Doubly Rude and One Ginger


Note: I love crossovers, and Doctor Who is perfect for crossovers. You can cross anything with DW. You name it, and it can work 90% of the time with DW. For now, after this, I've got my sight on a DW/HP and DW/Buffyverse. After this, of course, or maybe when I've made good headway into this story. AHH I love fanfiction. The possibilities! Fan service. It's too wonderful.

And thanks for all the support!

4: Brilliant Blond Idiot

Kushina knew she had done it. She told someone her secret. Someone beside the Hokage, the Elders and Biwako-san knew about her demonic tenant, and dear gods, she realized how much trouble she would be in if they found out she told. Now there was no going back from this. More importantly, this man who was not a man, not according to the images that she saw in her head anyways, knew this. Perhaps it was just as well he was not a man.

And when he had touched his hand to her temple—the things she saw! She lost her breath for a second: ten faces, nine deaths! The pain of each change, and the deep sadness of having to become someone else, and to know that you might not love the same thing or worse, the same people, after you had changed. Despair and sorrow washed over her as those images flashed through her mind's eyes, and she could feel that he was trying hard to filter out his emotions. She saw little of anyone else in those images. A little dissenting voice in her brain told her this could be an elaborate illusion technique, but Kushina was tired of being suspicious.

And when he told her, his brown eyes dark with pity, "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry…" Kushina was surprised. No one has ever apologized to her for being a host—for having to be a host. Not even her own mother, although she did so with her eyes, Kushina liked to think. And she would have replied "I'm sorry too" if she wasn't so caught up in her own pity and tears. She was so sorry that he had to die and change nine times, and that every time he lost a bit of everything he held dear.

"They did it here," the Doctor stated glumly, looking at Kushina with a sympathetic frown, "That's what I was seeing, wasn't it? The formula and calculation for a mass psychic and energy transfer."

Kushina nodded numbly. She had no idea what he meant by 'formula and calculation' but it seemed close enough to 'formulation of seals'. "Yes. Here. Long ago."

The Doctor knew so much but in ways as if he were just discovering them. This made sense, considering he was literally not of her world. He watched her with a sad frown—but there was something else in his expression, something dark and angry and so old. But she only saw it for the briefest moment, before he went to merely looking tired and ran his hand through his already messy brown hair.

"Why would they do this?" he asked, his voice taking on an edge of anger, "Why would they put a demon or whatnot—anything with that much destructive power in a young girl?" He paused and looked more closely at Kushina. "And why you?"

She swallowed thickly and forced out a breath, trying to calm her anxious heart. Something burned at the back of her throat. A ball of anger threatened to rise up and verbalize her anger at every injustice done to her. She wanted to scream and throw a tantrum, and tell him, the Doctor, the man who was not one of them, what they had done to her. She wanted the satisfaction of an outburst she had silenced in the name of common good, and she yearned, for the strangest reason, for the comfort of the Doctor's ire. "'Cause…'cause I'm an Uzumaki, and I'm one of five kids my age who was compatible and whose parents…didn't have the money or influence to wheedle their kid out of it."

The Doctor released an exasperated sigh at this, muttering bitterly, "Of course. That's what it comes down to. Bloody money. Currency. Worst idea in the history of reality. Well, after pure evil, that is. Well…greed would be worse too I think." He leaned forward slightly, carefully and slowly so that the aches and pains in his body didn't all simultaneously flare up. "What I do not understand first, Kushina, is the why of that why? Why kids? Why you? And why does it need to be sealed away at all? What is the nine-tailed demon fox?"

Kushina hesitated. She regarded the Doctor, who was sitting there in pain and nursing the sores she had bestowed upon him, who she didn't understand at all but at the same time she felt like she knew so well. There was that desire again, that yearning to tell him everything because she felt like he would be on her side and be angry for her because she was not allowed to be. Why she felt that was a mystery to her, but the Doctor felt like a kindred, like he could understand her monsters and be alright with it. She sensed, with good reason too, that he had experiences with all types of monstrosity and scars. It comforted her.

"That's a lot of questions…" Kushina muttered, shaking herself out of her thoughts.

The Doctor shot her a knowing half grin. "Alrighty then, let's start with this: what is the nine-tailed demon fox?"

