Disclaimer: One Piece © Oda Eiichiro. No copyright infringement intended. Just borrowing the boys for non-profit fun. All characters depicted in sexual situations in syren pan's fan fiction are fictional and are intended to be and considered to be by the author of said material of the legal age of consent regardless of what age these characters may be in the material they are derived from.


'You didn't even look, marimo!' The cook sounded almost offended as he flapped up and down in front of Zoro like an overexcited duck.

He had shown up out of no-where, all tense and wound up, and interrupted Zoro's concentration while training. Why of all the sea cooks in the four blue seas had Luffy recruited that one?

The guy was really getting on Zoro's nerves. Fine, yeah, maybe he came in handy in a fight, and his grub was edible but was all that really worth the constant idiocy the crew - and for unknown reasons especially Zoro - had to put up with?

Zoro's jaw had tensed the second he had smelled the perpetual nicotine cloud before the slim figure had appeared in his field of vision and started to have an attack of verbal diarrhoea. Something about a bath as far as Zoro had cared to follow the tirade.

'What the hell are you on about?' Zoro finally asked with an annoyed sigh. Maybe if he played along the asshole would disappear sooner.

Sanji gaped at him, cigarette dangling from his lower lip. 'You are impossible! If I hadn't seen it I would doubt you have the right equipment to call yourself a man.'

'What?' Zoro really had better things to do with his time than indulge Sanji's insanity. 'Whatever, fuck off, love cook.'

'Oh, getting defensive are we?'

Yep, the guy was definitely insane. Maybe that was what this was about? Sanji had slipped in the bath earlier and hit his head?

Nah, he had been insufferable before.

'Can't get it up – well, that explains a lot actually.' Sanji carried on with a self-satisfied smirk.

Wait a second...

'In need to get the shit kicked out of you, aren't you?' Fine by Zoro, knocking the cook around would substitute nicely for a couple of push-ups.

'Thought you'd never ask,' was all Sanji said before the first kick hit Zoro squarely in the chest.


Ten minutes later they were both lying on their backs, panting and aching in a good way. Chopper would probably get mad at them for aggravating their injuries but it had been worth it.

To his astonishment, Zoro admitted silently to the sky that fighting the stupid curly-eyebrow was oddly ...satisfying,

The by now familiar click of Sanji's lighter snapping shut, made him turn his head and look at the other man. Blue eyes met Zoro's own as the cook puffed away on his nicotine stick.

'So, why didn't you look? You are after all not a eunuch.' Sanji finally asked, making Zoro uncomfortably aware of the fact that he had been staring into the other's eyes for a very long time.

Zoro quickly sat up to cover for his embarrassment. 'What?'

With an exasperated sigh Sanji sat up beside him. 'You really weren't listening at all, were you?'

'I might listen on the day you actually have something to say, cook.' Zoro already felt the satisfaction from the fight draining away only to be replaced by the usual annoyance he associated with Sanji's company.

'Never mind, marimo. I got what I came for.' And with those words the cook got up and sauntered away.

'What the hell is that supposed to mean?' Zoro asked the faint trail of smoke the other man had left behind.