Disclaimer: Twilight? Not mine. If it was, I would not be updating from my desk at work right now...

THANK YOUS—Jess: You never have to do a damn thing to get credited. DarlingSaila: THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! This story is lost without you! LondonStew (the Penny to my Amy): Thanks for listening to my crazy rambles and being forever awesome! EVERYONE: Thank you for reading, reviewing, lurking, tweeting, tumblring, facebooking… I am so sorry this took so long.

-x-

The Slowest Burn

That awkward moment when… someone gives you a bedazzled baton and points at a giant stuffed penis dangling above your head.

Ch. 35: Cough Syrup

Excitement tingles in my blood as we all set out to get into our cars and meet up for pizza, but Edward stops me with a short jerk to the front of his chest.

"Goddamn, Bella." His eyes roam all over me and settle at my tits. "You look…" He bites his bottom lip and shakes his head as he steps back to take me all in. "Fine as hell, girl." There's a fire in his gaze when our eyes meet again.

I actually start blushing, the blood rushes to my cheeks and someone honks as they drive away, but I never look away from Edward. I just step closer and wrap my arms around his neck and he grins, and I feel his hands slide down my back to my ass, and then he's lifting and my legs are around his waist and he's smashing our hips together with his mouth viciously attacking mine. My skin is like lava and I melt all over him while heat collects and gathers down between my legs—I feel like a volcano ready to erupt. I want him alone, and I want him now.

"Later," he whispers against my lips and slowly sets me back down to my feet. "C'mon." He opens the driver's side door and motions for me to get in.

I groan and slide across the seat, the cool leather move smoothly against the backs of my thighs and I shiver from the invigorating sensation. I can feel what little control I have left inside of me slip away the moment he turns the ignition. The loud roar of the engine vibrates and sends tingles all over my sensitive flesh. It's so good I press myself against his side and place my hand onto his collar, teasing him with my fingertips that I feather down his chest all the way down to the bulge in his pants.

"Is it later yet?" I ask him with an arched brow.

He sucks in a deep breath through gritted teeth and his jaw tightens as he struggles to reel his primal urges back under control. But I don't want him to; I want him to snap and attack me. I want him so badly I can't sit still—I can't even fathom leaving this driveway until I've had him. I involuntarily find myself lifting a leg to curl around his knee so that I can raise my hips and press my dampening panties against his jean-clad thigh. It makes me tremble and makes my breath catch in my throat as a small moan escapes my lips.

"Fuck. Shit. We're…gonna be late…" he tries, to get me to relent.

I nibble his ear and stroke my palm up and down his length through his pants while I continuously rub my naked thighs together. My dress has hiked up dangerously high, and I take his hand from the steering wheel to place it on my hip.

"Touch me, Edward," I beg him. "Please?"

Faster than I thought possible, I'm straddling his lap on my knees and his mouth crashes into mine, forcing his tongue past my lips. Teeth clash together, lips are bitten, breaths are stolen, hips are grinding, and my fingers fist in his hair to pull him even closer. Strong hands pull the bottom of my dress up past my hips and then they're on my ass and slamming me down onto his erection.

I whimper and dig my nose into the crook of his neck. I inhale his crisp soapy scent mixed with a slather of cologne and revel in the spicy cinnamon taste from his mouth. I lick him from the bottom of his jaw to the top of his ear and bite his lobe.

"Why do I always seem to lose myself in you?" he moans into my collarbone and kisses his way up my throat to suck on my neck with wet lips, sexy nibbles, and a rough tongue that makes my entire body shiver. "You're amazing, you know that?"

My eyes shut tight as I start to slowly rock my pussy against his coarse jeans. "Edward," I cry, desperately seeking more friction, "please."

"Please what, baby?" he asks with lips that tempt and teeth that tease. "Tell me, Bella. Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. Just ask, baby."

His words send a shiver down my spine that causes my thighs to quiver and one of his hands to slip down between us. "Ooh, fuck! I want you—so, so badly, Edward." I wrap my arms around his neck and circle my hips into his hand. "God, you make me feel…" I can't find the words so I cover his mouth with mine.

"Hmmm…" He growls deeply in the back of his throat and I feel it in the pit of my stomach. "Did you know…" the tip of his nose slips up the side of my face so that he can say into my ear "…that I'm always hungry for you and your hot little pussy."

I undergo an uncontrollable wave of lust that shoots through me, and it leaves behind that tingling feeling you get before your skin goes numb—except it never stops. My stomach muscles tighten when I'm at the highest point of arousal and release slowly until I climb back up. I feel almost like a heart monitor with all these ups and downs—intense and intimate.

His hands are everywhere—my waist, my shoulders, up my neck, in my hair, cupping my face. I feel my nipples tighten against the material of my dress and I know Edward knows I'm not wearing a bra. I urge him to give attention to them by leaning back so that his eyes go to my breasts.

"Hello, precious," he whispers as one hand yanks down the dip in the front of my dress so that he gains access to one pert nipple, which he covers with his tongue and sucks into his mouth. My head tilts back, my mouth falls open—I can't breathe. Every teasing nip is a lightning strike straight to my pussy, my walls pulse and clench, making me more desperate for penetration.

"That's right, baby. You keep rubbing that tight pussy against me until it makes you beg." He lifts his thigh for more fiction and I whimper in return. "What part of me do you want most, huh? My cock?" He grounds me down onto his erection. "My fingers?" One quick pass of two fingers slick over the wet panties between my thighs. "How about my tongue?" He flattens it against my throat and licks his way up to my ear.

