N.A.: I'm seriously not sure where this one came from. I was somewhere on my way home from practice, some weird music on my Ipod, and a part of this plot came to my head. It was like one of those annoying pop up windows, but who said I could just turn it down or ignore it? The plot grew bigger and the need to write it became way too strong. This is the final result of some sleepless nights, a lot of brain damage and some awesome arguments (between me and Densetsu-san).

Some important considerations: A.U. fiction; Konoha is a city from Japan, so are Suna, Kiri and Ame; Even if the fiction is placed in Japan, the monetary unit will be the American Dollar (it would be too troublesome to convert everything to Yen); human!Kyuubi (gender explanation in the bottom of the chapter); NaruSasuNaru (no difference between dominant/dominated during the whole fiction, there will only be a defined physical top in the later chaps); physically, please picture Itachi as Lily's Itachi and not Kishimoto-sensei's Itachi (if you don't know Lily's Itachi, please google it. She's an awesome artist with an amazing view of Itachi).

General Warnings: This is a yaoi fiction, so it will have a lot of explicit male/male goodness, including sex on the later chapters. Don't like it, don't read it.

Disclaimer: If I was the owner of Naruto, Itachi would be alive and Naruto would have already showed Sasuke why he is still after him. None of this happened, so I'm not the owner of the series.

Plot-beta: by my dear and lovely and amazing Densetsu-san. Half of this fiction belongs to him!

Beta: by N.V.9 Revision: by RmeGamr

No further rambling, enjoy the reading.

Oh Shit!
|By Akira-kun|

Chapter one: I'm straight, damn it, I'm straight! Am I?

Ahh, this was just not happening to me! It couldn't be! You know when you wake up in the morning, see the bright blue sky through your window and think 'this will be a beautiful day'? Well, this was the exact opposite! It was Saturday night, dinner time, and Hell was breaking loose. This was bad, really bad, beyond bad!

You're a little lost, huh? Let me explain what's happening from the beginning.

So, I woke up early and thought it would be a great day to go swimming - see, I'm on Konohagakure's college swimming team, I'm damn good and I love it. I got up and dressed, went out of my room and down to the kitchen for breakfast. My mom was there and her expression was terrible. I gulped. You've got no idea what it's like to have Namikaze Kushina pissed off at you. I put a smile on my face and tried to run out of the kitchen before she noticed me. Obviously, I failed.

"Where do you think you're going without breakfast?" she asked, looking mad at me. I turned on my heels and sat in the nearest chair. "Is this the day that everyone is leaving this house without eating or talking to me?"

"Hmm, where's dad?" I asked in a low tone of voice. Really, you guys have no idea how freaky my mom can be. And I think I should stop asking about my dad when she's clearly pissed at him.

"In the office!" she snarled, putting - or should I say throwing - a plate with pancakes in front of me. "It's Saturday and he's in the damn office! I bet he doesn't even remember we are having Mikoto's birthday party after lunch!"

"We're going to the Uchiha's?" I inquired, my eyes going wide. And this was the moment my day started to go bad.

Let me pause here to tell you a little story. My dad met Mikoto-san when they were nine or ten years old in a violin class. They grew up together, lived life together, went to the same college, etc, etc, etc, best friends since ever, you see? Hell, Mikoto-san was the one who introduced my mom to my dad and who in the world would have guessed that someone so calm, collected, and highly perceptive like dad would end up marring someone so fired up and loud like my mom? Anyway, dad and Mikoto-san were best friends and it equaled to spending a lot of time together. With marriage and kids that didn't change. The difference was that instead of being only the two of them together, it was everyone in both families.

There was just a little problem in this family/friendship: their kids hated each other! For example: I just hate, hate, hate, Sasuke. Oh God, I hate him so much with his always stoic face and I'm-so-much-better-than-you attitude and those "hn" sounds he thinks is an answer for any question or thing. Plus, Sasuke and I are rivals in pretty much everything. He's in most of my classes, so we battle over the highest grades; he's on the swimming team, so we fight to be faster than the other; we had piano lessons together, so well, you have an idea. And, fuck, he has all of the female population in town after him. I think he even has a fan-club. It's not like I don't have girls after me, because I do - come on, I'm a blond with blue eyes, a drop-dread body and a dazzling smile. Of course I have girls after me. But it's freaking annoying to be with a female friend and she suddenly starts drooling because the bastard showed up. And the worst thing is that, because Sasuke and I were forced to be in the presence of each other since birth, our parents think we're friends. And that sucks!

Where was I? Oh yeah, mom told me we were going to spend the afternoon and part of the evening with the Uchiha's. Which means I'll be forced to deal with Sasuke. Bah! That killed my good mood. Anyway, I finished breakfast and went to the college swimming pool as fast as I could. Mom was still in a bad mood and I didn't want to get in trouble because of anything that may upset her. Like finding old instant ramen bowls in my room.

