A/N: I wrote this for a friend of mine, so it can only be said that this one shot is for WildImagination28. It is a lemon, so be warned.
Disclaimer: Not mine, it's Stephenie's...
I waited nervously near the bar, wringing my hands in front of me, chewing my lip to near bleeding. I couldn't believe she had agreed to meet me here, and discuss this... well, whatever it was going on with us.
My best friend of forever had leaned over and kissed me a week ago. I'm not talking about a peck on the cheek, or even a friendly press on the lips. Bella had cupped my face gently, leaned slowly, and locked lips with me. No big deal, Bella kissing girls; the big deal was Bella kissing me, and... I had let her, and even kissed her back. I perhaps may have even followed her lips when she pulled back, but then when it hit me what was happening, I ran. I grabbed my keys and my purse, and left Bella standing in the middle of her living room, calling my name. I didn't want to think about what may have occured after I took my leave.
I've always been a bad liar. Ever since we were kids, Bella had been able to call me out on the smallest of fibs, telling me that my mouth gave it away. She said when I lie, my mouth fits into a tight line that pulls up further on the left than the right. And the night she kissed me, she had asked me a quiet question, a simple yes or no would have done. "Alice... are you in love with me?" Simple yes...
But I had said no. And looking at my face carefully, Bella had sighed deeply, before taking my face into her hands and crossing the line we couldn't cross again. Bella had always been brave, bold. I was the sidekick, the Robin to her Batman. She always stood out in the crowd, her smile always dominating everything around me, her touch like a soft licking of flames on my soul... I lied to Bella when I said no. That's why she kissed me.
It felt so right. I never fell asleep that night, instead I lay there playing that moment over and over in my head, trying to imagine if it would have gone further, progressed. What would have happened? Was Bella in love with me, too? Was that why she felt the need to call it to my attention that I too thought of her as more than my best friend? That it was her in my dreams that made love to me, pushing me over the edge and back again continously? Could I admit that I'd had those dreams since I was fourteen? Could I admit what I wanted to say to her tonight?
Why couldn't it be any other girl but her? Or any guy? Just someone else? I put my face in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut at the dull throb that started at my temples. I was getting myself all worked up and she wasn't even-
"Boo." A low voice in my ear made me jump out of my skin, and I would have fallen right off the barstool if Bella didn't catch me by my upper arm and quickly balance me.
"Jesus Christ, Bella, give me a heart attack, why don't you?" I huffed, rubbing my chest over my heart, where it seemed to be beating right through my ribcage.
"Wow, you know my name," she quipped, swinging her leg over the stool next to mine, rolling her gorgeous dark eyes at me. "I thought you'd have forgotten by now, as I haven't heard from you in a year."
"It was a week," I muttered, not meeting her eyes and feeling myself turn red. I felt guilty for avoiding her.
"Still felt like a year," she muttered back, turning around to face the bar keep, who appeared in front of us. "Yeungling's? Two, please?" she asked him politely, and he backed away to get the beer.
"I'm broke, you know," I told her, and she shrugged.
"Doesn't matter, I've got you, Alice." I felt there was a double entendre to her words, but I didn't say anything to acknowledge it. Bella took my silence as a cue to keep talking. "So, I want to apologize to you for my behavior the other night. I shouldn't have done that. I'd like to say I was drunk and it meant nothing, but the truth is I was stone cold sober and it meant everything... to me." Her voice broke on the last two words, and I slowly peeled my eyes away from my heels and looked up into the most familiar place in my life, feeling something move in my chest, something painful, when I saw the tears standing sentry over her chocolate irises.
"I can't hear you deny me, Alice, so if that's what you're going to do, maybe we should just cut this short and head our seperate ways. I wanted to apologize in person, and I have. You don't have to ever see me again, if you wish."
"Bella, listen to me. I've been thinking-" I cut off, as the bar keep set two bottles of beer on the counter before us, and Bella slipped him her money, waving away the change when he tried to hand it back a moment later. "We've known each other since kindergarten," I started again as he thanked her and walked away. "You've been a constant in my life, a must have, a need. You were there when I wrecked my first bike and my first car. You are in every picture from every birthday I've ever had, even when you were just eight months old at my first birthday party! You showed me how to tie knots, and taught me how to swim when I was too scared to try." I'd never forgive her for that one, really. She'd thrown me in the deep end of the swimming pool at her house. "You were there when I jumped off the fucking cliff into a fucking swimming hole only fifteen feet deep; it was your idea, if you recall. You were there when my heart was broken for the first time in seventh grade when Jimmy Conner took Jessica Stanley to the dance instead of me. You've listened to me bitch and complain since puberty, Bella, and have never even raised your voice to me. You're so good to me. You're there when I need you, except when you have a jealous fucking girlfriend. I hate it when you have girlfriends because you're focusing on someone that isn't me, I'm not the center of your world for that moment. I get so jealous, Bella."
