A/N: I apologize, but I had major WB on One Step Beyond, & I was uber bored. Plus I'm gonna be gone like all next week so I wanted to post this so CERTAIN PEOPLE didn't track me down skin me alive e-e" You see, it might be a bit traumatic for my cousin. Either that or she'd burst out laughing. But whatever.

Everyone except Mrs. Stephens (teacher,) Mr. Kraft (principal,) Watari, & the task force are, like, 12-14 in this. HOORAY FOR THE MAGIC OF FFs! :D Oh, Edward & Alucard are whatever age they are too... (...spoiler :/)

EDIT: Also, QueenOfAshes wanted me to make a note that we brainstormed a little together on da phone before I wrote this, & that she may have come up with a few of the ideas used in this fic. So if she uses any of them in hers, she's not "stealing" ;P ...so yeah. Give her some credit, people.


Mrs. Stephens: blah blah blah science crap blah blah blah

Mr. Kraft: Hey yeah sorry for interrupting your class but we've got a shitload of new students & this is the "smart class" & they're all either geniuses, dumbasses, or super old so they're in here.

Mrs. Stephens: ...But we've already got like 30 students...

Dexter: 34 :D

Everyone: STFU DEXTER

Mr. Kraft: Yeah I know... BAI. *walks away, revealing new students*

*Watari, Soichiro, Aizawa, L, Mello, Matt, Near, Matsuda, Takada, Light, Misa, & Mikami walk in, in that order*

Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, & Ariel (me): *LE GASP*

Aiden: Oh god... Please don't tell me those are...

Ariel: STFU AIDEN OF COURSE THEY ARE :D *starts stabbing Aiden with my pen*

Mary: Who the hell are they? *trollface*

Jacqueline: WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE :D *points to Watari* That's Watari. He's oldddddddddddddddddddddd.

Watari: WTFLOL.

Ashley: *points* That's Soichiro. His mustache will kick your ass, so beware.

Soichiro's mustache: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 8)

Ariel: That's Aizawa & his CANNIBALISTIC AFROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Aizawa's afro: *to Soichiro's mustache* Yo, what up?

Soichiro's mustache: Meh, just Chuck Norrising some 3 year old.

Aizawa's afro: Cool. *eats Ukita's dead body*

Jacqueline: That's L, also known as Good Noodle, Sad Panda, & L-Kitten :D

L: WTFH I'm not called any of those O.o

Ariel: YEAHYOUARE & that's Mello, also known as Tinkerbell-

Mello: *drops chocolate bar* WHAT THE FUCK?

Ariel: Marshmello-

Mello: *eyetwitch*

Ariel: & Mels :D

Mello: ...

David: Hehe, he looks like a girl-

Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, Ariel: NO DAVID. BAAAD DAVID.

Mello: *shoots David*

Ariel: & that's Matt *points* A.K.A. Matty & Cuddleboy

Matt: *looks up from DS* wait WHAT?

Mallory: & that's Near... *point* MR. WHITE FLUFF, THE SOCK SHEEP

Near: *looks up from making MelloxMatt yaoi with his hand puppets* ...w.t.h.?

Jacqueline: THAT'S MATSUDA, AKA MATSOOOO-CHAN :D

Matsuda: LOOK I'MA TRAIN CHOOO CHOOOOO *train motions around classroom*

Ashley: ...*point* That's Takada. She's a whore.

Takada: I do not belie-

Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, Ariel: STFU TAKADA NO ONE CARES

Jacqueline: *points* & that's Misa! She's me only slutastic! :D

Misa: OMG I love your shirt!

Jacqueline: :D & I love your hair!

Light: Hey don't I get an introduction?

L: You don't like being ignored, therefor you are childish and indeed Kira.

Light: BULLSHIT DX I am not Kira!

Mallory: ... Nope. You're Kira. L, he's Kira. So's Misa. & Mikami. & Takada.

