She woke up screaming again. She had woken up the boy who was crying uncontrolably in the corner of the little room. He kept asking why mom would wake up that way. He told the boy just a bad dream, but he knew better. She had told him why she woke that way months ago.
"Do you rember that carnival we went to before I got pregnant? The one with the all the shitty little roller coasters?" she asked one night after she awoke and he had finally gotten the boy back to sleep.
"Not really. Why?"
"That carnival was the last big thing we did together. It was also my first roller coaster. Do you rember the ride?" she rolled over to face him, but he could barely see her in the tiny fire, " You made me go on. You said it would be fun." He could almost hear a smile in her voice.
"Oh wait I rember now. I rember you puked right after we got off and had to go home." he shifted the sleeping boy on his chest, " But we went back the next night just for the food."
"I really enjoyed that ride. I don't know why I puked, must have just been nerves." They sat in silence for a few minutes, "Thats what I dream about. Its not really a nightmare, its a good memory. I dream about it and right before it gets to the top I wake up."
But this time when she woke up she started sobbing. He tried to comfort her, but the boy was crying too. He calmed the boy down and when he got back to her she just sat in a stupor.
"I can't do this anymore. I can't take it. I'm not going to last very much longer." she said in a low voice, she just stared into the dark and sat, "I can't take another day of starving and darkness and the cold that sneaks into your bones and no matter how hard you try you just can't shake it off." Now she stood up and was lloking him straight in the eyes. He thought she was going to say something, but she didn't. She started to walk into the dark when he caught her hand.
"Please you can't leave us. Don't leave your son." he pleaded with her but she kept trying to pull her hand free, "Don't you think I feel the same way? Don't you think I'm sick of searching for something we are never going to find? Do you think your the only one?"
At this she started to cry again and he pulled her to him and he lead her back to the little camp. They all nestled together and fell asleep. The next few days were good days, she was much happier and the boy noticed this and was happy too. But this all ended days later when they came aross aa dead couple. The girl and boy couldnt have been more than 16. But there they laid dead. She started to cry and again woke up screaming that night. But this time she was different. She was walking away into the darkness when he grabbed her.
"Why won't you just let me go? Why? Do you need me to complete this perfect little family? Just let me go." her words shocked him and he let go of her and she walked further into the darkness.
"I love you! Don't go! Please we can't go on with out you. What will I tell him?" when she heard this she came running back and slapped him. She looked him up and down in disgust and slapped him again.
"You know what you can tell him? That his mother was a whore and ran off with her lover. And her lover was Death. He could hold her and make her warm like you couldn't. He made her feel like she hasn't in a while. Thats what you can tell him." she started to walk away yet again.
"Don't you believe I love you? You can't be doubting my love." he called into the darkness, this time she walked back and right up to him. He braced for another hit.
"I don't love you. I haven't in awhile. Why don't you stop loving me now? Why don't you believe what I said about Death. I want you to think of me as a whore. A whore that wronged you." with this she walked into the dark and he let her. With tears welling in his eyes he walked back to the boy, who was warming himself by the fire. He scooped the boy up in his arms and they both fell asleep. The next moring the boy didn't ask where she was. They just packed up and left, steering clear of the way she had walked.