Title: You're Not Him
Genre: Romance/ Hurt/ Comfort
Pairings: Puckleberry, Quinn/Sam, Slight Brittana, Finn/Puck friendship, Rachel/Sam/Puck friendship, Quinn/Rachel/Santana friendship
Word Count: 5,158 words
Summary:"You stopped yourself from hitting me that night. Your father never bothered to stop, Noah. He didn't give a damn about who he hurt. You'd never hurt me and our baby. I'm sure of that, Noah. Please, just give yourself a little credit and see that for yourself." Slightly AU
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, as much as I wish I was clever enough to come up with this piece of genius. I am just a girl who fell in love with the characters and wants to write a story of her own. Please review and tell me what you think! :)
Xxx Glee xxx
Her eyes widened, her breathing labored and she leaned against the wall for the support she so desperately needed. She slid down the wall, tears dampening her cheeks as she did so, soft sobs racking her small body as she cried. She cried for the child she was having, for the career she knew she was going to have to forego and for being completely alone. How could she not be when she had no way of contacting the father of the life in her? And even if she did, what guarantee did she have that he would be willing to raise a child?
"Give me a minute, Sam. Please."
She knew that the worried voice at the other side of the door had sat himself on the floor, waiting for her to come out, but she remained the way she was. Sam could wait. Right now, she needed time. Time to think, time to collect her thoughts, time to decided. Was she going to give her baby away? How much of her career was she going to have to put on hold? How was she going to break the news to her family?
The answer to her first question was simple because of course, she was keeping her child. That decision had been made before she had even peed on the damn stick. She'd grown up without a mother. She knew what it felt like to be deprived of a mother's love and she'd be damned if she let her child go through the exact same thing. No, she was keeping her child. She'd love him or her so much that her baby would never be deprived of love.
As for her career? Well, she was going to have to continue waiting tables at her college friend's family hotel then. Of course, she was still going to be on Broadway and win a Tony. Just not by the age of twenty-five then. Maybe thirty. It had been a dream since she was a little girl and it had not changed once. The arrival of her baby would not change that. Of course, her career and dreams had just been pushed down her priorities list. Her baby daughter or son came first.
And her family? Yeah, her dads would be mad at first but they'd understand and support her. Because if there was one thing she loved most about her dads, it was that they loved her unconditionally. They stuck by her through her ups and downs, and through her rights and wrongs. And as for Sam? Well, he was about to find out.
She took a deep breath, wiped the last of her tears and straightened her blouse. She opened the door, only to giggle when her best friend landed on his back and groaned.
Sam Evans opened his green eyes, accepting the hand Rachel offered and pulled himself up. He wiped the imaginary dust of his jacket and smiled when he realized that his antics had made Rachel laugh. Honestly, he was always making her laugh without even trying.
Sam ran his hand through his blond hair and raised his eyebrows at her. "What's going on, Rach?"
She smiled sadly at him as she took his hand and guided him to her living room couch.
"You might want to sit down."
"I'm fine right here, Rachel," he said, impatiently waiting for her to tell him what it was that was upsetting her.
His eyes widened, colour draining from his face as he wheezed, "What?"
"I'm pregnant," she repeated louder, coming to terms with reality.
Sam, however, seemed to have trouble grasping reality and fainted, knocking his head on the tea table as he did so.
Xxx Glee xxx
"You know, considering you're not the father of this baby, your reaction is completely hilarious," Rachel grinned as she pressed the pack of ice onto her best friend's head where a nasty bruise had formed.
"I'd show you the finger, but that would mean two hours of you lecturing me on barbaric and thuggish behavior," Sam groaned.
Rachel rolled her eyes. "And you say I'm dramatic."
A comfortable silence lapsed between them and Sam took the time to study his best friend. She was pale and tired. Tear tracks were still evident on her face and he hated the way her eyes didn't seem to twinkle any longer. Considering that it had been her eyes that had been the reason he had noticed her in high school, he'd obviously notice them first.