I buck into him like a wild animal and immediately start to plead for him to touch me—love me—fill me.

"Yeah, you like when I talk like that, don't you?" he whispers softly. His nose feathers down between my tits with warm breath on my wet nipples that sends my eyes into the back of my head. "Say you like it," he demands and cups my other breast, kneading it to a point just as sharp as its twin.

I gasp and feel an abrupt flourish of incredible pleasure pulse between my legs and up into my chest. "Yes. Oh, God—yes! I fucking love it! I need it, I want it!"

"You want to know what I want to do to you right now?" His lips are now at my ear, hot breath coating my face and down my neck to my collarbone. "I want you upstairs in your room, so I can bend you over your dresser and you can watch me take what's mine. Because you're mine, Bella. Say it." He grabs a fistful of my hair at the back of my head and pulls.

I tremble uncontrollably and shout, "Oh, God—yours!"

He releases his hold and places it somewhere else—my pussy. "Fuck, you're so wet," he curses against my chin, nipping me lightly with his teeth. "Damn, baby, you hear that?" His fingers tease and circle my clit. "That's how wet I make you, baby. That's how much you want me."

I tremble beneath his meticulous touch slipping up and down between my folds until he's finally pushing one and then two of his fingers into me all the way up to his knuckles. The penetration causes my nails to dig into his shoulders and my eyes to lose sight, just black dots and white lights. My chest heaves in and out with quick, short pants of air as my hips roll and rock against the amazing sensation of him inside of me.

"Do you have any idea how fucking hot that sound is?" he continues. "Do you know how good you taste on my tongue? How fucking beautiful you are when you come?" He curls his fingers to tease inside of me before he pulls out and brings my arousal to his mouth and groans in pleasure. "You're the sweetest honey, Bella."

"Oh, shit—oh, God!" I scream and squeeze my thighs against his hips as he moves his fingers in and out again. "Like that, Edward. Don't stop—right there, right there—yes!" My entire body is rocked with intense waves of lust, a pounding heart, coiled muscles, and a heightened sense of touch.

His long fingers slip up in a perfect V form between my folds and then presses and pinches. I jump and yelp and shake over him. My pussy throbs and pulses and clenches in reaction to his relentless teasing. When his fingertips taunt my opening, I lift my hips and his palm pushes against my roused clit. I whimper when he abruptly pulls away without warning. His mouth descends and I lower my chin to capture his lips with mine. The rough fabric of his jeans rubs and burns my inner thighs up until he pushes my knees back, so that my legs open wider, and he plunges two long, lithe fingers deep inside of me.

"Fuck!" I yell and pitch forward with my hands out to grab his shoulders for balance. "Yeah—oh, yeah," I cry out. "Yes—yes—yes!" I pull my hips back and forth so that I'm fucking his fingers. My back hits the steering wheel and causes the car to honk, but it does nothing to slow my rhythm.

"Tell me when you're close," he grunts and makes work with the zipper at the back of my dress. I feel a draft against my skin when I'm undone and shiver from the hot-cold I feel in the car. I'm burning up, but it's still cold outside.

My stomach and pelvis tighten and my chest heaves up and down as I struggle for breath. I feel my pussy clench around his fingers as the throbbing between my legs intensifies and my knees draw up to my elbows instinctively. One of my hands dives into his wild mess of hair so that I can suck his tongue into my mouth and curl my body toward his.

"Fuck, Bella…I can smell you." He teases me further and hooks his fingers inside, hitting a certain spot that makes me yelp and quake in his arms as I beg and plead for him to go faster, push deeper—please—please—don't stop!

"You want my mouth on you, baby?" He pulls his hand back and asks with glistening lips and hungry eyes.

I want him everywhere.

I say, "I want you everywhere—in me, on me."

Then I take his face into my hands, so that I can fuck his mouth with my tongue and grind myself down onto his clothed cock, and I can feel a knot of tension of energy collect deep inside of me. My skin is on fire and every part of me feels so, so good, and he keeps yanking me down onto him and he's so damn hard inside his jeans and I want him inside me so fucking badly!

He all but rips my dress over my head and throws it into the backseat. "You have the sexiness fucking tits, baby." His gaze is locked onto my nipples, his thumbs rub around them in circles, he licks his lips and leans forward to take one into his mouth and pinch the other with his fingers.

"Ah!" I yelp when he bites and pulls at my nipples with his hard teeth that hurt so good, a sharp sting followed by a flick of an apologetic tongue. I'm paralyzed with sensations that rip through me in drums of powerful desire that prick my skin like needles. His lips purse and blow hot air against wet tips gleaming with his saliva.

I want to return the favor.

My hands push his jacket off his shoulders then fumble for the bottom of his shirt. He reaches and pulls from the back of his neck, up and over his head, where it joins my carelessly discarded dress. His body is so built, every solid muscle worked up into a tight bulge beneath pale, soft skin that tenses beneath my touch and turns to gooseflesh.

My lips seek out that special place over his heart and press gently, once, twice. I feel him shudder below me in response and my tongue slips out and circles his nipple before I bare teeth that clamp down and pull. The deep, pleasurable sound he makes stirs me on to trail kisses upward to his chin, his lips, his brows…and then I lose myself in his wild fucking hair.

"You're so fucking sexy, Bella," he hisses between my breasts, his breath searing my skin, making me quiver in his arms. "I want you all the time—all the fucking time, baby." He grunts and thrusts up from the seat to press his cock against my pussy. I need him naked, like, now. I go for his fly and we both fight with his belt and jeans to get them down past his knees.

