A/N: This is all written under the assumption that they've never touched skin to skin. First story on here for three years, let's see how this goes. Multi chapter fic.

While writing this I listened to two songs:
Hold On by Angus and Julia Stone

Hey You by Pony Pony Run Run

If you want to have a small playlist to have while reading. I didn't even know I was writing this until that last sentence. orz


Izaya isn't the type to believe in things like people being made for one another. A part of a whole is what he'd come down to be, and that isn't good enough. A part is dependent on the other piece, decisions are made carelessly when it comes down to it, and many say that after you find your other half and lose it, it's worse than death. Sure there's the famous 'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all', but there are many of the precious humans that he's dealt with who have either killed or been killed in the name of love, whether it be lost or for the fear of losing it.

Such drastic measures caused by feeling for one person. It's hard to imagine, but there are the facts so it must be true. Orihara Izaya hasn't thought very hard on the subject when it came to himself and love, or so he thinks.

There have been dreams that were had on late nights, dreams that make you think you are missing something, striving for something, hoping for something. Dreams that you wake up in the middle of, but immediately forget, leaving nothing behind but the remnants of a warm feeling that you know you may never get back, continue to subconsciously strive for.

No, Orihara Izaya hasn't thought hard on the subject. Yet he continues to strive for something that he thinks will make him better, reaching out and clawing forward towards a better self, something that will make him the best. His attempts have made him the number one information broker in all of Tokyo, gained him his infamous status along with many enemies.

Which brings him to this.

"Ne~, Namie-san. You know what the downfall of any hero of any movie is?" Izaya cooed from his place on the couch, resting his head on his arms, looking over the back of the couch.

Namie glanced up from the file that she had open in front of her, and gave him an uninterested look before looking back down. "Namieee-saan?" came another coo.

"What is it?" she asked without looking up this time.

Picking his head up, a smirk came across his face replacing the false pout that was there only moments before. "I'm glad you asked. Well, the answer is their significant other! Isn't that right? You're thinking back, aren't you? You're thinking about how right I am, aren't you?" his grin widened, talking animatedly now.

"It's true, right?" Izaya sighed, putting his chin in his hand in mock thought.

"If I had one, people would jump all over the chance to bring me down. Just think! They'd be kidnapped, I'd get a ransom call, bones would be broken, they'd expect me to come after them so they could gang up on me, then I could make a heroic escape with an almost life ending injury. But at the end of the movie, I'd be there, recovered and the world would be right again." he finished, arms waving before coming back down to his sides.

Looking at his secretary, he took in her face. "Are you joking." she said, not asked.

"No, which is why we should say we're going out." Izaya replied, the side of his head in his hand again, the smirk back in place.

"Why the hell would I after that being said?" she asked, file flopping down in her lap so she didn't have to look over it to give him an annoyed look.

"So you would have if I didn't?" he asked, his face the same as before. Another look from the woman. "I suppose not. But just think, no one would be able to kidnap you, and if you did end up getting kidnapped, I could really care less about what they did to you, they'd believe I don't have a heart, they wouldn't bother messing with me!" laughter rang out through the office, stopping after a few moments.

"They'd be right for once, then?" she asked, expression unchanging through the outburst.

"Ow, Namie-san, that hurt." he singsonged, holding onto his chest above his heart dramatically.

"Sometimes I wonder if you'd know you truly cared about someone." she commented, bringing the file up and beginning to let her eyes scan over it once again.

"What's it like then, when you care about someone?" he played along, his chin in both hands now, waiting.

"It is many things." Namie said as if in passing, her full attention someplace else.

"Hmmm? And how do you know if you do?"

"If you care for someone? You are happy to see them doing well, not when they aren't," she looked up pointedly at this, "You would willingly offer to do something that would hinder yourself in order to help them-"

"Mmm? I thought it was that special someone who got your pulse racing, someone you can't get your mind off of, that makes you think really hard, mostly with your-"

"What you're talking about is sex."

"Namiee-saan, don't interrupt me, I could always fire you, you know." Izaya announced, twirling his finger in the air seemingly without thinking, getting up and pulling on his coat as he headed towards the door.

"Taking a walk." he stated, unlocking the door.

"You mean getting into trouble." she said when he pulled it open.

"Same thing, yeah?"

The door clicked shut after a small wave was thrown back without turning around to see her intently watching him go.

A group of men who were talking amongst themselves towards the back of an alleyway began to disperse, keeping their heads low and glancing around when they emerged from their dark meeting place.

Sitting up in a fire escape on one of the buildings that made the alley, a small figure shifted.

" Doing business out in public during the day?" a dulled frown turned down the edges of the figures mouth. Within the next minute there was nobody left in the alley, the streets bustling with people past it and a stray animal could be heard rummaging around in the garbage.

With a hop in his step, Izaya headed farther away from the alley, planning on risking going to Russia Sushi. The ootori was mostly worth it and he hadn't seen Shizuo in more than 2 weeks so the blanket of a false sense of security fell over him as he smiled to himself. Russia Sushi it is.

His stomach twisting with the promise of food, a smile twisted his face once again as he grabbed his hands behind his back and happily strolled in the direction of the unique restaurant.

