A/N: This has been a work in progress for a very long time now, but I am no less very proud of it. I have combined both book and film, so fans of both should be happy. Christian Bale though will always be my Patrick, no one could ever embody the character like he has. That being said, this story does not have the goofy undertone of the movie but is much more sadistic, twisted, and disgusting...like the book. I forewarn all with a weak stomach because it gets nothing short of revolting at points. Though, I believe anyone who is reading fiction about this story has a strong stomach to begin with :P. This is not entirely a true "love" story, and this is NOT a Psycho-Killer-Companion story by ANY means. There will be NO Mary Sue-I-Kill-Too. This guy can't take someone having a better business card than him there's no way he would ever tolerate a female killer. I sincerely hope you enjoy this crazy-ass web I have weaved for you...it's going to be one hell of a tale. xoxoxo Vermi

Canada's Greatest Export

He wore his Wayfarers on Friday's. They reminded him of the weekend even if it was the middle of January. Sitting on the couch in his lavish private office because his father practically owned Pierce & Pierce, Patrick used a long piece of blonde hair in lieu of a pen for the game of Sudoku he was attempting. Instead of closing the blinds to keep the midday sun from straining his eyes, Patrick took the lazy way out and just kept his back to the window with the shades on. The monogrammed ballpoint pen had been tucked behind his ear in line with his neatly slicked dark brown hair, so no actual writing was down on the paper except in his head. He saw numbers there to track himself, but in reality there were none and his secretary Jean had caught that.

The meek strawberry blonde had been watching him for about two minutes now, not saying a word in fear of interrupting him. Ever since she found the planner with his treasure trove of vulgar drawings she had put two and two together about this man she was so deeply in love with, though she had no choice but to become more wary. Her long straight hair had been lightly moved behind her small ear so she could peer into the back of the newspaper better, but out the corner of his eye Patrick caught her looking and moved the hair into his pocket as if she actually might have missed seeing it before giving a big fake grin.

"Yes, Jean?"

The way he smiled, how unusually white his teeth were and how sweet he looked when his lips curled back was like an ice pick driving into her chest. She wanted to be the one to put that smile on his face, but no, he smiled for decoration and nothing more.

Suddenly remembering she had a message to relay or she wouldn't be standing in his office, Jean rocked on her toes for a second before remembering, "Timothy Bryce called to remind you that you're meeting at Harry's Bar for drinks before Xenon…"

"Thanks" he responded robotically with a single nod, "Nearly slipped my mind."

"Would you like anything?" her voice rose lightly in hope of him giving her a request, but instead he chuckled lightly and crossed his legs while leaning back to get a better look at her.

"No…! I'm fine, thank you."

Taking that as her cue to leave, Jean swallowed hard and hung her head before turning her back and Patrick caught the pastel pink suit with a knee-length skirt she wore and had to smile.

"You look nice today, Jean."

Stopping in the doorway and resting her hand on the frame so she wouldn't become weak in the knees, Jean smiled bashfully before biting her lower lip to hide it and turning to Patrick to give him a nod, "Thanks, Patrick."

With the knowledge that he, Bryce, McDermott, and Van Patten were meeting up at nine for pre-gaming at Harry's, Patrick left the office early to go back to his apartment and freshen up. Normally he wouldn't change out of his Valentino Couture tailored suit and he didn't do so today either, instead he opted to brush his teeth, check his hair, and rub the right amount of cologne into his skin to bring in the fresh meat. Currently there was a body bound upright in his broom closet of the hot blonde he decided to play with three nights ago and was yet to dispose of. He was debating eating her brains or not depending on what he picked up tonight. The hotter the number the more likely she ends up on his plate.

He'd been thinking about bringing today's special over since he woke up that morning. All the things they were going to do, how he'd reel her back to the apartment, fuck her, get it all on videotape, and then proceed to get her in the face with a nail gun.

Checking his gold Rolex Bryce played with his Perrier on the glass table while looking up at McDermott and Van Patten, who were similarly annoyed.

"Christ, where the hell is Bateman?" he shook his head and checked the clock once more, it was nine-thirty almost, "I thought the point of a pre-game was to get fuckin' loaded before we even get there"

"Well you know he ain't crying in his soup over Evelyn" Van Patten shook his head with a bit of a snort.

"Pfft" McDermott shook his head and waved him off, "Evelyn? Please! You knew that shit wasn't lasting there's no way a piece of ass like that could stand someone so fuckin' whacked"

"Speaking of ass…" Van Patten looked around the table and smirked, "You know who's gonna be at Xenon tonight…?"

