Hola, peopsles. This one-shot is just for fun, so we're just gonna have fun with it. It's in the form of a script, like for TV and stuffs…. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Steph Meyer owns Twilight.

Narrator: A year after Edward left, Bella was still depressed.

Bella: Oh, whatever will I do?

Edward: [comes up behind Bella] Nothing, bitch!

Bella: EDWARD! You came back for me!

Edward: No, I didn't! I left my hair gel here…. Gosh…..

Bella: Oh, well in that case….. Don't leave me here, to wallow in self pity!

Edward: F*** off! Damn, asshole….

Bella: Oh, I love you too! [bats eyelashes]

Edward: I SAID F*** the S*** off!

Bella: Oh I KNOW I am STILL in love with you!

Edward: Well, that was unexpected. I thought you would have moved on to that bitchy dog, Jacob. [takes out shovel; hits Bella with shovel]

*Bella screams*

Edward: That's better… Peace and quiet. [puts Bella in body bag]

Narrator: Edward threw Bella into the back of his Volvo and sped off towards his home. When he walked in the door, he was greeted by Emmett.

Emmett: Whatcha got there?

Edward: A body bag.

Emmett: What's in it?

Edward: Bella Swan.

*Emmett giggles*

Emmett: Hey guys! Edward killed Bella!

Cullen Family: Yes! [punch fists in the air] Finally!

Carlisle: You finally got rid of that piece of shit!

Alice: Oh, God! I couldn't stand her anymore!

Jasper: Can we drink it now?

Edward: Me first!

Rosalie: No! I want to!

Edward: She was my f***in' girlfriend! Note the quotations around girlfriend! [makes quotation marks with his fingers in air]

*Jasper lunges at bag; tears it open*

Edward: Let's eat!

*Slurping noises; someone knocks on door*

Emmett: What the hell? We were feeding! [gets up and opens door]

Jacob: Filthy bloodsuckers. What are you doing?

Edward: Drinking Bella's blood….

Jacob: Yes! Let's throw her off a cliff!

*assorted cheers*

Narrator: And so they did. Everyone lived happily ever after. Even Charlie and Renee were glad to get their wimp of a daughter out of their lives!

The End.