I swam for over an hour and a half, headed back home and thanked god that dad was already there. Mom looked normal again, making me sigh in relief. The last thing I needed was being stuck at the Uchiha's, dealing with Sasuke, and having my mom in one of her moods. Or so I thought, because that would be better than what was actually happening.

Right after lunch, we went to Mikoto-san's birthday party. The good thing about the Uchiha family is that being the owners of a famous corporation - Sharingan Corp. - they know a lot of people and a lot of those people's kids were friends of mine. Sakura, Ino, Kiba and Shikamaru were there and I joined them immediately. Yay, no Sasuke-dealing until dinner time, when everyone would go home except the Namikaze family that would stay for dinner. Sakura and Ino passed all the time talking about something futile like the last Vogue edition, how 'Sasuke-kun looks awesome in those cloths' - a quote from Sakura - and if they should buy another pair of Louboutin shoes. Sakura's dad was Konoha's Hospital director and Ino's parents owned this huge flower company that was worldwide famous, so the girls were rich enough to discuss Louboutins. And I know what Louboutins are because Sakura almost smashed my head against the nearest wall when I asked her about the damn things. For that reason, Kiba, Shikamaru, and I spent the time chatting about the next swimming competition - Kiba was on the team too – and what we were suppose to do two weeks from now, when summer vacation started.

Everything went particularly smooth until Itachi - Sasuke's older brother - showed up incredibly mad, passing trough the people present in a flash and locking himself in the house's office. Luckily almost no one saw him, but it certainly caught my attention. Itachi is always serene and thoughtful and he controls all of his emotions perfectly. After all, he's a genius. He can also be very, very cold when he needs to be. Itachi also happens to be the CEO of Sharingan Corp. Mikoto-san used to be the Executive Director of the corporation, but she decided that it would be good to let her oldest and prodigy son to deal with the main business, so she nominated him CEO three years ago, after he turned twenty-one. Mikoto-san is still the owner of the Sharingan Corp., but Itachi is the one who deals with everything.

So, seeing Itachi furious was something that disturbed me a little, but I ignored it. Well, at least until everyone left the party and I was stuck in the Uchiha's living room with a grumpy Itachi and a bastard named Sasuke. I huffed, because my day was just getting worse. Our parents were blatantly ignoring the three of us, which did nothing to lift my mood. My dad and Fugaku-san - Sasuke and Itachi's dad - were discussing certain Konoha problems. Being the Mayor and the Chief of the Police Force, they just had the urge to do so. On the other side of the room, Mom and Mikoto-san were chatting enthusiastically about something I couldn't figured out, not that I wanted to.

"Are you sure you're ok?" I heard Sasuke asking his brother in a whisper. Ok, Sasuke was a bastard, but he was a bastard that loved his brother and was or even more so disturbed by Itachi's mood then I was. The older one must have nodded, because Sasuke continued. "Mom already told you that you don't need to be here for dinner if you're not feeling ok."

"I'm perfectly fine, Sasuke, thank you." Wow, I really didn't know how Itachi was able to sound so controlled when he was visibly about to lose it. For a couple of years I firmly believed Itachi was an emotionless robot. I really did! Until the day I saw him snap because of- "I'll get it!" he said when the bell suddenly rang, getting up and heading to the door. It was about seven seconds until Itachi's voice made my parents and the Uchiha couple freeze in their spots and look at the door, worried. Sasuke only hid his eyes with one of his hands and shook his head negatively. My day was steadily getting worse by the minute. "Namikaze, what are you doing here?"

"Well, duh, it's obvious that I'm here for my godmother's birthday dinner. And drop the formalities, Tachi-chan, we're not in the meeting room anymore." Remember me saying that I thought Itachi was a robot until the day he snapped? Well, it was because of her. "Or are you still mad at me because I got the deal with Byakugan Inc. and you didn't? Just admit it! Hiraishin kicked Sharingan Corp. again."

"Dear Lord, here we go." I heard my dad say before he started running to the door. "Kyuu, stop messing with Itachi!"

Ok, time for another pause.

Did I mention that I have an older sister? Yeah, that's right. I have an insane older sister. Her name is Kyuubi, but she hates it, so we just call her Kyuu. She's four years older than me - a couple of months younger than Itachi - and guess what? She's the CEO of Hiraishin, my dad's old company. He left the company to her when he decided to run for Mayor. Hiraishin is the main rival of Sharingan Corp. and Kyuu-nee is always, always, clashing against Itachi! Remember how I said that Sasuke and I were rivals and hated each other? Forget it! We love each other when compared to what goes on between our older siblings. It's just impossible to have Itachi and Kyuu-nee in the same room without an attempt of murder.

"Weren't you working late today?" I heard my dad asking and the door closing. Itachi was back in the living room, even more pissed then he was when he left. This was going to suck so hard!