"Oh get the fuck out of here" Bryce waved him off, "How the hell do you think any of us are gonna be able to get in if she's there? The bitch tours with fuckin' Madonna"

"Bon Jovi actually" Van Patten corrected while hunching his spine and drumming his fingers together slowly, "The dance solo project next year puts her with Madonna"

"Whatever" McDermott waved him off, "Either way Bryce is fuckin' right. How does ANYONE expect we'll be able to get in there? Why don't we go somewhere else?"

"And pass up Mindy fuckin' Stratus?" Van Patten raised an eyebrow, "Are you shitting me, the both of you?"

Bryce just had to snicker darkly at the brunette young man, "And what the hell makes you think Stratus gives you the decency of a second glance?"

"She's a god damn Republican she wants businessmen" Van Patten nodded curtly with narrowed eyes, "Why the hell else would she be in Manhattan?"

"For a CONCERT you putz" Bryce denounced coldly before fiddling with his glass of Perrier once more, "And while you're all pent-up in your wet dream, she's a god damn Canuck"

"No fuckin' way!" McDermott snorted and shook his head, "You're telling me Mindy fuckin' Stratus is an Eh-hole?"

"Yep" Bryce nodded once while finally taking a long sip, "a fuckin' Frostback from Toronto"

"Moosefucker…" Van Patten nodded along, "a smokin' hot Moosefucker"

"Are YOU kidding me?" Bryce snorted and shook his head with a groan, "She's a fat fuckin' midget her SISTER is the hot one"

"She's got a sister?" Van Patten's eyebrows rose, "She's got a fuckin' SISTER and no one told me?"

"TWIN" Bryce's eyebrows rose, "sister…tiny little hard body with brains but no talent. She's a god damn doctor in Rubberhead-land no one knows she exists"

"Yet SHE gets into the club with Mindy fuckin' Stratus…." McDermott scoffed with a roll of his eyes, "Seriously I just want to stare at her tits you know Stratus always has them hangin' out"

"I'm TELLING you don't get your fuckin' hopes up with Stratus at that club tonight NO ONE is getting in" Bryce checked his watch and scowled, "And where the hell is Bateman he's half an hour late at this point I'm gonna be fuckin' loaded before we even leave"

"Heh" McDermott snorted, "Someone shoulda told him we were meeting at eight so he'd show up on time"

"What's he doing? His makeup?" Van Patten shook his head subtly and quickly checked the doorway where thankfully the gaunt young man walked in wearing a navy overcoat to combat the icy weather with style, "There we go…!"

"It's about fuckin' time, Bateman!" McDermott leaned back in his chair to catch the thin smile Patrick shot them all and sat back in his chair to get a better view of his face.

"What fuckin' took you so long?" Bryce shook his head with a furrowed brow at Patrick, whose eyes had rounded uncomfortably and he smoothly looked both ways before answering.

"I had to return some videotapes…"

Normally that excuse should have still raised eyebrows as to how it could take someone hours to complete such a mundane task, but instead it went ignored and conversation carried on. It always went ignored he could tell them he was dragging a girl's body from his closet to the dumpster out back to burn it and no one would have actually listened to what he was saying.

"Alright so we need your opinion before we do anything and we need it now" Van Patten looked Patrick in the eye and nodded once, "We're going to Xenon but Mindy Stratus is in town with her hot doctor sister and there is no way in HELL anyone can get in there with her"

"Well why not?" Patrick shrugged and waved his platinum AmEx card, "I'm certain we can work a few things out"

"Yeah but question is how much more are we willing to pay for the same old coke we could get anywhere else" Bryce's eyebrows rose pointedly.

"Well I mean think about it" McDermott shrugged, "All rockstars do is shoot shit so it's gotta be WAY" he chuckled and exaggerated with his hands, "above normal par"

"She's touring with Bon Jovi who's been makin' headlines with Sambora every other day for doing shit" Bryce rolled his eyes and snorted, "Crazy little bitch I bet she slept with that entire band"

This whole rock and roll scene just wasn't appealing to Patrick. He knew of Mindy Stratus and her band Stratusfear, but had little to no interest of ever listening to them. Her style was far too edgy for his taste and in his personal opinion her lyrics were as deep as a puddle. From what he knew she wasn't even blonde. If she planned on touring with Madonna something would have to be done about that.

"So we're doing it?" Van Patten asked hopefully and Bryce had to shrug a nod.

"Thank fuckin' Christ" McDermott sighed and looked to Patrick, who wore a blank pensive expression before nodding silently, "What do you think, Bateman? You think we can get Stratusfear to snort a line with us?"

