Deidara had taken the whole flight back to think about what he should say to Sasori. He'd told Pein and the others that he'd only found the car, nothing else. But for some reason, it felt wrong lying to Sasori. How would he react, if he knew the truth, though?
The thoughts and doubts kept torturing Deidara, leaving him restless. It didn't help that he spent the whole flight leaning against the redhead, pretending to be asleep.
It was only when the door of their house had closed behind him that Deidara made up his mind. He knew the truth about Sasori; it was time for him to be honest as well.
"Sasori," he started quietly, setting down his bag. The redhead didn't turn towards him, being busy unpacking and shoving things from his bag to the closet, but Deidara knew he was listening. "There was more that I found than only the car. I found our target. It was Gaara. I let him escape."
"I know," Sasori answered simply, taking off his cloak and hanging it in the wardrobe.
This surprised Deidara, his eyes widened, but he didn't inquire, only cast his look down shyly. "I'm sorry. I was weak. I wasn't able to…"
Sasori nodded, still not looking at him. "I know." That was all he said, the room fell into silence after that.
Deidara gripped his own hand, his nails digging into the skin. He'd known before that he'd be given the cold shoulder, but it still hurt. More than he'd expected. He felt like pac-man was eating up his heart from the inside, the parts gone missing leaving him searching for support that he didn't find.
Gripping his arm tighter, he slowly turned around and paced towards the door.
Sasori looked up from his bag with the stoic expression that was the usual for him. "Where are you going, brat?"
"To Pein. I'm going to tell him that I quit." Deidara's voice was quiet and lifeless as he muttered the words.
Sasori shot up from his spot, grabbing Deidara's hand and swinging him around. "What?" he demanded. "What for?"
He'd started to change clothes, but hadn't gotten the chance to find a new shirt yet, thus he was standing there dressed in a pair of jeans, naked above the waistline.
Deidara's eyes accidentally fell on his bare chest, blush tinting his cheeks red immediately as he averted his eyes to look away. His throat had clomped shut, and as ridiculous as it seemed, he felt his eyes tear up. Swallowing once, he said, trying to keep his voice even, "I messed up. I couldn't stop him from-, I mean, I didn't even try to stop him from escaping. I'm a failure. Without me, he'd be in jail, waiting for the bullet."
A tear fell from his eye as he spoke, but he didn't find the will to wipe it away. Instead, he looked up into Sasori's eyes that were wide with fright and anger at the same time.
"You wanted to know the truth about Gaara. I will tell you the truth – he and I grew up together. He was practically like a brother to me. But he'd always been the one to go for fame – he was the most popular kid in school during middle school."
Deidara gave a humorless snort at the memory. "Yeah, however, rumors had it that he hung out with drug dealers and guys like that. I was one of the few ones who knew the reason he never got beaten up in fights – he had a gift. He had the ability to manipulate with the sand in any way he willed. Everything from forming barricades to figures that could be mistaken for humans – everything! I even shot one of his figures yesterday…
"Knowing his secret led me to think that I knew everything about him, but my parents weren't fooled and didn't want me near him. We moved to another city. That was the last time I saw him, before here in camp." A small sad smile crept across Deidara's lips, but it died soon. "I couldn't kill him, even though he lied to me."
Sasori had been quiet the whole time, staring at Deidara blankly. He wasn't sure how to respond. For some reason, he actually felt relief. That's all there had been to this Gaara. He almost snorted, but managed to hold himself back for his own sake. He could only imagine the blond's reaction had he started to laugh. His whole body would have been covered with bruises in less than a minute.
Wordlessly, he pulled Deidara against his chest, slowly caressing his back. Deidara let out a quiet sob, burying his face in Sasori's neck.
"You don't have to go anywhere, brat-, I mean, Deidara. It won't happen again; I'll kill that fucker for you the next time. No one has to know about what happened this time, I can keep a secret."
Deidara's eyes went wide as he looked up, finding Sasori smiling. A little sadistically, yes, but he was smiling. It was hard to imagine a more beautiful sight. Deidara's mouth fell open in awe that Sasori misunderstood.
"Yes, I can be nice," he said with a quiet laugh. "Get used to it."
Deidara wanted to talk and explain that that was not what he'd been surprised about, but didn't get the chance, when Sasori pressed their lips together. It startled the blond and he didn't move, finding it hard to breathe. Hurriedly, millions of thoughts flew through his head, telling him that it was now or never. He had to make up his mind now.
He knew that, if he had had the time to think about it with a clear mind, he would have remembered his reasoning for not saying yes sooner. But at the moment, that was not an option. Deciding to screw it all, he threw his hands around Sasori's neck, kissing him back eagerly.