"I was supposed to but, you know, it's Mikoto's birthday; plus, your daughter is so amazing that she got the most awesome deal ever with Byakugan Inc." So added to the fact that there is so much hate between Kyuu-nee and Itachi, my insane sister also makes a habit to piss him off every chance she gets. According to Kakashi - the Vice-director of Hiraishin, dad's great friend, and Kyuu-nee's right hand and boyfriend - my sister is a bitch when she wants to be one. Hell, I certainly know what it's like to deal with her when she wants to get you. And it hurts like Hell. Trust me, don't mess with Namikaze Kyuubi! "I got out earlier and thought it would be nice to come here to say 'happy birthday' to my godmother."

Dad didn't say anything more and he re-entered the living room with my sister by his side. Kyuu-nee hugged Mikoto-san, smiled and said 'good evening' to Fugaku-san, kissed mine and Sasuke's cheeks - and he got all flushed! He soooo has a crush on her! I'm sure of that, believe it! - and sat, wanna guess where? Exactly! And you know that she just had to sit right next to Itachi while slipping him a sly smile. Did I mention Kakashi says that Kyuu-nee is a bitch? I think the reason Itachi wasn't running after Kyuu-nee with a knife in his hand was because it was his mother's birthday.

Our parents resumed their conversations, with Dad keeping a close eye on my sister, and the tension in the room seemed to disperse a little. We sat at the dining table a couple of minutes later, when the old governess announced the food was ready and it looked like it would be a slightly calmer dinner.

Until Fugaku-san opened his mouth, of course.

I really believe that he didn't mean to create the chaos that followed because Fugaku-san doesn't deal with the Sharingan Corp. at all. But he was a dad who was worried with his perfect son's not-so-perfect mood and, trying to take him out of that, he asked "How was your meeting today, Itachi?"

Obviously, it wasn't his son who answered him.

"Oh, don't ask him that, Fugaku. I'm sure Tachi-chan doesn't want to remember that he lost thousands by not closing the deal with the Byakugan Inc." Seriously, I'm scared of my sister! None of my parents are mean like that, plus, she's not afraid at all of the Uchiha glare. And, trust me, that glare can kill.

And so it started: the arguing. Itachi replied to Kyuu-nee and she replied back again. And they kept going on and on and on with that, always in the most controlled and business-meeting voice tone. It creeps the hell out of me when they do that. I swear I was expecting to see one of them snap, grab a knife and massacre everyone in the room. To be honest, if Itachi actually did that I wouldn't blame him.

The problem is: when you've known someone your entire life, you know too much about that someone. And when you know too much about the other person you're arguing with, the discussion always ends in a complete different subject and involving other people - usually Sasuke and I.

For that reason, when I-don't-know-how my name and that gay strip-club came out, I felt that dying wouldn't be so painful. Let me explain some points here: first, the reason I went to the gay strip-club was because it was my birthday, I was drunk, Kyuu-nee was taking care of me and she truly believes I'm a gay boy in denial, no matter how many times I have already told her that I had sex with girls and enjoyed it; second, Kiba was supposed to prevent my perverted sister to do something like that to me, but like almost all my male friends he has a crush on Kyuu-nee, so he was like a little puppy at her heels; and third, Sasuke was there. That just made my night and gave me something with which I could blackmail the bastard later. Yes, blackmail! I was there because my sister got me drunk and took me, but what was his excuse? If he said something, his parents would be mad at him and mine would only be mad at my sister. Well, that was my theory. And I said was because the way mom and dad were looking, eyes wide open, at me only proved that they didn't care about the fact that Itachi just accused Kyu-nee of taking me to the gay strip-club. The real problem was me being there.

I. Was. Just. Beyond. Screwed!

- Kukuku -

"Wait, let me get this right. Your sister took you there but your parents were pissed at you?" Kiba was still laughing his lungs off. Great friend he was, here I am suffering and he's mocking me and laughing his ass off. Stupid prick!

"They were not pissed because of the gay strip-club, they were pissed because I was drunk!" I yelled angrily, drinking some of the beer I had in my hand. Leave it to Kiba to have alcohol at home, even if we're still underage.

"Which was your sister's fault too," Shikamaru yawned, half asleep on the couch.

"How did you get out of there anyway?" Kiba asked and I felt my cheeks beginning to blush. Now that was embarrassing. "Because my mom would beat me alive if I was in your position."

"Well, I kind of ran away." I murmured, scratching the back of my head in a visible nervous signal. Obviously neither of them was happy with that answer and they just stared, waiting for me to continue. Damn! "Gah! I used Sasuke to get out of there!"

"How?" And Kiba just had to ask didn't he?

"He said something about needing to go somewhere and I pretended to tag along." I confessed. Damn, using the bastard for escaping my parents only worked when Kyuu-nee was around. And that was only because that crazy sister of mine always found a way to justify why I was going with Sasuke. And I seriously didn't want to know what insanities she made up.

