Author's Notes: My daughter ran to a dvd rack in the grocery store the other day and was so excited that she found the second Doctor on a dvd. When I looked at the dvd, it was Moe Howard from the Three Stooges in a suit with bow tie. I am SO using that in a story I'm working on! LOL!
With the exception of the first and last line of the Doctor's farewell at the end of the story, his speech comes from the First Doctor saying his goodbye to Susan at the end of The Dalek Invasion of Earth.
Thanks for taking this Road Trip with me, I hope that you've enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. :)
Previous Chapter: Etaipos starts to turn back when the Dcotor grabs his arm and hauls him back. "Just kidding, my boy. Where's your sense of humor? Now Ittypuss, I'll give you a choice. We can either have our conversation out here or in the TARDIS. We could even take a quick trip. Have you ever been to Skaro?" Etaipos gulps nervously and glances behind him for support. The area surrounding them is completely deserted. Hey! he thinks forlornly. Where did everybody go? Chapter 3 A Little Less Conversation. Please?
He begins to steer Etaipos away from the others. "Come Ittypuss, I'd like our discussion to be private. A great many things of importance should be held in private. Certain discussions, letting down one's guard, murder…"
Etaipos starts to turn back when the Dcotor grabs his arm and hauls him back. "Just kidding, my boy. Where's your sense of humor? Now Ittypuss, I'll give you a choice. We can either have our conversation out here or in the TARDIS. We could even take a quick trip. Have you ever been to Skaro?"
Etaipos gulps nervously and glances behind him for support. The area surrounding them is completely deserted. Hey! he thinks forlornly. Where did everybody go?
Chapter 3 A Little Less Conversation. Please?
Etaipos clears his throat and gives the Doctor a nervous smile. "So, Doctor, what is it that you would like to discuss with me?"
"Ittypuss! You're so formal! Everybody calls me Doctor, but you my boy, you may me call me Sir. Now young man, what exactly do you know about me?"
"Well, a bit." Etaipos's brow furrows as he recalls one particular lecture at the Academy. "I was enrolled in a class at the Academy that overviewed various incidents that occurred during your travels, your brief tenure as Lord President and even your exile on Earth when you worked for EUNICH."
The Doctor grits out, "That's U.N.I.T. ." He then gives Etaipos a proud smile and says, "It's good to know that they're finally teaching something worthwhile at that place. What's the name of the class? Something appropriate I hope, like Heroes, Icons and Idols."
Etaipos bites his lip in apprehension but plows on, "No, sir. It was called Renegades and Consequences of Tampering With Time and Space."
"Really?" inquires the Doctor. "Hmmm. Well, that's neither here nor there. The reason that I ask you what you know about me is that I don't want you to think that I'm only about doing exploits of heroism and valor. I'm also well known for protecting those that I love. Which is why I want to speak with you about Loviisa."
The Doctor sits on a fallen log and gestures for Etaipos to join him. He stares down at his clasped hands for awhile and gathers his thoughts before turning to the young man beside him.
He continues to gaze downward as he begins speaking in a firm but kind tone, "The others tell me that you're a good man. I've heard nothing but good things about you." He turns to look curiously at Etaipos. "Which is why I find it difficult to understand why news of your existence came from Andrain instead of Loviisa."
The Doctor watches Etaipos intently to gauge the boy's reaction to his next question. "Is there any reason for that? Something that I should know about?"
"Like what, Sir?" croaks Etaipos.
"Oh, I don't know. Perhaps you leave your socks lying around your living quarters, maybe you're easy to anger, or possibly there are some… Time Tots on the way?"
Etaipos looks back in confusion. "You mean like the Time Explorers? Is one of their troops arriving today?" He begins to appear excited at the prospect. "Oh, they'd love it up here! When are they due?"
The Doctor merely shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath trying to remember the meditation teachings of his mentor Cho-Je. "That's not what I meant," he grinds out. "I was asking you if Loviisa is with child." He quickly continues as it looks like Etaipos is about to question him again. "Specifically, with your child."
Etaipos seems to be pondering this statement until the realization hits him full force. He pales under the Doctor's assessing glance as he struggles to stammer out a response.
"No, no, no, no, no. No, Sir. No Time Tots on the way. There is no basis for any reasoning that would result in a Time Tot. There has been absolutely no action taken towards a project of that undertaking, definitely no experimentation and we haven't even discussed it in theory."
