I'll Mend Your Heart
A/N: woah! So last week I'm worried I'll have no one reading this anymore and you guys only go and make it my most reviewed chapter ever! I'm humbled and ecstatic at your kind and sweet words; they really do make me want to write more.
Before you read this chapter I'd just like to point out that I've never been pregnant and therefore I struggled a little with this chap. If anything is incorrect I hope you'll just be able to look past it. My beta (and good friend) Topsy Krett Cullen was giving me some awesome advice and I'd probably still be struggeling without her. So a big, big thank you to her! 3
I've been awake for…oh, an hour. I've not moved an inch because Bella's practically sleeping on top of me.
Not that I mind…
I woke when dawn broke, the light streaming in from the large bay window in our island home bedroom. One of my hands has been absent mindedly running through her long, silky tresses and her soft breaths were fanning across my chest.
She'd fallen asleep right after we'd made love, not that I was surprised. Yesterday was, to put it mildly, intense. I can't say I expected Bella to be so accepting of our situation, and if she'd really wanted to go back home I like to think I'd have taken her, but I'm glad she got to understand the situation. Nothing is more important than her and our baby. There are no lengths I wouldn't go to, to keep them both safe.
To say they're my entire world would put it mildly.
It's these feelings that I feel…when she smiles at me…when she holds my hands…when I put my hand on her belly…when I think about our future. I never thought love would be this intense. In fact, I'm pretty sure the word 'love' is too weak to describe them. To be 'in love' is a common thing. Everybody loves someone or something. What I feel cannot be common! It's too consuming. Too exhausting. Too amazing.
It's when I think about this – think about my relationship with Bella – that I always end up wondering about my parents. Mostly my father. I was only young when they split up so I have very little memory of the time they were actually married. But I often wonder how he felt about her. Did his heart race every time his wife looked at him, like mine does? Did he love her so intently that he'd run away just to keep her safe, like I did? Did he place his hand over his wife's newly pregnant stomach and feel such a connection with the little baby, like I do? A large part of me worried the answer was no.
And even larger part of me knew the answer was no.
My Father wasn't like me. He didn't love like I loved, he didn't see his child the way I already see my unborn child, he didn't live his life with the sole purpose of making the world a better, safer place for his offspring.
I'm not suggesting my Father didn't love me, I knew on some level he did. But he never told me he loved me, and that's something that I will not be happening to my child. I want that baby to know, no matter what happens to me, that his or her Father loved them more than life itself.
"mmmm" Bella moving brought me out of my thoughts. She stretched out slightly, like a cat, before sighing contently. Her head lifted from my chest, and sleepy eyes greeted me. "Morning" her raspy morning voice spoke.
I couldn't help but laugh. "Morning Princess, how's my peanut today?" my fingers found her soft flesh, and I tickled the spot I thought our belly bean lay.
"Hungry" she smiled.
I pressed my lips to her belly "should Daddy make breakfast?"
"You're going to make the most amazing Father, you know that right?"
"I do now" I smiled, but she could see right through it. "I just…worry sometimes that I'll turn into my Dad"
"Would that be so bad?"
"No, not terribly bad, I just hope I'll be more emotionally available for my kids"
"kids huh? You're planning more?" her joke broke the tension and I actually found myself laughing with her. "But seriously, I don't think our children will go a day without knowing how much you love them. It's written so clearly across your face when you talk about them."
"I love you, Bella." Her smile was blinding.
"and I love you."
"now I should make you food, right?"
"actually –" she grabbed my hand as I began sliding out of bed "I just wanted to talk to you about something"
"sure, what's up?"
"erm…well, I was wondering if I could just give Charlie a quick call? I mean, he'll stop worrying and maybe they can call off the missing persons hunt?"
I sigh because I wish our problems were that simple. "Baby, I'd never keep our families this worried and in the dark if it wasn't necessary. But we're hiding from people so much more powerful than the police….if I'm being honest the police are the last of my worries. I'm sorry to tell you this Princess, but right now our families will be being watched very closely. All it'll take is one phone call, one piece of evidence, and they'll find us…please don't worry about anything. They'll all be safer the less they know."
"okay" her small voice replied, and a stray tear ran down her cheek.
"Hey" I whispered, pulling her close. Her face buried in my shirt and my hand, once again found its way into her hair. "I know this is hard, Princess. But it's for the best. I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't the best way. And it might not be forever. You'll see your dad again, I promise"
"Well go home? You promise?"
