Allright lovelies, you asked and I delivered. This story is such fluff, I hope you enjoy it. I'll post more as it comes to me but don't expect a lot of deep plot on this one :) As always, come follow me on www pavarti com and/or leave me comments! I wrote this special for you so I hope you enjoy it :)
Special love to YNotJacob and Shawnie for their constant support and willingness to put up with my over use of "OK" and making up words :)
Sun filtered into my room as I opened my eyes with a smile. My bed was soft and my happiness verged on releasing into a laugh. I hadn't felt this alive in a long time.
Last night had been the first time I had slept through the night without waking with a scream. The nightmares were gone and the life I almost died for dissipated like the memory of a dream. Pulling my arms over my head, I stretched and felt my muscles pull and arch.
I got out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and tank top over my underwear. Throwing a flannel over my shoulders, I bounced downstairs. Checking the clock on the stove I saw it was only 6:45. Charlie would be home soon.
I started the coffee and pulled the ingredients out of the fridge to make bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches on muffins - Charlie's favorite. As I cooked my mind drifted back to last night and the feeling of Jacob's hands on my hips and his lips on my throat. A tremble broke loose along my skin and the urge to call him was overwhelming.
Today I was supposed to study with Angela and then go out to La Push in the afternoon. The thought of seeing Jake made me nervous and excited. It was like the electrical current running along my skin couldn't decide what directionto take my emotions.
Last night had been eye-opening for me. Something inside of me woke up and demanded I listen to it. I was alive. I was capable of being happy and moving on. Life hadn't ended when the Cullens left town, like I'd thought. In fact, life hadn't begun for me, not really, until last night.
I mixed the eggs in a bowl before adding milk and pouring it into a pan. Popping the muffins into the toaster oven, I heard Charlie's cruiser pull into the drive.
"Hi Dad!" I called when the door opened.
"Hey." As I moved the cooking eggs around in the pan, I heard Charlie pull his shoulder holster off and hang it in its place before coming into the kitchen.
"Breakfast?" Charlie's eyebrow was cocked with surprise as he watched me putter around the kitchen as if my zombie days had never happened.
"Yep, late shift doesn't let you eat right. Sit down, the coffee's almost ready."
"Okay…" Sitting in his chair, my father watched me float across the floor to retrieve a coffee mug. A hum sprung loose from the back of my throat as I poured his coffee and fetched the milk.
"Alright Bella, are you on drugs?"
"No! God, Dad." I smiled at his confused face. I'd caused him so much pain the last few months. "I'm just feeling better, that's all and, well, I wanted to do something for you."
"Well thanks, Bells," he replied with a smile, willing to take my word for it. Sometimes I wondered why he trusted me so much. I was a pretty crappy daughter most of the time.
With a sigh I returned to my cooking and finished making two breakfast sandwiches. I poured myself some juice and sat down at the table to eat with Charlie.
"So, what's your plan today? More moping and depressed introspection?" He was teasing me, poking the bear.
"Oh I was thinking about going shopping, maybe getting my nails done," I deadpanned.
"That's it, you're going to therapy, or getting institutionalized," he laughed.
"Ha, okay. I'm going to Angela's to study and then out to La Push."
"You've been spending a lot of time out there." He took a sip of his coffee and looked up at me. "Spending time with Jake seems good for you."
"Yeah, it is," I mumbled, really not wanting to have this discussion after last night. Usually my father's not so subtle hints that he'd like to see me with Jake were annoying, but since I'd kissed my best friend, all they did was make the heat rise in my face against my will.
"Well, I'll be on third shift again tonight. Covering for Bobby is killing me, but you know, the man gets to spend some time with his new baby, so…" Charlie took a last bite out of his sandwich and stood up, wiping the crumbs on his uniform onto the floor. "Have fun tonight. Don't drive too late, okay? Either come home early or just stay there."
