Demon Hunter vs. Slayer

Summary: **Member of The 'We Hate Xander' Club series** Xander decides to come clean about his true identity when Kendra shows up in Sunnydale. WARNING: Anti-Uber!Xander.

Challenge: do I really need one to bash Xander?

Timeline: season 2 'What's My Line?'

Warning: see above. He really comes off like a pig in this.

Thanks to my betas: nope.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.


When Xander saw there were two Slayers, he finally snapped. Buffy, he could deal with 'cause she was a hottie, and it was easy to picture her stripping for him instead of saving his ass from vampires. Ahh, the beauty of fantasies. Kendra – while sort of a hottie in her own way – was more intimidating…more about the 'duty' of being a Slayer.

Hearing them argue about whether emotions were a good thing or a bad thing for Slayers was just so…girlish. What idiot thought it was a good idea to make girls the protectors of humanity? "Please," he scoffed, "If either of you were even half the hunter I am, whatever this dark power that Kendra came here for would already be taken care of."

Because of her training, Kendra didn't reply to his accusation. A quick study of her stance, however, made her displeasure clear to everyone. Buffy wasn't hampered by the 'don't talk to boys' rule – although she was thinking about making an exception in Xander's case. But his case would be a 'don't talk to idiots' rule.

"Going out on patrol with me a few times and you suddenly think you're Van Hellsing?" she asked jeeringly. "This from the guy who brought a flashlight to a place crawling with vampires and not a stake?"

"I didn't want to reveal my history to you, so I pretended to be a goof," Xander replied defiantly. "I've been trained to fight vampires and demons since I was five."

The blonde just quirked an eyebrow at that. "Uh-huh, and the huge vamp population when I got here? How do you explain that, Mr. Vamp Hunter, extraordinaire? Or the trouble you had slaying Jesse? Don't tell me that was just because he was your best friend. You were lucky that he was pushed into the stake you were holding."

"Just because I was trained, didn't mean I had to do it. There are other hunters to fight them. I'd take out any that got in my way," he said a touch defensively.

That statement caused Kendra's head to snap up. If what he said about being trained from a young age was true, he was squandering his gifts and talents, which meant people were dying unnecessarily! Buffy's flippant attitude towards slaying was bad enough, but at least she trained and patrolled. Maybe not to the standards that Kendra's Watcher would have expected, yet Mr. Giles did not seem overly upset at Buffy's record. To be fair, she had already killed two of the more infamous Master vampires in the Watchers' journals.

"You are a disgrace," she spat out, forgetting she wasn't supposed to talk to boys. "Unfit to fight alongside a Slayer!"

Xander scoffed again, "Yeah right, I could fight you both at the same time!" He moved so that he was in between the two girls, facing Kendra.

While he was busy sneering at the Jamaican Slayer, Buffy semi-calmly reached over to the checkout counter and picked up a heavy book, swinging it just hard enough to knock Xander out cold.

"What did you do that for?" cried Willow, rushing over to make sure he was okay.

Kendra answered for her Slayer-sister, giving Buffy a rare smile, "A true warrior is always prepared for an attack at any time from any direction."

A/N: Sorry, an IM convo about Xander being some big shot hunter stirred Musie up again…and she was sooooo close to letting the Xander-bashing go for a while.