"Yeah, I promise. I just can't promise when"
"Well…" she sniffled "that's good enough for me"
"We'll be happy here, baby. I'll make sure of it" my hands rub along her back, caressing over her silky skin.
"All I need is you and our baby and I'll be happy"
~*13 Weeks Later*~
"Are you sure you're comfortable? Because I can get you a pillow or something…"
"-Edward, I'm fine!" she flops her whole body down on the bed, the paper crinkling as she does so "I just wish you'd stop fussing!"
"Okay, okay" I hold my hands up as though at gun point. Dr Granger had messaged a five minutes ago to say her was a few minutes away, so I took it upon myself to get Bella into the examination room and into a nighty which I deem close enough to a hospital gown.
Today is the big day… we're (hopefully) going to find out the sex of the baby.
Boy or girl
He or she
Edward or Edwina
Ew, no. She will not be called 'Edwina'.
"I'm sorry Edward. I don't mean to be such a cow"
"Hey!" I say, walking over to her. "Don't say things like that about yourself! I won't allow it. You're pregnant and I understand your emotions are all over the place. I understand and I don't and won't take offense to anything you say. Now, tell me what's up"
"I'm just…I'm just nervous" she begins playing with my fingers.
"That's understandable. But today is an amazing day! We're about to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. And you know what that means?"
Her eyes are still on my fingers as she softly shakes her head.
"That means we can start decorating the bedroom…buying the clothes…picking the name"
A small smile plays at her lips, but the worry is still written all over her face. "Come on, Princess. Talk to me"
"It's just that the last time we were here…our baby wasn't real. We…we lost a baby, and I don't think I'd cope if-if it happ-" she broke off with a sob.
"Ohh Princess!" I scooped her up into my arms "that's not going to happen, baby. It's not. The hospital told me you were expecting. Our baby really is in there-" I press my hand to her belly "-cooking away"
"Do you promise Edward?"
You can't promise
"Do you? Edward?"
"I promise, baby"
Those damn big, sad, beautiful brown eyes.
"That'll be Dr Granger." I say, making my way to the door. "Up here!" I yell down.
"You gave him a key?" Bella hisses.
"Well…I had to. What if there was some emergency? I don't want to have to leave you to open the door!"
She sighs, shakes her head but says no more.
"Morning all" Dr Granger makes his way into the room.
Dr Andrew Granger MD, is 37 years old. He's got a wife of 12 years, a girlfriend of 3 years, two legitimate children and one illegitimate child. When staying with his girlfriend he tells the wife he's catching up with old college buddies. If he wants to sleep over with her, he tells the wife he's too drunk to drive. His wife knows exactly what is going on, but is way past caring. She's too induced in her pain killer addiction. He drives a fancy Mercedes, owns a yacht, and subscribes to 'fishermen monthly'…yet, he was willing to throw it all away at the drop of a hat when I waved cash under his nose.
"How's Mom today?" he asks, setting his medical bag down and beginning to root through it.
"Good" he mutters, more to himself, as he slips on some plastic gloves "Okay Bella, I'm ready when you are"
"Okay" she whispers to herself, psyching herself up "okay, let's do this!"
I tried not to laugh at her but I'm pretty sure she saw my smirk.
The doctor began by taking note of her blood pressure. I was pleased to see that she was perfect, just a little bit dehydrated. I made a point to go and get her some water right there and then.
"Have you felt any movement from the baby yet, Bella?"
"Erm…of kind of fluttering movement, but I wasn't sure if it was my imagination"
The doctor started laughing before he caught my glare. "No Bella. That fluttering feeling is quite common and a good sign.
"Okay, shall we get on with the scan? Remember this'll be cold" he said, as he squirts the gel over her belly. Bella flinches and reaches for my hand again. Her eyes never leave the little screen even though the doctor hadn't started the scan yet.
"Okay, you ready?" Bella nods enthusiastically, clearly having forgotten her earlier anxieties.
"right…" he starts moving the wand over her stomach. After a few seconds the blurry screen morphed into a little (I'm not going to lie) alien baby thing. He or she was the most amazing and beautiful thing I have ever seen.
"And here is your baby." he points to the screen but I think we'd both guessed that. "a good strong heartbeat. Your baby's looking good, Mom. You guys want to know the sex, right?"
"yes!" Bella says before I can even open my mouth. Even I have to laugh at her enthusiasm.
"okay…" he starts messing around with the screen, pressing buttons and humming to himself. "congratulations you guys, looks like your about to have a beautiful, healthy baby boy"
Fuck, I can't breathe.
A/N: Go forth my friends, and review ;)
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