The Doctor is unable to curb his manic grin as he replies, "Well, that's good to know young man. Very good. And very scientifically put. That extra respiratory bypass really comes in handy, doesn't it? Not to mention, that's one more talk that we can avoid."
"Did your class happen to mention that I traveled with my granddaughter Susan?" At Etaipos's nod, the Doctor continues. "We traveled together for years, going anywhere and anywhen. She was my universe. I could deny her nothing."
The Doctor takes on a sad and wistful smile and reminisces, "We even lived on Earth for a time so that she could attend Coal Hill school in London and interact with human children. Our travels took us to a Dalek invasion of Earth where she met a young man named David and they fell in love. As much as she loved David, she was still willing to stay aboard the TARDIS to care for her old grandfather."
The Doctor plays with the ends of his scarf as he finishes his story. "I couldn't allow her to do that so I locked her out of the TARDIS." The Doctor takes a deep breath and exhales it slowly while gazing out into the distance. "That was something that I never thought that I'd do. Not to her. To this day, it has been the most difficult choice that I have ever had to make."
Etaipos's eyes fill with sorrow and compassion for the man before him. "I'm so sorry, Sir," he offers. "I can't even imagine having to make that type of choice."
The Doctor turns to Etaipos with a slight chuckle and says, "Well, I can understand that. Not much call for having to make a choice like that on Gallifrey. Such matters are settled more by logic than emotions. Just one of the many reasons that I left, really."
"Not to say that I don't miss Gallifrey at times. Don't get me wrong, there are times that I miss it a great deal. For instance, when I visit a planet with burnt orange skies or trees with silver leaves, or when the TARDIS needs a tune up."
Etaipos smiles at this and quietly asks, "Do you think that you could have been happy if you had stayed on Gallifrey? With your granddaughter?"
The Doctor wears a look on his face as if he's trying to figure out a puzzle. "Happy? No. Content? Yes. But happy? Absolutely not. Leaving Gallifrey to travel the universe was the best decision for both of us and I've never looked back."
The Doctor looks over at Etaipos and states, "I can understand your wanting to remain on Gallifrey to work in science and medicine. I, myself, am a scientist and take great pleasure in making new discoveries and as for a desire to help others…well, I am The Doctor after all."
"However, my boy," declares the Doctor as he places one hand on Etaipos's shoulder and the other gestures towards the sky. "There is so much more out there! Isn't there something else that you've ever, dare I say, dreamt of or imagined doing before tying yourself down to one place in time? To one woman?"
It's Etaipos's turn to gain a distant expression as he appears to consider the possibilities. "I would like to travel," he states with a decisive nod of his head. "I would very much like to see other worlds and experience their people and culture. Our own planet is so rich with history, I would like to see how other civilizations compare."
"However," he continues as he faces the Doctor with a determined and unwavering stare, "I wouldn't dare dream or imagine such a thing without Loviisa by my side."
The Doctor's voice matches his disbelief and scoffs, "Really?"
Etaipos's voice is firm yet genuine in his response. "Yes, she is the only woman that I would want to spend my forever with. Better with two, you might say."
"Better with two?" murmurs the Doctor as he ponders this declaration and looks off into the horizon as if trying to recall a lost memory. "Now where haven't I heard that yet?"
Remembering Etaipos's presence, the Doctor comes back to himself and stands up while patting the young man on the back. "You know, Ittypuss, there might be hope for you yet."
Etaipos quickly follows suit and rises to stand alongside the Doctor. "By the way, that wasn't merely the ramblings of an old man. I actually was trying to make a point with my story."
The Doctor places his hands in his pockets and confesses, "The reason that I've been so hard on you is because I care for Loviisa a great deal, as much as I did for my Susan. So I would like to give you this one last bit of advice before I take my leave."
The Doctor's eyes suddenly darken considerably and blaze with the full force of his strength and ire as he speaks to Etaipos in a cold and even tone.
"That girl means the universe to me as well, boy. Do you understand? The universe. So if you hurt her, that's exactly what I will show you. The universe. It would be no problem at all to take you to the farthest corner in the darkest galaxy, find the most barren, desolate, isolated planet in the most inaccessible period of time, and drop you off.
Etaipos's blood freezes and he gulps audibly before barely managing to croak out, "Excuse me, Sir. I just want to ensure that I'm not mistaken when I ask this, but…is that a threat?"