Both of them had gone to the same high school in Lima. Rachel had been a social outcast when he had met her. He still remembered the way she had introduced herself to him when he had first walked into McKinley. She'd been enthusiastic about showing him around, a large smile plastered on her face as she shook his hand. She had an air of confidence about her that he had immediately deemed annoying since it was on the verge of cockiness and arrogance but since he hadn't made any friends yet, he had stuck by her anyway. Surprisingly, he'd realized that he had enjoyed her company. Until lunch time.
They were on the way to the cafeteria when suddenly, Rachel was drenched in ice cold syrup. He remembered feeling shock that someone would actually throw a slushee into another person's face before feeling angry when he looked at Rachel. She was frowning, not at all surprised (he would later find out that this was an everyday occurrence) and she had tried looking indifferent. But her eyes, they were so expressive. Hurt, anger and even a little bit of betrayal. And so, Sam did not think twice when he punched the jock that had caused Rachel pain.
He got his first ever detention that day. And his first lecture from Rachel. It was also the first of the many times he would be fighting the father of Rachel's baby. Noah Puckerman aka Puck.
"Are you going to call Puck?" he asked and almost wished he hadn't when Rachel tensed and the sorrow she had been trying to conceal became very obvious.
"How, Sam? I have no way of contacting him, remember?"
He nodded, feeling stupid for asking. Rachel sighed and unwanted tears gathered in her eyes. She stopped pressing the ice pack and Sam smiled sympathetically as he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. He swallowed the lump in his throat, closing his eyes to hide his own tears. Damn Puckerman. Come next week, he was hunting that bastard down.
Xxx Glee xxx
I'm leaving, Rachel. We've been fighting too much. You have your dreams and I have mine. Whoever said that love was always enough is a douche bag because seriously, love alone is not enough. You don't trust me. I can't let go of the past. We have our differences. And I guess we were never meant to be.
Fuck, Rach, this is fucking hard because I love you and I always will. You're going to hate me for leaving but I know it's the right decision right now.
xxx Glee xxx
Noah Puckerman hated being in Lima. He hated the small town, hated the people and well, basically everything about this fucked up town. His heart ached at the thought of New York, of his apartment, of the girl he left behind. Ah, that was why he hated Lima more than ever now. No Rachel.
Puck nodded at the tall man walking towards him, raising his eyebrows at his best friend. What he was not expecting was the moment when Finn Hudson smacked him on the back of his head. They had not done anything so childish since high school. Puck cursed as he glared at Finn, surprised when Finn was actually glaring back at him. And when Finn glared, he meant business.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Puckerman?" Finn spat and Puck inwardly cringed. The use of his surname and profanity? Oh, he was in deep shit.
"Leaving Rachel. What the hell did you do that for?"
Puck sighed. "It's none of your business."
"It is when my half-brother comes barging into my room in the middle of the night and starts hitting me because my best friend is a fucking douche bag!"
"Kurt's in town?" he asked, desperately trying to change the subject. Finn narrowed his eyes at his pathetic attempt.
"Puck, what happened?" Finn asked, his tone suddenly gentle and Puck almost rolled his eyes if not for the pain in his heart again.
"We were fighting too much," Puck shrugged, wanting so badly to be done with the conversation.
"So you ran away like a scared little girl? What, you didn't love her enough to work things out?"
Anger coursed through him at Finn's words. How dare he suggest that he hadn't loved Rachel enough? He glared at his best friend, ready to punch him, when he stopped, feeling a sense of déjà vu. Hadn't this been the reason he had left in the first place? He shook his head dejectedly and walked towards his truck, only to turn around when he heard his name being called again, this time with so much hatred.
Pain throbbed his nose as he felt the familiar crimson liquid in his hand as he clutched his nose. Fuck, only one person could punch him like that. He looked up from the ground, not at all surprised when Finn rushed to his side as Sam Evans towered above him, glaring at Puck as though he was the vilest thing alive, which in Sam's eyes, was true.
"Give me one good reason why I just shouldn't kill you right now," Sam hissed and Puck helped himself up. He felt Finn tense beside him and he patted his best friend's shoulder, telling him that he didn't need any defending.
"I don't have one," Puck admitted and Sam seethed. He turned to Finn. "I'll catch up with you later. I promise."
