A/N - This is part 3, and the conclusion of the Incident Series, which was started in The Pumpkin Juice Incident (for Halloween), continued in The Mistletoe Incident (for Christmas), and concluded here for New Year's Eve. All three poems have been illustrated and may be found on my Live Journal or on my website. :)
The Butterbeer Incident
In Hogsmeade, the Lion and Dragon
Is a place you can get a tall flagon
Of the best Butterbeer.
It's got great atmosphere
And a renown for discretion they brag on.
Be it fate or celestial design,
Circumstance or arrangement divine,
Harry couldn't resist
A clandestine tryst
And took the name of the pub as a sign.
An assignation, kept undercover,
He planned with his still-secret lover.
They hoped for a snog
By the blazing Yule log
In a place their friends wouldn't discover.
New Year's Eve, the pub was quite cozy
The lights were down low, the fire rosy.
As midnight drew near
There were toasts of good cheer,
With no one inclined to be nosy.
Harry smiled as he slipped in the door.
The place was perfect from ceiling to floor.
Draco sat by the fire.
Harry blushed with desire,
At the sight of his blond paramour.
At a candlelit table for two
They sipped mugs of the House's mulled brew.
Toasts to the future declared,
A kiss openly shared,
Promised much for the night's rendezvous.
Harry breathed a soft happy sigh.
Draco's hand lay warm on his thigh.
The night seemed enchanted.
Their wish had been granted:
A romantic night out on the sly.
They lifted their mugs and both swore
To their love they'd be true ever more
But then Draco's sharp hiss
Snuffed their moment of bliss
When Ron Weasley walked in through the door!
When Ron saw them together, his jaw dropped.
His eyebrows flew up, and his eyes popped.
His face turned as red,
As the hair on his head
And he clutched at his chest like his heart stopped.
Ron's reaction was comically droll.
Without a smidgen of calm self-control,
He stomped through the pub
Amidst the cheerful hubbub,
With all the grace of a rampaging troll.
At their table, Ron's voice was not gentle.
"God, Harry," he cried, "Are you mental?
This git is a boy!
And even worse, he's Malfoy!
How could you miss something so monumental?"
Draco's scowl could have vaporized stone.
Harry stifled a frustrated groan.
To Ron, he said, "Mate,
You're wrecking my date!
We don't need you to play chaperone."
Harry decided the truth should be known.
He said, "I love him," in a much softer tone.
He took Draco's hand,
Said, "Please understand.
We wanted time here together, alone."
But Ron pulled up a chair and sat down.
He turned to Harry and said with a frown,
"I can't believe you're lovesick
For this Slytherin prick!
Are you having some kind of breakdown?"
"Stuff it, Weasel," said Draco, incensed.
Ron glowered, then the insults commenced:
"Death Eater brat!"
"Blood Traitor rat!"
Years of loathing so succinctly expressed.
"You slimy Slytherin snake,"
Ranted Ron. "You've made quite a mistake.
As Harry's best friend,
I say this affair has to end.
All he'll get out of you is heartbreak."
Draco'd had enough of this ginger nightmare.
He fixed Ron with a furious glare.
Then he grabbed up his mug
And emptied it, glug,
All over Ron Weasley's red hair.
Ron gasped as the butterbeer poured.
This outrage could not be ignored!
As quick as a wink,
He seized Harry's drink,
And dumped it all on that git he abhorred.
While beer dripped from their hair and their noses,
They faced off in belligerent poses.
They were both acting tough,
'Til Harry yelled, "THAT'S ENOUGH!"
In a voice that chilled them down to their toes-es.
Then the room began to rattle and shake.
It felt like a mini-earthquake!
But it was not planetary,
The earthquake was Harry.
And within seconds things started to break!
Harry stood like a tower of wrath.
Friend and lover ducked out of his path.
As his rage overload
Made every bottle explode,
The whole pub had a butterbeer bath!
There were shrieks and shouts of wild laughter!
And when the clock struck midnight moments after,
And cries of "Happy New Year!"
Echoed all the way up to the rafters!
Everyone joined in the merry uproar!
Firecrackers were set off on the floor!
One gent in a wig
Danced a mad Irish jig,
While kisses were exchanged by the score.
In the midst of all that crazy commotion
Draco reached out and proved his devotion.
He pulled Harry snug
Into a warm hug,
And with soft words calmed his raging emotion.
Then to Ron's horror and Draco's delight,
Harry smiled and held Draco tight.
Their passionate kiss,
Ron couldn't dismiss.
The sickening snog seemed to go on all night!
Someone started to sing Auld Lang Syne.
The whole tavern joined on the next line.
Everyone in the place
Had a smile on their face.
Harry and Draco, hand in hand, seemed to shine.
As the last lines of the old song were sung,
Ron left. But what really stung,
Was when he looked back before
He went out the door,
Draco smirked and stuck out his tongue.
Back at Hogwarts, Ron described with dismay,
How he'd discovered Harry and Malfoy were gay.
"Oh honestly, Ron,
I've known since Year One,"
Said Hermione in her know-it-all way.
"Oi, but it's awful!" Ron whined, shoulders sagging.
"I can't watch them kiss without gagging."
She said, "Yes, of course,
But it could have been worse.
It could have been Ginny he's shagging."
Walking back, Harry said, "I don't care
If the whole world knows about our affair."
The way Draco agreed
Left Harry weak-kneed.
Their future together was sealed then and there.