Sasori wanted to laugh out of joy; his head was reeling and legs felt weak. Finally an affirmative response! He lifted Deidara off the ground, spinning them around the room. Deidara pulled away, giggling.
Sasori put him back on the floor, looking at him with an indescribable desire dancing in his eyes. Deidara stopped giggling, staring back with an uncertain expression. He felt the heat rushing up to his cheeks, painting them red as Sasori parted his lips slowly.
"Deidara…" he whispered, cocking his head to one side and cupping the blond's cheek. Deidara closed his eyes, feeling Sasori's lips brush against his. The redhead's tongue entered his mouth, tracing along his teeth and mingling with his tongue.
When he pulled away, there was a trace of salvia connecting their mouths. Dancing brown eyes stared into wide innocent blue ones, making Deidara forget everything, including his own name. Sasori pressed his lips softly against the blond's neck, his hands quickly undoing the buttons on the blond's shirt.
The piece of clothing fell onto the floor and was left lying there completely forgotten. Deidara wrapped his arms around Sasori's waist as the redhead sucked on his skin, giving him a strange sensation he had never felt before. It was like hunger and thirst and a will to beg for more.
Deidara's eyes were closed as they made their way to the bed, their stomachs pressing together. Sasori set Deidara gently down on the sheets, moving back to invade the blond's mouth with his tongue. Deidara kissed back eagerly, enjoying each moment of it.
Smoothly and slyly, Sasori's hand made its way down to the blond's pants, unzipping them. Deidara had sensed it would come to this, yet the realization still hit him hard, making him pull away from the kiss promptly.
With frightened eyes he first looked down at his boxers and then at Sasori. Sasori looked surprised for the briefest second, before he managed to collect himself. With a smirk he bent down again, pressing their lips together.
"Don't worry," he muttered against Deidara's mouth, his voice calm and soothing. This was all Deidara needed to be sure that everything would be fine. Closing his eyes again, he savored the kiss and let Sasori have his way.
The black boxers were slid off and two fingers covered with a warm substance entered him. Deidara gave a surprised gasp at the sensation, but it faded away into Sasori's mouth. Deidara soon caught himself moving his hips together with Sasori's fingers, wanting them to go deeper.
Sasori only chuckled at it. For a split second, Deidara wondered whether they had remembered to lock the door, when Sasori's cock entered him. Deidara's eyes flew wide open, nails digging into Sasori's back. His muscles tensed, making Sasori wince as well at the tightness he felt.
"Shh, relax, brat," Sasori soothed him, his forehead resting against Deidara's. Deidara squeezed his eyes shut tightly for a moment, before letting out a quiet breath and nodding. He tried to relax, taking deep breaths, while Sasori waited.
He'd counted to forty in his head, when he tried moving inside the blond again, taking it slowly at first. As Deidara's face turned more relaxed, Sasori picked up the pace. He started moving faster, soon building up a rhythm.
Deidara's breaths turned into pants as the rocking continued. Finally, he was the first to come, covering his own stomach with sticky white substance, followed by Sasori coming soon after inside of him as well.
Sasori pulled out, lying down next to the blond, waiting for his breathing to return to normal. His hand combed through Deidara's hair, caressing him softly as the blond pressed himself against him, hiding his face.
Sasori let out a sigh. "You don't have to go anywhere, brat."
Deidara twisted a little in his arms and looked up into the deep depths of the muddy brown eyes. His voice was unsteady when he spoke, which he tried to hide by speaking quietly. "Do you want me to stay?"
Sasori was quiet for a moment. Then, with sincerity in both his eyes and voice, he said: "Deidara, I would get down on my knees and beg if that was what would keep you from leaving."
Deidara flashed him a wistful smile, before burying his face in his chest again. Sasori felt Deidara's lips move against his skin as the blond muttered something. He couldn't be sure, but he thought it sounded like I will stay.
This time for real.
Ok, this was my first fic here on ff and it's finally finished! Let me tell you, I am far from proud of all the mistakes I've made here, but what the hell, I'm human.
Хотели как лучше, а получилось как всегда.
Basically, the translation would be "We wanted the best, but it turned out as always." Yeah, that could sum it up: I wanted to write a great story, but wrote one with countless mistakes and a lack of descriptions. I wanted to at least end it greatly and show that I've improved over the ten months, but instead I made it cliche, went for the easy way out (aka smut) and STILL didn't add enough descriptions.
Shit happens, fucking often. Lol the double-meaning in the last part.