Finn nodded, and he left after narrowing his eyes at Sam. Those two had never got along. When he and Rachel had gotten together in senior year, they had had to deal with the two of their best friends constantly at each other's throats. Not pretty.
"She's been crying non-stop for the past week, you jackass," Sam felt like showing the man in front of him the middle finger but decided it was too immature. "Do you know how it feels to listen to her cry over you when you left her for no good reason? Do you know what it's like to go to work every day, worried about her? Of course you don't."
Puck gritted his teeth. "Listen, Evans -"
"No, you listen. When you and Rachel first got together, everyone, including me, expected you to dump her. You surprised us when you ended up following her to New York. And yeah, you've had your fair share of squabbles but all that stuff you wrote in that note you left her? Bullshit. So, I want to know the truth, Puckerman. Before I kill you for hurting the girl I love as a sister."
Puck sighed and leaned against his truck. "Who's with her?"
Sam understood the true meaning behind his question. "She's with Quinn and Santana. I'm not stupid to leave her alone. So you going to tell me why my sister is probably going to raise your child alone?"
Xxx Glee xxx
"I totally call godmother!"
Rachel groaned and put her pillow on her head, determined to drown out the voices around her. She missed the mornings when she used to wake up on her own. She'd open her eyes with a smile on her face, sure that the day was going to be a good one, and then kissed Noah on the forehead. It wouldn't wake him up; he'd just stir a little. Rachel frowned, pushing all thoughts of Noah from her head. Or at least she tried to.
"Yo, Man Hands. Wake the fuck up so I could kill you for not telling me you're fucking knocked up," a raspy voice said loudly and Rachel groaned.
"Rachel, wake up before we drag you out of bed."
Irritated, the petite brunette got up and glared at her two friends. Why was she friends with these two bitches again? Oh yeah, because of Puck and Sam.
Quinn Fabray grinned at her as she hugged her best friend and Rachel sighed, hugging her back. It was difficult, being angry at Quinn Fabray. Sure, in high school, it would have been easy but Quinn's come a long way since then. The once HBIC was now one of the nicest people Rachel was thankful for. The girl who, once upon a time, had been one of the leaders who had led the slushee attacks on Rachel now chewed anyone who dared hurt her friends. Quinn Fabray was the girl who changed to be a better person when Sam took the time to believe in her, get to know the real her and eventually, fall in love with her. And since Sam did, so had Rachel, albeit begrudgingly at first.
Santana, on the other hand, had not changed much since high school. She was still mean, crude and her words could always pierce through Rachel. One thing that did change though, was that they were friends. They had to, after spending so much time together in their last year of high school when she and Noah had started dating. After all, Santana was Noah's right hand bitch.
Rachel glared at the Hispanic beauty, "I would appreciate you not talking that way in front of my child when he or she is born. So, you might as well start toning it down now."
Quinn snorted and Santana raised her eyebrows at her. "I'm not changing for a kid."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Fine. Then Quinn is godmother."
Quinn beamed and Santana scowled. Rachel smugly walked past her friends to make herself some breakfast. It no longer surprised her how much she could eat. She was hungry all the time.
"So, I'm assuming Puck doesn't know?" Santana asked and Rachel sighed.
"I have no way of contacting him, San," she reminded her friend. Quinn patted her back comfortingly and took the knife out of her hands, gesturing that she would do it for her and that Rachel should be sitting down.
"Neither do I. I'm going to kill that bastard when he gets back."
"If he comes back," Rachel corrected her and thanked Quinn for the bread with Nutella and peanut butter. She grabbed the jar of pickles and added them to her sandwich. Quinn and Santana watched her with disgust before Quinn shook herself. She smiled gently at Rachel.
Xxx Glee xxx
So you going to tell me why my sister is probably going to raise your child alone?
His world stopped and he just stared at Sam. Your child. Alone. He blinked.
Sam mentally cursed himself for letting that piece of information slip. Telling Puck was supposed to be Rachel's right, not his. But damn it, he was too bloody angry to care right then. Okay, so Puck had not left Rachel because of the baby. Half his doubts were erased now. But what about the other half? The one that would like nothing more than to chain Puck's head to the exhaust of his car and drive all the way to New York so that he would kneel on the ground and beg for Rachel's forgiveness.
