes! My age! Now tell her before I drag her to the pits of Tartarus!"

"Okay, okay! He's 83."

The woman's eyes widened.

"No, not that age, you idiot!"

"Oh. Okay, sorry, Yeah, he's thirteen."

The woman was now too shocked to speak, so we pushed past her.

The room we entered into was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. The walls were black with sculls painted on them, the ceiling was a lovely shade of black, and the carpet reflected the gray over headlights quite nicely.

It was glorious. The room was filled with 10-20 year olds who wanted to kill themselves. I could just feel the raw death energy. Fang, however, took one look at the room and said, "I changed my mind. I'm leaving."

"Oh, come on! This is a wonderful place filled with people who hate their lives even more than you do," I said convincingly.

"Lemme think… no." He started for the door, but was stopped by a woman wearing way too many colors that pushed him into a red plastic kindergarten chair.

I laughed but the same woman appeared behind me and ushered me into the same kind of chair.

Only mine was yellow.

I hate my life.

"Fangles, can we switch chairs?" I asked, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.


Was that his favorite word? Because he sure used it a lot.

"Fine." I pouted.

A girl wearing some very short clothing items sashayed up to Fang. She didn't look like the emo type. More like the kind of girl who goes up to people and says 'hello. I'm looking for someone tall, dark, and mysterious. Interested yet?'

"Hi. I'm Lissa." Eh, close enough.

Fang's head snapped up and he gave the girl a long look.

"Oh my Edward Cullen! Nick?"

I burst out laughing. Fang knew this loco chica? See, I'm getting in touch with my Italian side. Or, wait, was that Spanish? Oops. Oh well.

The previously mentioned girl had red hair flowing down her back and brushing her waist (where did I get this girly vocabulary? I've been spending way too much time with the Aphrodite cabin). She was wearing 6 inch stilliettas, (A/N: he's trying to say stilettos but Nico's a fail) and dark makeup.

She didn't look emo, though. She looked like one of those girls who hung around these places saying things like, "Hi. I'm looking for someone tall, dark, and mysterious in my life. Be my Valentine?"

I held back a laugh as I looked over to the 'lovebirds'. The chick, Lissa, had her arm draped over his shoulder, leaning in a little too far for that top. Fang looked at me in panic. I contemplated whether to come to his aid, but then I imagine myself in his position and I caved.

How to do it though? I could open a grave and summon a skeleton to grab her and drag her to the depths of Tartarus, but I still hadn't given up that this class might actually be fun. So, I decided on sabotage. Didn't Fang have a girlfriend? What was her name? Maggie, Maddi, Maxi, Max! That was it, Max!

"So, F-Nick. How's your girlfriend? What was her name, Max?"

I wasn't exactly sure what this would do now that I said it. Apparently it did its job, though, because Lissa jumped off of Fang, squealing in disgust.

Now I'm seriously confuzzled.

"Your SISTER?" Lissa squealed.

Wait. Whaaat? Sister? Muy, muy confuzzled.

But anyway, Lissa stormed out of the classroom in a huff. Fang looked at me gratefully and mouthed, "Long story."

I just shrugged and turned my attention to the "teacher" who was frantically trying to get the class's attention. As soon as she got it, she began to speak.

"Okay class. My name is Miss Sadontheinside and I'm going to teach today's open session of Emo Kid 101. First, we're gonna go around the room and say your name, age, and something interesting about yourself. Let's start with you." She pointed to a girl on the other side of the room.

"My name is Millisa, I am 16 years old, and I like to hear people scream."

Wow. Creepy much? Probably a child of Ares. Next was a teenaged boy with jet-black, Justin Bieber hair.

"Name- Anubis. Age- 5004. Fact- I am the Egyptian god of the dead."

Well. Huh. I actually believed him. Next was a boy named Jethro who was eighteen and, I quote, "does not come from this world."

Then it was my turn.

"Hi. My name is Nico di Angelo, I am somewhere between the ages of thirteen and one hundred, and I am the son of Hades."

Anubis's head shot up and we shared a knowing look.

Fang was next. "Fang. Fifteen. I have wings."

Fang's not exactly, como se dice… 'talky'.

"Well. It seems we have very imaginative people in today's class. Everyone form groups of three. We are going to form secret handshakes!"

Yay! Her happiness is sickening. How do I survive in this crazy world? Ah, well. At least I'm still alive.