"I know," she told me, turning up her beer. "It's because you're in love with me." She didn't sound bitter, just matter of fact.
"You're right," I agreed, and then jumped again because the beer Bella had been holding fell to the hard wood floor below us and shattered, beer splattering everywhere.
"You heard me." I took a deep breath in an attempt to control my emotions, and faced Bella straight on. "Bella Swan, I'm in love with you. Now, I don't know when it happened, or how, but it did and now I'm stuck with this feeling like I am going to trash something beautiful if I pursue you..." My voice trailed off as Bella shook her head, her eyes wide and surprised.
"I can't believe you're admitting it that quickly," she breathed, barely sparing a glance for the guy who came over with a broom and dust pan, or the other guy with a mop bucket, before looking back at me. "This is good, Alice, I'm glad."
"I've never even thought about women in that way," I mumbled, feeling a little betrayed by my heart, since it had chosen a female to latch onto. A worthy one, though. Bella was worth it.
"Alice, I am just attracted to girls," she said, and I gave her a look like 'er, duh'. "But love knows no gender, and if you had a penis, I am sure I would feel the same way as I do now. I just got lucky that you are indeed quite female." She gave me that smile that made me feel so much I wanted to explode. "Besides... who else could you trust with your heart, if not your life long best friend, right?"
I didn't answer her. I just knew that I didn't want to push this too far and end up snapping the tightly stretched rubber band that our friendship had become with just that one soul-revealing kiss. "Alice..." A finger gently touched below my chin and tilted my face back up, so that her brown eyes could lock back onto my blue. "Don't fear it," she whispered, leaning towards me slowly again, giving me time to refuse her, just like last time. When I made no move to jerk away, she smiled softly before adding in a brush of breath across my waiting lips, "Few people find what we have." Tiny white lights exploded behind my eyelids as they slid closed and her lips tentatively touched mine, and remained motionless, waiting for my response. ...what do I do?
With a whimper of defeat, I felt my lips press against hers on their own accord, setting the gasoline soaked passion in my gut on fire. The blaze shot through my core, outwards into my limbs, and I felt my arms circle themselves around her waist and pull her closer. My mouth opened in a submissive invitation and Bella graciously accepted, and her tongue caressed mine for the first time ever, curiously and exploratively, before finding a common dance with my own. I'd completely forgotten that we were in a public place, and continued to kiss her for at least a full sixty seconds before pulling away, gasping for breath. I swallowed the lump of my heart, which was lodged directly in my larynx, and tried to speak. "Bel-" I cleared my throat, hearing the husky tone it taken on. "Bella," I tried again, feeling relief that I sounded as I always did. "Take me home with you... I want to spend the night... with you."
Bella stared at me for a second, still recovering from my earlier admission, I was sure. I knew her better than I knew myself. "Are you saying...?" she finally asked, and she trailed off at my nod.
No one had ever made love to me. I'd only ever been fucked.
I wanted my best friend to be my first in this, as well.
The ride was comfortable, silent. Both of us knew what the other was thinking, there were no need to verbalize the words our minds exchanged, or the emotions our hearts shared. It was all in the way her hand caressed mine as she drove. Her house was dark as we pulled up in the driveway some long minutes later, and I gave her a questioning look. Where was her roommate, Angela?
"She's at Ben's," Bella explained quietly, shutting off the motor. "No one is here but the two of us."
"Perfect," was all I had to say about it, thanking the gods that Angela had Ben to keep her out and about.
We walked up the path to the front door and Bella paused in the soft orange glow of the insect-repelling bulb mounted above the door. I knew she was struggling with words right now, and I knew what she wanted to say, but it was irrelevant. My heart had made up my mind for me and my body. I felt a jolt run through me as I imagined her hands on me, and I felt goosebumps rise on my arms from the aftershock.
Once we were both inside and the door was shut, I turned to face her, and I saw something I'd not seen once in our twenty-three year friendship: Bella Swan was red faced, rubbing her neck, and looking at me with a bashful stare.