"Okay, Dad." I looked down before he could see the giddy smile spreading on my face at the idea of being with Jacob and having no curfew.
Charlie left me to do the dishes while he showered and climbed into bed. I could hear the sound of his snores when I went upstairs to change. Looking at the clock, I saw that it was already 9:30 so I hopped in the shower and dressed quickly.
The jeans I chose were tighter than usual and the t-shirt lower cut, but I didn't let myself think about the fact that there was a new reason for me to look nice, only that I was feeling better. Grabbing my Chapstick and bag, I hurried down the steps and climbed into my red monstrosity to drive over to Angela's house.
Angela was as good a friend as I could have hoped for. Even in my zombie state she agreed to be my partner for the English project we had on journalism. I can't imagine less fun than being partnered with me, but Angela volunteered, probably expecting to do all the work herself. I didn't deserve to have someone like her in my life. I had been a useless lump for the past few months. A blob. A nothing. Everyone else had given up on me except Jacob and Angela.
When I arrived the rumble of my truck announced me to the whole block. Angela came outside to meet me and stopped short when she saw me.
"Is that a smile?"
"Bella? What's going on? Are you… have you been taken over by the pod people?" Angela came over and pushed my hair up and began searching the back of my neck for a sign of infection. "Well, it doesn't look like you've been possessed, but there must be some explanation."
By now I was giggling, down right giggling at her antics.
"I missed you Ange!" I pulled her into a hug, surprising her even more. For a moment her arms hung stiff, but soon she warmed up and hugged me back.
"You're really okay now?" She whispered, the sadness in her voice breaking my heart.
"I think so, I'm better anyway."
I gave her a last tight squeeze before releasing her from my hold but she refused to break contact. Taking my hand in hers she pulled me inside.
"Where are your brothers?" I asked. The house was unusually quiet.
"Dad took them to little league tryouts. Thank God." She smiled pulling me down onto the couch. "If you don't want to talk I understand, but did something happen? Are you really back?"
Angela's brown eyes were soft and pleading. I could see in them how much I had hurt her by giving in to my depression. Selfish, that was the only word for how I'd been behaving. Like a child who didn't get what she wanted, I'd thrown a fit and held my breath hoping to get my way. I bit my lip and looked away from her, guilt washing over me.
"It's alright, really, we don't have to talk about it, let's just get started." She started to stand so I reached out and grabbed her forearm.
"No, Ange, I… I know I've been really messed up the past few months and I put everyone through so much, but I'm feeling, I don't know, healed…"
"Good." Her smile was simple and pure.
"I guess I just didn't know how to cope with Edward leaving, but he did and he's not coming back and I don't want to be that girl anymore, you know? The girl who just pines away until there's nothing left."
"I'm glad. You're better than that."
"Thanks." I looked down, away from her kind eyes, shy after saying so much.
"Look, next weekend, let's do something. There's this movie I've been wanting to see and Ben said he'd go but only if we got other people to go along. He thinks it's gonna be a chick flick."
"Is it a chick flick?" I teased, relaxing.
I laughed at her coy answer. Then she laughed at my laughter. We spent the rest of the afternoon in easy communion, talking and working and catching up. I had missed so much, but Angela filled me in. As is her way she never gossiped and never judged, just told me what people had been doing and how classes were going.
The way she talked you'd think I'd been in Tanzania for the last few months, not sitting a few desks over from her. But as I listened I realized I didn't know any of the things she told me. I hadn't noticed that Lauren and Tyler had started dating and I didn't realize that Mr. Mendez was on medical leave.
How didn't I know my favorite teacher wasn't even there anymore? The degree of my detachment was mind boggling. I felt lucky to be here with Angela again, lucky to be alive.
As we finished planning our project and started cleaning up after our snack, the front door burst open and two very loud and overly dirty nine-year-old boys rushed in.
"Isaac!" Angela's father cried as he followed close behind. "Take off your clothes in the laundry room! Do not go up those…!"
