Warning: this is probably the worst story ever written.

And I dedicate it to Madeline (chasingafterstarlight) and BlueEyes444. :D

Blue, because she's a pairing curruptor and I think she may like these pairings.

Mad, because she dared me to write this and I know she's just gonna love the end of this.


Voldy's pants

"Err, oh, wow, this is awkward," Voldemort mutters when Harry walks in the bedroom he shares with his wife, Ginny, only to find Ginny and Voldemort going at it like a couple of teenagers. Harry doesn't speak as Ginny let's out a manish shriek and jumps up.

She completely forgets her sheet, and completely exposes her hairy armpits, legs, belly button, and the rest of her disformed body.

Harry lets out a dramatic gasp and falls to his knees in agony. "Oh, Ginny! How could you do this! I mean, really?" He cries, wiping at his tears. It does no good - more replace them. "How could you forget to shave yourself like this? It's not something you an easily forget, after all! I mean, your hairs are black and obvious and unhideable! Merlin, you are so unhygienic." Harry mutters the last part to himself, shaking his head as Ginny pulls on her Barney bathrobe.

"That's not what your Uncle said last night," Ginny shoots back, pulling a flute out of now where. She starts to play – quite horrible, I feel I should add, as your narrator.

Suddenly, out of no where, Voldemort jumps up – in the process exposing parts of him Harry would have rather not seen – and pulls out a pair of pink ballet slippers from... Well, we have no idea where he got them.

He slides them on, and jumps up onto the bed, completely nude, and starts dancing like a ballet dancer.

"What in Merlin's pants?" Harry screams like a girl as he watches them both.

"Not Merlin's pant – Voldy's pants," Ginny giggles, taking a break from her flute.

Suddenly, green goo falls from the ceiling and Aston Kutcher comes out from the cup board and screams, "You've been punked!"

Everyone stares at him in confusion.

Well, everyone but Ginny, who throws her robe off and throws her hairy self onto him.

"Rape!" He screams, running out like a puppy, without realizing Ginny's on his back the whole time.

There's an awkward silence inside the bedroom, with the slime covered guys.

Finally, Voldemort turns to Harry. "Wanna snog?" He asks.

"...Only if you'll wear a black wig and I can call you Cho." Harry mutters after a few minutes.