"Are you sure, Alice?" she asked me, turning a deeper shade when I nodded, closing the distance between us with a few short steps. I circled my arms around her waist for the second time that evening and leaned up on the tips of my toes to kiss her. I would merely show her I was ready, if my assurances weren't enough.
I put twenty-three years of love, fear, and silence into that kiss, bearing my heart for her to feel that I wanted nothing more than her. My hands slid up her torso, around her shoulders and then dug their fingers into her long mahogany hair, pulling her face impossibly closer, my body trying to sink into hers. In the middle of this kiss, something happened.
It was like a flood gate had been released, and the water was a wall of attraction that engulfed my entire being, as I realized who it was exactly I was kissing.
"Bella." I whispered her name as her lips left mine to trail little campfires of arousal down my neck, and I turned my face into her neck to give her more room. "Please... take me to your room... and make love to me."
Her hands, rubbing lightly across the small of my back, knotted into fists of overwhelming passion at my words, and she let a small gasp of air leave her lungs as I uttered the words.
"Finally," she whispered back, and I tried to pull away from her to walk in the direction of her room, but Bella had other plans. She lifted me up onto her hips, and I crossed my ankles at her back as she carried me down the hallway to her room, kissing me all the while.
I could kiss Bella forever and never grow weary of it. It was as if she had invented the perfect kiss.
There was too much want in us to take things slow or soft. The clothes came off without either of us really noticing, with Bella kissing every inch of me she exposed I was quite distracted, and it wasn't until I felt her fingertips swipe the length of my soaked slit that I even realized we were naked. My body rocked with that first contact, my hips jerking up into her hand, making her chuckle. "You're so beautiful,"she said to me as if she were relaying top secret information. "I've seen you naked a thousand times, felt myself crumple in your perfection a thousand times... but I have never truly realized how beautiful you really are until this moment," she went on, her eyes gently sliding down my body and back up to meet my gaze.
"Thank you," I said shyly, my blush reaching my cheeks again. I reached for her, pulling her fully onto me, swallowing the groan of pleasure I felt at her comfortable weight settled where it belonged. I clung to her as I felt her tease my poor clit into attention, shaking with every touch she gave it, biting back every noise that fought to call out her name in some fashion.
She bent her face to mine again as her fingers finally stopped teasing me, and slid into me once before pulling right back out and coming up to skate across the sensitive place at the top. My thighs jerked in reaction, and I moaned into her mouth.
She pulled back with a small smirk. "You like that?" She did it again, staying there for a few moments, moving her fingers over my clit, feeling me spasm beneath her.
"Yes," I breathed, unable to break my eyes from hers, though everything in me wanted to shut them and cry out in this beautiful torture she was applying to me. My hips began to move in a circle with her hand, and I felt the tingles in my belly starting to harden into something more substantial, something alive before she extracted her hand from me completely, inserting her thigh there instead before I could whine in disappointment.
"You wouldn't last long if I lingered there," Bella told me with a cocky smile, reaching up and tangling her fingers in my messy black spikes, pulling gently, her short nails scratching my scalp teasingly. "Besides... you know how you told me you didn't see a point in oral sex? That it 'just didn't work for you'?"
I whimpered at the thrust her thigh gave against me, moaning when she pulled her knee up further, and bumped it against me. I nodded into her neck, biting down softly on a piece of flesh there, making her moan out a small chuckle. "Well, we're gonna see if we can change your opinions," she whispered, tugging at one of my nipples before moving her face down to take it in her scorchingly wet mouth. My back arched as I released a hiss, my hands pulling up on her bed sheet as she alternated between each of my nipples, not showing favortism to one nor the other.
My body had never felt this way, I'd never wanted to explode with the heat building up from my core. Sex was always a sweaty, awkward tangle of arms and legs, fighting against each other to finish some race to the finish. Bella's body fit against me, there was no racing her in movements; it was like she wanted it to last forever, and she was cherishing each second that passed between us now. There was sweat, but the smell was no where near as odorous as the boys I'd been with, nor did it make me feel like I wanted to shower immediately. I wanted Bella's scent on me. I wanted to bottle it up and carry it in my pocket. She was the picture of patience, touching me without the rushed fumbling that I'd known before, moving against me with a skill and rhythm I couldn't believe she possessed. I should have known from the many times we'd danced together that this would be amazing. But I denied that part of myself then. God, how I embraced it now.
"Bella, please," I gasped as she kissed a circle and around my belly button, her teeth tugging at the barbell impaled through the top. "I can't- please, touch me." I couldn't take it anymore, she was surely driving me to madness.