"I need you, Edward. I want you and this amazing fucking cock of yours." I pause and wrap my fingers around it, sliding my fisted hands up and down his length. "I love it in my mouth, in my pussy, between my tits…" I palm over the head of his dick and press a thumb into the slit at the top, smearing the drops of pre-cum all over.

"Ah!" He reacts by grabbing my ass with hands that squeeze and fingers that dig so deep that his nails delve into skin like a knife through butter. "That's it, baby. Just like that. Make me beg for it."

The power I have over him is an aphrodisiac straight to the apex between my thighs. I feel empowered and sexy, desirable and feral. I can make him say and do whatever I want right now. I can make him beg and plead for me.

The seat reclines with his chin in the air and his throat open for me to kiss, bite, and lick at my leisure. "Will it always be like this, Edward?" I ask in a husky voice. "I'll never get enough."

"Always," he says with one hand around the thin material at my hip, which he twists and, in one quick yank, rips them right off of me. His aggressive behavior make my pussy throb with a need that only he can fulfill—because no one else knows my body the way he does.

He lifts me and my hand shakes in anticipation as I reach down to line us up just before he slams me back down onto his cock—and it's so good I sink my teeth into his shoulder and scream into his skin. He's plunged deep inside of me to the hilt so hard that my ass slapped against his thighs. I suck in a gasp and hold it—he's so deep in me that I swear I can feel him in my stomach.

"Ooh, f-fuck!" I repeat over and over, unable to form a clear thought—just sensations. This is my favorite part; this is when I feel the closest to him—like we're one body and it feels so, so fucking good. Hard pulses clenching and unclenching around his girth, vibration from his chest to mine as he growls deep within his throat while he struggles to wait for me to adjust. I'm so tight and he's so hard. There's always a delicious stretch inside of me no matter how slow or fast, gentle or rough, he is when he slides or pounds his cock into me.

He raises his chin and our lips touch once, twice, before I start to roll my hips over his slowly, and it makes me gasp and moan as his cock touches and ignites parts inside of me that only he knows how. Parts that make me shudder in his grasp, make me lose focus, make me give myself over to him completely and pray that he won't stop. My clit rubs his pubic bone with every move we make and I swear it's like nothing exists but for that sensation alone.

"Yeah, right there—fuck yes, just like that, baby," he groans into my ear hungrily. "Ride my cock, Isabella."

His words stir me on.

"Edward..." I pant over him, speeding up my thrusts and undulating my hips harder, until I'm practically bouncing in his lap. I hug his face into my neck, crush my fingers in his hair, and squeeze him between my thighs while he pushes and pulls and takes over with his hands at my hips. My heart flutters, my lungs burn, and my mouth falls open but no sound comes out. He sucks my skin between his teeth hard, borderline painful, but then his tongue slicks over his bite—a silent apology that leaves my skin wet and cool when he pants over the damp surface.

"Fuck, I'm close. Touch yourself, baby." He takes one of my hands from his hair and guides it down between us.

I touch the tips of my fingers to my clit, and then down further to feel his cock slide in and out of my pussy. It's erotic, and ten times more arousing than watching it—we're slick and wet, and he's so firm and big. I whine and bite down onto my lip, eyes closing, head falling back, hips rising, circling, pushing, pulling...

I shiver and feel his thumb push my fingers aside to circle my clit to perfection as the buildup finally comes to a head. I start to uncoil. A controlling sense of awareness hits me as my stomach and pelvis tighten like a fist is squeezing and then slowly pushing the tension down to my pussy where it pulses and throbs until it explodes. And it's so intense I have to grab onto Edward's shoulders for balance while I arch into him, and a sob pushes past my lips as I cry his name out repeatedly.

He speeds up his pace and lifts his hips up into mine while yanking me down, our flesh slaps and sticks and slides against each other. I gasp and hold onto him while I ride out my orgasm, but it seems to only intensify and build up all over again. I'm spinning and he's starting to shout curses between moaning my name, and his arms wrap around my waist so that I'm flush against him. He breathes deeply with hands gripped against the back of my shoulders, yanking me down as he thrusts up at random.

"I love you," I continuously whisper into his ear as I feel the waves of pleasure shock me. "I need you, please," I beg him, and he stiffens and grunts and moans, then I feel him pulse and release inside—spilling his seed inside me, filling me with everything that makes him mine. He lifts his chin so that I cover his mouth with mine and swallow his throaty growl while we push and pull in the aftershock. His rhythm finally begins to slow into mine in short spasms before he exhales and collapses into the crook of my shoulder.

"Oh, fuck, Bella. I love you." He pants and grabs my face roughly to plunge his tongue between my lips. "You fucking own me, baby. All of me." He struggles for breath and instinctively I move against his softening cock, rocking out those last few zings of bliss.

I kiss his cheek and move my mouth to his ear. "Never stop."

-x-

FACEBOOK Status:

Emmett McCarty Will someone please locate the birthday girl before I put up flyers and put her on a milk carton?

Comments:

Kate Stone I can guess where she is…

Makenna Levine haha, yeah, me too. did you see the way they were eye-fucking before we left?

-x-

Kate said that Jasper isn't coming, which is a relief because I don't want Edward to get upset. Not to mention that I'm still not on speaking terms with Jasper myself—he hasn't even tired to apologize for what he said to me that day in the Snack Shack. He hardly comes to school anymore, and when he does he only talks to Emmett. It's obvious something is going on with him, but I can't allow myself to get involved.

