The Grand Sorceress Louise

Prologue – In which the world gets the BSOD.

"Ever since the Springtime Familiar Summoning, Louise has been… different." – Nameless Student.

Today was a good day. In fact it was a sunny day with absolutely no chance of rain or apocalyptic clouds of destruction and mayhem. If nature itself had a corporal form, and mind you it doesn't (at least right now it doesn't), then it would look around and won't see the horsemen of the apocalypse anywhere. Thus reaffirming the fact that: Today is a good day.

"Was that everyone?" A bald man called out. The man absentmindedly scratches his head with his staff as if he was forgetting something.

"No Professor Colbert, Louise hasn't summoned anything yet!" Some nameless student yelled out. Apparently someone is asking for trouble.

"Well then, Miss Vallière?"

Professor Colbert watched as the students started to back off and stayed out of arms reach from the small strawberry blonde mage like she was the walking plague. Of course there was a very good reason why no one would want to be near that mage. While the professor regarded the child of the Vallière family to be a studious girl, her practical craft had much to desire. Let's hope that the 'Summon Servant' won't end like everything else she had done.

As Louise approached the circle, she was mumbling angrily. The cause of this anger was not because she was called out, but rather because the professor forgot her. She was a child of the Vallière family! You don't just forget someone from high nobility. Plus, she wanted to do her own summoning, in her own terms, with her own conveniently forgotten reagents in her room. It also didn't help that people were muttering her nickname and were slowly edging away from the assumed danger zone.

"Are you alright?" Colbert called out as he noticed the mage shaking in the magic circle. To the professor, she definitely appeared to be nervous. However, confusing nervous with mild anger is a reasonable error… I think.

"I'm f-f-fine, professor." In her hand, was her wand, crackling with energy. Wait, crackling?

"Very well, you may proceed when ready." Eyeing her omnious looking wand, he calmly checked it off as the magic potential of the girl. Never mind the fact that he was quite sure that wands don't do that normally. But to make sure, he started to think of the protection spells needed to shield the students…. who are now much further away than a moment ago.

The last child of the Vallière family had to perform this spell. She could hear the people in the crowd muttering that she was a 'Zero'. Being called a 'Zero' was a pet peeve to her. In fact, right now she's seeing everything in red. Forget the plans to summon later, she was going to summon something right now and it going to knock the socks off her classmates. Nevermind the fact that the muttering of 'Zero' changed from a tone of insult to a tone of fear.

Everyone held their breath as Louise started to chant. The moment she pointed her wand towards the heavens, lightning was emitted from the wand and struck the area around the girl like a barrier of lightning. Then it stopped. Seriously, it completely stopped. A few moments passed before Louise opened her eyes. Aside from all the students ducking and covering from the display of lightning that was most definitely not part of the summon ritual, nothing happened.

Poking out from the safety huddle of students, some unknown student attempted to taunt, "Failure li-"

Whatever he was about to say was cut off as some clouds started to cover the sky. Some really dark looking clouds with really scary rumbling coming from them. In a matter of moments, the academy was cloaked in darkness.

"I… I just made a little mistake!" Louise squeaked out as the frequency of thunder and lightning increased. Suddenly, lightning started to strike the ground around all the students. At this point, a mathematical relationship could be said about the frequency of lightning strikes and the wailing of students calling out 'We're Doomed': it was linear. As in, there was a lot of screaming. The chaotic weather seemed to reach its climax, the ground shook, making the instigator of the event to stumble and look to the sky. In an instant, her world went to a blinding white light then darkness.


"Oh, that's classic!"

"Mhmmm…" Louise awoke to a sound of a man laughing. From her surroundings, or there lack of, she was in a pure white room. In fact it probably isn't even a room seeing that it would be more appropriate to call this a pure white expanse. The few things that stood out was a man sitting on what appeared to be a really comfy leather chair and the freaky black moving picture box. Well freaky to the little student mage, "What kind of magic is that?"

The man got up and turn toward Louise. She can clearly see that his was dressed in all white with some kind of fabric that she could not identify. She tried to get more features on his face, but for some reason it's like her mind is blocking it out. Then her eyes drifted back toward the rather entrancing moving picture box with distracting noises.

"You know, people normally ask where they are at before asking about the TV." The man took a couple steps toward the mage to get a better look at his visitor.

"TeeVee…" Louise stared at the contraption that obviously was hypnotizing her before the man blocked her view and consequently allowed her to use higher cognitive functions. "Whaaa? I was summoning a familiar… where am I?"