I tried to be quiet. I truly did. But when she pressed the pad of her thumb right against the part of me where my heart beat had seemed to take permanent residence, my head went back and I damn here howled with the shock of lightning that ripped through me. Bella infuriatingly pulled her hand away again, and I heard myself growl at the absence of her touch, my hands reaching for her hair, trying to push her kissing and sucking lips to the same point her thumb had just left. I wanted her to prove me wrong about oral sex, and I wanted her to prove me wrong now.
Her breath alone made me twitch horribly, and I felt a little humiliated, shaking and begging her the way I was. The things she was doing to me were new, I felt like a virgin all over again. I had to remind myself that seventeen was a long time ago.
I was an adult now. I had no curfew, as I no longer lived with my parents. There was no parent about to come crashing through the door, demanding what I was doing with their daughter. Or, rather what their daughter was doing to me, as I thrashed around desperately under her expert ministrations, whimpering and moaning piteously when she came close to where I wanted, then moved away again to kiss somewhere else. She was going to be the death of me. It was only fitting, that she be there for my first in everything, including the first and only time I would end.
"Remember, there's no point in this," I heard her say from between my thighs, her breath washing over the catalyst of all my beautifully painful pleasure.
"Shut up," I said with my jaw clenched against the noise fighting to break loose as I pushed myself into her mouth, just to prove mypoint that she shouldn't speak with her mouth full.
Good. God. Damn. Fuck. Me. I couldn't possibly fight against the cries escaping my throat, because there was no way I would be able to focus my brain to contract my throat muscles and kill any vibration coming through my larynx. When I pushed my hips up into her mouth, Bella had latched directly onto my clit with a strong suck and a tiny lick, before dipping her tongue inside of me and out again. She gave soft strokes near the top at first, but as she continued, her tongue stiffened against me and the strokes became longer as her lips came into play tugging gently at the flesh around it. With every stroke she gave, my muscles trembled in sync all over me, and I found myself reaching down for her again, feeling the need for reassurance that I was awake and this was really happening. "Bella," I said with a relieved sigh as I felt a single finger push into me, slowly. The solidification of the sensations were hardening again in the pit of my stomach, and I knew I was close.
"More?" I gasped to her, and she complied, sliding a second finger into me, and my hips jerked upwards hard, and I hoped I didn't bust her nose open with my pubic bone. She laughed, and the resulting vibration gave me three successive pangs, and her fingers started to move in and out. I couldn't hold it off much longer, not with this mutual OH MY GOD feeling against me.
"Harder?" I requested, moving my hips faster to show her. Her hand went furious, pounding me as relentlessly as her tongue ran circles around my clit simultaneously.
My toes curled, my back arched, the rock in my gut swelled even larger, and it was like Bella knew, she started moaning with me, her whole body into this wave we were rocking. It was coming, the rock had fallen, it was going to explode... I was coming. Bella had made me come harder than I ever had. And it was from an act that had never given me any sort of stimulation before this night. "Oooooooooooh god... Bella, I'm- oh god, don't stop!" I felt myself rise out of my body and hang suspended in the air above myself, glowing in a blissful ecstasy, before plunging right back into myself with a completely satisfied noise, and my body released its tense muscles, welcoming me back.
Bella was planting soft kisses around my clit, slowly working the feathery caresses back to where she was eye level with me, both of our chests heaving and shining with sweat. She brought her hand up between us, shining with evidence of passion, and pressed two of her digits to my lips. By some instinct I opened my mouth without looking away from her twinkling eyes, and she pushed them in, and I sucked them clean, closing my eyes at the tangy flavor.
"That's what I taste like?" I asked, and she smiled and shook her head, locking lips with me and brushing sweaty hair from my forehead.
"No... that was me," she informed me, and my gut gave a swoop at the words, and I felt the excitement begin again before I could recover from the first round. "I took care of us both, at the same time." She smiled, brushing her nose against mine, and then kissing me again, our tongues mingling each other's flavor.
"Bella, I could..." I trailed off at her head shake.
"It's about you tonight, Alice, not me." She rolled over on her back and pulled me onto her chest, her arm curling around me, holding me tenderly.
"Bella?" I ask, unable to contain it anymore.
"Are you in love with me?"
"Yes," she said simply, and I smiled into her chest, placing a light kiss over her heart.
My first time making love was with the only person that would ever continue to do so, for the rest of my life. I could live with that.
A/N: Thanks for reading! And stay tuned for updates on my Bellice story La Lune Bleu, and a one shot coming soon from WYTYKH! I love you guys!