Cleats and baseball gloves now littered the living room and the boys were nowhere to be seen, having disappeared upstairs.
"Hi Ange. Hi Bella," her father mumbled as he picked up mud-caked shoes and took them outside.
"That's my cue." I smiled and stood up.
"You sure? You don't want to stay for the after-show? Seriously, watching them eat is like going to a zoo exhibit."
"I'm pretty sure I can live without that," I laughed before pulling my friend into another, easier hug. "I missed you. Thanks for today."
"I missed you too honey. Don't disappear again okay?"
"I promise," I smiled, then headed outside.
I passed Rev. Webber on my way to the truck and waved. He nodded with a grumble as he beat the cleats against each other. In my truck, I leaned my head back before starting the engine.
I was really tired. Being social and talking to people was harder than I remembered. I guess I was just out of shape. Like everything else, if you don't use them regularly the muscles atrophy until they are too weak to function. I'm glad it hadn't gotten that far.
I turned the key in the ignition and backed out onto the main drive. Forks was a small town and everything was near everything else. As I drove I looked around, marveling as spring blossomed around me. I hadn't noticed the thawing of the snow or the budding crocuses until Jacob's warmth woke me from hibernation.
The trip to La Push was easy and the truck mostly drove itself. Everything about being closer to Jacob was just… easy.
When I pulled up he came out of the garage, an unfamiliar smile on his face. Last night after having pizza we had talked until I left but didn't mention our kiss. It had been… mind altering and as I looked at him through the windshield, I felt my body warm and relax. Just being near him made me soft and melty like caramel.
"Hey," I called, climbing out of the truck's cab.
Jacob walked toward me, minus his usual exuberance. I bit my lip and closed the door, wondering if something was wrong. I hadn't let myself consider that what happened between us might backfire, that he might not feel the way I did. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt, but I knew I was happier today than I'd been in months and the difference was him.
When he finally got close he stopped in front of me, his long hair pulled back behind his neck, his narrow eyes studying me.
"What?" I said, shuffling my feet, unsure of what was going on with him. Why was he looking at me like that? I pulled my lip in between my teeth and crossed my arms over myself, uncomfortable and unsure what to do.
"Don't," he said, reaching out and running his thumb across my lip until I released it from my teeth.
He bent in close, until I could smell the soap on his skin.
He cut me off, bringing his lips down to mine. His kiss was different from last night's. Then it had been desperate and hungry. Once he gave himself permission to be with me and knew I wasn't running away, we had kissed for hours, eating pizza and laughing. This kiss, however, was different.
His lips moved with mine slowly. I released my arms and leaned up into him, letting him support my weight as I fell into his embrace. I placed my palms against his chest, feeling how strong he had grown. His hands held my hips as warmth filled my soul. The slow easy way he kissed me made me swoon. Swoon! Like girls in movies or maidens after being rescued by the knight in shining armor. I would have felt stupid if I'd been able to think about anything but his lips against mine.
I brought my hand to his face as we kissed and ran my fingers along his cheek. He was so beautiful and his skin was like fire under my touch. Too soon he pulled away, his eyes still holding the dark intensity he'd had before.
"I'm glad you're here."
"Me too." I bent my head and blushed. Things were different - permanently different - between us. But things were so much better.
After a pause, Jacob took my hand and led me into the garage.
"So Quil and Embry are off digging the pit," he spoke casually rubbing his thumb across my flesh, leaving me just short of heart failure. I left my bag in the truck, not needing my notes. I really had no intention of studying.
"Yeah! The weather's holding out and everyone's a little stir crazy. Seemed like a fun idea."
"Okay. I just might need to borrow a sweatshirt or something."
"I'll keep you warm." His voice lowered into a growl.
This side of Jacob, the commanding, confident, quiet Jacob was new and it made my stomach fill with knots. Once inside the garage he turned and looked at me again.