"Well, that took a bit of time. Hmmm, a wand so you aren't from earth." The man was examining the wand that the pink haired mage was clutching. "If you were summoning a familiar you should've taken a right at the edge of nowhere. Now you're in the void between dimensions."

"Edge of nowhere? Void?" Apparently, she was still recovering from the effects of the box.

"Yes, yes… Now normally when people want my help they usually stay on their planet. The trip is really, really brutal…" The man continue to rant about the travel to his home, which in a few moments while Louise finally comes to grip to reality, or there lack of at the moment. For a minute or two, Louise just stands there and listens to the guy talking before deciding she should get some better answers. Everything he's saying is making no sense to her. She'd done her job of being polite to this com- Wait. Was this a commoner or noble? That alien attire really looked well made….

"Hey…"

"-Wax wings. Can you believe that? Trying to fly here… on wax wings."

"Hey…" This time she used a little more force.

"Not only that but he was heading toward the sun! Those melted right off."

"Hey…" With more teeth gritting action, no one rants and ignores Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière. It's unethical and usually results in an explosion or some other painful action.

"I have to admit, was pretty impressive to get as high as he did with wax wings."

The irritation meter of Louise was about to reach max level as she continued to listen to this old kook's rant about the travel here. A few moments later, she started to shake like a volcano getting ready to explode. In a rather exaggerated motion, the mage pulled her arm back like she was going to throw a ball. "SILENCE!"

A couple seconds passed by as a slight gust of wind appeared out of nowhere. A minute passed by before the man restarted. "Huh? I thought if I got a mage mad enough, I'd get a lightshow. Well that was a bust. What are you? A failed mage, you freakin' have the MP… A shit load of MP. Whoa whoa whoa, don't go crying on me."

Louise was convinced that this commoner was right. She couldn't even cast a silence spell. She was a failure of a mage, her mother was never going to accept her. She was a disgrace to the family, she should go off and die in a hole. In fact, she should never go back from… wait. How did she get here again? There was the summoning… the blinding light… THE BLINDING LIGHT! Then in an instant, like a personality switch. Louise went from crying to maniacal laughing. You know the type of laughing someone uses when their reality is shattered.

"This is like the Zero, everyone says. Not only did she fail at summoning, but she blew herself up!"

"Holy crap, I don't think that's healthy to mentally beat yourself over it. I mean, it's nice that you stopped crying, but damn, don't try to force yourself to cry again."

"What do you know! I'm a noble who has no magic! Maybe mother is glad that a stain was removed from the family!"

"Uh… I hate to break it to you but you're not dead." The man deadpanned and that stopped Louise. "You probably shouldn't be making assumptions. I'm sure if you study hard and enough practice you'll get magic spells. You got a shit load of MP. I still don't get why you don't have spells."

If the first statement of being alive still halted her self-loathing rants. The second statement about magic outright stopped her thinking process. After calming down a bit more from hysterical wreck, "What do you mean 'study hard and enough practice'? What makes you think I could cast magic?"

"Well, you have an MP bar, you know Magic Points instead of Stamina Points or Rage."

"Magic points? Is that willpower?" Those terms were flying over her head.

"Plus, you've summoned yourself over here. Many good people much older than you and experienced tried and failed. If anything, whatever magic you have, has the ability to punch reality in the face. You just don't get here on accident."

Get here on accident? Uh oh. Forget the learning magic issue, the more pressing engagement is how to get back if she's alive. "Even if I got here on accident, I don't know how to get back." Wait… if she gone back with nothing then she'd fail the summoning. Maybe if she took a right at that one place he mentioned….

"Well, don't think too hard. I promised myself that if anyone arrives, I would grant them a wish."

A wish? Is this man serious? "I.. I need a familiar and a way back."

"Well, I could provide you a familiar and a way back." The girl lit up like a child receiving a Christmas gift, "But, what do you really want?

"Really, I need a familiar and way back." Louise doesn't know why she believes this man, but he emits an aura that feels like everything he says is not a lie. In fact, this man even gives off an aura like he's your best friend that knows you inside and out. Or it could be the fanatical hope that her dreams can come true.

"I can sense it, the familiar would only solve a part of your problem and if I did give you a familiar, the one I'd give would be this guy name Saito. Hmmm." The man walked around the girl. "I see, you're suffering from a self-confidence issue. A big one. What you really desire is power and respect. Well not really power, but the desire to be more competent related to your status as a noble."