He's not my boyfriend anymore.

"Hey." Edward's voice draws me back into the present and I tilt my head closer to his outstretched hand and rub my cheek against his fingers.

"Hey." I smile at him and scoot closer when he jerks his chin for me to do so.

"What's the matter, pretty girl?" he asks me with a slight wrinkle in his brow.

I shake my head and shrug. "Just thinking about stuff and how much you being here means to me."

His arm snakes around my waist and his hand settles on my hip. "I told you that I'm trying, Bella. This is me doing that."

"I know." I curl into him and press my forehead beneath his chin only to pull back to nuzzle him with my nose. "Tonight has been perfect."

His fingers dig into my thigh. "Night's not over yet." I grin and rest my head at his shoulder and Edward says, "So, about that tattoo you want to get…"

I twist my fingers at the front of his shirt and pull him over so I can kiss his face. "What about it?" I whisper up into his ear.

"I was thinking my name…" he pauses and his hand slithers down my waist, past my hip, and around to between my knees and works its way back up, "right…" I suck in a quick gasp and hold it in anticipation, "here." His fingers stop just short of the promised land.

I shiver and bring my leg up to hook it below his knee. Good thing he's driving like a granny right now, I'm pretty sure we'd be in a ditch otherwise. "Will you come with me?" I breathe hotly against his jaw line and nip at his prickly skin. "Hold my hand for me? Distract me if it hurts too much?"

"Fuuuck, Bella." He hisses through gritted teeth and it's then, as we skid and bump up Emmett's driveway, that I realize we've arrived.

He leaves the engine running and revs a loud roar so that his flowmasters alert everyone inside and outside the house of our presence. It causes the entire Impala to vibrate, and it adds to the burning fire of lust inside of me. He scares a couple of kids on his second rev and causes one of them to drop their drink where it splatters all over their shoes.

He's such an asshole.

I fucking love him.

I jump into his lap and grind myself into him so good that I have to pull back and roll my hips again two more times, and his mouth latches onto mine, hot and wet, and his teeth tease and bite at my bottom lip savagely. The engine continues to run and the mufflers shake and snarl viciously as Edward's foot presses harder and harder. It turns me on so hard that I forget where we are and who is watching and I rub up and down his jean-covered cock like a wanton slut.

I'm ravenous and insatiable tonight.

"Jesus—shit—what are you doing?" He grunts and thrusts up into me then grips my hips and slams me down onto his erection. "Oh, fuck… Baby, are you wet for me again?" he groans and slips a hand between us so that he can slick the tips of his fingers up and down my slit. "Jesus, you'll be the end of me, Bella Swan."

I moan into his mouth in response.

"Hey, lovebirds!" Jacob's voice is too close for comfort, and the hand he slams down onto the roof of the car snaps both Edward and me back into focus like a bucket of cold water. "Get a room!" Jake makes a disgusted face and turns away to cover his eyes with Makenna's hands.

"Don't fucking touch my car, fuckface!" Edward shouts angrily at the rolled up window and scowls at the middle finger Jake shows him.

Embarrassed and still too turned on to move, I bury my face in Edward's neck. "Oh, my God."

"Fucking, Jake." His guttural growl is tight and filled with unleashed energy. "You okay?" He kisses my cheek and his fingers cradle the back of my head so that we stare into each other's eyes.

I can only nod.

"Get-out-of-the-car," Jake enunciates as if we're incapable of intelligent thought.

I pull out of Edward's lap and realize that I need serious clean up on aisle Isabella, stat. I wrinkle my nose and rub my thighs together instinctively while Edward kills the engine and pockets his keys before throwing open the driver's side door.

"Ah, fuck you." He makes a face at Jake's wiggling brow.

I'm about to ask why we're parked in the driveway until I look up and see a sign taped to the pole of a portable basketball hoop that says: This spot is for Bella Swan only! All other vehicles will be egged and defiled.

Oh, Emmett, you got to love him irrevocably.

"Okay, before we go inside." Kate motions me to come over and stops me a few inches in front of her and whips out what looks like a sash, followed shortly by something being put on my head from behind— Mak, I assume.

I find out that I've been crowned with a very gaudy and fake diamond tiara—to which I shout loudly, "Ooh, it's a tiaraaaa!" The sash that's pulled over my head is white with gold trim, and in glittery gold letters it says: 18th Birthday Diva!

I can hear loud music and lots of cheerful voices the closer we get to the front door. I seriously cannot fathom how many cars are out front and how many bodies crowd the walkway to the front door. Walking inside, I'm greeted with multiple shouts of "Happy Birthday!" and "Hey, it's the Birthday Girl!"

Then I take a good look around and I realize that the house is covered with My Little Pony birthday decorations. Colorful cartoon horses hang from the ceiling between yards of pastel streamers that span the entire length of the house. I can't believe my eyes, and I can't stop laughing at what my eyes are seeing! The further I walk inside the more ridiculousness I see, and when I head toward the drinks I stop cold and my jaw drops open.

"Is that a…" I can only point at the giant display in front of me on the center island in the enormous kitchen.

Emmett's grin grows wider—if that's even possible—and he nods his head vigorously before he walks over and grabs a wooden skewer, stabs a marshmallow and a strawberry, and places it in my hand. "Happy birthday, Smalls! You like?"

I inch my way closer to the most amazing chocolate fountain I have ever seen in real life. It's easily three feet wide and nearly that tall. It pumps gooey milk chocolate like it's straight from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I dip my skewer beneath a chocolate fall and bring it up to my lips.