"You said she has a sister…?" that was all Patrick cared about and immediately McDermott nodded.

"Fucking HOT sister…brunette and married to some lucky fuckin' loser" he sniggered, "but who ever gave a good damn about THAT, right?"

Patrick was too spurned to answer…brunette. That was his first sign of 'no' and he never ever saw her face.

"Oh Christ, SEE? THIS is what I was worried about!" Bryce groaned as the foursome approached Xenon and the club was completely packed with a line that wrapped around the street.

"Well we've come all this way; it's worth the try, isn't it?" Patrick, who at this point could not be denied entry to this club because it would solidify him as unworthy, pulled out his ID and went right up to the bouncers who were dressed in drag.

"Hey! What the hell you think you're doin'?" people on line all dressed up in the cold began to violently shout, but Patrick acted as if he didn't hear them and was allowed right in with the trio following suit.

A hand clapped to Patrick's shoulder and once he craned his neck with a scowl it was Bryce, who was clearly impressed with him.

"I gotta hand it to you, Bateman you've got balls beyond my expectations" he patted Patrick's back which clearly didn't please him.

The flashing lights and blaring music was nothing new or what he wasn't used to, and immediately they all made their way to the nearest bar. McDermott was on Stratus-watch but Patrick didn't care. There had to be hundreds of women there hoping for an autograph or a possibly drunken lesbian encounter.

"Where the hell is Madison?" Bryce shook his head as he and Patrick stood in a side alley outside the club that was pretty jammed with people, but not what they were counting on. They both had large sums of cash on-hand to pay for the cocaine but their usually reliable dealer had been a no-show.

"Maybe he got lost or…" of course Patrick had to be the voice of reason, "maybe he forgot?"

He too had peered around to try and find their dealer who apparently was absent, which annoyed him greatly. Patrick was cooler than Bryce though, who looked just about ready to pop a blood vessel.

"I swear if he doesn't fuckin' show up I'm gonna break his face next time I see him" Bryce nodded stiffly, which made Patrick think about saying something to calm him but he opted not to.

"Just relax, alright?" he held a hand out and pushed Bryce nearer to the stone wall of the club, "So what he's a few minutes late? Give him a fucking second and maybe he'll show up"

"Need a light?" that telltale high-pitched Canadian accent made Bryce's jaw nearly hit the floor and sputter his next words out.

Wearing a man's brown leather jacket and a short little pink bustier dress to contain her silicone-implanted thirty-six inch circumference Double-D cup chest was none other than Mindy Stratus. Hip-length flat-ironed raven hair (clearly judging by her shapely medium-toned eyebrows wasn't her natural color) contrasted with snow-white skin. Despite the Manolo Blahnik's she didn't even clear five feet; Patrick put her at around four-ten or four-nine. She wasn't skinny, toned, or fat. Small baby features played to her advantage along with a set of collagen-plumped lips and the largest, roundest, and bluest eyes he'd ever seen. He hated dark hair but she reminded him of Elizabeth Taylor. He could take a photograph of the star and place it right next to this girl to find virtually no difference other than the rockstar's weight that had her much more filled out.

In Mindy's hand was a white cigarette of sorts and she had been pacing about smoking it all by herself; everyone around her completely inebriated and unable to identify just who was getting high with them.

"You got more than one?" Bryce nodded his head towards the Louis Vuitton handbag that draped from her shoulder, and Mindy shrugged daintily.

"I think I can reach into my cave of wonders and spare ya a cig" that wry grin, the way the collagen filled her lips and gave the perfect subtle pout all that came to mind was Elizabeth Taylor. A dirty baby-faced trashy rockstar Elizabeth Taylor.

As she reached down into her bag to spare one she took a drag of the cigarette and looked up at Bryce worriedly for a second.

"You know this ain't cancer stick, right? I do not do that shit"

"Crack works just fine just PLEASE, Stratus I need it" Bryce nodded once and began to pull money out when Mindy waved him off.

"No no" without even looking at him she tried to shoo the money away while digging the French-manicured fingers into her bag to get the cocaine cigarettes out, but again Bryce tried with the money.

"No please, I insist"

"Please…" finding what she wanted she pulled two out and handed them both to Bryce while smirking gently, "you think you're breakin' my bank?"

"Thanks" giving her a nod Bryce gratefully took the crack cigarettes from her which snapped her attention to Patrick next, who made her blood rush a bit faster just by the look of him, "I appreciate it"

"And what about you, Handsome?" Miss Taylor was undressing him with her eyes and he knew it, in fact it turned him on already, "You smoke?"