Power and respect? Well, now that Louise thinks about it, it's true. She was only ridiculed by everyone because her magic was always a failure. If this man is right about being to give her what she wants… "You can teach me magic?"

"Well, everyone that wants to come here wants more power… At least you're not using for evil purposes, that much I can tell. Doesn't seem like your world is being threaten by dark wizard, so I don't think you need the Sword of Masters. If you did… well some wizards came by and took it from its resting place, bloody thieves. Yeah I could teach you magic, but I'll do better."

"Better?"

"Yeah, better. I'll give you exclusive rights to the Tree of Sephiroth. That way you can look up information and you'll be guaranteed to learn magic from it among other things."

"A book?" If she wanted to learn magic through a book, she'd go the library.

"I guess you can call it a book, it's more of a database. Still, the last person that got access to this was able to do miracles, literally. Walking on water? Just look up ancient ninja techniques." The man said as he walked up and placed his hand on Louise's forehead. "Now hold still, while I create a link…"

Miracles? Now why does he need to put his hand on her head? Why can't he just hand the book over? And why is she feeling lightheaded.

"Now… that dizziness is normal. The system is creating necessary connections to allow the transfer of information. Well, you have a decent connection at least."

*Connection Achieved… Measuring Bandwidth… Uploading*

Suddenly, images rapidly floated through Louise's vision. In an instant, whatever she could of asked would instantly come to her. If she wanted to, she could ask what the velocity of an unmanned swallow is and very damn well get the answer.

"Uploading? What's going on, what are these images?" The little mage wondered as answers started to float in her head.

"Wait? Uploading? Oh shit!" The man yelled as Louise collapsed to the ground. "I uh… Fucked up. Yeah, fucked up. The human brain isn't supposed to support the copy of the Sephiroth System."

"I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going." The only thing that Louise was able to say as the world gets darker.

"That's a perfectly legit response when your brain is starting to fry. Don't worry I can fix this. By the way, nice reference, at least you aren't getting useless information."

Louise could barely feel the hand touching her head through the massive headache that formed. The instant the hand did touch her head, she felt like she was free falling down and tunnel with a massive light show inside. She could hear voices as she seemly descends to the darkness.

"Daisy, Daisy."

"The terminal velocity of an average human body is…"

"There's no earthly way of knowing… which direction where we are going?"

A few moments later, the headache that Louise was feeling was fading away. She was still free falling, but the multicolor lightshow seemed to die down. Out of nowhere, a book smack into her head. Her vision blacked out before she was brought to a blue screen.

"Memory Fault in Reality. Please press CTRL+ALT+DEL to reboot Reality. Additonally, please restart Louise OS for additional updates."

Well, something gives her an idea what this means, but she doesn't have a keyboard to press this. Her visions started to black out again as her thoughts drifted back to the book that hit her. "Professor Vlad's School of Magickal Excellence 101."

"Well, I guess this is time you leave. Careful on how you use this, I didn't fix it completely, but I did manage to limit the upload so that you won't fry your brain. Still, the human mind isn't supposed to handle this information transfer, so don't do too much at once. I even gave you limited access to the Creation Forge, once per week. It's the least I could do for messing up your mind. Portus!"


As a beam of light pierced down from the heavens and struck the magic circle. A few seconds later, a colossal explosion happened. The skies cleared up and everyone stopped praying to Brimir. Miraculously no one was injured, good thing they stayed ten feet away from the summoning circle because it's now an eight foot diameter crater. In the middle of the crater that wiped out the summoning circle, was a smoking and obviously extremely dazed child of Vallière. Opening her eyes, she could see the professor trying to wake her.

"Miss. Vallière, are you alright?" From an explosion of that magnitude, it's a surprise that the girl still had her limbs.

"Colbert?"

*Accessing References to: Colbert*

"Miss. Vallière, why don't I take you to the infirmary for rest and check up?"

*References Found*

"Professor Colbert, are you a Democrat or a Republican?"

"What?"

Well, today was a good day.

End Prologue

AN: This sounds like a more promising project to work on. Well, at least it'll be more entertaining to attempt to write. I'm making no attempts to canon railroad except for major events, but even then they'll be way different. In a way, this'll be easier as I'm not too constrained by trying to follow events because I'll make my own events, they just have to make sense. Leave a review or something to about the execution, grammar or whatnot.. Further down the line I'll need someone to bounce ideas off of. This'll probably be the only thing I'll be working on 'cause I fucked up the nasu-verse in the other story. That'll need a better rewrite.