That feeling's there again. Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have had anything to eat this morning.
My hands flew over the keyboard as I tried to shake the feeling that was slowly making it's way up my throat. I tried to breathe my way through this wave, thinking about the story that was pouring out of my fingers.
After Hollywood Arts, everyone thought that they were going to be famous. I mean, when you go to such a high end school for acting and singing, and on top of that have it located in the center of one of the biggest city of stars, you kind of expect it. But when you get pushed into reality, almost none of us really made it.
There was a knock on my office door. Before I even looked up, I could smell the cheesy mess that was slowly approaching my desk, held by one Andre Harris, dressed in black slacks and a white button down. His hair was still in his classic dreaded look, only they've grown out over the past six years we've been out of school, "I brought you some lunch. A cheesy, crunchy, perfect burrito from Pete's Place."
Take Andre for instance. He was one of the most talented kids in the music academy, and yet here he was, going from club to club, trying to lock a gig so he could showcase his talent. He rarely got a gig, and right now, the man was sleeping in the spare room in my house. Sometimes it really pissed me off how the people with talent could end up like that, while annoying talentless students ended up with stardom.
I tried to smile as I swallowed down the knot that was still inching up to my mouth, "Thanks."
He squinted at me, so I guess he could see all the color drain from my face as I felt something I was already fighting back, break through my wall of control. My hand shot to my mouth as I tried to mumble an apology while rushing past him and into the hallway, turning my first corner and jetting to the bathroom as quickly as I could manage with keeping this disgusting taste out of my mind.
Luckily, I got into the stall before my bagel with cream cheese decided to get out of me in the most annoying way possible. My knees hit the cool tile next to the toilet as I let it all out, ignoring the sound of the door open and close behind me. The person grabbed onto my hair to pull it away from my mouth before the next wave hit.
I still had my face in the porcelain when I reached up to flush away the putrid smell that was infecting the rest of the bathroom. "Thanks," I muttered.
"No problem," Andre's voice answered. He handed me some toilet paper and I wiped off my mouth.
I plopped my butt onto the floor, making sure my skirt was covering what it should, then twisted so her back was against the stall wall.
"I'm getting used to hearing it, but definitely not smelling it," Andre joked, and I guess I found it a little funny, but I wasn't cracking up on the inside like some of his jokes had me doing. His face turned serious, "Jade... do you think that maybe something's wrong? I mean, you've been throwing up for almost two weeks straight."
"It's just food poisoning, or a stomach virus," I said. It had to be some sort of bug.
"Or maybe you're avoiding the logical explanation," Andre said, "do you think that you could maybe be pregnant?"
"No! There's absolutely no way in hell I'm pregnant. We're always careful," I rushed to get out. I hadn't even thought of that possibility. I'm not ready to be a mother yet. I'm not even married to the man. We haven't talked about this in detail. Of course we want kids, but that would be after the engagement ring turns into a married, upgraded, version.
"Always? Even the night before Beck left for Canada?"
My eyes must have doubled in size. That night. That fucking night. They had a little too much to drink, partied a little too hard. I could vividly remember that Andre had to carry Cat all the way home because she passed out after puking all over the man's shoes. He spent the night with her, just to make sure she was okay and whatever else they did.
I could remember the walk home. We were holding hands, and he was telling me how much he was going to miss me, and that two months was too long to be apart. That we had to make the night last. It was my first day off of my period, but I forgot to take my birth control at the right time, so I just didn't take it. I could have sworn I heard him put on a condom...
"Fuck," I said, throwing my head back and hitting it against the stall. "This can't be happening."
"Well, you don't know if it's actually going to be happening," Andre consoled. "You might want to take a test, then go see a doctor or something, just to be sure."
I didn't know what to say. This couldn't be happening. I was so close to finishing my screen play for work, and I was so close to my wedding day. It was only three months away. Everything was going to be perfect... but now I might have to worry about having a baby that I know I'm not ready for, and I can't imagine that Beck would be ready either.
Andre stood up and offered me his hand, which I gladly took. As soon as I was standing, he pulled me into a hug to reassure me everything was going to work out, whether I thought it would or not. I guess what scared me the most was what Beck was going to say if I really did have a bun in the oven.
He checked his watch and smiled at me, "Your day is already up, my friend."
I moved past him and out of the stall to look at the wall clock. Sure enough, it was a quarter past three. I was so glad I had a nine to three job. It made the aspect of having a office job more bearable. I didn't think I would actually follow my writing more than my acting or singing, and when I did, this is what I ended up with. Writing screen plays for any T.V show that asked, and I've even helped develop some movies here and there, but nothing massive.