The Doctor's smile is as feral as the look in his eyes as he replies, "Consider it a veiled promise."
Etaipos flinches as the Doctor claps a hand on his shoulder and announces, "Well, I'm off to begin my farewells. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again before I go."
He gives a piercing stare and curt nod in Etaipos's direction before walking back towards the Outsiders camp. Once the Doctor is out of sight, Etaipos is finally able to breathe freely and release a sigh of relief.
Andrain seems to appear out of nowhere from behind a nearby tree as Etaipos continues watching the Doctor walk away and questions, "So, how did it go? It worked, right?"
Etaipos turns and gives him a wide grin full of confidence. "Like a charm! You were right about telling him how I've always wanted to travel. I think it made all the difference to have something in common."
Andrain wears a smug smile as he leans back against the tree. "I told you, man. If you want to get in good with the Doctor, then talk about anything that doesn't have to do with Gallifrey. He's a free spirit and you know as well as I do that's not something our people like to encourage."
Etaipos nods his head in understanding but looks wary and slightly fearful as he says, "I don't think that I'll accept any offers to tour the TARDIS, though."
Andrain looks sympathetic and agrees, "Yeah. I really wouldn't if I were you."
Etaipos looks over at Andrain with a question in his eyes. "Not that I don't appreciate your assistance, but why are you helping me?"
Andrain pushes off from the tree and faces Etaipos with the most serious expression that he's ever seen him wear.
"Because I like you. More importantly, I love my sister. I've spent my entire life watching out for her, advising her," he chuckles softly, "and especially fighting with her. This is one of the last times that I'll be able to do any of that for her because soon that will be your job. Except for the fighting with her," he smiles with impish glee, "that one, I'll keep."
Andrain then turns serious again. "Now, you must swear on all of your lives that you'll never repeat a word of what I've just told you to anyone, especially Loviisa. Understand?"
Etaipos looks very solemn as he replies, "Yes, I understand. I pledge an oath to retain utter discretion in this matter for all time, less failure to comply will reign down everlasting shame and disgrace onto my family's House and our friendship."
Andrain stares at the boy in disbelief and asks, "Seriously? You can't just say, 'I promise' or 'Okay'?"
Etaipos looks sheepish while Andrain shakes his head at him. "Well, my cohort in crime, let us celebrate our victory." He holds his hand up in the air and says, "High five!"
Etaipos studies him in confusion. "What are you doing?"
Andrain answers, "It's an Earth gesture that the Doctor taught me. It's used in celebration." He urges the young man to reciprocate the gesture and then slaps his hand.
"Ouch! That hurt!" yells Etaipos.
Andrain laughs outright. "Oh, come on! I didn't even slap you that hard!"
Etaipos is almost petulant in his response. "You didn't need to hit it that hard. That's the hand with the scratch."
Andrain rolls his eyes and puts his arm around Etaipos's shoulder and says, "Come on, Wuss. Let's go find some fun."
Etaipos smiles in response and inquires, "What's a wuss?"
A devilish gleam in Andrain's eyes and a smirk on his face instantly appear as he answers, "An Earth term that the Doctor told me about. It means friend."
Etaipos grins wide in thanks and states, "Interesting. Perhaps you could teach me some more things. For instance, romantic social interaction and certain gestures that Loviisa would appreciate."
"Or maybe not," replies Andrain. "Let's leave any discussions on romantic interactions or gestures regarding my sister completely out of our relationship. In fact, let's make an oath on it. We'll work on that on our way back to the camp."
In the distance, Loviisa clicks off the camera and microphone on one of her father's old recording devices. "Did you get everything?" inquires her co-conspirator.
"Every single word. Thanks for clearing up all of the static, Doctor."
"Oh, anytime. You know how I love to be of help. So, are you planning to post that on Televid?"
Loviisa seems to consider this for a moment before answering, "No, I don't think so." She sports her own devilish look that is practically identical to her sibling. "It will make so much better blackmail."
"Aha!" laughs the Doctor. "I see that I've taught you well." The Doctor's demeanor changes from one of humor to great affection. "Are you sure about this, Loviisa? You don't have to stay here and be lumbered with that boy. We could travel together, you and I. We could visit new planets, ancient star systems…civilizations without boys."
Loviisa laughs at this and replies, "As much as I love traveling with you, and I do, I found what I'm looking for right here. There's no need for me to search any further." She quickly interjects, "Of course, I still expect you to drop in unexpectedly and whisk me away to fabulous places. In fact, I insist on it!"