Kushina's face darkened slightly as she thought out her answer. "The nine tailed fox is a demon made out of chakra, evil chakra. And if it isn't sealed away, it can attack people, or worse, evil people can gain control of it and attack innocent people. Which was what happened like decades ago, and the demon had to be seal away."

"Alright, I can understand that," the Doctor muttered, nodding, "Evil, bad, sealed away. Now, why kids? Why not just…put it in a jar, or a mountain, or human adult? I can name thousands of other alternatives to children." His tone seemed to rise a bit in anger as he spoke, and Kushina noted with righteous satisfaction.

"The demon can't be sealed in an inanimate object, at least the nine-tails can't," she answered slowly, "There isn't anything powerful enough to hold the Demon fox. Living, active chakra has to be constantly suppressing it. That means we can only seal it in a living person, especially a person with powerful restrictive chakra, like an Uzumaki naturally does. And, certain Uzumaki variety of chakra works best. I happen to have it. Luck of the draw, that's me!" She made a face. "Anyways, the earlier it's sealed inside a person, the less side affects the host experiences, and the more powerful the seal will be."

"I see." He glanced down at her stomach. "So this fox demon is inside you?"


"Does it hurt?"


"But it does sometimes?"

She nodded and cracked a wry smile. "Gives me bellyache from hell. But it's rare, and at time I'm really sick or weak."

The Doctor merely nodded. He released a groan and sigh, and then pushed himself off the floor and onto his feet.

"Ohh…" he muttered softly, gingerly feeling his stomach, "Think you fractured a rib or two." He glanced down at Kushina with mock disapproval. "Bit rude, that. Rude and ginger, you are. Completely rude. And you flipped me! I rarely get flipped, at least not by 16 year old ginger girls." Smiling, he offered Kushina a hand. "Upsy?"

Kushina looked surprised at first at sudden shift of atmosphere (and mood), but could not help but giggle, if a little incredulously, as she took the Doctor's hand and let him help her up.

"Rude, was it?" she said, laughing nervously, "I think rude is an understatement to describe the beating you took Doctor. Sorry about that."

The Doctor dismissed it with a brilliant grin, "Been through worse. I've had my entire biology rewritten and every cell of one of my hearts went through rapid apoptosis. Let me tell you Kushina, that wasn't fun."

"No kidding," She mumbled, blandly, "Anyways, I've gotta ask Doctor—"

"I do love your need to ask," the Doctor stated with a short chuckle. Kushina couldn't tell if he was being sincere or sarcastic.

"—Earlier, you asked me…why I have…whatever amount of bombs inside me…that means you knew that something was inside me beforehand?"

"Yes," the Doctor answered gravely, "When I scanned with my sonic, I detected an alarming amount of…energy stuff in you." He tugged at his ears as he frowned at Kushina. "Couldn't quite figure out what type of energy 'cause I could sense different types just…all jumbled and mashed up in there."

"Well I do have two types of chakra in me…" Kushina said thoughtfully, "That's probably why…"

"Now clear this up for me once and for all, Kushina," said the Doctor, focusing intense brown eyes at her, "What is chakra, exactly?"

"Its…" she began uncertainly, ruffling about in her memory, "A power source, I suppose. It's the molding of physical energy in every cell and spiritual energy gained from experience and…something—oh—exercise! It's a bit of a problematic definition really. Cause, more things go into the development of chakra, or so I've been told. That's the academy school textbook definition, anyways."

"It definitely has a psychic component," the Doctor muttered, narrowing his eyes in thought. His mind whirred crazily as he recalled earlier events, from the tidal wave earthquake, to the creation of an almost-sentient clone and the psychic energy that he felt radiating from the environment. Though on closer inspection of the energy, he realized it wasn't fully psychic, more psychic-like, though there was, as he stated before, a psychic component to the energy chakra he was detecting. Psychic abilities alone could not create clones or move the earth—the other components of chakra was something strange, something rare. Then there was this demon made of evil chakra. Evil psychic energy, but individualized into an entity? Though whatever psychic energy entity it was, it was sealed inside of this poor girl by way of some pretty complicated mathematically realized psychic transference. Now that, however much he disapproved, was impressive.

"And your mum and dad allowed this to happen, did they?" asked the Doctor, suddenly remembering her parents.