"Sasuke didn't argue with that?" Shikamaru questioned, looking at me. Of course he argued, but he knew that if he didn't allow me to tag along, his parents would have found out about the damn gay strip-club too.

"He just said 'whatever'. Can we change the subject, please?" Sasuke was never an interesting matter.

However, it was interesting that he tried to run away the moment that gay strip-club was mentioned. I never actually asked him what he was doing in there, because I always thought he would be there for the same reason I was: dragged by someone. The thing is, I don't see Sasuke as a gay guy. Or strait, for the matter. Sasuke is just... non-sexual at all. It's a little weird to think of him as a sexually active person. Sure he has all the girls in college after him, but he never showed any kind of interest in them. The only girl he deals with is Hinata and it's only because: a) she's the oldest daughter of an important family that does business with the Sharingan Corp. and b) because Hinata never looked at him like all the other girls. Gah, I was curious! And me being curious equals me doing all kind of crazy shit to indulge my curiosity.

Damn it!

. x .

It was ten past eleven that evening when I left Kiba's place. I was praying for my parents do be already asleep or my sister to be home, otherwise I was screwed. I had my earphones on and a rock classic blowing in my head when I passed in front of my favourite coffee shop, on the other side of the road. I thought about going in and grabbing something to eat or just to talk a little with Lee, who worked there, but something that I saw made me freeze in the spot. Looking at the inside of the shop through the window, in a table at a corner, I saw my dear sister and none other than Sasuke. And he was talking to her like I never saw him talking to anyone. He was really speaking a lot!

Five minutes of that and I was feeling dizzy. What the Hell? Since when did my sister become friends with Sasuke? Ok, they exchanged some words when they met in the family dinners or whatever, but exchanging some words was definitely not what was happening right there! Two minutes later and I saw Neji, Hinata's cousin, approach them. Sasuke looked at him before attacking Kyuu-nee with the Uchiha deathly glare, which she ignored perfectly - seriously, how did she do that?! - Kyuu-nee got up, giving her seat to Neji, who joined Sasuke at the table. If I wasn't shocked by what I was seeing, with my eyes focused on Sasuke - who looked pissed - and Neji - who looked amused - I would have realized that Kyuu-nee was already out of the coffee shop. But I was only slapped back to reality when my insane ring tone for my sister - a lot of people yelling like crazy and someone crying out loud 'Run for your lives! Kyuubi strikes back!' started to scream in my jeans pocket.

"I can't believe you still have that childish ring-tone, Naruto!" her voice was perfectly controlled when I picked up the phone. I gave her a grin when our eyes met. "Come to this side of the street. I have my car here and I'll take you home."

Maybe I wasn't very clear until now. Yes, my sister is insane, and yes, I'm scared of her 99% of the time, but I love her a lot! She's like my best friend and I know I can talk about anything with her. Plus, I trust her with my life.

So, being in the car with her was the only moment of the day that I knew we could talk without problems or the risk of our parents hearing us. It was in one of these ordinary car drives that I told her about my first kiss - not the accident with Sasuke when we were twelve, ew, the real one; that I asked about girls; I told her about my first time - believe it or not, she was the first person I told about that; I confessed about my love for Theatre and Graphic Arts; we discuss my college options, etc. Car rides with Kyuu-nee always equals to deep conversations and this one was not an exception.

"Why were you with Sasuke?" I asked, breaking the silence. She opened a ghostly smile.

"It's normal for Sasuke to come to me for an opinion." she said simply, her silver foxy eyes fixed on the road. "With the brother that he has, I'm a much better choice for a nice talk."

"About what?" Another thing about my rides with Kyuu-nee: she always, always, shocks me with something she says.

"Sex." see what I'm saying?

"WHAT?!" I yelled, completely surprised. "Why in Hell do you talk about sex with Sasuke? He's supposed to be asexual!"

"Are you sure we're talking about the same Sasuke?" she questioned, her eyes meeting mine for a brief second. "Because Uchiha Sasuke is anything but asexual. He had sex before you did."

"WHAT?!" sometimes I really wish I could just shut up instead of talking with her. She damaged my brain-cells permanently. "How did you know that?! And I was sixteen! How in Hell did he-"

"In the Summer before your sixteenth birthday and I know that because he told me." Kyuu-nee has the ability to surprise me anytime, any way. Sasuke told her about his sex-thing? At the age of sixteen and before me? She's my sister, not his! And of course, I forgot to mention that Kyuu-nee is able to read thoughts. "Don't be a baby, Naruto. Have you seen his brother? Can you imagine Sasuke asking Itachi about sex? I'm a much safer option than Tachi-chan."

Ok, let me breath for a second and arrange my thoughts. My sister was not only being an amazing sister to me, but she was doing Itachi's job as well. Great! Now I had to fight Sasuke for my sister's attention as well! Oh, that fucking prick! Why can't he ask about sex to his own brother? Why did he need to steal my sister? I'm so going to beat the hell out of him the next time I see him.

