WARNING: This is rated M for a reason, guys. Sexual abuse ahead. Ye be warned.
Come What May
Roland grinned. He moved to kiss him; Kurt dodged him.
"No, no, don't kiss me," he breathed, tears in his eyes. "Anything else just…just don't kiss me."
He'd already had a very important kiss stolen from Blaine, he wasn't about to have another one.
"In here," Roland whispered, shoving him toward a door. He yanked it open, pushing him inside the practice room.
Kurt stared at him, breathing hard. "I do this, and you leave Blaine alone?" He squeaked, trying to sound brave. Courage, he told himself. Remember? Roland nodded.
"As long as you don't tell him what we're going, I give you my word."
Kurt barely got the word out before he was tossed on a coffee table, face down. Roland kissed his neck and tore off his clothes, touching him everywhere. Kurt could only let him, an awful, wretched feeling welling inside of him and growing as each piece of clothing was removed. He tried to close his eyes and pretend that Blaine was the one doing this.
He couldn't. These hands were rough. They pinched and prodded none too gently, making the tears come easier. "Please, gently. You'll leave bruises," he whispered. Roland paid no heed. If anything he pressed and groped harder, making Kurt whimper. He leaned his face on the table, refusing to cry in front of this monster. He would fight it as hard as he could to make sure that didn't happen. God, it was hard not to... Roland bit him, hard, making him cry out.
"Make all the noise you want," he grunted. "The room's soundproof."
Kurt swallowed a sob, trying to breathe. His breath hitched when his pants were pulled down, exposing him to this man. He had no shield now, nothing to hide him from this monster as he ravaged him. "God, you're so soft," Roland grunted. Kurt shut his eyes, biting his lip, tears stagnant in his eyes.
He squeezed the edge of the table, thinking about Blaine as much as he could. His eyes, his face, his lips, his voice his-
"AHHHH!" He screamed, pain rupturing through his body. "NO! NO, PLEASE, NO, CAN'T YOU-? MMMNNN!"
"I can't wait," Roland grunted, "I can't wait. Has to be now." He drove his hips forward, making Kurt scream again.
He kept his eyes closed as the man moved, sending pulsating agony through his shaking body.
This is for Blaine, this is for Blaine, this is for Blaine… He told himself, locking the sobs away, knowing that this would kill Blaine if he ever found out. His husband, who trusted him and loved him so much…
"Blaine," he breathed, trying not to let Roland hear. He didn't notice. He was far too busy ripping him apart. Kurt was sure he was bleeding, there was no way he couldn't be, and he was in so, much, pain.
All he wanted was for it to stop. He wanted this stranger's voice out of his ears, he wanted his hands to stop touching him wherever he pleases. He wanted that disgusting feeling to go away. And more than anything he wanted his husband, his love, his Blaine to hold him and save him from this nightmare. "Blaine!"
"Blaine's not here," Roland hissed, grabbing a handful of his hair. "Now shut the fuck up!"
Kurt tried to breathe through it. It was all he could do. He felt something being ripped away from him, something important. He tried to swallow his tears, tried not to make a sound and suppressed it all as much as he could, and that hurt just as bad as Roland drilled into him without any sort of preparation.
Then it was over. Roland shuddered, squeezing Kurt's shoulders so hard his nails bit into his skin.
Kurt collapsed on the table, shaking his head, trembling from head to toe. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry…"
Roland was grinning as he pulled out of him and refastened his trousers. "That's what a real man feels like," he said smugly, reaching for the doorknob. "Remember that the next time Blaine's fucking you." And he was gone.
Kurt broke. He cried, hard, feeling blood and bodily fluids that weren't his own drip down his leg. He knew there would be bruises, ones that he would have to cover up with makeup in case Blaine saw.
Blaine…Blaine… "BLAINE!" Kurt screamed, burying his face in his hands, so utterly ashamed. He'd betrayed him, he betrayed the man he loved more than anything else in the whole world. God, how was he supposed to look at him now, knowing that another man had had him, had touched him had…had fucked him.
"Remember that the next time Blaine's fucking you." But that was the problem. Blaine never "fucked" him. Blaine…Blaine made love to him. He cried harder, hand over his heart.
