Chapter 20 Futile Attempts

The next day, Logan wakes up to loud yelling. He blinks heavily and slowly makes his way out of bed. He looks across the room and sees James' bed is already empty. He shuffles out and heads into the living room.

He raises his eyebrows when he watches Katie trying to push pull James out of the apartment. The brunette is holding a vice grip on the doorpost however.

"Come on, James… You haven't been outside in forever. The sun is good for you!" Katie argues as she tries to push him now, making her feet slide across the floor, but he isn't moving an inch.

"No, I don't want to go outside!" James yells. Logan sighs.

"What's going on in here?" Mrs. Knight suddenly calls out from the staircase. "Katie, what are you doing?" She exclaims in shock.

"You told me to help the guys get better. I decided to start with James." The girl exclaims. She groans as she tries to put all her weight into pushing the reluctant James out the door.

"Katie, you weren't supposed to force them…" Mrs. Knight tells her as she ascends the stairs with a loud sigh.

"But he loves the sun, he loves tanning, he needs to go outside!" Katie argues as she continues to push the brunette, who tries to fight her with all his might. He is in a complete panic state and his knuckles are white as he holds the doorway so tightly.

"No, I'm not going!" James shouts out.

"Katie, stop it!" Mrs. Knight yells. The girl tries one more time. Then she lets go and turns to her mother to say something. She opens her mouth, but then shakes her head and runs out the door. "Katie!" Jennifer yells after her daughter, but the girl is already gone. She rubs a hand over her face and then looks at James, who syill hasn't let go.

"James, honey…" She starts as she puts a hand on his shoulder.

"No, I'm not going outside, you can't make me, no one can see me, ever!" He shouts with his eyes squeezed shut as he hugs his body to one of the doorposts.

Mrs. Knight sighs loudly. "Sweetie, you can let go now. She's already gone." She softly tells the boy. He opens his eyes and looks around. He smiles sheepishly and lets go of the door. He slowly walks backwards. "I'm sorry about that, I didn't know she would do that." Mrs. Knight says without looking at him. "But you know, honey, some sun might do you some good though." She carefully suggests.

His eyes grow wide and he walks backwards. "No, no! I'm not going out there!" he says, starting to protest right away.

"Honey, all I'm saying is, you know, you used to love tanning and maybe…" She suggests, but he shakes his head in a slight panic.

"No, I can't… They can't see me like this… I'm hideous and they'll hate me… I can't go out there, I just can't!" He screams as he runs to his room. He pushes Logan out of the doorway and slams the door shut. Logan flinches at the sound and then looks at Mrs. Knight.

"I wasn't trying to force him, I just thought it might do him some good. It might do all you boys some good to go outside and see your friends…" She explains, before sighing.

"It's ok, Mrs. Knight. He'll get over it. He just needs some time." Logan tells her with a small smile. She sighs again.

"I'm just going to look for Katie, make sure she's okay. Would you mind setting the table for breakfast? We haven't eaten yet, we wanted to make sure everyone was up and get our old routine going again." She tells him. He nods.

"Sure, no problem Mrs. Knight." She nods at him and heads out the door.

He looks back at his and James' closed bedroom door, letting out a deep breath and his smile fading. He shakes his head and slowly starts to set the table.

After he's done, he looks at the clock and sighs. Noon… Before they would have never gotten up this late. Although it did feel good to finally get some sleep again. He doesn't even know how that happened. He can't remember if he dreamt at all. That's good, no nightmare. He wonders if the other guys got any sleep.

James might have, because he didn't hear him at all. But that might have been because he was sleeping like a log himself.

He sits at the table, staring across the room. He smiles a little when he remembers all the time they spent here. It hasn't changed a bit. They had so much fun in here. All until…

His smile fades as other memories sneak in. He quickly shakes them off and stands up. He heads for Kendall and Carlos' room. He opens his mouth to call their names and decides not to. He lifts his hand to knock, but drops it again in slight defeat. Why was it so hard to do this now? Was he that scared of Kendall's reaction?

He bites his lip and then decides to turn to his own room. This time he does knock right away.

"James?" He tries to open the door and finds it locked. Who came up with putting a lock on this room anyway? He smiles suddenly when he remembers. James insisted on it after Carlos walked in on him getting dressed. Sure, they had showered together after hockey practice when they were kids plenty of times. And while James gladly showed off his well toned abs to girls, he was still self conscious over the rest of his body. Needless to say, he pulled out all the stops and got his way, giving the guys some privacy if they needed it.

But Mrs. Knight started to regret it after some time, when Carlos was locked out of his room for a tenth time that month and forced to either sleep on the couch or the floor of Logan and Kendall's room. She never get round to removing it apparently, since that last warning to James came just before they were…

He shakes off the memories again and knocks, louder this time.

"James? It's Logan. Open the door." He asks, not getting a response. He starts to feel frustrated and slams the door with an open palm. "Damn it, James. Just open the door! I just want to eat breakfast together!" He yells, breathing heavier. "James!" he shouts and turns around again, feeling tears come on.

The moment he turns, he can feel someone standing behind him. He turns on his heel in anger.

"What?" He yells out and his eyes widen at the frightened Kendall who nearly jumps into Carlos' arms behind him in shock. Logan's face softens immediately. "Kendall, I-I'm sorry… I didn't know you were…" he reaches out to him, but the blonde whimpers and hides behind Carlos, tightly fisting the back of his shirt. "I'm sorry…" Logan whispers as he hangs his head and goes to sit on the couch.

Carlos turns around and heads back into the bedroom, Kendall quickly trails after him. The Latino sits on his bed, head turned towards the living room. Kendall quietly comes to sit next to him.