"Why was Sasuke in the gay strip-club when you took me there?" I caught myself asking. If she knew about his sex life, she sure knew about the club thing.

"Same reason as you: someone got him drunk and dragged him there." Kyuu-nee smiled slyly and giggled next. "Someone named Anko, you know?"

"Itachi's crazy girlfriend?!" Why in Hell?!

"It was a nice gentlemen's night in that club and I told Anko I was taking you. So she thought it would be nice to take Sasuke as well. Gay strip-clubs are always a nice experience." In what world does my sister and that perverted snake Anko ive in? Taking straight teenage boys to a gay strip-club is not a nice experience!

"Kyuu-nee!" I exclaimed, showing my unpleasantness. "You can't do that! Some day you and Anko will traumatize us!"

"Oh come on, Naruto, I took you to a gay strip-club. It's not like I took you to a gay whorehouse and forced you to have gay sex!" Gah! She's trying to kill me! "And that would have been an easier and faster way of showing that you like cock too."

"I'M STRAIGHT! I HAD SEX WITH GIRLS AND LIKED IT! I'M FUCKING STRAIGHT, KYUUBI!" I snapped. Seriously, my sister has this amazing capacity of making people go crazy at her.

"I said 'too', which means you're bi. Trust me, I know it." her voiced didn't raise an octave. Damn! "And don't call me Kyuubi!"

"And how do you know that?" It was an amazingly good question. If she just knew I was bi, how did she know that?

She parked the car in front of our parent's house and sighed, letting her hands fall to rest in her lap before looking seriously at me. And that look made me shiver. I never liked whatever came out of her mouth after that look.

"You had three girlfriends, you slept with the three of them, but you never had a hot night. You always had sex with them in the morning, because it's easier for you to perform, and being a little sleepy so you can't concentrate properly on the other person, am I wrong? Sometimes you'll do it in the afternoon, maybe? After a long time without doing it?" Didn't I tell you that I would hate what she was about to say? Damn! She was right, damn freaking right. But I like sex better in the morning, that's it. It can't mean that I like men too, right? "Plus, you do get excited when you have too much physical contact with males. For example, when you fight with someone, when you have rugby games, when-"

"Shut up!" I yelled, feeling suddenly sick. How did she know that? How in Hell did she know about something that I never told her? I covered my mouth with my hand and closed my eyes.

"Naru-chan, I'm not saying that you have to go and fuck a guy." she murmured, her hand caressing my hair softly. "I just want you to know this about yourself now, so you do not screw everything up in case a guy you may love shows up some day. So you can feel ok with yourself when your attraction leaves your subconscious and you become aware of that."

I hugged her, burying my face on her neck, feeling her blood-red hair tickling my nose. I had the best sister in the world. Crazy and sometimes creepy, but definitely the best! Her words hit me hard. If it was any other person to say that to me, I probably would just ignore them. But it was my sister, my best friend and the only person I would trust with everything in the world. And if there was one thing I had learned in all my life it was that when Namikaze Kyuubi says something, the probability of that being right was higher than 90%.

I don't know how long I hugged her. Kyuu-nee always loved physical ways of showing affection, so she just let me stay there. She kissed my head, and stroked my spiky hair slowly before she decided that she had been a nice sister long enough.

"Now that you know you're gay, can you please jump Sasuke so I can win my bet with Anko?" GAH!


- Kukuku -

One of the worst things you can have is a mother with a proximity sensor. Really, I don't know how it works, but my mom just knows when Kyuu-nee or I are around. And when you're trying to sneak into your room without anyone noticing you, it sucks.

"Naruto!" damn! I was almost at my bedroom door when I heard her calling me. It didn't matter that Kyu-nee was trying to get her attention, when mom's sensor rang, she just knew I was home. "Come down here!"

Oh man, I was so screwed. She was about to start lecturing me about the drinking and blah blah blah when it was not even my fault! I entered the living room, feeling my parents eyes fixed on me and sighed. I was just hoping that they wouldn't punish me too hard. Mom and dad were sitting on the sofa and Kyu-nee was somewhere near the window, her back turned to us. She's always like this, makes the trouble and ignores the consequences.

"Yes, Mom?" I asked, trying to smile. But it's damn difficult to do so when you have Kushina's bad mood directed at you.

"Was it true what Itachi said?" she questioned and I mentally killed Itachi for being an ass with no brain when arguing with my sister. "Did you go to a gay club and get drunk?"

"Well, actually, I got drunk and then, went to the gay club." what? It was true! "But it was Kyuu-nee's fault! She was the one who-"

"You are nineteen, Naruto! You can't get drunk! And you sure shouldn't let your sister give you drinks!" my mom really didn't understand that Kyuu-nee didn't give me drinks. She literally opened my mouth and forced the liquids down my throat. And don't think that I'm a kid because of that, Kyuu-nee is way shorter and leaner than me - I'm 5 feet 10 and she's only 5 feet 2 - but she's a master in Taijutsu. She can kick anyone's ass in a matter of seconds and without breaking her high heels.