After a few moments he put his clothes back on, trembling, crying. Once he stood, dressed and seemingly unharmed he headed for the door.
He made it about halfway across the room before he found himself puking in a trashcan.
"What happened?" Liz asked, noting his distressful look.
"Oh, he just wanted to tell me how well Blaine was doing," he assured. "Then I got sick. We ordered Thai food for lunch, and I guess it didn't sit well."
She didn't buy it, not for a second, but she went along with it. "Oh, honey, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just gonna go home," he said, still trying to smile and heading for the door.
"Wait, what about Blaine?" She asked.
Kurt hid the invisible punch he felt when she said his name, and he could only imagine what would happen when he actually saw him. "Um, I'll see him at home. I really don't want to get everyone sick around here. I should go."
Before Liz could stop him, he was gone.
Kurt rushed to his and Blaine's bathroom, his stomach heaving once again. He wretched hard, his muscles clenching hard. His throat burned and his stomach ached with the forced trauma, but he deserved it. He deserved every ounce of pain that came with doing what he'd done.
Once he stopped puking he dove in the shower, turning the water on as hot as it would go and scrubbing as hard as he could. He could still feel the fluids seeping from him but… no matter how hard he tried he…he couldn't get it all out.
He cried, using far too much soap of every kind, trying not to rub his skin raw. He knew he couldn't get him off. He would probably feel this dirty for the rest of his life and he absolutely hated it. He loathed it…and he loathed himself.
He got out of the shower, drying and looking himself over. He was bruised in places he shouldn't be bruised, his muscles aching. There were claw marks on his back and a bite mark on the back of his neck.
He started to cry again, looking at the mutilations he'd received for his infidelity. He grabbed his cover up and his moisturizer, covering up both the tiny crescents from Roland's nails and the bite mark. He left it flawless; you couldn't even tell that something had been there.
He moisturized his face as usual, though his tears kept interfering and he eventually gave up. He went into their bedroom, feeling like he had no right to be there.
He collapsed on his side of the bed, curled in a ball, crying so hard he thought his ribs would crack. His tears leaked from swollen eyes, looking at Blaine's pillow. He reached for it, hugging it close to his chest, sobbing into it. He took a deep breath, taking in Blaine's smell, realizing this was the closest thing to Blaine he would get to say this to.
"I'm sorry, Blaine," he sobbed, voice muffled. "I'm so sorry. Please, please forgive me…I didn't want to do it, I didn't. All I wanted was you and, and… God, Blaine, it hurt so much!" He continued to sob into the pillow, pouring out his heart and soul and wishing it had arms to hold him with.
Blaine walked through the door into their dark apartment, tired from all the rehearsing, wanting nothing else than to snuggle up to his husband and sleep. He needed to check on him first. Liz had told him he was ill and he was worried about him.
He found his angel fast asleep on their bed, wearing a shirt that was too big and a pair of sweats. He looked absolutely adorable, face buried in his pillow, clutching it tight. He felt his forehead, finding no fever. He smiled softly, shaking Kurt's shoulder.
"Kurt," he cooed, "Kurt, wake up, baby." He opened his eyes, blinking slowly.
Kurt's heart was ripped in half once again. His lips trembled and tears welled in his eyes again.
"Hey, hey," Blaine soothed, sitting beside him. "What's wrong?" Kurt couldn't answer him. He opened his mouth, trying to form the words to speak. All that came out was a few whimpers and breathy sounds. "Darling…" Blaine scooped him into his lap, rocking him gently. Kurt started to cry, wanting to refuse the comfort Blaine was giving him, but had no strength to.
"You really don't feel good, do you?" He asked. Kurt shook his head, still sobbing. "Shh, shh…" He soothed, rocking him gently, kissing his temple. "It'll be alright, sweetheart. Can I get you something? Medicine, or-?"
"No," Kurt choked, squeezing him tighter. "Don't let go. J-just stay here."
Blaine nuzzled his face into his neck, kissing his cheek and rubbing his back, just wanting Kurt to be better.
Kurt was drowning in guilt, wanting to jump out of a window and kill himself. But at least he wouldn't have to do it again. It was over. Roland would never touch him again and Blaine would never know.
If only that were true…
-Thank you, more soon. And to all of those that reviewed, I thank you as well!-