"Oh, mah gaw!" I moan through a mouthful of deliciousness. "Bey, you hah tu tye tis!" With wide eyes I stab a large strawberry and dip it then shove it in Edward's face.

He totally looks like he wants to tell me to shove it up my ass, but it's my birthday, so instead of being an ass he slowly opens his mouth. He takes a large, sensual bite and licks his delicious lips and smirks at me because he knows I want to shove him into a closet and have my way with him. A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest and I clamp down on my bottom lip to keep from whimpering.

"You're right, that was good." He licks his lips again and I start to feel lightheaded.

"Don't start," Jake groans, and Mak giggles and kisses his cheek.

Emmett slaps his hands together and bounces on the balls of his feet. "You haven't seen the best part yet!" He reaches out to grab me but stops suddenly when he remembers Edward. "Uh…" Emmett laughs somewhat nervously and nods his head. "S'up, Cullen?"

Edward raises his chin as a greeting and then pulls me over to stand in front of him.

Possessive fucker. I roll my eyes and drag Edward with me to follow Emmett toward what I think leads to the garage. Emmett opens the door and waits for me to pass through with Edward before he flips the lights on, and all of a sudden a bunch of people shout, "Surprise!"

My eyes widen as they take in everything from Jessica holding a sparkly baton to Tyler with rope wrapped around one of his hands. The whole squad is here, along with others, but I can't stop staring at the gigantic cock-shaped piñata that's dangling from the ceiling. It's pink and huge and has a face!

"Oh… my…" I can't even finish my sentence. "Who…" My head swishes side to side. "Wha—why?" I end up laughing, and when I look over at Edward he's pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his bowed head.

Makenna lifts her phone to take a picture, which then reminds me that I have my own camera, and I take a picture, too. This makes everyone want a picture next to the giant cock piñata, and with lots of prompting and begging—lots and lots of begging—I get Edward to take a few vulgar shots with me.

"I love it!" Kate shouts, and I feel like a celebrity from all the fucking flashing lights around me. "This is so going on Facebook," Kate giggles and starts pressing buttons on her phone.

"Okay! I'm going to beat the cock now!" I hold my hand out for the bedazzled baton, not thinking about what I've just said.

Emmett snickers like a five-year-old. "Really? You want to beat the cock, huh?"

"Uh, yeah?" I look at him in confusion. "And I've also decided his name is Owen."

"And you're going to—" he stops to giggle like a little girl, "—beat it?"

Everyone howls with laughter. I close my eyes and wait for Makenna to blindfold me. She starts to spin me around—I know Jake must be helping her because I feel two sets of hands on me.

"I'm gonna puke!" I warn them as they stop to push me forward a few steps.

"All right, slugger," Jake snickers, "swing away."

I swing.

Emmett starts up a chorus of Michael Jackson's "Beat It" and my first attempt hits air—you can hear the baton break wind with a whoosh sound. I take a step to the left and swing again, but I must be way off because I hear a few gasps and shrieks when I do. Shit, where is that fucker? My swings run wild in frustration and I can hear everyone dodge and yelp to get away.

"I think putting you in a closed room, blinded folded, and with a bat, was a bad idea. But then again, it was raining," Emmett says behind me.

That sets everyone off laughing at my horrible aim.

I even laugh a bit myself. "Shut up, you assholes!"

My palms feel sweaty and adrenaline surges throughout my nervous system. I take a breath and try finding my chi. When that doesn't work I swing away like Joaquin Phoenix from the Signs. It isn't until I feel the baton finally smack that I get excited and shout, "Oh, yeeeeeah, baby—that's right!"

"Damn, Cullen. Does she talk to you like that in the bedroom?" someone shouts, and right then everything stops—I even stop, and since I'm blindfolded I get smacked in the face with the giant cock when it swings back toward me.

"Shit!" Edward yells and I feel his hands on my back, keeping me from falling on my ass. "Jesus, Bella, you suck at this," he chuckles into my ear.

I feel my body relax at his playful tone. "Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" I quirk my brow in his direction teasingly and he playfully pats my ass.

"In the bedroom, yes," he purrs. I'm still blindfolded, but I know he's smirking right now.

I'm about to tell him to kiss my ass when a voice cuts through the crowd and shouts, "Come on, doll! You got this!"

"Royce?" I lift my hand to pull the blindfold from my eyes. "Oh, my God—you came!" I run over to him like he's just come back from Iraq or some shit.

"Oof!" he grunts as I smash into the front of his chest and his arms wrap around my back. "I had some shit to do earlier, doll. I'm sorry," he says after we pull apart and I ask where he was. "Please say you forgive me, because Rose will kick my ass otherwise." He then gives me pouty-face.

"I'll kick your ass!" I sock him hard in his shoulder.

His mouth drops open in shock and he turns to Edward. "You see how your girl treats me? No respect!" He winces and grabs his shoulder like it's broken. "You can hit me with no problem and yet you miss a giant cock? Seriously?"

"That's it! Give me that damn thing!" I yank the baton from Edward and beat the ever-loving life out of that damn papier-mâché penis.

My third swing breaks a hole beneath the balls—making every guy in the room wince—and fucking glitter and confetti comes pouring out all over me. I laugh and look down to see that condoms are also thrown into the mix along with cherry lollipops.

"You have some very perverted friends, Ms. Swan." Edward slips in from behind me and pulls me against him so that his mouth is at my ear.

I reach around and press my lips to his. "You love it." I grin into our kiss.

"I love you." He shoves his tongue in my mouth.