I didn't know what I wanted, if I wanted the easy Jake back or if I liked him like this. My body wanted him to kiss me again. I backed away, heading for the couch.
"So, we can go down to the beach whenever you want, or we can hang out here…" Jake's voice cracked a little when I sat down on the couch, still watching him.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
"Whatever." I smiled as his face relaxed and he looked away from me.
"Alright, you want a soda?"
"Sure, sure." I leaned back on the couch and stretched my legs out along the cushions. Watching him get the sodas from the small refrigerator, I noticed again the curve of his back and the way his muscles rolled along with his movements. He stood and turned in one fluid motion before kicking the door shut with his boot.
"Here." Handing me a drink he nudged my legs with his foot. When I didn't move he raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm not allowed to sit with you?" he flirted easily.
"There's a toll."
"Is there now?" He towered over me but somehow I felt powerful, returning his teasing for once instead of running away.
"And the soda's not enough huh?"
Jacob squatted next to me his face within my reach, but I didn't touch him. I rolled onto my side and looked at him, really looked. Underneath his bravado I could see his hesitation. His hands steadied his weight by holding onto the cushion beneath me but he didn't lean in.
"So what's the toll?" he cocked his head to the side, letting his ponytail fall over his shoulder.
"A kiss." My voice spoke with more confidence than I had.
"I can do that." Jake leaned in and kissed me on the nose.
"Not exactly what I meant." My smile was broad, matching his perfectly.
"Oh, my mistake." He leaned in again and quickly kissed my forehead.
"Mmm, no, in fact you're getting further away from your intended target."
"I am?" He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise before putting his finger on his chin in a thoughtful pose.
"Oh well, guess you don't really want to sit on the couch with me." I rolled on my back and tucked my hands behind my head, stretching my legs out to their full length.
"Hey! It's my couch!"
"Nope, mine now." I closed my eyes and pretended I couldn't feel his eyes on my profile, or the heat from his body so close, or the pounding in my heart as I waited.
I heard Jake's body shift and the butterflies occupying my stomach fluttered, threatening to fly right out of my skin, but I forced myself to keep my eyes closed. After what felt like a month, his breath brushed against my cheek as he kissed me.
I remained still as he placed one soft kiss after another on my cheek and down to my jaw. When he reached the curve of my neck I turned my head, giving him access to my neck. Peppering my skin with unsatisfyingly frustrating kisses, he moved up until he reached my ear.
"Are you going to let me on the couch now?" he breathed against me, before pulling my earlobe into his mouth.
"Ohh...Ohhkay..." my voice shook as chills ran down my spine. He shifted and raised himself above me as I opened my eyes and looked up at him.
"You are so beautiful." He looked down at me, studying my face, like he was memorizing every imperfection he could find.
"No..." I blushed biting my lip.
Instead of protesting he lowered himself against me, making me gasp from his warm weight. I placed my arms around his neck, and pulled his ponytail holder out, releasing his long hair around us.
"Bells..." he breathed before bringing his lips down to mine. We kissed. A slow deep kiss. I pulled him closer to me and arched up against him, wanting to feel so much more. One arm wrapped around me, holding his weight while the other gripped my side.
The heat between us built as we kissed until I pulled away, needing to taste more of him. Bringing my hands down to his waist I pulled his shirt up, silently begging him to take it off. With a smirk he leaned back and pulled it off.
"You're... Jake, you're kind of beautiful you know that?"
He smiled his new seductive smile and brought his lips down to my neck. I gasped as he pulled my flesh into his mouth. Wrapping my arms around him, I let my hands explore his back. The tight muscles along his spine bulged as he held himself above me. Heat ran up my hands, turning my arms to liquid as I roamed his skin.