Light: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL MALLORY? ...And why do I know your name? O.o"

Ashley: EVERYONE LIGHT IS KIRA! KIRA IS GODDDDDD! Oh & that's Light ^-^ *points*

Jacqueline: & L IS JUSTICE! ...OR THE OTHER WAY AROUND, IT'S COMPLICATED!

L: ...

Ariel: Oh & that's Mikami :D He haz epic hair... & a lazarrrr pen. :D

Mikami: *to Light* GOD? :D

Rachel (an 8th grader): *runs into our class from her classroom* OMG NEAR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU *glomp*

Near: O.O WTFH DX

Hannah (another 7th grader not in our class): *runs in* :D ...wait, no BB? D:

BB: *walks in behind her*

Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, Ariel, Hannah, Rachel: :DDDDDDDD

Hannah: 'TIS BB! OR JUST B! OR BEYOND BIRTHDAY! OR BEYOND! OR RUE RYUZAKI! :DDDDDD

BB: O.o

Max: *is making origami knives... in the middle of class. Yeah, he does that.*

BB: Can I have one of those? 8)

Max: *childish voice* They're 50 cents :3

BB: D:= GIVE IT TO ME

Max: D: NO D:

BB: ...*takes it & laughs creepily*

Max: DDD':

Mia (another 8th grader): *walks in* *Brittish accent* Thi' i' awesum, eh chaps?

Madison (follows her in): L :D I HAVE A PLUSHIE OF YOU :D

L: e-e"

Mia & Ariel: *fighting over Mello & Matt*

Mello & Matt: ...

Zack (who lived in Japan for like 5 years): *to Light* Hey... Have I seen you before?

Light: O.o um...

Jacqueline: ROSEMARY! You know Light? He's from Death Note, it's an anime! :D

Zack (yeah. we call him Rosemary.): ...I see.

Matsuda: *pulls the little shower-pull thing, which has words on it that read "PULL IN EMERGENCY"* *pretty much gets a shower... a cold one.*

Mrs. Stephens: *eyetwitch* Honey, sweetie, sugar, darling, pumpkin, dear...

Jacqueline: OHHHHH SHE JUST CALLED YOU PUMPKIN & DEAR! You might as well just move your little butt over to the Corner of Scienceeeeeee *points to Tanner's practically permanent seat*

Tanner: :D I'M FREE

Kendall: No. *looks at him for twenty seconds without blinking*

Tanner: WTF? ... *bursts into flames*

Light: *just finished explaining Death Note to Anna*

Anna: So none of you are gay lovers?

Light: -.- No.

Anna: You sure?

Light: T.T Yes.

Anna: Certain?

Light: *facepalm*

Matsuda: ZOOM NOW I'M AN AIRPLANE :D *leaving puddles everywhere*

Edward: Hey look at me I'm a real vampire! :D

Alucard: *shoots him* Damn pixies. *walks through the wall & off campus*

Mrs. Stephens: *spontaneously combusts*

Zack: So, Hey, Misa...

Jacqueline: DDDDDD: WTF? WEEKEND PEDOPHILE? ARE YOU THE FULL-TIME PEDOPHILE NOW? (long story.)

Zack: DX ONLY ON WEEKENDS!

Randy: what...the...hell...

Ashley: STFU Randy go have gay sex with Dexter or something

Dexter & Randy: *start exchanging weirdly gay glances*

Aizawa's afro: *starts nomming on Mary*

Mary: DX HELP ME!

Everyone: *doesn't help her*

Ariel: See, Jackie-chan Dryer-kun? I TOLD YOU AFROS EAT PEOPLE!

Jacqueline: YOU ALSO SAID YOU WERE PROTECTED BY DEATHICORNS!

Ariel: That's because I am! D:

Jacqueline: That's ridiculous, Sebastian! Falcon, what do you think?

Mallory: *eyes the purple jacket I always wear* I see you're wearing your green jacket again, Sebastian.