-x-

FACEBOOK Status:

Kate Stone KARAOKE TIIIIIIME!

Comments:

47 people like this.

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Message from Rosalie Hale to Lauren Mallory.

Rosalie Hale who has sung what so far?

Lauren Mallory Bella sang Gucci Gucci by Kreashawn

Rosalie Hale LOL! I love it!

Lauren Mallory Em sang KP's Peacock n butted in on Garrett's turn of KP's I Kissed a Girl. It was SO funny! They bumped butts n Em knocked Gar over!

Rosalie Hale PMSL! Wish I was there!

Lauren Mallory Chels is singing Diva w/this girl Mak right now.

Lauren Mallory we miss you!


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Wall Post: to Makenna Levine from Jacob Black

Jacob Black you look so damn hot up there right now

Comments:

Bella Swan I'm taking her home tonight, Jake—jealous?

Jacob Black oh hell no!

Emily Clearwater lol sounds like you're having fun!

Jacob Black stay away from my gf, Bella!

Jacob Black stop grabbing my gf's ass, Bella!

11 people like this.

-x-

There is cake everywhere.

In my mouth, in my eyes, my nose—my ears! But I can't stop laughing and adding to the mess with handfuls of frosting and what looks like smashed Doritos. Edward is against the farthest wall in the kitchen laughing at me and shaking his head with my camera in his hand.

It all started out so innocently. A giant cake was wheeled out with a big 1 and 8 on top as candles. I leaned over and made a wish, and right after I blew out the flames Royce smashed my face into the fucking cake. I was so surprised that it took me a few seconds to compose myself enough to pull my damn face out! But when I did, all hell broke loose.

Apparently, Royce told me that Rosalie had given strict orders to christen the cake with my face. Emmett piped in afterward to confirm that he was to be the backup smasher if Royce failed. That had turned into one awkward-ass moment.

A flash brings me back into the present to flip Edward the bird with my food-covered finger. I stick my tongue out at him and he takes another snapshot. Royce is cursing and trying to rub the crap out of his hair and I giggle and feel bad for him when I see that he has blue frosting up his nose.

Makenna bumps into me from behind and ducks a handful of crud from Jake, who ends up smashing it into Royce's shoulder. Mak and I fall all over ourselves laughing at the look of betrayal on Roy's face and the look of absolute shock from Jake.

"Where is Cullen?" Mak asks while wiping my face with a napkin.

I motion to the corner of the room. "Being a party pooper over there. He doesn't want to get anything on his shoes."

Which I suppose is a good idea seeing as how I spent a fortune on them.

"Bella!" Chelsea rushes up to us and hugs me to her drunkenly. "Oh my gosh, girl, happy birthday! You are, like, the bestest cheer coach ever, and I love you and love you and love you forever!" She kisses me square on the mouth and—flash!

"Damn it, Edward!" I laugh and attempt to scold him. He wiggles his brows and his shoulders shake with laughter.

"Let's go clean up," Mak says into my ear. "I feel like I snorted a cupcake right now." We both cover our mouths to try to hold back giggles.

I've been here so many times in my past that it doesn't even feel weird to run through Emmett's house like I am right now. Like fools, Mak and I rush into the upstairs bathroom and slam the door shut only to have someone pound on the other side. With wide eyes, Mak and I look at each other in mock horror as we think up in our minds who the hell it could be.

"You guys! Let me in! Let me in! I gotta pee!" Kate whines and knocks repeatedly on the door like she's Sheldon Cooper.

I grin and open the door.

"'Bout time! I almost pissed myself!" she shrieks and zips past us to plop down onto the toilet.

Mak and I busy ourselves with cleaning up the mess of frosting and cake from every orifice of our bodies while we try to pretend Kate isn't humming to herself as she tries to pee. But she isn't peeing. I want to laugh so badly, but instead I turn the faucet on and Kate squeals happily with a satisfied, "Ahhh…"

"Gross." I laugh to myself and get a wad of paper towels to swipe over my neck. Mak and I take turns helping each other out, and then Kate suggests we all take turns in the shower.

Twenty minutes later we're all tip-toeing down the stairs with wet hair and fresh faces. Not a hint of makeup and we're all so buzzed—thanks to the joint Mak stole from Jake—we don't even care. At the moment, I still feel like a rock star. Kate and Mak said I look more like a drunken prom date, but I digress.

"Where were—is your hair wet? Do—did you take a shower?" Edward lifts a lock of my hair and sniffs it. "No wonder you three took forever. We though you fell in the toilet."

I smack him playfully and roll my eyes. "You ready to go, babe? It's almost midnight."

"It's eleven thirty." I arch my brow curiously. "The night hasn't even begun yet, old man," I tease him and lightly jab at his stomach.

He takes my wrists and lifts them up to his lips. "I know, but I want to give you your present now."

My eyes fly open. "Presents?" I grin. "Say no more, gramps, let's blow this joint!"

He laughs and shakes his head. "Why are you calling me old?"

"Because, technically, for the next…" I pull my phone out and check the exact time, "…twenty-seven minutes, I'm still underage and you're the adult." I poke his chest. "You're my ol' man."

He chuckles and pulls me in for a kiss. "You're such a dork, Bella."

-x-

It takes both Royce and Jake's backseats—because Edward is big baby and doesn't want a big mess in his car—to stash all my birthday swag. I can't believe that many people willingly spent money on me. The bigger bags are from Emmett and half of those, he tells me, are actually from Rose.

I love her.

"Where are we going?" I ask Edward for, like, the fifth time since we passed the exit that would take us to his apartment.