Sam sighed, running his hand through his blonde hair. "Rachel's pregnant, Puck. With your child."
No, no, no. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to leave, with no traces of him, so that she could move on and there would be nothing holding her back. Because when he was with her in New York, that was all he did. He felt like a complete failure, like his father.
His breathing became heavy and he slid against his truck, ending up in a cross-leg position, Sam immediately beside him.
"This isn't supposed to happen," Puck says and Sam could have sworn his voice was shaking.
"But it did," the blonde shrugged. "Why did you leave, dude?"
"We were fighting too much."
"Bullshit," Sam snorted and Puck closed his eyes, trying so very hard to calm himself down. "Look, dude. If you don't want to tell me, then fine, because I'm not the one you should be explaining yourself to. Just talk to her, please. It's killing her."
"When are you leaving?" Puck asked as he stood up abruptly, and Sam sighed, having expected him to react that way. After all, this was the guy Rachel could not stop talking about. He knew as much about Puck as Rachel did about Quinn.
Xxx Glee xxx
"Sam, where in the world are you and why have you left me with these two lunatics?"
Rachel's whiny tone brought a smile to his face. He chuckled as she grinned at him through the web cam and frowned when Santana hit her on the top of her head.
"Santana!" he admonished, "You can't hit a pregnant lady!"
"Relax, Trouty Mouth. It's not like I'm hitting her stomach."
"When are you coming home?" Quinn squeezed beside Rachel and they watched as Sam's face lit up when he saw his girlfriend.
"By the way Puck is behaving, not so soon, babe."
For the second time that day, Sam cursed his inability to keep things to himself. Silence between them was tensed.
"You're with Noah?"
He smiled apologetically at them. "Yeah, I am."
"And you didn't think to call me to tell me that you've found him?" Rachel asked, her voice rising as she did so, hurt at his actions.
"It doesn't take a genius to find out where he went, Rach," he tried joking but as it was, neither of them got the joke. "Look, Rachel. I'm trying to –"
"Did you just call me stupid?" her voice becoming shrill now and Sam felt like smacking himself for being such an idiot.
"Of course not but –"
"Fuck you, Sam Evans!" her voice shook as tears gathered in her eyes and she ran from the room, Santana close on her trail. Quinn merely raised her eyebrow at him, giving him a 'really?' look.
"You know, I think that's the first time I've heard her curse. Must be the hormones," she shrugged and Sam put his head in his hands, feeling absolutely terrible. "So, I take he knows now?"
"Yeah, I know," a new voice said and Sam whirled around to find himself standing face-to-face with Puck. "Dude, you need to lock your door. Hey, Quinn."
"Noah Puckerman, you are in so much trouble!"
Puck chuckled. "Yeah, well, I need to talk to Sam so if you could just turn off this thing, –"
"Turn it off and I will set Santana on you," Quinn growled and Puck jumped away from the computer as though he had been burned, glaring at Sam when the blonde merely chuckled. Instead, he made a show of muting the sound, unmuting it when Puck turned at the sound of a dog barking.
Puck handed him several envelopes and pieces of paper. "These are for my child. It's a schedule of when I get to keep the kid. That way me and Rachel won't have to deal with each other, just with our kid. The rest are ban statements, money and –"
"Puck, this won't work –"
"I don't want to end up like him, okay, Sam?" he Puck's tone changed from determined to desperate and Sam merely raised his eyes in confusion. "My father was a drunk and abusive bastard, Sam. He spared no one when he was drunk. I almost became him the night before I left."
"Puck, you're nothing like –"
"I was about to hit her that night," he continued and Sam paled. "We were screaming at each other. I can't even remember what we were fighting about," he chuckled humorlessly. "She said something that hit home and the next thing I knew my hands were raised. I was about to hit her, Sam. So, I left the next day. I can't hurt her and my child like he hurt my Mom and me. I won't."
"The difference is that you didn't," Rachel's voice said and both guys turned around to look at the laptop. Rachel's eyes were glazed with tears, a sad smile etched on her face as Quinn wrapped an arm around her while Santana was still glaring daggers at Puck. He took no notice however. His attention was solely on Rachel.
