A/N: I had to write this for a school assignment some months ago, and I just found it today on the computer. "Hey," I thought to myself, "I should totally post this on !". So I did. These were looked over by my classmates and by my teacher for errors.
Well, if there's one thing that never changes on Olympus, it's that someone is always arguing. This time it's Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite. They've been at it for months over some apple – it's got "to the fairest" or something like that on it and they obviously can't split it or anything, oh no, that would be sharing, which no respectable god would ever do. Ugh. Sadly, I can't stop their bickering, because they've been asking anyone who tries who the prettiest is. Hera's my wife, Athena's my daughter, and Aphrodite is just ruthless. No matter who I choose, the other two will make me suffer. So for the next while I'll be avoiding them. Especially Hera. She's still mad over that incident with Europa. And the ones with Rhea, and Mia, and Leto, and Leda, and some others whose names escape me at this moment.
Later: I was cornered by Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite. As of right now, I am bearing mental scars. To get them to stop badgering me, I suggested asking a human male, because they wouldn't have any kind of emotional baggage with these goddesses. Except for a desire to not get smote. Hmm. Aphrodite asked which one I meant, as there are so many underfoot. Paris was the first one who came to mind. Okay mortal, as I recall. Regular with the sacrifices. They were satisfied with this and left me alone in blessed peace. Paris will be either an amazing solution or an absolutely terrible one.
Later: I am inclined towards the "absolutely terrible" side of things now. Just so I can get it straight at last: Aphrodite told Paris that she would give him the woman of his dreams if he voted for her, so he did. Paris's dream girl is apparently Helen, who is already married to the king of Sparta. Aphrodite likes tragic love, so she gave her to Paris to take back to Troy. This has started a war. Oh, and to top it off? Athena and Hera found this out, told everyone that Aphrodite cheated, and sided with the Greeks. Now, Aphrodite is on the Trojan side. In fact, everyone is choosing sides, instead of staying out of what was originally just those three's little squabble over fresh fruit! Everyone but me. Of course, this won't turn out to be anything big. In a little while I can just go and talk to the three of them about fixing all this up. The mess won't last for more than a few years.