Ariel: That I am, Falcon.

*ten seconds of silence*

Mia: HEY BITCH I'M STILL ARGUING WITH YOU~

Ariel: MATTY & MARSHMELLO ARE MINE BITCH~

Mia: NUUUUUUUUUH~

Matt & Mello: O.o o.O

Misa: HEY LIGHT~

Light: DX BACK OFF SLUT

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Misa: DDDDDD:

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Light: IT'S LIKE YOUR VOICE REPELS ALL INTELLIGENT THOUGHT! DX

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Misa: DDDDDDDDDDDDD':

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

L: That was a very mean thing to do, Light. Kira is mean. Therefor, Light is Kira.

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Light: That's preposterous! I am not Kira!

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

L: Nope, nope, you're wrong. Just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Dexter: So, Hey Misa... I really like your skirt, & I was wondering if-

Jacqueline: DEXTER YOU PERV! Go back to being gay with Randy!

Dexter & Randy: *exchange more gay looks*

Hannah: HEY BB :D Who you stabbing?

BB: I think his name was Brendan...

Hannah: :O ... :D

Randy: ... 'bout time.

Dexter: Hehe, that's what you get for being curly fry head :)

Dexter & Randy: *go back to their gayness*

L: OHNOEZ THE CUPCAKE IS BLEEDING!

Ashley: OHNOEZZZZZZZ-

Jacqueline: ZZZZZZZZZZ-

Mallory: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Hannah: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Rachel: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Ariel: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Mia: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Madison: ...no. I refuse.

L: D:

BB: *has been singing Blood by MCR* ...Blood, Blood, Gallons of the stuff, I gave you all that you could drink and it has never been enough I gave you Blood, Blood, BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOD-UH, I'M THE type of human wreckage that'cha love DUN-dun ;)

Ariel: :DDDDD

Eva (another 8th grader): *pops in* OMG MCR! :DDDDD

Ariel: IKR?

Mello: ...Suddenly I wish I could disown all other MCR fans.

Matt: *nodnod* *doesn't look up from DS*

Watari: WTF is going on, eh? LOL

Soichiro: IDK, LOLOL.

Aizawa: Liek, ROFLMAO!

Madison: O.o why are you using txt talk?

Watari, Soichiro, & Aizawa: RMFAOSHRNDJSOLOSHFW!

Matsuda: OH! I can do that too! dskfjdshafjsdhf fhdsjfgsdgfd dfdgf74 dfhds, fdsgfdgfwe!

Kendall: Spam.

Jacqueline: OMG MATSUDA YOU'RE ADORABLE!

Watari's mustache: L337 $P34K!

Near: CHOCOLATE IS AWESOME

Mello: I LOVE ROBOTS

Matt: SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH

L: CAKE SUC- WAIT, WTF? DDDX

Light: WTF IS GOING ON? DX

Ryuk: Ah, that's simple. This is a fanfiction, and so everyone is extremely OOC. Humans are so... interesting.

Sidoh: I WANT MY NOTEBOOOOKKKKKK DX

Ryuk: SHIT *flys off*

Jesus: What has my dad done?

God: HEY, HEY, I'm sorry. Satan gave me some weed, & things just kinda went downhill from there...

L: God, you're a druggie? D:

Mikami: *to Light* Kira... ur a druggie? D:

Soichiro: Light, you're a druggie? ):= TO YOUR ROOM!

Jacqueline: LIKE FALCON!

Mallory: HEY YOU'RE THE ALCOHOLIC!

Jacqueline: IT WAS APPLE JUICE NOT BEER! DX

Ariel: ... :D
Well it was a sunny day & I was riding my bike & I was smoking a joint 'cause THAT'S WHAT I LIKE

Everyone: o.o"

Ariel: And along came a police man to stop and stare and he said "HEY SONNY WHATCHA SMOKIN' THERE?"