"I might," he said softly and Rachel felt her heart aching for him. "I'm not going to risk it."
With that, he left the room and Sam wished he was in New York, comforting his 'sister' as she sobbed into Quinn's chest.
Xxx Glee xxx
An hour later, after Sam had been assured that Rachel was in safe hands, Rachel grabbed Quinn and Santana by their hands and led them to Santana's car.
"So, why are we near the Machine of Doom, again?" Quinn asked and Santana stuck her tongue out at the blonde. The Machine of Doom was, in fact, rightfully named. After all, it had been through thirteen accidents, two vandalisms (Santana had hunted the scoundrels who dared messed with her car and had almost ripped out their balls if not for Puck and Sam) and fifteen road trips, all of which ended with disaster (Puck had ended up waking beside a pig thrice). Oh, and also because of the way Santana drove it.
"We're going to Lima."
Her statement left no room for discussion and Santana ginned, took the keys and started the car.
"What if he doesn't take you back?" Santana asked the question none of them had been wanting to give a thought to. Rachel stuck up her chin determinedly.
"Then I'll find ways to make him take me back. I'll even make a list of things I'll need to do. I'm not leaving him with a choice."
"Damn, Berry, you're bitchy when you're pregnant," Santana grinned and she purposely drifted to get screams from both girls. "Me likey."
Xxx Glee xxx
He awoke to a petite body beside him, a far cry from the way his mornings had started for the past ten days. A smile lit up his face, as he hugged Rachel closer to him. Ah, he was still dreaming. The alarm hadn't gone off yet. Rachel turned to him, her eyes twinkling with happiness as tears watered her eyes. He brushed them off gently with his thumb and placed his big hand on her cheeks. She leaned into his touch as he lifted her chin, connecting lips to her. He kissed her tenderly, savoring the moment he was having with her, before the kiss turned heavy, both of them craving more of the other. When they finally pulled apart, panting as they did so, Rachel pinched him. Hard.
He jumped at the pain stinging his arm and was about to curse when his eyes widened. This was not a dream. Rachel Berry was in his room, smiling and looking at him as though he was her everything, after making out as though they hadn't been apart for more than a week.
"You're real," he stated and Rachel giggled.
"I should hope so, Noah," she grinned.
He didn't find anything amusing just yet. "You're supposed to be in New York."
She put her hands on her hips and gave him a stern look. "So are you." When he just continued staring at her, silently demanding answers, she rolled her eyes. "Santana and Quinn were with me. We decided to go on a road trip after our web chat last night and this was our first stop."
"Rachel – "
"Wait," she held up her hand and he stopped talking. "Just hear me out, okay? NO interruptions until I'm done. Please. I need to say this."
He nodded and noticed that she was rubbing her stomach as she took a deep breath before speaking, "I love you, Noah Puckerman, but you are such an idiot sometimes. I don't care that your father was a drunk. I don't care that he was abusive. Hell, I don't care about the fact that he left. I care about you and how you and him are two completely different people.
"Ever since we got together, you've shown me each day how much I mean to you. Your father never did that for your mother. He left because he was a bastard who could not face his responsibilities. You've been taking care of your mother and sister since you were eight, Noah. You took a job to ease your mother's financial burden, doted on your sister and never once complained. Your father never had the guts to do what you did."
She stepped closer to him, taking his hands into hers. "You stopped yourself from hitting me that night. Your father never bothered to stop, Noah. He didn't give a damn about who he hurt. You'd never hurt me and our baby. You're not him. I'm sure of that, Noah. Please, just give yourself a little credit and see that for yourself."
"And what if I can't stop myself from hurting you?" he voice shook as he moved a lock of hair from her face and Rachel merely smiled.
"If I'm not worried about that, then why are you?"
He kissed her, and she kissed back, both of them smiling as they wrapped themselves in each other's arms.