"Yes…" Kushina answered quietly, "Like I said, it was…beyond their control. Besides, it was for the good of the clans…so they couldn't have been selfish and said no."

The Doctor grimaced at this. "Selfish? Wanting your child safe is selfish? Blimey, then every mother in the entire universe is selfish! Anyways—and the rest of the population are okay with this too?"

"Well…" she answered slowly, "Actually, you're only one of the handful of people who does. My parents knew. The Hokage—our village leader, knows. My seal master knows. The Council knows, and so does Biwako-sama—she sort of like my warden."

"So it's a secret to the general public?"

"Of course it is!" she exclaimed hotly, "If people knew!" There was look of horror on her face. "I'd be hated and estranged! I'll be abandoned by my friends! You have no idea how people look at hosts, especially hosts of the nine tails."

"You mean there are more like you?" the Doctor asked in surprise.

"Yes. There are nine of us, for nine tailed beasts," she spat out as an answer, "And we're not exactly loved."

"Your village has nine—"

"Not Konoha. Other villages too. Konoha only has me."

The Doctor looked horrified at this point, trying to comprehend the existence of nine children like Kushina, all with evil chakra equivalent of several hydrogen bombs stuffed into them. These kids literally were walking bombs.

"That's just…ridiculous!" he sputtered angrily, "Absolutely disgusting! You're just child—16, Kushina, a child!"

"You have a better way of containing nine evil demons?" she snapped, "Cause if you do Doctor, please share!"

But the Doctor was off on his own rant now, "Yet they don't treat you well? Hate you and abandon you? What kind of thanks is that for children who they have sacrificed to keep them safe? That's disgusting—"

"You can't blame them," she growled, "I mean…it's not the most comfortable thing being around a literal bomb you know. Would you be okay with having a—what did you call it—a hydrogen bomb around you all day? Would you be friends with a bomb? Would you want your children to play with a bomb?" Why are you defending them? A bitter voice in her mind screamed, he's right, it is disgusting!

"But Kushina, you're a person, not a bomb! That's different. And it's the demon, not you!"

"It's the same! I'm a shinobi, and we're just tools in the large scheme of things, and so am I!" she seethed. She hated every word coming out of her own mouth, but she could not help it, because she believed them to be true.

"Is that how you see yourself?" asked a revolted Doctor, "You think of yourself as a tool?"

"'Cause that's what I am," Kushina answered heatedly, her eyes misting over with angry tears, "I'm a weapon, even more so as a host. That's what we are as shinobi, we're nothing more than tools. And as host, it's even worse!"

The Doctor, looking horrorstruck and wide-eyed, ran frustrated hand through his hair and down his face. "But that's so wrong, Uzumaki Kushina, so wrong, I couldn't even tell you how wrong you are! You're person, a living breathing person! Not anyone's tool or weapon. As a host, you should be valued even more. And you are not defined by whatever they forced inside you!"

Kushina sniffed and quickly wiped away her tears. She wanted everything he had said to be true, she needed it to be true, but the reality was different: she was a tool, and she was, no matter how much she cried and screamed and kicked and complained, defined by the demon inside her. She was Uzumaki Kushina, host first, shinobi second, and a girl last.

"So no one else knows?" his voice quieter now, less harsh and more sympathetic, "Just those big shots, your warden, and mum and dad?"

"Yeah… And you can't let on that you know or they'd…do bad stuff to you. And please, don't tell other people. They can't find out Doctor. My friends, they'll all leave me. And Minato. If he finds out, he's gonna start treating me different. He'll distance himself…and I can't have that, not him."

The Doctor snorted bitterly. "If your blond idiot is as wonderful and amazing as you say he is, then he wouldn't."

Kushina looked up at the Doctor with darkest, angriest glare she could muster, and suddenly grabbed the Doctor's tie, yanked on it and pulled his face down to her level, ignoring his protests and shouts: "Don't say that! Don't you dare!" She shoved him backwards, and her furious and desperate eyes were still locked onto him.

The Doctor realized he had made a huge mistake saying what he did—not just because she had become so violently angry, but because he saw an aching vulnerability behind her ferocity, and it hurt her so very much.

"That's unfair, so unfair!" she continued, tears spilling profusely from her eyes now. "Don't pull that one me! He's the only one, out of all them that I…care really…I mean, he's so wonderful to me, even when I was the new kid and even when people picked on me. He's my best friend, and he's always been there for me, he saved my life in so many ways. If I lose him, I'd have no one…my parents are gone, and he's all I have left."

