Hi there! The beginning of this story originally consisted of the three chapters of another author's story that was discontinued and that I was given the opportunity to continue. At some point though, even after doing some alterations, I decided to delete those three chapters and write a brand new first chapter of my own. After all, the first chapter of a story is the selling point! And this is it. Hope you like it.
Warning: This story contains mentions of rape and child abuse. I try to be as sensitive about it as possible, but if you are triggered by things like that, do not read this. There's also straight up violence and some gore-ish stuff in later chapters, so be warned.
Edit (06/12/15): I'm currently going through all chapters, beginning to end, and editing mistakes and rewriting things. If you run into anything that doesn't make sense, anything that doesn't match up with previous chapters, don't be surprised. That's just me fixing things and everything will make sense again once I'm done.
I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. Both belongs to Kishimoto Masashi.
– Rewrite –
– Day and Night –
Another day, another start.
The sun rose every day, woke Naruto up every day; rung in another day of torture each day.
He would roll around in his thin sheets for a while, trying to push what was ahead to the back of his mind. Even after a night's sleep he would feel dead-tired, and not because of a lack of sleep. Whenever he looked into mirrors, all he would see were empty eyes staring back at him, his skin pasty and unhealthy looking. The rest of his early morning would pass by in a blur, the teen waiting for what was to come; if it was coming at all. Once he was done putting on clothes, he would peek out of his own door onto the hallway. If he didn't see or hear anyone, he would quietly sneak down the stairs into the kitchen. Hastily gathering his things and grabbing something quick to eat, he would try to get out before he would wake up. Sometimes he got out in time.
Sometimes he didn't.
This was such a day.
Just as he was about to take a bite of his poisonous green apple, a hand brushed over his tailbone and up his back. A jolt so powerful it knocked the apple out of his hand ran through his body, the teen standing as still as a statue now.
"Good morning," a deep sultry voice hushed into his ear.
Clenching his fists, Naruto tried not to shiver in the man's hold. Two hands now wrapped around his arms and turned him around, forcing him to look into those green eyes giving him a look no father should give his son. "M-Morning, dad," he forced out before receiving a peck on the lips. He tried to look anywhere but those eyes staring him down. The fingers now running over his face with a feather-like touch didn't make it any easier.
"Those bruises on your jaw look horrible," the man uttered in a worried tone. "I guess you can't go to school like that, huh?"
The chuckles his father released drilled into Naruto's ears like spears. "I guess not," he choked out, lowering his head knowing what was to come.
"Why don't you go back to your room? I'll come after I finish up some things, okay?"
Nodding silently, Naruto gladly left the kitchen and rushed into his room. He knew that this sense of safety he gained now would only be short-lived, but deep down he still hoped that today he wouldn't be torn apart.
Hearing the heavy steps coming up the stairs though, he knew there was no use to his wishful thinking.
Naruto tried not to whimper too much with the heavy body on top of him. He tensed up once again when wet hot breath fanned over his neck. The tiniest movement of the man still inside him caused a sting of pain and all the blond could do was press his lips together and tug at the sheets beneath his fingers, waiting until his father finally left.
Grunting one last time, the man finally got up. His departure was accompanied by a wet noise as he separated from the teen. Once he had pulled his pants back up, he scratched the back of his neck as he yawned, then simply left without a word.
Sighing in relief, Naruto carefully pulled his legs together and just stayed still for a while, waiting for the pain to subside. Reaching towards the little cupboard to his right, he pulled open a drawer and barely got the bottle of pills out without moving the rest of his body. He popped in two of the white pills dry, then just let the bottle drop to the floor. Fortunately, his father was usually too out of it to even notice when an entire bottle of his pills were missing.
Many times before, whenever he snuck into his father's room to steal pills, Naruto had contemplated just taking the sleeping pills and downing the entire bottle. Just end it all. Each time though, he was too scared. Even after everything that his father did, even after treating him like his personal whore, Naruto still feared death more. Just thinking about it sparked a deep-rooted anxiety in him that he couldn't quite handle. He didn't believe in any god, nor did he believe that he would go anywhere once he died. To him, having that kind of mindset meant he would just disappear completely. His mind would just be whisked away like a blown out candle, just like that. He would be completely gone. And that terrified him.
Once enough time had passed for the painkillers to kick in, Naruto slowly sat up and began to massage the insides of his thighs. The worst thing wasn't even any back pain. He had gotten accustomed to that long ago. The worst was when his father, on a sudden whim, wanted to see his face while doing him. In times like that he would force him to bend his legs in a way he wasn't accustomed to and for such a long time that they were numb by the time he was done. Naruto would have to do that awkward crab walk again for the next few days.