We walked out together and went back to my office. He did me the honor of throwing away the greasy bag that held the most nauseating smell I've ever had enter my nostrils. It plunged into the garbage can that resided outside of my office, and a little down the hallway.
Andre gave me enough time to gather my things and save my progress before escorting me out of the building. It all just screamed that Andre wanted a ride home. Before you ask, he does have a car, but it just saves gas when he would have been hitting the pavement right down the street from my job.
Actually, now that I think about it. This could work out in my favor...
I locked my arm with him as we got into the elevator on the fifth floor. I cuddled up close to him and rested my cheek against his shoulder, making the sweet eyes at him.
"Oh God... What do you want Jade?" he whined. "Every time you do this I either almost get arrested, or it's gonna cost me another chance of getting a girlfriend. That's a gift, right there. You've got the greatest timing in the world."
I glared at him. He just loved to rub things in.
"Sorry... I didn't mean that."
"Well, I think you did," I decided to put a Sikowitz classic in the works. I dropped his arm and looked at him with a hurt expression, "Andre... why are you so fucking insensitive? I wasn't going to ask for much, but then you rub every other time in my face like it's going to happen again. I could be pregnant, and that means I'm already over emotional, and you're not helping."
I had the tears almost rolling, minding my own make-up.
"No. Jade, no no no. Don't cry, I can't deal with crying. Especially you crying," Andre said, doing everything he could to comfort her. "Fine. Whatever you're planning on making me do, I'll do it."
I stopped my overreaction, and smiled, "Thank you, best friend in the world. All I need for you to do is to get me a simple pregnancy test from the drug store."
"What! Why? That's so unmanly," Andre sounded out the syllables as we finally got out of that stuffy elevator. The lobby as almost empty, so that made for a quick get away. I had my own parking spot by the front entrance, so we got there pretty quickly.
I unlocked my black Mazda, "But you're doing this for a damsel in distress."
"You ain't in a tower. There isn't a dragon. I'm not a knight," Andre defended while I got out of the insanely intricate parking lot. If they added one more turn, her car would have had a permanent misalignment.
"But Beck's not here, and I'm not even sure I want to bring him into this yet..."
"What're you going to do if you are? Hide your stomach with a pillow?" He joked.
"Where's the nearest drug store?" I asked looking up and down each side of the road.
"There's one on Madison and Jury. Take a left at the light," he instructed. "Now. Why won't you tell Beck?"
"He doesn't need to know. Besides, we haven't talked about having a kid, and if you don't remember, I've got a wedding coming up in just a few months. Ugh. How am I supposed to find a fucking dress when my stomach is going to be the size of a watermelon by that time?"
"How should I know? I've never been pregnant," Andre said. I pulled into the parking lot of the drug store, "But just so I'm sure, I'm not supposed to let Beck know about this."
"No. Hell no. I'll rip off your dreads and put them through the food processor." I warned him.
Andre opened the door and got out without saying a word to me, but I heard him mumble something about making him do things he never wanted to do. I watched him disappear into the store.
He walked through isle after isle before he found the lady products. He stared at the wall of a million different options. Clear Blue, Store Brand, First Response. What the hell was he supposed to get? His phone was in his hand as he speed dialed Jade's number.
"Jade, what the hell am I supposed to get?"
"What do you mean?"
"There's a million different types of these damn pee sticks. This is frustrating," Andre said as he picked up one and started reading the back. It was all gibberish to him.
"Just grab three of them and get out of there. I feel awkward just sitting here," I said, almost giving myself the shivers. This made everything worse. I hate feeling anything like this. Why can't Andre just hurry up?
"Okay... I'll be there soon," He hung up and went back to grabbing at the tests. He picked the three least expensive ones, since they all had the same directions. What difference would it have made?
He walked up to the counter and set them all down. There was a lady at the next register over, a very pretty lady at that. Her eyes were a stunning shade of blue, and her complexion was flawless. Andre looked at her with his signature smirk and wink, looking her up and down. The girl seemed interested for a moment, then saw what he was buying.
She switched from a look of interest to a look of disgust. Grabbing her bag, she did a turn with a flip of her hair, showing off what he wasn't going to be experiencing tonight.
"No! Oh man. They're for a friend!" She was already gone.
Andre heard a laugh from behind the counter. The old lady in a red collard shirt seemed to find this very funny, "Just ring up the damn tests."
He grabbed the bag off the counter and went back out to the car. He threw the bag at me as soon as he opened the door.
"Every damn time. How do you manage, every damn time?" Andre asked and I just laughed as he told me what happened.