"But there is always someone else, Kushina. If he abandons you because of this, he didn't deserve your friendship or your admiration."

"Oh shut up Doctor. Just shut up! That's not fair! You don't understand. I'm not going to risk it over some idealist bullshit about 'oh, if he was any good, he'd accept that you are host to a murderous demon which may take over you any moment and destroy all that is good!' 'Cause you know what Doctor, he's the best I know!"

She started sobbing, which really wrenched the Doctor's two hearts and he regretted even pushing the conversation to this point. The poor girl! Marked, destined to be hated, and so afraid! The Doctor wanted to reach over pulled her into a tight comforting hug, but he hesitated as the pain in his abdomen reminded him of what a tetchy Kushina could do.

"I'm sorry," he said instead, looking at the poor teenager sadly, "I won't ever tell anyone, especially not Brilliant blond idiot."

Kushina sniffed as her anger and sobs dissipated. She accepted his apology with a nod and more sniffing and wiping away tears.

"Anyways, Doctor," Kushina continued, through her subsiding sobs, "I don't like this place, let's get outta here. I'll go insane with anger if I stay here any longer."

The Doctor looked at her in surprise. "You know the way out?"

"Now I do," she answered, looking around in distaste, "I've been here before, remember? There's an actual front opening to this place."

"Well then!" The Doctor sighed. He beamed at her encouragingly. "Kushina, lead the way."

"I guess this really was a trap…" the Doctor mumbled to Kushina as the Rock shinobi advanced on them, quite menacingly too. They had come out of the sacrifice chamber right into the hands of a dozen rock ninjas. A handful of newly arrived shinobi placed themselves between the Doctor and Kushina, and the opening, preventing them from running back into the chamber

"Uzumaki Kushina…" one of the Rock shinobi, a very average looking shinobi with dark hair and nasty grin spoke to her. "You'll be coming with us, little girl."

"I'd rather not," Kushina mumbled, looking around in a panic. Okay, they were outnumbered two to a dozen. Not good. "Look, you want me, let this man go—"

"—No, Kushina—"

"—Shut up! He's innocent."

"Aww, ain't the lil one cute and noble?" the same shinobi chuckled, "I like the feisty noble ones. Love my job. Now—"

"Look," the Doctor began, all business-like, "Let's talk this out, shall we? This is hardly an ideal situation—well for us anyways—but think about this: you want her for her tenant, am I right? From what I understand that if you hurt her you run the risk of letting the demon possess her, which, I might add, does not do anyone any good."

The shinobi looked at him oddly. "Demon? What in the blazing hell you talking about?"

Dumbfounded, the Doctor blinked at him, glanced Kushina, and then back the shinobi. "You don't know why you're after her?"

"All we know is that she's important," the man growled, "Now enough of this talking! Get them! Kill the civilian."

The rock shinobi acted blindingly fast. A handful of them had Kushina restrained before she could cry out "No!" Another set of them moved to dispatch the Doctor who, for all his Time Lord superiority, could not keep up with the super human speed. He thought he was breathing his last in this body when he felt the sharp blade brush his throat, but it was all he felt.

The next few moments were a blur of confusion. A streak of yellow and black threw off his assailants with alarming ease, and freed Kushina of her captors. The Rock shinobi shifted their focus to this startlingly fast new player on the field who seemed to be working against them. Only when Kushina and Doctor were safely away from the shinobi did their savior stop moving, and stood, with an air of protectiveness, between them and the Rock shinobi.

Just from his back, the Doctor could tell it was a young man. He instantly noted the bright blond hair which contrasted starkly with the black, leather coat. This struck him as odd—the coat was not in the style of this world at all, at least as far as he knew. No shinobi in any reality wore long, black leather coats. The man looked like he walked off the streets of New York or London with that one. He noted how worn in the coat was, and the leather gloves seemed like it had seen better days.

The Doctor entertained the thought that perhaps this man wasn't a shinobi until he heard Kushina's bewildered voice, gasping, "Minato?"

"What?" the Doctor exclaimed in surprise, looking from Kushina to the supposed Minato "Is that brilliant blond idiot?"

Kushina blushed momentarily and threw the Doctor a warning look.