He picked up his scattered pieces of clothing from the floor and dressed, staring out of the window all the while. There was a crack in the glass, running over the surface like a lightning bolt. As far as he remembered, it had been there since the day he had been fucked against it.
As soon as the painkillers had taken their full effect, he decided to take a walk. His father would be too tired to even notice him leave for a while. He quietly pushed his window open and swiftly climbed out, although he grimaced when he jumped out and a jolt of pain ran through his body. Looking out for people passing by, he sneaked towards the street and only slowed down when he was a safe distance away from his house.
After some aimless walking around, Naruto ended close to the graveyard and decided to visit his mother. The tall metal gate was as noisy as ever as it swung open and just like in any horror movie, there was a sheen of mist above the ground. The sky was a monotonous shade of grey, making this visit even more depressing than it actually was. Naruto had never actually met his mother after all. He mainly visited her out of a sense of duty, since she was the woman who had given birth to him. And whenever he felt down, he would come and confide in her, even if she couldn't quite help him. Just talking to her gave Naruto a tiny bit of relief.
It didn't take long for the blond to arrive at his mother's grave. And like each time, he felt his chest tighten seeing the state it was in. There were no flowers, the ground above her remains covered in weeds instead, moss and decay gnawing at her gravestone. No one beside Naruto seemed to care about her.
"I'm sorry I couldn't bring you any flowers again," Naruto mumbled with a sad smile, sitting down in front of the grave. "I'll try to bring you some next time." He always said that, but never actually had the money to buy even a single flower. Finding any nice flowers anywhere in a city besides the flower shop was an impossible thing and it wasn't like he could just go into people's gardens and take any. "I feel bad for not being able to repay you for… you know…" Frustrated with himself and the way he couldn't even talk openly to a grave, the blond began to rip out small pieces of grass from the ground. Immersed in destroying the bit of green that adorned the area around his mother's grave, Naruto blankly stared at the ground. "I still don't get how you could have been with a guy like dad. I think you're so much better, mom." Of course Naruto didn't know for sure if his mother had been a good person, but his gut feeling told him so and he always trusted his gut feeling. "I should just tell someone, shouldn't I? Just call the police and sick them on him. But I'm scared, mom. What will others think of me? What if no one believes me? I mean, it's my fault too that all this happened! I should've done something the first time it happened, but… I… allowed it. I should've stopped it. It's my fault for letting this happen. So I can't ever tell someone."
Just when he noticed that he was about to cry again, Naruto suddenly shot up and left, mumbling a small Goodbye as he rushed away. He didn't want to cry in front of anyone.
His aching heart was only just calming down as Naruto left the graveyard, hands in his pockets, when a familiar voice suddenly startled him.
Spinning around, the blond found his best friend of many years just a few steps away from him. "Sakura-chan," he mumbled unenthusiastically, calming down quickly. He didn't even acknowledge the worried edge to her voice. "Did I miss anything at school?" The blond tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, but knew that Sakura wouldn't have any of it.
And have it she really didn't. "Are you ill? How are you?"
Naruto just so suppressed a sigh, somewhat annoyed by Sakura's doting. "I felt sick this morning. But I'm better now."
"So tomorrow you'll come to school?"
That depended on what his father would be like tomorrow. Naruto merely shrugged, not even locking eyes with the girl. "Not sure." He could hear the girl sigh and knew she was staring at him with those mint green eyes of hers.
"What is going on with you?" she murmured quietly, but the other still heard.
"It's none of your business," Naruto barked in response, glaring at the girl with narrowed eyes.
Sakura flinched, looking as though he had just slapped her across the face. "I'm worried about you!"
"Well, there's no reason to be, so just leave me alone!"
Pain and anger flashed across the girl's face, her trembling bottom lip betraying the enraged look in her eyes. "You've changed." Her head dropped, eyes trained to the ground.
"People change, Sakura-chan," Naruto dead-panned as he turned to leave. "It's part of life." He quickly left her standing there, not even looking her in the face once. Even without seeing her face, he knew that she would be going home crying again because of him.
I'm such an asshole.
Another day, another start.
Again, Naruto woke up to bright light stabbing his eyes and forcing him to get out of bed. Again, he rushed to put on his clothes and get ready to leave. Even though his legs were killing him and the muscles felt like they would melt off his bones any moment, the blond shoved a piece of toast into his mouth and left in a rush. He heard steps on the floor above him, which sent his heart racing. Only when he was out the door and actually walking along the street, he finally heaved a sigh of relief. It was the first time this week that he had actually gotten out unscathed and it was Thursday already. By now, his teachers didn't even ask what was going on anymore. They simply assumed he was sick whenever he was absent.