Everyone: o.o""

Ariel: And I said
"HEY it's a reefer day, do ya want some, police man? It's a reefer day, ya want a blast? It's a reefer day, ya want some police man? OR WOULD YOU RATHER ME SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS?"

Everyone: o.o"""

Ariel: Well he put me in his car & we left my bike & he took my reefer which HE QUITE LIKED

Everyone: o.o""""

Ariel: We got to the station & his eyes were all red & the Sergeant said "Constable you've gone OUT OF YOUR HEAD!"

Everyone: o.o"""""

Ariel: He said
"YEAH! It's a reefer day, ya want some Sergeant? It's a reefer day, ya want a blast? It's a reefer day, ya want some, Seargeant? OR WOULD YOU RATHER ME SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS?"

Everyone: o.o""""""

Ariel: Well he suspended the Constable for his little joke & he went to the bathroom to HAVE A LITTLE TOKE

Everyone: o.o"""""""

Ariel: And when he got back and rolled another eight, and they were being passed around EVERY COPPER IN THE PLACE~

Everyone: o.o""""""""

Ariel: Well I sold them two ounces, and one sixteenth, And they rolled the biggest joint THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN~

Everyone: o.o"""""""""

Ariel: And they sang
"HEY! It's a reefer day, ya want some, mindless, It's a reefer day, ya want a blast? It's a reefer day, ya want some, mindless?
Thanks for your company & thanks for the grass!"

Everyone: o.o""""""""""""

God: OhdearKira, what HAVE I done? .-.

Jesus: ...

Matt: SHIT What the hell Luigi? What dipshit in here was I playing with just then? WHO JUST PUSHED A MARIO OFF A FRIGGIN CLIFF?

Josh: ... *raises hand* ...

Matt: *glare of death* *starts smoking*

Ashley: DON'T DO THAT THERE'S SMOKE ALARM THINGIES DDDDDX

Smoke alarms: LOLOL WE'RE LOUD LOLOL REEEEEEEEEEEEWR REEEEEEEEEEEEEEWR REEEEEEEEEEEEEEWR

Sprinklers: LOL! Cold shower time! Courtesy of Matt! *cold showers*

Matt: My cigarette went out! D:=

Everyone: -_-"

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: THE FANGIRLS CRY & POUT!

Matt & Mello: O.o

Mallory and Aiden(recovering from stab wounds): Oh no...

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: Dead Matt, Dead Matt, Dead Matt, He's dead!

Matt: WTF DX

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: Now Matt's good buddy Mello,
Is sorry his friend died,
But he's still got Takada and a SWEET-ASS-RIDE!

Mello: Damn straight.

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: His plan is still in motion,
There's no way Kira can hiiiide,
HE WILL DEFEAT NEAR THE GOAL'S AHEAD

Mello: :)

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: OH NO!
She's got a death note, now he's dead.

Mello: WTF? DX

Everyone: o.O"

Random chair: SIT ON ME! :D

L: O.o

Paper airplane: ZOOM SOMEHOW THE WATER ISN'T WEIGHING ME DOWN! :D

Matsuda: FRIEND! :D

Light: o.O

Jesus: ...ohjeevas...

Matt: WTF why is Jesus using my last name?

Mello: *shrug* *noms chocolate*

Watari: I'M HERE TO BREAK UP WHATEVER WAS GOING ON!

. . .

:D

Paper airplane: HEY HEY HEY LOOK AT ME! OPEN ME UP!

Near: *opens it up, revealing M&M kissing* I knew it.

Mello: WTF? DX WE WERE HIGH! & WE WERE DARED! *shoots paper*

Bullets: YO YO YO, we gonna DESTROY you paper, we gonna DESTROY you in da name of da Mello!

Paper: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO D'X

Mello: *blows shit up*

*shit happens*

*chaos ensues*

*everyone's dead*

-later-

*everyone's not dead?*

Ariel: Hey Mom :/

My Mom: How was school today?

Ariel: Same old same old :/

DA END.