In the past, when Dom closed his eyes and conjured up the color blue, his mind was filled with images of open skies and endless seas. He could hear the roar of the waves; feel the breeze waving his clothes. Blue meant open spaces, freedom; long summer evenings and quiet winter dawns.
However, now, when he thought of blue, his mind betrayed him and conjured up Brian's face. Brian and his light eyes contrasting against his tanned skin.
Dom was crazy for those eyes. He had learned that, despite his youthful appearance, and his exuberant nature, Brian jealously guarded his privacy. The blond could spend hours talking without actually saying anything about himself. His eyes; however, if you paid attention, they said everything that his lips didn't. It had taken time, but now Dom could read how Brian felt, what he was thinking by the blue of his eyes.
Brian's eyes were naturally clear and cheerful, with a small light at the bottom of them, to which Dom felt irresistibly drawn, like a moth to fire.
Some nights, however, when everything was too heavy on his heart, those beautiful eyes turned a pale, sad blue. Through silken lashes, Dom would read Brian's pain. He heard his scream, felt his need. Those nights Dom always hugged him tighter and kissed him softly and slow; kissed his closed eyelids, unable to find a better way to exorcise the ghosts and demons that stole Brian's smile.
Sometimes, Brian's eyes seemed to be made of liquid mercury. When anger or despair exploded in his chest, when the demons of his nights finally caught up with him in his flight, the blue became unstable, with a metallic sheen near madness. Dom could hear him thinking, those crazy ideas, and his terror of losing his lover coiled in his gut like an angry Dom would lunge against him, grabbing his wrists, pinning his body against the nearest wall. He would bite the nape of his neck, and then make his way inside him pushing hard, fast, almost hurting him. Trying to mark Brian's skin, his blood with his name, so he could not leave him or forget him. He would keep thrusting, desperately, until he felt Brian's body stiffen for a second under his hands, and both of them would moan shortly after; prisoners of their own orgasms.
Other times, when Dom said the wrong words during an argument and both ended up hurt and hostile, sleeping for days back to back in the same bed, Brian's eyes could be cold as ice. They were distant and hard like two stars on the dark horizon. Cruel in their remoteness, but still beautiful. His eyes then could hurt like the blade of a knife and leave Dom bleeding for days. Nevertheless, a gesture, a look, was enough for the ice to melt. Sometimes Dom could do it just by saying his name properly. It was like saying a magic word or a short prayer. Dom could see the immediate change, a sigh of relief escaping his lips when the blue iris's shone again for him, like two patches of ocean under the sun.
But they also knew how to be sweet and sensible. Innocent and compassionate. A glance of those eyes was enough to make Dom feel strangely at peace. He could feel the pain of his own wounds mitigated. Dom could almost feel the touch of those eyes on his skin, kissing him on the lips. Dom marvelled at Brian's ability to touch him only with his eyes.
Rain. Brian's eyes were sometimes made of rain, soft and musical on the pavement, and it fell on Dom's body slowly but endlessly. Deleting past marks, smells, memories of kisses and old bruises, until there was nothing left of himself. The blue surrounded him then; it was inside him, taking possession of his soul, inflaming his senses like a turquoise burning flame. Dom would groan, wrestling on the bed helpless and feverish, while Brian's mouth marked hundreds of crosses on the map of his body.
The list was endless. Brian's eyes could be a storm or peace, playful or vindictive, vulnerable and young or bitterly old. They could hit with violence or reflect the bell-like echo of his laugh, could cry full of pain or sing naked on the beach. Brian's eyes were everything and nothing at the same time. They were the key to his soul, a double-edged sword. They were hunger and thirst, passion and surrender.
But blue, they were always blue. And no matter what, always at the bottom of all this damn blue, the little light was still there. Whatever happened, Dom could always find that light unchanged, and it called his name incessantly.
Because; Dom was happily sure about this, above everything else Brian's eyes were a fountain from which flowed, inexhaustible and forever, the love that his lips only sometimes confirmed aloud.
So now every time Dom closed his eyes and thought of blue; Brian's face took possession of his thoughts, and a sweet warm feeling spread through his chest.
Brian. The color blue could be only one thing now. And that's why secretly; blue was his new favourite color. Because in Dom's world, blue meant Brian. And Brian meant love.