"Have you even met your daughter?" I asked, receiving a glare from my mom. Dad was too silent for my liking. He sure let mom do all the talking, but he was too quiet. "If Kyuu-nee wants me drunk, she gets me drunk. End of story."

"And why would she want you drunk?" did I tell you how my sister just says things without actually thinking about the consequences?

"Because that was the only way I could drag him to the gay club without him trying to escape me." she said, her grey eyes still fixed outside the window, arms crossed over her chest. "And being nineteen, Naruto needed to get drunk and know about the gay culture. It was about time!"

"And why is that?" Kyuu-nee talks too much, mom is too suspicious, and dad was starting to get green. Not good! "Can't you let your brother to be a straight teenage boy?"

"Who says he's straight?" she questioned in a low tone and looked to my mom over her shoulder. I'm going to kill her. I'm so going to kill her! "You think you know your kids, Kushina, but you've got no idea."

"Kyuu, enough!" Dad finally said something, but the damned sly smile on my sister's lips wasn't gone. Since she was a little kid, Kyuu-nee always fought with mom. Their personalities don't match and they're always arguing about different points of view. Kyuu-nee rarely called her mom. "I don't like when you say those things, plus, that's not what this conversation was about. Why did you get Naruto drunk?"

"He's nineteen. Kakashi got me drunk when I was fourteen. I think it was fair that I waited five years to introduce your younger kid to some wonders of life." she smiled again, turning around to face dad. Seriously, Kyuu-nee had so much respect for dad that it still amazes me. "And I got him drunk, dad, I didn't give him drugs or force him to enter an orgy."

"That's not the point, Kyuu. Your brother is underage and it's illegal what you did." Dad looked too calm, but the way he was staring at my sister, I knew something wrong was going on. The thing is I just couldn't figure out what. "I'm the Mayor, I can't have my younger kid caught drunk in a gay club. And Naruto has years to know what alcohol is about. Just because Kakashi is insane and got you drunk at a very young age when I wasn't in town, it doesn't mean you can do something like that to your brother."

"Are you afraid that he'll become like me?" ok, stop! What the Hell was this all about? Dad was suddenly mad, Mom was furious and Kyuu-nee was playing weird cards. "Afraid that Naruto may rebel? After all, that's why you never let him do a quarter of the things I did."

"Kyuubi!" Mom yelled and Kyuu-nee's grin grew bigger.

"Naruto, go to your room, please." Dad said and I opened my eyes wide. What was she doing? "We are going to forget about the drinking and the gay club, but don't do that again. Now leave, we have something to discuss with your sister."

I thought about arguing with that, but the way Kyuu-nee looked at me made me turn around and go to my room. I didn't know what that was about and it was a shock to me. My parents were afraid of something? Something that Kyuu-nee did? Something that I might mirror? But what?! She was the perfect child any parent could ask for! She's a genius, she's beautiful, she was the CEO of Hiraishin at the age of twenty, she's a successful business woman and she's always kicking the asses of the rival companies. She makes millions every month and she's extremely loyal to dad. So why in the fucking Hell would my parents worry about me following her footsteps.

I laid down on my bed, facing the dark ceiling. There was something wrong and I needed to know what. My parents and sister were hiding something from me and I wanted to know what it was. I couldn't call Kakashi, because he would tell Kyuu-nee. Those two have the weirdest relationship ever. Anko and Kyuu-nee's other friends would ignore me. Kurenai-san, Kyuu-nee's secretary, would never tell me anything. Itachi was not an option: I don't want to die at my sister's hands. I sighed. There was no way I could find out what that conversation was. However, the fact that my perfect sister had done something that was able to creep my parents out was something that kept hammering in my brain for the rest of the night.

A few minutes after that, I was about to give up finding a way to discover the problem between my parents and sister, and call Kiba to talk about nothing when I heard a chat receiving message noise on the computer in the office when I was on my way back to my room. I thought that I had forgot to put it offline - and it would be a problem if Kiba was messaging about the beers or girls or whatever and Mom happened to read it - so I got up and went to the next room to close the chat. The problem was: it wasn't my chat account that was on. It was Kyuu-nee's. And the bigger problem was that it was Sasuke's nickname and e-mail address who was trying to talk to her.

"What the fuck?" I cursed, looking at the monitor. Not that I was interested in what the Hell Sasuke had to say to my sister, but it was weird and I was curious. So I sat in the chair and read what he had already said.

Raven: K, are you there?

Raven: Hn, you're not. I need to talk to you, please call me when you see this. N and I broke up. It wasn't working at all. And what the hell did you say in your 'private talking'?

Raven: And I need more details about that swimming special camp you told me about. I'm definitely going! I can't handle my dad right now. He's still pissed that I sold my part of the company to Itachi. I need to get out of here for a while.