She takes in the Doctor's sad smile and defeated expression and says, "Hey, come on, laugh. These are the jokes, people." With the Doctor's slight smile as her only response, she asks in a voice full of concern, "What's wrong, Doctor? Why are you having such a hard time with this?"
Not wanting to upset her any further, the Doctor admits, "I spoke to Etaipos about leaving Susan behind when she fell in love with David." He pouts a little as he explains, "I just wasn't expecting to have to do it again so soon."
Knowing that the Doctor spoke about Susan, with Etaipos of all people, relieves any concerns she may have had and immediately eases the worries that she had carried in her hearts. For him to speak of Susan to a complete stranger tells her more than words can, that he has accepted Etaipos into their family. She does not tell him that she realizes this. She is wise enough to know that some things don't really need saying.
Instead she offers, "You're not leaving me behind, Doctor. You are going to continue to visit." She pokes her finger into his chest to accentuate each word. "I still intend to have the most amazing adventures with you now and then." She has a twinkle in her eye as she teases, "Besides, if Etaipos and I decide to marry, we'll both be able to travel with you."
The Doctor scoffs at this statement and declares with a mixture of disbelief and disgust, "Newlyweds on board my ship? Ha! That'll be the day!"
The Doctor pulls Loviisa into a long lasting hug and places a kiss on the top of her head before finally letting her go. He clears his throat, "Come on, now. Time to rejoin the others. You know how I hate long goodbyes."
They make their way back to find everyone has gathered around the TARDIS to say goodbye. Leela gives the Doctor a shrewd look and asks, "Leaving so soon, Doctor?"
"Well you know me, Leela. Cause a bit of trouble and then take my leave at the proper time," states the Doctor with a grin.
Leela's returning smile is wide with memories. "How well I remember." She walks up to him and embraces him fondly. "Safe journey, Doctor."
The Doctor grins manically and asks, "Now, Savage, what would be the fun in that? Well everyone, I know it's been wonderful having me but I really must go." He gives a sidelong glance to Etaipos and questions in a low voice, "Last chance for a trip to Skaro? I could introduce you to the Emperor."
Andred's eyebrow arches inquisitively as he asks, "Did you just say Skaro?"
"What? Skaro? Don't be ridiculous. I said Scarbrough. You should really have a physical, old man. I do believe that your hearing is beginning to go," replies the Doctor.
Andred remains skeptical as the Doctor delivers his final farewell. "It's been delightful for you, I'm sure, but time and space is calling and I'm afraid that I must answer. One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye, my dears."
Loviisa looks absolutely stricken at the Doctor's speech. "That sounds so final. Are you alright, Doctor? You're not regenerating are you?"
"No, I'm not regenerating!" contests the Doctor. "I was giving a heartfelt departure, not my eulogy!" The Doctor's tone gentles considerably and carries a trace of worry when he addresses Loviisa. "You know, for a Gallifreyan, you're awfully dramatic."
The Doctor steps into the TARDIS and turns to give one last smile. "Goodbye." He then stares straight at Etaipos. "Until next time."
A wheezing, groaning sound fills the air as the TARDIS dematerializes and takes the Doctor to his next adventure. Etaipos remains staring downcast at the empty space left by the TARDIS and Leela asks him, "Etaipos, you look so sad. What's wrong?"
Etaipos turns a sorrowful gaze to Leela and responds, "I can't seem to curry any favor with any of the men in Loviisa's life. At least the Commander and Nesbin don't seem to want to kill me anymore, but I barely made any headway with the Doctor."
Leela's trained hunter's eyes spy something sitting on the rocky outcrop near Etaipos and she reaches over to pick it up. Leela's smile and gaze are extremely kind as she hands Etaipos the package and says, "Oh, I don't know, Etaipos. I think you may have made a better impression that you thought." She hands him the package. "He left this for you, it has your name on it."
Etaipos slowly opens the bag as the others approach to see what the Doctor has left behind. "Well?" asks Loviisa, unable to contain her curiosity and excitement any longer. "What is it? What did he leave for you?"
Etaipos faces them all, absolutely beaming. "It's a bag of jelly babies." Everyone stares at him in bewilderment, with the exception of a snickering Andrain, as Etaipos looks up into the sky and says, "Thanks, Wuss."