"One moment, Kushina," Minato said, without looking back at them. Then he was a flash of black and yellow again, charging at the Rock shinobi with a speed that boggled even the Doctor. With ruthless and anonymous efficiency, the leather clad Minato struck his opponent until not one remained. The opposing side barely had time to perform any techniques. After a few short minutes, the dozen Rock shinobi lay dead at his feet, and neither the Doctor or Kushina actually glanced his face.

Stunned, they could only gape at what they were seeing. Carnage in seconds, it was! It made the Doctor sick.

"Minato?" Kushina asked breathlessly, "Is that you?

He finally turned to them, and indeed he was a young man, though older teenager was more accurate—around Kushina's age. His blue eyes were catching, but they were tired and somber and old. Now that really caught the Doctor's attention: there was unmistakable age, great age, in those deceptively young eyes. When Minato looked at Kushina, the Doctor noted they seemed to light up just a little bit.

"It is you!" Kushina exclaimed happily, "You saved us!" She rushed forward and threw her arms around him. Minato stiffened in response, though Kushina did not notice.

She pulled back and looked at him up and down with a critical eye. "Just what are you wearing?"

A smile tugged at his previously passive face. "This? Don't you like it?"

"Uh. I dunno," Kushina replied, crinkling her noise, "I mean, didn't think leather coats were your style at all."

"Me neither," Minato said softly, "Amazing how things can change given the right circumstances and…time…"

The Doctor could hear the unmistakable undercurrent of sadness to his words, sadness that sprung from fatigue, sadness that sprung from having lived too much. Of course the Doctor would know, because it was all he felt sometimes, and all he could feel.

Kushina was also looking at Minato oddly, but she seemed to shake off any suspicious she might have had easily. The Doctor, on the other hand, knew something was up. But it wasn't just the way Minato talked or the odd way he dressed—the Doctor could smell time wafting from him. He was mired in it: time, broken and twisted timelines, and the smell of ancientness. The Doctor eyed him suspiciously: whoever this person was, it couldn't be Kushina's best friend.

"We have to leave," Minato said urgently, "Come on. There's a Konoha team nearby. I'll hold back the other Rock nins creeping about here."

"Right," Kushina agreed, nodding, "Let's go." She turned to the Doctor, grinning brilliantly, "This is Minato, Doctor! And Minato—this is the Doctor. He's an alien."

Minato barely seemed fazed by the last bit of info. He merely gave the Doctor the smallest of smiles, though it was surprisingly a warm smile.

"Ah, so this is Minato," The Doctor said with a bright grin, "Couldn't shut up about you, this one."

"Doctor!" Kushina hissed.

"Pleased to meet you," Minato returned passively. He turned to Kushina sharply: "Look Kushina, there's a path down that way—" He motioned in the direction to their right. "It's dirt, but it's clearly marked. Following it should take you were you need to be."

Where you need to be. Now Doctor thought this was a curious phrase.

"Alright then," said Kushina, nodding, "Let's go. Come on Doctor!"

Kushina and the Doctor followed Minato's direction and found the path he spoke of, while Minato trailed behind them. A new group of Rock shinobi seemed to jump out of nowhere and attacked them.

"You and the Doctor go ahead," Minato told them as he once again put himself between them and their assailants, "I'll handle them."

"No way," Kushina growled angrily, "I can fight!"


Kushina jumped and stared at Minato, stunned at the outburst and obviously hurt. Then it turned into anger. "No what? You can't tell me what to do! I can take'em!"

"No," he repeated, this time more softly and a bit more apologetic, "You protect Doctor, get him to safety, where he can…you both will be safe. This is important."


"He's right Kushina," the Doctor put in. He and Minato's eyes met, and understanding passed between them. He knew this Minato was not just Kushina's best friend, if he was Minato at all. This Minato was something else.

"I need to get to the Tardis, Kushina," said the Doctor, "Help me find it."

"Go," Minato added firmly, "Not much time here."

"Fine!" Kushina cried angrily, "But I'm not letting you off easily. Come on Doctor!"

Kushina rushed off in huff. The Doctor cast a leery glance at Minato, and followed after the ginger shinobi.

Note: Thanks for reading! I really do love you all and appreciate it! And thanks for the reviews and comments and kind words! It really helps!