Raven: Anyway, good night.

"What the fuck?!" I repeated, staring at the monitor. Sasuke had a girlfriend? And what swimming special camp?! And why was my sister getting a special swimming camp for Sasuke and not for me? Gah! I got mad! Really mad. She was my sister, not Sasuke's!

And suddenly, some bell rang in my brains. Sasuke didn't trust anyone. And if he trusted my sister, that means they were friends in some way. And, for them to be friends, Sasuke needed to know stuff about Kyuu-nee's life. So, there was a small chance that he would know about the main reason of that discussion my parents were having with Kyuu-nee, and I wanted to know. I wanted it so bad that I was willing to pass through my pride and go talk with Sasuke.

And, fuck it, that was exactly what I did.

- Kukuku -

Remember when I said that mine and Sasuke's parents thought we were friends and that sucks? Forget that. Because when it's past eleven at night and you show up at the Uchiha's door smiling and asking for Sasuke, it's very, very cool that no one asks you what the Hell you are doing at their house at that time. And it's even better when Mikoto-san even asks if you want some tea before you go up to the bastard's room. She's lovely. I don't understand how someone so lovely like Mikoto-san gave birth to an ass like Sasuke.

Anyway, I said no to the tea, smiled and went upstairs to find Sasuke's room. I did it pretty fast, even if I hadn't been there for years. Really I don't understand how our parents think we're friends. Whatever.

I knocked and there was no answer. I knocked again and heard a 'Go away!'. So, I entered the room. Of course I did that, what else do you expected me to do? Keep knocking? Call the bastard? Nah! Obviously, I wasn't counting on him laying down on the bed, bare-chested, his pyjama pants hanging low on his hips and a Edgar Allan Poe book in his hand. And it's also obvious that my dear sister's words came smashing my brains like Hell. So I took a second to actually observe. If I was bi as she said I was, I should be drooling over him. I mean if every girl in town wants him it's for a reason, right? And I had to agree that those lean muscles could do some serious damage. And the way he was breathing so calmly, his chest moving up and down and- Fuck! What am I thinking?! I saw Sasuke wearing a lot less in all our swimming classes, so why the Hell was I checking him out? My sister was affecting me! I desperately need to stop hearing what she says!

"I said, go away!" he repeated, his voice always low and harsh.

"Not without you answering something for me first." he almost jumped at my voice. His eyes narrowed at me and he sat up on his bed.

"What the fuck are you doing in my room?" so polite, so Sasuke. I was actually surprised his fist wasn't in my face yet. "Get out!"

"No! I have something to ask you." his book was abandoned on his bed as he got up, walking over to face me. I forced myself to not be bothered by his Uchiha glare. It was not the time for it.

"And who said I'm gonna answer you?"

"You were in the gay club too." see? Done! His eyes narrowed even more and he bit the interior of his lip, but it was done. I had him in the palm of my hand.

"What do you want?" he snarled a few seconds after that, black eyes still piercing mine.

"You're friends with my sister, right?" he nodded slightly and I continued. "Do you know what she might have done some years ago that could freak my parents out?"

"What kind of freak out?" he asked, and I swear I saw something illuminating in his eyes.

"Mom furious, Dad pissed off, he didn't tell me anything at all about it and sent me to my room to discuss whatever happened." I told him and Sasuke's expression became thoughtful. He didn't back off and our proximity was starting to annoying me. Damn you, Namikaze Kyuubi, damn you and your fucking ideas.

"I've got no idea what it's about." GAH! Useless Sasuke! "But Itachi is involved too." I beg your pardon?!


"My parents have the same behaviour about something Itachi did five or six years ago. No word about it near me, always making sure the subject is not mentioned" he informed me, turning around and leaning down on his desk. And that was definitely a bad idea, because his abs looked good that way and- GAH! FOCUS NARUTO! "But I never got a clue about it. They hide it too well."

"You never asked Itachi?"

"Do you think Kyuubi would tell you?" he answered me with another question and I shut up. He was right. Kyuu-nee would never tell me, so why would Itachi tell Sasuke? "It's weird that she is on it too. I always thought it was something illegal that Itachi did, but Kyuubi too? I mean, she's fucking insane, but was always a role model."

"Well, with the way my parents talked I'm not so sure about that anymore." I sighed. Sasuke didn't know anything and that frustrated me a little. And the information that Itachi was involved didn't help my curiosity at all. I wanted to know! I wanted it so badly that I actually did a stupid thing: "We should pair up and try to find out what happened!"

"Did you hit your head or are you on drugs?" stupid bastard! "I'm surprised that we're not killing each other yet and you're suggesting a partnership?"

"Don't you want to know what Itachi did?" I asked, biting my lip to not kill Sasuke.

"Yes, but it's not worth working with you." ok, that's it. I was already in the middle of the room, arm raised to hit Sasuke when 'Run for your lives! Kyuubi strikes back!' echoed around us. I froze and Sasuke's right eyebrow rose. "If I was your sister, you would be sooo dead by now."