"So uh… Aren't you happy to be back at the Palm Woods? 'Cause I am… I mean, I like Minnesota. But it's kind of cold there, you know?" Kendall softly tells Carlos. But the boy doesn't respond. "I missed this apartment, too. It's nice. Do you remember how we got Gustavo to build it?" He says, with a small smile. "I kind of miss Gustavo and Kelly. They did great things for us. What about you?" He shyly asks, but Carlos still doesn't respond. "Car… Carlos?"

But Carlos stares into the living room. He watches Logan as he sits on the orange couch by himself. From his viewpoint he can just see how Logan's shoulders are shaking.

"C-Carlos?" Kendall asks a little louder. When he still doesn't react, the blonde slowly and hesitantly moves a shaking hand to his shoulder. The second he touches the boy, he swiftly turns to him. He flinches and puts up his arms with a gasp. "I'm sorry… I'll be quiet, I promise…" He pleads. But instead of Carlos yelling or hurting him, he suddenly feels the boy grabbing his arm and dragging him off the bed.

Kendall looks up and tries to protest, but ends up having to almost run to keep up with the Latino as he drags the blonde into the living room. His eyes widen as he suddenly finds them standing next to the couch, which now holds a sniveling Logan.

When Logan hears a whimper besides him, he looks up. He wipes his red, puffy eyes and glances at Carlos and a terrified Kendall in confusion.

He's even more confused when Carlos pushes Kendall forward, towards him. Kendall's eyes widen. He shakes his head, but Carlos suddenly grabs his shoulders and pushes him to sit on the couch, next to Logan.

When Logan turns to Carlos to ask what's going on, the boy is already hurrying for their bedroom again. He turns back to Kendall, who is looking at him with huge eyes, body trembling all over.

"Kendall…" Logan starts to say as he scoots closer to the blonde. But he stops when Kendall starts to breathe faster and scoots so far back, he nearly falls off the couch. He sighs. "I don't understand why you're so scared of me, Kendall… What did I do to make you act like this? Please, just tell me. I'm sorry, alright? For whatever it was I did…" He tries to reach out for his friend, but he jumps from the couch and runs for his bedroom door s fast as he can.

Logan can feel tears welling up once more, but he can't give up now. Carlos gave them a chance. He needs to take that chance to make things right.

He slowly walks after Kendall, who is trying to open the door frantically. But Carlos somehow manages to keep it closed. Kendall feels trapped and goes into full panic mode. He turns around and pushes his back into the door. He slides to the floor and pulls his knees to his chest and his hands over his head.

"Kendall, please… I'm not going to hurt you. You have to believe me. I would never hurt you. Kendall, look at me, please…" he pleads with the boy, but his body freezes when Logan touches him. Logan scrunches up his eyebrows and tries to stay calm. "Kendall, please…" He pleads again, his voice breaking slowly. "I didn't even do anything!" He yells out in frustration.

Kendall flinches and his eyes widen. "Please don't… I promise I'll be quiet. I'll be quiet…" He mumbles in a slight whisper. It finally dawns on Logan. He frowns as he remembers what happened in the dungeon all that time ago.

"Oh god…" He mutters as he realizes what he did. He practically blamed Kendall for everything that happened to them, just for opening his mouth. He had only tried to protect them, he had realized that right after. But he never knew or realized it had affected Kendall this much…

He squats down slowly and carefully tries to pull Kendall's arms away from his head. "Kendall, I… Please look at me…"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Kendall mumbles. Logan now chokes back a sob when he hears the tears in his friend's voice.

"No, please… I'm sorry, Kendall… What I said… I didn't mean it, Kendall. You have to know I didn't…" He desperately tries to pull his arms away, but Kendall just cries harder and flinches with every touch.

"I'll be quiet…I'll be quiet, I promise…" He now cries louder. Logan's heart breaks at the sound of it. Tears of his own start to fall down. He tries to stop them.

"Oh god… I never meant it, Kendall… I never meant to break you… Please believe me, I hate seeing you like this… Kendall please…" Logan pleads with sobs of his own, when suddenly the bedroom door opens. Logan looks up and sees Carlos staring at both of them.

"I'm sorry… I tried… I didn't mean what I said to him, Carlos… I just, oh god, I didn't mean it…" He sobs on the floor. The moment Kendall notices the door is open, he shoots up and runs inside the bedroom. Carlos stands in the doorway, still watching Logan. "I broke him… No wonder he's scared of me, after what I said to him… But I really didn't mean it, Carlos, you believe me, right?" Carlos just stares at him with a dark expression.

Logan shakes his head. "All this time I had no idea… I did this…" He whispers. Then he looks at Carlos a final time, before getting up and running into the bathroom and locking the door behind him.

Carlos stands alone in the open doorway for a moment. He sighs, rolls his eyes and then closes his own door as well.

A/N yeah, so this is why I really shouldn't start any new stories while already writing a couple… I neglect my old ones. Sorry about that!

It's not very long, but I hope you like it anyway

I am so looking forward to Big Time Rush movie, you have no idea (no pun intended)! Having these four sexy men performing as my other Fab Four, it is going to be so amazing. Already love the songs and the previews are hilarious. The humor is so simple, making it so funny :P

Everyone have a good week! I'll try to update all my stories again soon and reply all the reviews as well. Sorry about that once again, I'm not very organized, trying to work out a system to keep up with the replies and such. But thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support It always puts a smile on my face, even on bad days, so thank you all!

Love, Baxxie

PS. Working on my first BTR vids right now Gathering material for a Cargan vid and a fun Carlos one, hoping to upload them soon. And if you want to talk to me personally, remember: PM or find me on tumblr as Baxxie ;)