Pairing: Shizuo/Izaya

Prompt: Help/Advice from Oprah and Dr. Phil.


Shingen was contemplating the overpass and wondering if he should adjust the filter of his mask to purify the heavily polluted air. He was about to ask Shinra about it when a vending machine came hurling through the air and landed far too close for comfort.
"Izaya-KUN!"
Shizuo barged into the scene, wielding what seemed to be a traffic sign and swinging it a wide arc so that it knocked down a small crowd and still managed not to as much as scratch the target, i.e., a very cocky Orihara Izaya.
"My, Shizu-chan. I really can't talk with you when you're like this."
"I told you, once, twice, a million fucking TIMES to stay away from 'bukuro!"
"Ah yes, I seem to remember something to that effect. But what can I say, this city loves me too much for me to stay away."
Shizuo growled something in lieu of words and dashed blindly ahead. Izaya waited until the very last moment to twirl away and thus allow Shizuo to crash into a concrete wall. Izaya stood on the pavement laughing in that borderline psychotic way of his. But he was in for a rude awakening when someone pulled him by an ear. Hard enough to hurt.
"Young man, you are bringing shame to your parents by acting like a goon."
Izaya turned around and was ready to produce his switchblade when he recognized the gas mask.
"Hello, if it isn't Kishitani senior. And Shinra, too."
"Can't you just avoid Shizuo? How long have you two been fighting like cats and dogs for? It's been years."
Shizuo pulled himself from the pile of rubble and bounced to his feet, spinning around to find the bane of his existence.
"IZAYA!"
"Shinra, do you know these two?"
Shinra sighed and adjusted his glasses.
"Unfortunately."
Shizuo spotted them.
"You flea, using Shinra as a shield?"
Shingen crossed his arms and stepped between the two sworn antagonists.
"And you too, acting like a ruffian. Don't you have any shame?"
"What's on your face?"
Izaya cackled in the background.
"Shizu-chan doesn't know what a gas mask is. It figures he wouldn't, his brain has yet to evolve into human standards. Keep working at it."
"You young people need an intervention. And I know just the person to do it."
Shizuo was a tad puzzled.
"Shinra, who's this fellow?"
"That's my father."
Shizuo muttered something to the effect of his being sorry but of course Shingen was on a roll now and not inclined to listen.
"Young people nowadays lack proper respect for their elders and for common property. It is a great problem with Japan but it just so happens that I am on good terms with doctor Phil and I can get you a slot on his show. I believe that-"
Izaya bounced forward.
"Kishitani-san, if you're paying for the trip then you can count me in. I'd absolutely love to visit the States."
Shizuo flailed, causing the sign post to go clattering against the pavement where it left marks.
"Eh? I'm not going to no America with the louse!"
"Young man, you are going, like it or not. If you're my son's friends then I have the responsibility to educate you since your own parents clearly did not do a proper job. No wonder Japan is going down the drain with hoodlums such as yourselves running around causing trouble for everyone."
Shinra intervened with a bright smile.
"Orihara-kun, Shizuo, just think of it as a holiday. Everyone needs a change of scenery every now and then, right? And when was the last time you actually left Tokyo?"
Shizuo scratched his hair and Shingen was reminded anew of the weird fashions that were en vogue with the younger generations. Completely missing the fact that a gas mask was quite a fashion statement.
"It was that time we went on a school trip."
"See, a long time ago. So I say you just go to America and enjoy yourself to the fullest."
Shizuo frowned. Unpleasant memories were creeping in.
"Ages ago but I still remember that the louse there ruined everything. Like he always does."
"I had a lot of fun that time. I remember it as if it was yesterday."
Shinra could tell that this tentative truce was about to crumble away and so he nodded affably, being at his most friendly.
"That was the past. Shizuo, you should really go. What do you have to lose? If it goes bad you can always kill Orihara-kun later."
"Hmm...true."
"Shinra, that hurts. It really does. I thought that we were friends."