"I told you, it's a surprise," he repeats calmly and with a slight smirk on his face.

I wiggle my foot on my knee and stare outside. "Are we there yet?"

"Seriously?" He laughs.

I sigh and grab his iPod to scroll through his songs. Coming across an awesome cover by Hugo, I select the song and turn to Edward just as it starts. "If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you, son, I got ninety-nine problems and a bitch ain't one." When the bluegrass music starts I start bopping my head and slapping my thigh to the beat.

"When did you put this on here?" Edward asks, looking confused and oh-so-adorable. I shrug innocently while singing along and soon Edward laughs and belts out the lyrics with me.

I love this boy so much that it's crazy.

-x-

I stare at him silently.

"Relax, I have a key," he says when we park in the dark and abandoned parking lot of the Forks Senior Community Center.

I purse my lips and look at the obviously closed building. "That doesn't mean you can come and go as you want, Edward."

He rolls his eyes and pushes his door open. I gape and scramble across the seat to slip out his door behind him.

"Are you crazy?" I hiss under my breath as if someone is going to find us if I speak any louder.

He looks directly in my eyes and says, "Duh."

My head falls back in exasperation. "I'm barely eighteen and already I'm about to be picked up by the cops."

He laughs and pulls me to his side. "Nah, you got six more minutes." I shake my head and bury my face in his shoulder. "What? I wanted to make sure when I gave you your gift it was on your actual birthday." He kisses my lips. "Happy birthday."

I blush at his romantic side. Damn him.

"Now, stop bitching and stick to the shadows." He smacks my ass and slinks off toward the back of the building.

"My hero." I shake my head at him and run across the lawn as secretively as I can. I feel like Mission Impossible with my light steps and stealth-like moves. That is until Edward stops suddenly and I ram straight into him and fall backward right onto my ass.

It takes him nearly a whole minute before he can stop laughing enough to help me up. But the joke is on him when I pretend that I twisted my ankle again and give him a trembling lower lip, to which he immediately feels bad and swoops me up into his arms to carry me the rest of the way.

Sucker.

"Oh, shit!" He drops me to the ground and falls into a hunch just as a stream from a flashlight flies past. "You all right?" He looks over at my crumbled form on the ground.

I flip him the bird and roll over onto my knees. "I swear on my life, Edward, if we get in trouble…" I shake my head.

"Hey." He takes my hand in his. "Live a little, huh?" He kisses the back of my hand and I smirk and allow him to pull me further into the shadows.

I can feel my heart beating like crazy inside of my chest, and as scared as I am about getting caught, I also have never felt so alive as I do holding onto Edward's hand as we run from one end of the building to the other, struggling to keep our laughing to a minimum. Our faces burn with a hot flush of blood behind our cheeks, and with giant grins and sparkling eyes, we turn to each other and exhale at the same time.

"That was close," he whispers to me, and then I feel his hand on the small of my back leading me around a corner.

I giggle to myself and run a hand through my crazy hair. "Yeah, I can't believe we…" The sentence runs dead on my lips as I stare at the larger-than-life security guard who stands in front of the back door to the community center. He's well over six-foot-five, and with dark caramel skin and biceps the size of my fucking head he crosses his arms over his broad chest and lifts his chin at us like a challenge.

"Can I help you?" he growls in a voice that belongs to a silverback gorilla and looks down at his wristwatch. "I'd say you have about…two minutes before the black and whites get here to haul your asses off to jail."

Oh, my God. We're going to be arrested. Happy birthday, Bella. Here is your first crime as an adult that will go straight on your permanent record, and thank GOD college app background checks have already been done. Shit, shit—shit!

"Two minutes, huh?" Edward is the picture of calm. "A lot can happen in two minutes."

How can he be so fucking cavalier right now? I cringe as I watch the big guy crack his knuckles like he's itching for a fight. Oh, my God. The Hulk is going to crush the love of my life like a grain of salt between his fingers. My heart is going to conk out any second; it's beating so hard.

"Edward!" I hiss up at him as I clutch his side like a koala bear. "Let's go!" I start to yank on his jacket so that he'll follow me, but instead all he does is palm my cheek and wink at me. I blink up at him in shock and then gasp when he turns away from me and approaches the King Kong of security guards with his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face.

"All right, enough. You're scaring my girl, here." He snorts and then reaches out for me to come to him. Which I do so, hesitantly.

"Fuck, Cullen. What took you so long?" Andre the Giant raises his boa constrictor arms above his bald head and stretches with a deep yawn. "Roy said you'd be 'bout an hour, and I told my lady I'd swing by for a few. If I don't get my dick wet tonight, it's on you." He points at my boyfriend in annoyance and then tosses a set of keys into the air as he leaves his post and goes for the parking lot.

Edward catches them one handed and shouts out playfully, "Thanks, Odin!"

"Yeah, yeah." Odin waves a hand over his shoulder as he continues toward the parking lot.

"Ready?" Edward swings what looks like a black men's tie around his fingers back and forth.

"You're an ass." I glare at him. "I seriously thought he was about to crush you."

He laughs at me and then pulls me to him so that he can kiss my lips once, twice, three times before wrapping the black tie around my eyes. "Don't peak, it's a surprise."

"A kinky one?" I poke playfully at his stomach.

"Not yet." He slaps my ass and then I'm turned around and lead forward with Edward at my back, hands at my waist, chin on my shoulder. "I'm gonna sit you down on this bench, so don't freak out."