Konoha High School was quite a walk away and it took him at least twenty minutes to get there, even when he walked quickly. But since he left his house as early as possible, he usually arrived way too soon. Today was the same.
As always, Rock Lee, his senior by one year, was waiting at the gate and doing his self-appointed duty: guarding the gate. Even though he usually was a nice fellow, when it came to rules, he was as strict as can be. If anyone arrived even a second too late, he would close the gate on them and they would have to wait until the next period.
"Good morning, Naruto-kun!" the bowl-haired teen greeted the blond enthusiastically.
Before the other could go on about Naruto joining him in some crazy exercise again, the blond cut him off. "Fuck off, Lee," he grumbled and immediately regretted it seeing the older teen's smile turn a little sour. It took a lot to upset Rock Lee, but Naruto managed to do so every single day. Naruto quickly forgot about Lee though when he entered the school building and spotted a familiar pink shock of hair in the corridor ahead.
As if sensing his eyes on her, Sakura turned and locked eyes with the blond, pressing her lips together as she found the usual hostile look in his face. Eyes downcast, she turned back around to her locker, took out what she needed and left.
She'll calm down.
School was a drag, but it distracted Naruto for a while. He would rather stay in school for six hours and listen to adults going on and on about their respective subjects than stay at home and simply wait until he would be completely broken.
When his last period ended, Naruto remembered that his father would be staying at work longer than usual, meaning he had some free time to spare. It both delighted and depressed him. On one hand, he had some more time until he had to go home, but on the other he didn't exactly have anything to spend that free time on. So whenever he did have time, he simply went to the same place.
Ayame's Café had been his favourite place to retreat to for as long as he could remember. Only regulars ever came and barely any teens showed up, which made it a nice place to relax. He never had the money to buy himself a proper meal, but it was still nice to just sit and take a break.
"Oh, Naruto! Hi!" A brunette with warm eyes and a just as warm smile approached the teen with the standard waiter's notepad in her hand. "What do you want?"
"Um…" Naruto awkwardly glanced down at his table. "I don't think I'll get anything today, Ayame-chan."
The girl, although being slightly older, pouted in an upset way and crossed her arms. "Naruto-kun! This is the third time already! You know you can't stay here unless you buy anything."
"I'm sorry, Ayame-chan." The blond smiled apologetically, hunching his shoulders. "I'm kind of broke right now. I promise I'll buy something next time." He knew giving the girl his puppy eyes would easily soothe her.
Ayame's features immediately softened, her protective instinct kicking in. "It's fine," she sighed, only to quickly break out into another bright smile. "Just don't loiter around for too long. People will get mad at me for treating you differently. You know exactly that I can't resist that face of yours." She left to the next table still smiling, which somewhat lifted Naruto's mood. Her smiling face, the warm atmosphere of the café, no one harassing him just for the hell of it. It all served to brighten his mood.
It was nice just being able to sit without people walking up to him and insulting him or yelling curses after him when he walked down the street. Why people did this he didn't know. He couldn't understood people just beating him up for no reason either. Ever since he had been little, people seemed to just hate him. Neighbours would glare at him, whisper about him behind his back thinking he didn't notice. Shopkeepers would give him that disgusted look, sometimes even refuse to sell anything to him. In school people always picked him as their punching bag, even some teachers picked on him especially. Everyone just loved to hate him.
A sudden clanking sound on his table interrupted his thoughts, Ayame's smiling face looking at him once again. Before him suddenly stood a steaming hot cup of coffee that simply looked delectable as hell. "I-I didn't order anything though," he stammered out nervously.
"It's from that good-looking guy back there," the girl hushed excitedly, pointing to somewhere behind the blond.
Frowning confusedly, Naruto turned around to spot a raven-haired teen staring at him with steely black eyes. His pale skin glowed even in the semi-darkness of the corner he was sitting in, his shiny hair framing his sharp jawline. Naruto stopped breathing for a second, not used to someone staring at him in that way. He couldn't quite classify this person's intent.
"He came in, sat down and just started staring at you from the back." Ayame seemed delighted. She seemed way too happy about this creepy guy coming in and staring at one of her guests.