Feeling a small tapping on his shoe with each step, he looked down while still walking to notice one of his shoes had become untied. "Ah." he lamented to himself, stopping in order to bend down and get it. No sooner had he stopped and begin to bend down did he feel rather than see something large blow past inches from head and basically crumple into the side of the building he had been walking by. Having frozen halfway reaching out to his shoe, he first glanced up at the crumpled vending machine before warily turning his attention to where said vending machine came from, knowing what was coming next.

"IIIzaaayaaaa-kuuun."

Yes, as expected, a sea of people who had parted at the sound of the crash framed the blond.

"Ahaha, that was a little too close you know, Shizu-chan." Izaya half said to himself and to the slowly approaching Shizuo.

"Not close enough, if you ask me." the blond responded though clenched teeth, a forgotten cigarette caught in between them.

Now ten feet away, Shizuo stopped, full attention on Izaya, standing with his hands clenched inside his pockets and face as composed as a mad mans. "Didn't I tell you never to set foot in Ikebukuro again?" the man asked with a faulty smile on his face.

On Izaya's side, when Shizuo had been saying the words he had mouth them at the same time, closing his eyes and bobbing his head like he was listening to a lecture he got often. Which was entirely true. Yeah, it probably wasn't the right thing to do, considering the trashcan that had been to Shizuo's left was now flying towards the dark haired boy.

Nearly evading the close attack, Izaya's face took on more of a strained smile in response to the violent reaction. "Now, now, Shizu-chan. I was just on my way out, you really do have the worst timing." a fake smirk came back on his face at the lie.

"Shut up, you'd be going to other way if you were leaving, Flea."

"A~aa~, Shizu-chan caught me."

Looking down with an exaggerated huff, when he looked back up there was a defensive edge to his appearance, his hand coming out of where it had been shoved deep in his pocket and pulled out his switchblade, pointed right at the other.

"Well, my business here is done anyway, I really must be going." he hedged, taking a few small steps towards the alley behind him. Without further ado, his next small step was followed with a quick turn as he whipped around and sprinted down the alley with both hands in his pockets.

"Tch- Flea, get back here!" the blond yelled, chasing after him at a decent pace, mostly keeping up with him. Rounding a corner, Izaya took an awkward step to try to avoid some junk on the pavement, stepping down on his untied shoelace when he did, making him stumble while trying to regain his balance.

Unfortunately the precious seconds that took allowed Shizuo to catch up to him, reach around and grab him by the collar of his shirt, then push him up against the wall. Cursing the sky above, he knew it was going to be impossible to leave unscathed at this point.

"Ah, Shizu-chan, aggressive today, aren't we?"

The carefully planned sentence used to distract him from what he was about to do wasn't all that carefully planned.

Reaching into his pocket, the smirk he had on before looking pained, he pulled out the switchblade and swung, hoping for it to connect so that he may be able to slip away. It didn't make it very far though before getting stopped.

Everything stopped.

Then started again, this time it seemed to pass frame by frame, everything muted and happening unbearably slow. Izaya's whole body seemed to just completely slow down altogether. At this point the only things he was entirely aware of was his hitched breathing, eyes having gone wide to half lidded, eyelids fluttering while he switched his gaze to the sky, and what seemed like electricity starting from his wrist slowly sparked each one of his cells to a whole new sense of being, both lightening and weighing his chest.

In reality, nothing extraordinary happened. When Izaya had begun to swing his knife towards Shizuo, the other man had reached up and grabbed a hold of his wrist mid attack. In mere seconds the Izaya in front of him went completely ridged before his body completely relaxed, the knife dropped to the ground and so would the red eyed boy if Shizuo didn't have a firm grip on the front of his shirt.

Head plopping back against the cold alley wall behind him, Izaya regarded the other with hazy vision, breathing coming out shallow now before a small part of the brain that inched past the mind deadening effect that had taken over him began to think that this is what it would feel like to be drugged.

'Does being drugged make you hear a small heartbeat and make you feel like you just came 3 times?'

"-ammit the hell are-"

"on, Flea? Huh?"

A voice that had been going on all the while broke through his haze a little bit. He wanted to say something.

"..haahh..."

But he felt that if he did there would be a lot more embarrassing noises being made and a lot less audible shallow breathing. Or maybe more.

The ground seemed to rush up to him as the firm hands that had been holding him up suddenly dropped him. The haze was still there but the sounds of the city and other people talking farther away slammed back into the background of his life, near deafening to the sound of silence and a pulsing heart.

"What...What did you do to me."

On his knees holding his wrist, the warmth and sparks that danced in his chest coated his throat and made him sound completely strung out. He wasn't looking up, just hunched over, breathing heavily and keeping his arm close.

"Do to you? Are you kidding me? I haven't done anything, you're-"

"Then what is this?" he could hear his voice cracking, but couldn't see how vulnerable he looked right then. Brows furrowed, his eyes held none of the heat they usually do, only confusion and something Shizuo couldn't decipher. His mouth stayed open after he finished the sentence, breathing slow and deep like he just ran a race, been holding his breath, recovering after a mind-blowing sex session-

Senses startling at the thought, the taller man felt the back of his neck heat with embarrassment completely against his will. He mentally kicked himself, but couldn't help his eyes widening at this side of Orihama Izaya that he's never seen before.

Face tightening with- anxiety? Fear? Realization? - Izaya staggered to his feet and stumbled out of the alley as quickly as possible.

Having absolutely no idea what just happened, Shizuo just watched him go, pulling out a cigarette when he could no longer see him.

The sound of a lighter was heard flicking in the alley long after the other man had left.