I wrinkle my brow, curious as to why it would freak me out, but then I understand when Edward literally sweeps me off of my feet and down onto a wooden bench. I laugh nervously and wonder what the hell it is he has planned for me. Edward isn't known for such elaborate schemes—at least not when it comes to surprising me like this.

I can hear him walk from one end of the room to the other, rearranging and moving things that are both heavy and light—I can tell by the change in his breath, like a grunt if he picks up something heavy. Then there is the unmistakable flick from a lighter, the slide of a match, and the catch of an igniting flame followed shortly by that distinguishable odor of sulfur dioxide that prickles my sense of smell into overdrive. I love that scent.

Finally, he makes his way back to me and I feel him settle down on the bench to my right but facing the opposite direction. I frown at this, my curiosity going into overdrive, and turn my head in his direction. I feel his hand on my face and then his lips on mine. I smile into him and reach to pull him closer, which makes his chest vibrate with laughter.

"Ready?" he whispers against my mouth, and when I nod he starts to unravel the blindfold from my eyes. "Happy birthday, Bella." His words are warm at my ear and cause me to smile and take his hand.

"Thank y—" The words die on my tongue as I take a look around the room in pure shock. "Edward…" I stand up from the bench and twist around to see everything he's done to the place.

We're in what looks to be the music area of the center, we're seated at the piano, and around us are other musical instruments that have been placed into stands and hung from the walls. Walls that glow from the candles that have been lit around the room and white Christmas lights that dangle like part of the wallpaper.

"Oh, wow, Edward." I turn to look at him and feel my eyes well up and my lip tremble. "I can't believe…" I shake my head and bury my face in his neck when he gets up and wraps his arms around me. "I wish I thought to bring my camera." I squeeze him tightly. "I want to remember this moment right here forever."

He kisses just below my ear. "Some things aren't meant to be captured by a camera." One of his hands glides up my chest and settles over my heart. "But right here is a good place to store them, or so I'm told. And I'm pretty sure there's no delete button in there." His accompanying wink makes my tummy flutter as the floor drops out when he takes my hand and presses it to his own heart. "You have no idea how many memories I have of you in here."

I'm breathless from his words. "That is literally the most amazing and beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me."

His lips pull into a teasing smirk. "I have my moments."

"That you do." I smile back and pull his head down to mine for a kiss.

He slows it down quickly after and leads me back to the bench where we sit in front of the keys but turned to face each other this time. "C'mere." He takes my hands and slides me closer to him as he presses a kiss to them. "I know I'm not perfect, and that I've been an unworthy asshole to you." His eyes stare into mine intensely. "And you have been more than understanding, and…fuck, Bella, you're amazing and smart and beautiful. And I've been busting my ass lately to be a better person for you."

I fight back tears as I touch his cheek. "I know you have, and I'm so proud of you, babe."

His lips press to my open palm. "I really fucking love you, Bella Swan."

"I love you, too." My chest feels so full right now.

He takes a deep breath and sets my hands down before turning to the piano.

"I didn't know you played," I ask in surprise.

"I don't." He snickers. "This is why I've been putting in so much time at the senior center." His fingertips graze the keys and he starts up a soft rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. We both bust up laughing until he says, "Just kidding."

Then he really starts to play, and it's like nothing I've ever heard before. I'm not very into classical music, and I usually only listen to the piano if there's an instrumental track on a CD single, but listening to Edward play makes me want to start.

It's simple, uncomplicated—soft and smooth. It makes me think of Birdy's instrumental version of Bon Iver's Skinny Love, but more melodious. I watch him in rapt attention, watching his long fingers curl and flex as they press and pull back against the ivory keys. His face is determined, his focus on what he's doing and nothing else. Like he's in a whole other world and I'm lucky enough to accompany him into it.

It's beautiful.

When the song comes to an end, I pull him to me and hold him as hard as I can. I tell him how amazing it sounded and how much I loved it—and him. He says that one of the regulars in the center, Mrs. Gilbert, used to be a composer and would bug him all the time. She'd say he had the perfect "pianist hands", and after numerous attempts to get him to sit beside her at the piano, he caved. They started with simple things like childhood nursery rhymes—Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star and Frère Jacques.

Then one day she was playing something that was beautiful, but after the first few chords she would get frustrated with it and replay the same part over and over until Edward finally asked her what the deal was. To which she then made a deal with him—a preapproved conversation she had with his probation officer without his knowledge. She promised she would get the rest of his community hours signed off if he played the piano with her.

And not just play, but compose. She wanted help finishing the current song she was working on because it would be her last. Over the last four weeks the two grew close—and inside I realize that this is also around the time he started to change for the better. They finally finished the song last week and he's been practicing it ever since.

"She even said I could name it, because apparently I earned it for not pissing her off like she thought I would have." He laughs softly and rubs his thumb along my jaw.

"So what did you name it, then?" I ask as I lean into his hand.

His thumb passes over my lips feather-soft and he says, "Bella's Lullaby."

-x-

Life's too short to even care at all oh

I'm coming up now coming up now out of the blue

These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart

Oh oh oh oh

A dark world aches for a splash of the sun oh oh

If I could find a way to see this straight

I'd run away

To some fortune that I should have found by now

And so I run now to the things they said could restore me

Restore life the way it should be

I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down

Life's too short to even care at all oh

I'm losing my mind losing my mind

losing control

-x-

AN: This chapter's title (as well as posted lyrics above) refers to the song Cough Syrup sung by Melanie Martinez. Original artist is Young The Giant.

TK FIC REC: A Secondhand Spark by queenofgrey.

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