"He's here," The whisper has fallen from his lips. He was in state of delirious joy - something the Master said was right, and the Master was here, swinging him up like the child he was. (not)
He presses his face into his lord's chest, inhaling the smell of chemicals. He lifts his face to gaze through the window. The windowpane is cracking, maybe they should get a new one?
(He cannot ever remember leaving the house. It is his sweet, safe, wonderland.)
"Master," He said - but it doesn't feel right - no, it was, had to be, - and he pointed out past the spiraling red flowers, his finger up against the window. "The glass is breaking."
His master quiets him, and leads him away - but he looks back. He frowns.
The glass castle had once been blurry, but now it was sharp and menacing. (ah, it was so tempting)
It was raining, the water dripping down on their small house. God's tears.
"Sasuke," The master, his lovely lord, said, "It's fine. Everything is fine if you will just walk with me. Come on now." Sasuke feels the Master does not understand, but he has spoken those magic words, and he imagines his feet touching the soft ground.
He is on the golden path now, but he's falling backwards, for there is a pain. A gnat, a gnat - what can bother him when the Master is here? (Besides the Master)
There is an awful, aching throbbing and he watches the leaves blow by. He tries to ignore the flame of pain licking at his legs, and Sasuke lets himself curl up on the ground, feel safe, resting his head in a pile of weathered leaves. Red, yellow, tangerine and a crowd of dancing girls. They smile with yellow eyes and long hair. He averts his eyes, and lets dark sleep take him.
There was an angel holding his hand out to him. Uzumaki Naruto was his name. "Fishcake? Whirpool?" Sasuke cannot hold back his laughter. Naruto scowls, "Don't laugh."
But then Naruto has a change of heart, and his hand is touching Sasuke's. "Sasuke..."
But Sasuke doesn't like the way Naruto caresses his name, so he pretends it is the leaves blowing in the autumn wind.
He learns soon enough. Naruto lives inside the glass castle, and Sasuke expresses worry it will collapse on him. "Why do you stay there? It's not safe." He imagines the shards pinning his angel down; cold black blood on the floor...
"It gives me a sense of mundane normality," Naruto says, and Sasuke laughs because he finds the words so funny, and because he does not know what it means. Funny Naruto with his black clothes and blue eyes and golden pins. Funny Naruto who will not stop looking through the windows.
His master lurks inside, somewhere.
He spends his time staring out the window these days. Master has worried and prodded and poked, and Naruto's lovely house is going to shatter.
Naruto is here again, and Master is poking Sasuke with brittle fingers, whispering with breath that is not honey sweet anymore.
"Sasuke, do you want to come stay with me?" Naruto says one day, and Sasuke is busy plucking at his shirt because he doesn't want to see. (Those beautiful blue eyes. He is radiant, Naruto.)
"There's no room for you in my world," Sasuke says, his voice cracking. But his lovely lord will be happy now. "I can't love you." But he does, he does, and the flowers quiver outside, and Naruto's castle is still breaking.
"I don't want your love," Naruto says. "I just want you to know you have mine." He kisses Sasuke's hand, like a prince, and leaves.
The door swings for a while.
Sasuke decides that the left corner is perfect for wallowing in his tears... He is not crying. No. (The Master hates tears)
The Master has his arms around a pale, slender boy. He has dark spiky hair and ruby lips, and Sasuke looks at him from some corner. He cannot feel envy for the boy - or anything. To lay with the Master is not a reward, because he has done it before, and the boy has a blank look to his face.
As if he is lost in a wonderland.
I should go, Sasuke debates. I shouldn't. But the Master is asleep, so he will go.
The gate is rusted and blotchy. Sasuke lets his fingers graze it, and calls softly for Naruto. Up close, the castle is not a castle, merely a gray little thing.
There he is, his angel. Naruto's face clouds with shock and fear. "S-Sasuke! What are you doing here? Ah, come in, come in.." His grip is rough, unsettling. (what is there to fear?)
He does not see the Master for days. Weeks. A month.
He does not see the flowers, the girls, the butterflies.
He does not see himself. In the mirror, there is that distant boy with the ruby lips.
"You destroyed it. My wonderland," Sasuke says accusingly.
Naruto takes him into his arms. His words sound slightly impatient. "I saved you, Sasuke. Don't you remember?"
Sasuke slides to the floor, and sobs.