At The Stillpoint Of Destruction

by Rob Morris

"In the empire of the senses
You're the queen of all you survey
All the cities all the nations
Everything that falls your way..."

My body is ruined. Like that coward Kaede before them, Lucy and Nyu have left. Watching from your perch in Heaven, girls? Lots of luck staying there, Lucy, mistress of a hundred thousand kills. Try telling Heaven it was all Kakuzawa. We know that's bullshit, and so will they. And don't you get too comfortable, Nyu. How many soldiers died when you saw your precious Kouta shot? That wasn't Lucy, then, was it? And oh yeah-ask Nozomi about whether she's the bride of a pair of curious fingers. Heh. If she had enough sense to press charges, or even just tell Yuka, you would have been out soooo fast. Just don't blame it on the devil-because I'm the freaking devil. And I don't kill - I only advise killers.

People might ask - like I care - if I am the true DNA voice of all Diclonius or just the anger these girls felt at a sorry, stupid world. If maybe being the Queen made others feel the voice, even if it was not instinct but pain.

To which I respond : Who cares and screw you.

I remember when I came to poor little weeping Kaede, dying inside after her cutesy puppy bought a rock to the head and Kouta lied about whether his cousin was a girl. Hey, Genius? This is the real world-cousin could have been a boy and still been competition. I mean, you saw none of that in the orphanage? Please. Tomoo kept the girl around as a beard. Everyone knew that. I wish I'd kept him around, though. He knew about the value of pure hate to get the job done. Did I ever tell either of you I modeled our laugh after his? Again, he just knew.

"Every ripple on the ocean
Every leaf on every tree
Every sand dune in the desert
Every power we never see..."

Kaede left, unable to take any more, but I made sure she created Lucy before she went. She didn't use the name, then-but she was Lucy, and Lucy loved to kill. She would have done something other than hunt and peck for the next five years-but then Kouta corrupted her.

I made Lucy too logical. She had to kill Kouta's family for vengeance upon his callousness towards Kaede. But Lucy heard in his voice, as he whined for her to stop - he hadn't done it deliberately -he was probably dancing around the thin-ice minefield that whiner Kaede could be when he lied. It didn't matter to me - he should have died next, or been wounded enough to regret being born - rooster to hen, Kouta? That's one way to make sure you don't hurt any more girls. But it mattered to Lucy. Again, cold logic - he hadn't been a supreme asshole like the ground orphan stew we made - he hadn't meant to cause harm. I laughed at Lucy so hard then - what did it matter if they all weren't like Tomoo and that little traitor bitch? They all could be. Hadn't your saintly boyfriend made sure his last words to his little sister were about hating her?

But logic is a hard thing to fight. So what should have been Lucy's Crusade became Lucy's Stealth Kingdom Come. What should have been bloody crowds mowed down and harsh weapons turned back on soldiers until they gave in and called their Yank masters for nukes became a rise in heart attacks and strokes, and the odd horned birth. My advice could keep her killing per se, but I could never get her truly reckless. She had to live, live and see her Kouta again, so she could apologize. Yea-h. Sorry we split little sis in two, and capped Daddy off for shits and giggles. It was our time of the month, ya know? Say it just that way, girl. Even Yuka would offer her blessing for something that sincere. Sincere like Linus's Pumpkin Patch. Only he'll see the Great Pumpkin before Kouta forgives you, Lucy.

My great creation had become a great wimp. Even as we escaped, she actually bothered to think about the little nothing who fell into our path. Tried to justify it. Said she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and had the wrong boss. Like you have to justify stepping on an ant or burning it with a magnifying glass. I roared that she better just break the island apart as she left, and she countered about all of our kind still on there. Screw them, I said. It's like chips-crunch all you want-we'll just make more. I told her she better not go back to Kouta, unless to kill him.

She saw the shot coming, and let it hit. IDIOT! That shell could have taken our head off! Then, she pushed me aside, took the pain, and the confusion and made Nyu, the kawaii rapist. Now there was an active counter to my advice. Picture your life as an extended play of 'We Can Work It Out' by The Beatles. I couldn't get rid of Nyu because I hadn't made her. Lucy knew I couldn't get rid of her. Seems like we had a fair standoff. But I am the devil, and devils do not play fair. See, in any kind of attack, Nyu ran off scared. But I stuck around.