"O-Okay," Naruto mumbled quietly, mustering up a little smile so that Ayame didn't notice his discomfort, to which she simply smiled back and left. Frankly, this guy both fascinated and intimidated the blond. He gave him a strange feeling, as though their eyes hadn't met for the first time. Noticing that he was staring, Naruto quickly turned back around, frantically thinking about what to do with this cup of coffee in front of him. He honestly just wanted it to be gone, but it seemed to call to him with its heavenly caramel scent and absolutely gorgeous fluffy foam. He couldn't resist and before he knew it, he was sipping at it, moaning when the hot liquid flowed over his tongue and spread its delicious aroma all over his mouth. When he put the cup back down it was already half empty.
"Looks like you're enjoying the coffee I picked."
The deep velvety voice that suddenly sounded next to him caused Naruto to tense up just when he was about to take another sip. His eyes remained downcast as he listened to the noise of the chair in front of him being pulled back and someone sitting down. When he put the cup back down, he saw pale arms moving onto the tabletop. As his eyes wandered up, he could see that indifferent face propped up on one hand staring at him, a tiny hint of a smirk playing along the other's lips.
"You seem less obnoxious these days."
What did this guy want from him? He sounded… rude. What a bastard. Naruto simply remained silent, glaring at the other suspiciously.
"I would have expected you of all people to immediately jump me."
The fuck? Does he think he's so fucking attractive that everyone wants to jump his bones? What an asshole!
Confusion mingled into that slight smirk on the other's face. He tilted his head as he very closely eyed the blond's face. His lips parted, the teen seeming to want to say something, but he suddenly stopped and pulled back a little. The grim expression lining his features intensifying, he pulled a phone from his pocket and lifted it to his ear. "What?" Was that the way he usually greeted people? "Why?"
Naruto, while the other was occupied, drank the rest of his coffee and simply watched the other. Usually, he would have just gotten up and left, but that was way too rude to someone who had just provided him with such a heavenly beverage.
"I understand," the raven-haired teen murmured. "I'll be there." When the teen ended the call, even the way his slender fingers brushed over the phone looked elegant. The legs of his chair quietly scraped against the floor as he got up to leave. Walking away, he simply nodded at the blond with his hands in his pockets, Naruto following him with his eyes.
The hell was that about? Naruto shrugged, downing the leftover foam in his cup and sighing in content as he put it down. He had never before seen such an intriguing yet annoying person. He was rude, arrogant and inconsiderate. Well, not inconsiderate. He had given Naruto a coffee and that was a plus in the blond's book. On the other hand, he was so mysterious and casual at the same time, it irked Naruto how such a person could exist.
Shaking his head, Naruto willed himself to stop thinking about the teen and got up to leave as well. After briefly waving Ayame goodbye, he headed towards the door. He was about to grab the door handle, but stopped short when he stepped onto something hard and thin. Stepping back, he found a rectangular piece of plastic on the ground. When he picked it up, he noticed his school's name on the back and, flipping it over, found the picture of someone quite familiar on the right.
"Uchiha Sasuke, huh?" Looked like he went to Konoha High. Must have been a new student. Naruto would have noticed a bastard like him before. Contemplating just giving it to Ayame so that asshole could get it himself, Naruto sighed and in the end put it into his own pocket.
The blond glanced at his watch and noticed that he had half an hour left to get back home in time. Looking up at the sky, Naruto sighed again seeing the grey clouds getting darker. It would be raining soon.
And so, his day ended. Night would soon shroud the city in darkness.
I'm so happy that I took out the older chapters. They just really didn't fit my later chapters and definitely turned some people off. Should have done this a lot sooner.
Edit (06/21/15): Just to clear something up (because I've been asked this a few times throughout writing this story the past few years), I have never been raped or abused in my entire life. I do try to be as realistic about it as possible though when I include things like that in my stories, so I've spent hours researching what victims of abuse go through emotionally and psychologically. Although it wasn't my intention, I've been told that this story has helped people cope with their own abuse, which makes me happy that I started writing this story in the first place.
Although I'm neither a therapist or a victim, I do know that if you've experienced being raped, you've probably heard the standard advice: don't wash your clothes, go to the police, see a therapist, etc. That seems easy to do, but I'm aware that not everyone has it in them to share that kind of experience with anyone, even if it's the police or a therapist. That's completely normal and you shouldn't feel bad about it.
There are lots of other things people advise you to do and I'm probably not the right person to give you any more advice, but I do think it's important to cut out people from your life who make you feel worse about yourself. People who make you feel bad about the way you handle yourself, your body or sex are not worth your time and shouldn't be part of your life. Find someone who goes through the effort to make you feel better. Anyone who can't even do that much isn't worth even a second of your precious time.