I sent him a mad glare before taking the cell-phone from my jean pocket and answered it.

"Where the fucking Hell are you?" she interrogated, her voiced sounding furious. "I got you free from Mom and Dad and you disappear? What a nice brother!"

"Sorry, I'm at Sasuke's and-"

"Damn, Naruto, I know I told you to jump him but I wasn't counting on it to happen this fast! Well done!" did I mention how I sometimes hate my sister?

"Kyuu-nee!" I yelled at her, getting all flushed and noticing that the bastard was watching my face colour's changing. I turned around. "That's not it at all. It's something college related!"

"And it couldn't wait until tomorrow?" why was she so damn smart? "Anyway come home, I need to tell you something."

"Like what?" And that was the last rational thing I said to my sister. In the next moment I felt a hard body pressed slightly against my back and a soft breathing in my ear when Sasuke leaned forward and talked into the cell-phone. It was enough to send a shiver over my body and cause my stomach to ache in a weird new sensation. Since when did I react that way to anyone? What the Hell was happening?!

"I'm waiting for your phone call, you damned fox!" his voice was low and slightly hoarse and it sent my head in a whirl. My skin was crawling with goosebumps and I swear I could hear the blood running fast in my veins. What was he doing to me? "You made some serious damage on my relationship!"

"Uh hu, Sasu-chan is mad at me because I took his sex-toy away!" I didn't even register what she was saying. Sasuke's breathing near my ear was everything that I was focused on at that moment. Well, that and his hard abs on my back. And the way his dry lips curved slightly into a smirk. And- "I'll get you a new one, don't worry. Now, gimme back my baby brother!"

"He's all yours" he said and I swear my world got suddenly cold when his body moved away from mine. My heart started beating normally again and my breathing stabilized. What the fuck just happened?

I shook my head and put my cell-phone in my pocket again. "I need to go or she'll kill me." I said, shooting out the door, not looking back at him. I ran down the stairs, shouted a 'good night' to Mikoto-san in the living room as I ran out of the house. I entered my car and drove all the way home way faster than I should. I ran straight to my room, slamming the door and jumped into bed, burying my face in the pillow as I hugged it tightly.

Two hours earlier my sister suggests that I'm bi and I was already having weird reactions to Sasuke? Sasuke!? What was wrong with me?! Did she give me drugs or something?

"Did Sasuke's purring affect you?" and of course she was in my room!

"What have you done to me?!" I yelled, the sound muffled by the pillow. "I was perfectly straight two hours ago!"

"Sasuke's purring usually has that effect on people, don't worry." Kyuu-nee said simply, like she was talking about a manicure. "What were you doing there?"

"A freaking mistake, that's what I was doing there!" I wailed, turning my head to a side, facing her. A small smile showed itself on my lips. She always looked too cute in her too big pyjamas and a braid in her hair, falling over her left shoulder. "Whatever, what do you want?"

"Call your friends. I have a day off tomorrow and I'm going to Suna's beach. I can take you and your friends if you want." Kyuu-nee smiled and I felt calmer. "Gemna is going to, so we can take six friends of yours."

"Yeah, that would be nice." I murmured, taking a big breathe.

"And I got you into a special swimming camp with Hoshigaki Kisame as a coach." she declared. My eyes opened wide. "Interested?"

"OF COURSE!" Oh my god! Hoshigaki Kisame was the three time world champion in all styles and the owner of the actual world record of three styles! He became a coach after leaving the competition and everyone he trained was, at least, on the Olympics podium! "How did you do that?!"

"Hun, Kisame is a friend of Itachi." she said, smiling. "I'm going to confirm your name, the camp starts in four days and it's two weeks long. You'll need to skip some classes, but I'll talk to your teachers so there won't be any problems."

"You rock! Oh my god, you rock so much!" this was the best freaking thing that could ever happen to me! I jumped out of the bed and threw my arms around her neck, hugging her very, very tightly. "I love you!"

"Just one thing, honey," she giggled, giving me a kiss on my forehead "Sasuke's going too."

Oh crap.

N.A.: This is more of an introduction chapter than a plot chapter. However, it was necessary. I really like to write in Naruto's POV and I have a little crush on this fiction.

About Kyuubi being female. Although Kyuubi's voice is male in the anime, there is nothing in the manga that tells the beast's gender. In my mother language, the word for "fox" is a female noun so every time I discuss Kyuubi with my friends, it was always "she" and "her". For that reason, the first time I pictured human!Kyuubi for this fiction, I pictured a woman. I thought about changing it to a male Kyuubi, but the plot turned out to be more interesting with a female one. Blood-red hair because of Kushina - and because I can't imagine a human!Kyuubi, male or female, being blond - and grey eyes because that's Kushina's eye colour in the anime.

Hope you liked it. Next chapter soon.