"All the bloodshed, all the anger
All the weapons, all the greed
All the armies, all the missiles
All the symbols of our fear..."

Now, Bando deserved every last thing he got, so let's not whine there. But was there an absolute pressing need to take all of Nana's limbs? Did we need to cut off Mariko's legs, when she was dead already in two minutes? That one did cost us, but in both cases-HELL YEAH! I quickly learned - attack Lucy and Nyu shuts up and the blood flows - the blood in and out of my veins. But she was still avoiding conflict, and Mayu doesn't count. Yes, she was going to do it, but this was so Kouta wouldn't learn how Nana got her new limbs. Nyu surprised me when the thugs knocked their little door down, but Lucy was back out pretty soon. I even got my own licks in. I heh-heh 'disarmed' Doctor Kurama. And wow, was that one soldier really monologue-ing on me? How 'Incredibles' can you get?

But now, ruin or not, this body's all my show, and loving Kouta gets to keep his promise to kill his non-Human bitch. Poor baby - he never got to find out if Kanae was in mind for a real-life hentai piece. So you fire that gun, Kouta. Bastard. When you do, I push that bullet into Yuka's skull. While you're all screaming, I rip Nana's face off before she can disable me again. Mayu? Little girl, you'll wish for your step-daddy when I'm through with you. Yeah, I knew-watch what you tell Nyu when you think she can't understand. Nozomi, I'll leave you be - what can I take that Nyu's fingers and the soldiers' choke-hold didn't already?Oh-and I'm really really anxious to show that I CAN hurt a dog.

Kouta- I will make you watch as I destroy the world. I will protect you and keep you alive as long as I am, and I have plans to be floating in an asteroid field if need be. So fire your gun, bastard. It's taking all I have to be ready for when you-drop the gun?

He's crying. He's telling one he loves her, the other that he wants to forgive her. He knows they're gone. Knows that I'm the only one left in this body. So why doesn't he just do it? He'll pick it up again. These are just emotional and hormonal burps. Kouta likes naked girls who grope him, and who let him grope them. That's all it is.

No. It's more than that.

He loves her. Loves them. Loves them so much, he refuses to kill even me.

Love, it seems, is more than hormones plus day to day companionship.

Love, it seems, is real.

"Feel it rising in the cities
Feel it sweeping over land
Over borders, over frontiers
Nothing will its power withstand..."

Love is real, and so now is my pain. I never killed as myself before, because living is pain. I could barely take breathing when I was whole. Now that each breath is transcendent agony, I want to die, and there is only one I know who will do it. I raise the gun up to Kouta's hands and whisper 'Please' as each synapse explodes and dies ahead of me, and how I envy them. Kouta raises the gun, not out of vengeance or hate or genetic survival-but to spare the one he loves more agony.

So, love, this thing called love, is well and truly real.

Kouta's love is real.

Love Is Real.

If my existence is predicated on hate and the thought that love is not real, and yet love is real...

Love Is Real.

Then I Cannot Possibly Exist After He Kills Me.

For Which I Thank God.

And Then Kouta Killed Me, Out Of Love.

For Love Is Real, And Therefore I Must Now Cease To B...

"At the still point of destruction
At the centre of the fury
All the angels, all the devils
All around us can't you see..."

Lyrics taken from Sting, now presented in their entirety :

"Love Is The Seventh Wave"

In the empire of the senses
You're the queen of all you survey
All the cities all the nations
Everything that falls your way
There is a deeper wave than this
That you don't understand
There is a deeper wave than this
Tugging at your hand

Every ripple on the ocean
Every leaf on every tree
Every sand dune in the desert
Every power we never see
There is a deeper wave than this
Swelling in the world
There is a deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

Feel it rising in the cities
Feel it sweeping over land
Over borders, over frontiers
Nothing will its power withstand
There is no deeper wave than this
Rising in the world
There is no deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

All the bloodshed, all the anger
All the weapons, all the greed
All the armies, all the missiles
All the symbols of our fear
There is a deeper wave than this
Rising in the world
There is a deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

At the still point of destruction
At the centre of the fury
All the angels, all the devils
All around us can't you see
There is a deeper wave than this
Rising in the land
There is a deeper wave than this
Nothing will withstand

I say love is the seventh wave