Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter; J.K Rowling does…

2nd Disclaimer: The idea for this story is dangerously similar to Cliodhna's "140 things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts" I suggest that (after you read this) go over to her story and read it, it is amazingly funny. She is my inspiration and her story gave me this idea (they're basically the same)

A/N: So my disclaimer is basically my Authors Note; let the antics begin…

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# 18: I will not shave Mrs. Norris.

"Headmaster! Headmaster! Headmaster Dumbledore!" A middle aged man yelled as he strode through the large office doors, his face as red as a quaffle, and his arm protectively shielding a small object, which was shaking in his firm grip.

The man in question, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, looked up from his magazine, labeled Transfiguration Weekly. He was an old man with a long white beard and a crooked nose, which half-moon spectacles rested up. He raised a white eyebrow at the shaking object in the other man's hand; his other brow rose as two teenage boys walked in behind him.

"Hello Argus, what can I help you with?"

The other man, Argus, held out the object, his hands shaking, most likely from anger.

"Look what they did! Look what those two delinquents did!" He screeched, making the thing in his hand shake even more. The thing tuned out to be an animal, a cat to be exact. The cat had bulging yellow eyes seemed to be larger than they should be, of course, the lack of hair could have contributed to that.

Dumbledore leaned to look at the boys behind Argus; his eyes twinkled with humor as he recognized them. The boy on the left was tall and had long, elegant black hair, his grey eyes were narrowed in a glare at one of the portraits; Dumbledore didn't need to follow his line of vision to see which Headmaster he was glaring at. It was the late Headmaster, Phineas Nigellus Black, which just so happened to be the young teenager's great-great- grandfather, who, in turn, was glaring right back.

However, the other boy, the one with messy black hair, wire framed glasses and hazel eyes, was examining one of Dumbledore's many complex instruments. At this very moment, he was cautiously poking at a small contraption that was ticking and emitting different colored bubbles whenever the boy touched it.

James Potter and Sirius Black, Dumbledore thought, would there ever be a year they weren't in his office?

The old Headmaster turned back to his caretaker, whose face was now a plum color and his hands were shaking so fast that Dumbledore thought that the poor cat would plummet to the ground if Argus wasn't calmed down soon.

"Argus, please explain to me what happened." Dumbledore calmly asked the school's caretaker; know that this wasn't going to be a calm conversation.

Argus' eyes bulged as he began to stutter.

"W-wh-what H-h-happened? What H-HAPPENED? CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED? MY CAT'S BASICALLY BALD!" He screeched as he all but threw the cat across the room, "THESE TWO SHAVED HER! THEY DID THIS TO HER!" he swung a hand around to the two boys who backed up a few steps, hoping that they would be able to avoid most injures at a safe distance.

"Boys," Dumbledore started, his tone calm and neutral, although his eyes still held a humorous twinkle, "do you deny shaving Mrs. Norris?"

Sirius shrugged as James let his lips quirk into a half smile.

Dumbledore peered at the boys over his half-moon spectacles and raised both eyes brows again. His stare was more intense as he tried to silently probe an answer from the two third year Gryffindor's. The office was silent for a while except for the troubled caretaker's wheezes.

"Well, I thought it was time for a change." Sirius stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm afraid I don't understand Mr. Black, change what?"

"Well every year we, the students, come back and see the same old Mrs. Norris, her same old dust colored fur and everything! I decided this year that it was time for a change." He motioned towards the cat in Argus' hands.

"Did you?"

"Why yes Professor! James and I went to a dog store this past summer and saw this weird dog- I think it was called a puddle- anyways we took the look of the puddle and put it on Mrs. Norris, with a Marauder's touch of course! See! Look for yourself."

Dumbledore obliged to the thirteen year old's request and took a better look at the cat. The cat did indeed have the look of the so-called puddle. It seemed that Sirius had shaved all the hair off of Mrs. Norris, excluding her head, the tip of her tail, and her ankles.

The 'Marauder's Touch' was something different entirely. It looked as if an invisible quill was using the bare skin on Mrs. Norris' back as a spare bit of parchment. Doodles appeared on her skin before erasing themselves and being replaced by different doodles in a continuous, never-ending cycle.

"That is some very impressive charm work, Mr. Black, but I do wonder how you fit into this equation, Mr. Potter." Out of the corner of his eye Dumbledore saw Argus' face fall, his arms dropped to his sides, and Mrs. Norris with them.

"Actually, Professor," James spoke for the first time, "I was the one that performed the charm." James spoke with pride, not as if he was confessing to breaking a school rule.

"Well, I can see that neither of you will try to even deny Mr. Filch's accusation, I think that detentions should take place, don't you?"

Both boys shrugged.

"Very well, if you would meet Hagrid in Entrance Hall for the next five days at 8 o' clock; I believe we are finished here."

"W-what?" Argus stuttered in disbelief, "WHAT?"

"Boys, if you will please join your housemates down in the Great Hall-"


"- for dinner now."


"Oh, and Mr. Black," Sirius and James turned as they were about to step through the open door, "I believe the word you were looking for was poodle. Good day."


Filch's cries of out range were slightly muffled as James and Sirius closed the door behind them, grinning, although they could make out every word he yelled behind the thick wooden door.

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A/N: Love it? Hate it? Should I put two rules in a chapter? Or just one? Shoot me a Review

~ Frissa :D