Title: Mischievous Little Bugger
Author: Forsaken2003
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!
Summary: Sunnydale has a goblin onthe loose
Warnings/Spoilers: Season 5
Beta'd by: Whichclothes
Prompt #256 from tamingthemuse - Urchin

"It appears we have a gobelinus on our hands," Giles said once everyone was settled for the nightly meeting.

"A what?" Buffy asked, looking around for clarification.

Willow sat up straight. "Oh! I know this! It's an Urchin." Xander and Buffy just stared at her with blank looks. "A goblin."

"Why couldn't you just say that?" Xander asked, looking annoyed. Why did Willow and Giles feel the need to make him and Buffy feel dumb like that?

"Because the only thing they've got going for them is their brains," Spike told him. "While you, are sexy, funny and amazing in bed," he purred in Xander's ear.

"What about me?" Buffy whined and pouted.

Spike rolled his eyes. "You've got your strength." He wasn't about to compliment her any further; he didn't need Buffy going all girly on him and falling for him now did he?

Buffy huffed but seemed to accept the answer. "So how do we kill this goblin?"

"You don't," Giles said quickly. "This creature is not from our dimension, it probably doesn't even realize that it has left its own dimension. We are going to send it back."

Spike lit up a cigarette with the Zippo he had won in poker. "No killing? Why the bloody hell am I here then?"

"Because you are Xander's lapdog and you follow him wherever he goes?" Buffy replied and batted her eyelashes at him.

"Spike his not my lapdog. He is my lapvamp! He's an untamed beast that is crazy and you don't want to get on his bad side," Xander defended his boyfriend. "Also he likes sitting on my lap," he added with a grin.

This time it was Spike who huffed in semi-annoyance. There had been a slight compliment in there. "So how do we send this bugger back to its own world?"

Giles pulled out two containers. "I have already mixed the ingredients that we will need to send it on its way."

"Great!" Xander said and rubbed his hands together. "I'm sure we all already know but I got Spike!" he said and claimed Spike's hand.

"Of course, we would not expect anything else. Now you two will patrol the east side while Buffy and Willow patrol the west." Giles handed out four containers. "Just sprinkle or throw the contents on to him. There will be a bright red light so be prepared for that."

Buffy jumped out of her chair. "A- hunting we will go."

Xander whistled as he and Spike walked down yet another empty street. Just last year at this time there would have been dozens of people walking around but after Adam they all seemed to have wised up. "So do you know anything about goblins?"

"I know some. They are mischievous little buggers. They love stealing things," Spike replied. "Doesn't matter what it is, it can be a piece of string, a button, money, anything."

"I no steal," a childlike voice said from a tree branch. "I take what I want."

Spike and Xander both looked up to find what they guessed was the goblin. It stood two or three feet tall. It was thin and its skin was brown. "That would be stealing, mate," Spike said.

The goblin stuck his tongue out at Spike. "You meanie. I no like you." He jumped from the tree and landed in Xander's arms. "Hi!"

"Hi, what's your name?" Xander asked. The goblin really was quite cute.

"Name? I no name. Me number 22143," the goblin replied.

Spike and Xander looked at each other. "You don't have a name? That's sad," Xander said.

"Who cares if it has got a bloody name! We're sending it back to its world remember?" Spike said and scowled as 22143 snuggled in Xander's embrace.

"This not right world?" 22143 asked confused and sounded slightly lost. "That why I can't find 20234?"

Xander petted 22143 head and tried to soothe him. "It's all right. Who's 20234?"

"My birther," 22143 answered. His dark eyes welled up.

"Oh your mom," Xander said. "What if we can get you back to her?"

Dark eyes widened. "Back home? You send me back?"

"Yup, we're going to send you back so you can stop buggering up Sunnydale," Spike confirmed. Suddenly his arms were filled with 22143 cuddling him. Spike scrunched up his face. He did not cuddle…unless it was Xander. "Get off me!" Spike ordered and dumped the goblin onto the ground.

"Now this might seem scary, but I swear this won't hurt you," Xander said and pulled out the container. "Can you stay still?"

22143 nodded his head vigorously. "Me be still."

"Good, now close your eyes," Xander softly ordered. When 22143 did as he said Xander dumbed the powder onto his tiny head. Just like Giles had warned them there was a bright red light.

When both Spike and Xander could see again there was no trace of 22143.

"Good bloody riddance," Spike said and dug into his pocket for his cigarettes and Zippo. "That bloody ugly… URCHIN!"

"What? What did he do?" Xander asked, suddenly afraid that 22143 had somehow hurt Spike.

"The little bastard stole my Zippo!"

The End