Eight months later
The first Puckerman baby yawned, his eyes closed as his mother cradled him in her tired arms, his father hovering over him with his twin sister in his arms. On the left side of the room, his godfather, Sam, and his Uncle Finn were pushing each other, waiting for their turn to hold either one of them. His Aunt Quinn was shaking her head at their antics, demanding that it would be her turn to hold his sister next, seeing as she was her godmother, as she rubbed her own stomach and smiled at her husband. His Aunt Santana entered the room right then with his Aunt Brittany, balloons in her hands and Aunt Brittany's hand in the other.
"So, what did you say the little guy's name was again?" Finn asked as he looked like a giant carrying a doll after Puck handed his daughter to him, smirking at Sam. Sam scowled when Rachel handed her baby boy to his wife.
"We didn't. We haven't decided yet. Although, if Rachel would just agree to –"
"He is not going to be named 'Billy Joe', Noah. Are you trying to get him slusheed?"
"Well, then, Barbara is obviously out of the question for our little girl too."
"Barbara is a very –"
"How about Caroline? Caroline Beth Puckerman."
Rachel opened her mouth to argue but instead closed it. She smiled and nodded approvingly.
"Hmm, not bad, Puckerman," Santana praised as she raised out her arms to Finn, signaling that it was her turn to carry the baby. Finn pouted but handed the baby girl over to her Aunt Santana anyway, not willing to risk angering the Spanish-speaking woman.
"Thanks," Puck beamed and took Rachel's hand into his. "Came up with it while Berry was squeezing my hand till my nerves no longer work."
Rachel swatted her husband. "Samuel."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Rachel, how many times do I have to remind you that it's 'Sam'? I get that you have to call Puck by his first name but –"
"She wasn't calling you, Blondie. She was telling you the name of our son," Puck rolled his eyes and Sam stopped cooing over the baby, his eyes going wide as he gaped at his 'sister' and her husband.
"Samuel Chord Puckerman. Sammy for short," Rachel beamed and laughed when Sam launched himself onto her. He kissed her cheek and wiped his eyes before shaking Puck's hand.
"Wait, Chord?" Puck spat and Rachel shrugged.
"Kid is half Berry, half Puckerman. Music's in his genes. Besides, you named our girl. I named our boy. Full stop."
"Hey, how come Sam gets a child named after him?" Finn whined and it was Sam's turn to smirk smugly at the tall high school football coach.
"Because he got Puckleberry together, gigantor," Santana rolled her eyes.
A knock on the door indicated more visitors and they were right as slowly members of the original glee club, relatives and friends of the couple arrived to share the joy in the happy occasion. At the end of the day, only the glee club members were left and Rachel was smiling profusely, happy to be in the company of the people she had dubbed as her family.
She was about to open her mouth to ask for a cup of water when Puck stood up on her bed, raising his hand to get everyone's attention.
"So, as many of you know, Rachel's the love of my life," he began as he hopped off the bed and stood in front of her, his eyes never leaving her beautiful face. "And well, eight months ago, I did the stupidest thing in my life. I left you, Rachel," he was addressing her now. "And you brought me back. You traveled from New York to Lima in Santana's hellhole she called her car, coming up with a list of things you were going to do if I didn't believe you."
"You never gave up on me. And maybe, that's why I know that when I'm with you, I'll always be the better person," he smiled and got down on one knee, pulling out a small box as many of them gasped and Kurt squealed. "I love you, Rachel Berry. No one will ever love you more than I do. So," he opened the box, and tears streamed down her face as she smiled sweetly at him. "Will you marry me?"
She nodded, too emotional to say anything, and cheers erupted around the room as Puck slipped the ring onto her fingers and kissed her.
"I love you too, Noah. More than anything in the world."
"Yeah, well, not as much as I love you though."
"Don't be silly, Noah. Of course, I lo –"
Santana handed Sammy to Sam as Quinn handed Caroline to Blaine as the girls crowded around the couple who was still arguing. Sam shook his head when Rachel turned away from Puck, crossing her arms across her chest as Puck smirked. Well, Puck obviously won that argument.
"Samuel Chord Puckerman. Your parents are crazy," Sam said, grinning when the baby moved his little head even if his eyes were still closed. "And I don't just mean about each other."
A/N: So, what do you guys think? I am good enough to be a PuckleBerry writer? Please please please tell me what you think!