His kisses began to travel down to my shoulder as his free hand massaged up under my shirt. The anticipation was more than I'd been prepared for. I wanted him to touch me. I was dying for him to touch me. This was so much better than any of the times I had prayed for Edward to lay his hands on me, because I knew, eventually, Jake would touch me. He wouldn't push me away or make me wait, he would claim me and hold me.
I was thrilled and terrified, the sensations he sent flying through my nerves as he moved his hand further up and kissed along my collar bone were so delicious it was painful.
"God!" I exclaimed, pushing him off of me.
"What? What'd I...?" He began but stopped when I pulled my shirt over my head leaving my simple black bra on. He gazed at me hungrily, taking in all my white skin with the intensity of a tiger in the night, always starving, always ready for the hunt.
He leaned down, bringing his lips to mine but this time his hand didn't stop at my hip, instead it moved up until he palmed my breast firmly.
I moaned, relaxing into his touch, feeling the warmth of his desire spread through me and liquify my limbs. Slowly, his hand slid behind me until he reached the clasp of my bra. It came undone easily in his hands.
"Are you sure you've never done this before?" I asked breathlessly, smiling.
"Yes, why?" his hand moved under the side of my bra and inched forward toward my chest.
"That was a tough maneuver you just pulled," I teased, my chest rising and falling with each shaky breath.
"Was it now?" His eyes were locked on mine, but our attention was on the migration of his touch.
"Yep, few get it right on the first try."
"And you know this from experience?"
"Nope, not me, just, you know, girls' locker-room talk."
"Well, you'll have to tell them all what an expert I am."
"I'll be sure to do that." Finally his hand reached my naked breast and the heat of his palm scraped against my nipple. I hissed and closed my eyes, leaning my head back so I could push my chest further into his hand.
Encouraged by my reaction, Jake massaged me, rolling calloused fingers across my nipple, exploring different ways to touch me. He pushed my bra up and I flailed for a moment, pulling it off of my arms. His eyes were full of love as he watched me struggle, but he didn't laugh.
"Fuck Bells," he moaned as I moved lower on the couch so I was lying properly beneath him. His long legs were bent and flowed over the armrest but his body fit with mine perfectly.
His next kiss was passionate but quick before he moved his mouth lower. He kissed my neck and my shoulder, biting the skin there softly, making me roll my pelvis against him. Wrapping my legs around his waist I encouraged his movements. Soon he was breathing against my nipple.
He licked me gently, teasing it into a hardened nub, before taking me into his mouth. The heat of his kiss seared through me. The sensation of his tongue against my nipple and his hand on my other breast crashed through me and I lost all sense of where I was. I pulled on his hair, pulling him tighter against me, begging him to take more of me into his mouth. His teeth grazed my skin and I moaned louder, hiking my leg higher around him.
He moved to my other breast, the cold air hitting the abandoned one and shocking me with the temperature change. Soon his hand covered it and his mouth lowered around me again.
His kiss deepened and he explored my flesh with his tongue, lips and teeth. I rocked against him, frustrated and in a frenzy.
"Come here," I finally commanded, pulling him by the hair back up to my lips. We kissed with abandon and his arms wrapped around my back, crushing me against him. His hips were lined up with mine now and through the fabric of our jeans I could feel his erection hard against me.
His passion was dangerous; he was untamed and desperate, pushed far past reason with lust. We were teetering on the edge.
"Jake," I moaned into his mouth.
"Yeah, baby?" he replied between kisses.
"I do love you, you know."
"I know, baby, I know." He kissed me again and pressed harder against me.
"Jake, man!" A voice called as something crashed near the entrance. Jake jumped up and grabbed his shirt, covering me with it.
"Yeah, what?" His tone was annoyed and pained.
"Do you still have that snow shovel of my dad's? Why are you naked?" Quil turned and looked around before finally spotting me on the couch.
"Oh shit! Oh shit!" He screamed before running out of the barn, Jake hot on his heels.
Crap. I sat up and grabbed my bra. Guess it was time to head to the beach. At least I didn't have a curfew.