Eyeing the cocaine cigarette in her hands he had to wrinkle his nose a tad and raise an eyebrow, "Is it any good?"

"'Is it any good'" she mocked with a chuckle and shake of the head, "Of course it is good I am a god damn rockstar"

Wedding and engagement rings sat on her child-sized fingers as she extended the left hand holding the unlit cigarette for him to grasp.

"No cancer I swear" she giggled lightly, watching the way he eyed her fingers like a Martian before taking the cigarette and giving her a delayed nod, "Need a light?"

He froze after sticking it in his mouth and stared at the way she was gawking at him just standing stiff with the cigarette in his mouth as Bryce puffed away.

"Unless you are smoking that by immaculate conception I have no idea how any of it is getting in your system" she was holding a hot pink lighter towards him and immediately frazzled he took it, brushing the tips of his long manicured fingers lightly against her icy skin and she felt cold; the coldness of an individual not only suffering from a severe case of anemia, but some internal absence of warmth.

"Thanks" he nodded once and it was enough. She returned the nod and went to take another drag as he lit the crack cigarette when another Canadian accent rang about the alley.

"Meem! Meem!"

Slightly startled Bryce raised an eyebrow at Mindy, who mashed her teeth and tried to make herself small(er) as the petite young woman in black leather pants with thick flowing chocolate hair made her way to snag her tinier sister around the arm.

"And just WHAT are you doing, Meemsicle?" shaking her head the tanned young woman with soft chocolate eyes and full lips ripped the crack cigarette from her twin and shook her head, "You KNOW you're supposed to quit that crap, Meem! What are you DOING" she caught the attention of both Patrick and Bryce, "Who ARE these people—what do they want from you?"

"Nothing, toots" Bryce snapped at her while finishing up the cigarette and stamping on it, sticking the unlit one behind his ear, "Just catching a light from YOUR baby sister"

"And you TOOK IT from her?" shaking her head the brunette tried to pull her pitifully tiny twin under her arm.

"Well what'd you want us to do? Shit on it?" Bryce countered coldly and scowled at the taller and more physically fit twin, "What are you, her mother?"

"I'm all she's got" she scowled and rubbed Mindy's arm with a shake of the head, "Leave her alone, alright? You're not getting laid."

Bryce's eyes widened in shock at that as Trish dragged the despondent twin away, "Whhoooaa there, cunt" he shook his head and glared at Patrick, "Can you believe that shit? Can you seriously believe that just happened?"

"No…" Patrick absently answered because he'd already given the tiny rockstar a wink as her sister dragged her away, one that was not only returned with a poke of the tongue between her teeth but the pupils which completely dilated with infatuation for him.

"You're prettier than your sister" Patrick smiled weakly as he and Mindy strolled alongside the other up a side street after she had literally ditched her twin to move off with the hot guy she gave the crack to.

"Hm" dropping the Elizabeth Taylor eyes she chuckled lightly before smirking coyly and looking up, "that is a first time I have ever heard that"

"Yeah, well…" looking her in the eye with a fake smile he pretended to give the genuine nod, "it's true."

"Oh is it?" giggling she shook her head and clamped a hand in her tresses of thick raven hair, "Well I am sorry to disappoint but she is prettier than me I am entirely fake."

"How so?" that of course brought his curiosity and he eyeballed the teeny frame beginning with her tremendous artificial chest.

"Well…" she shrugged with widened eyes, "My lips are collagen…my hair is really very brown…I have had five nose jobs, my chin has been chiseled, my boobs are fake, and I have had a lot of liposuction because if you cannot tell I am fat, three of my teeth are fake too" she watched his mouth open so she interrupted, "my ex knocked them out when he was drunk."

He nodded once while staring into the Elizabeth Taylor eyes, "Are those contacts?"

"No" giggling meekly she would have leaned on his arm but the way they just stood beside his body like a soldier she was nervous, "Do ya like them?"


Her face fell, "Tell me the real reason why we are walking right now…" she gulped, "alone."

"How old are you?"

Her lips curled and she stared at the pavement, "Twenty-three"

"I'm twenty-eight. My name is Patrick Bateman…and I think you're a very pretty girl" he watched her face turn all shades of red without as much as a smile to his face.

"Take me out to dinner pretty or fuck me pretty?"

"I can do both" his voice carried such monotony yet slightly rose, letting her know he was interested.

"Oh can you now?" her tongue poked between her teeth and she giggled, "Which comes first?"

"That all depends on how quickly you want to die" he slipped out as always, though her face contorted and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Excuse me?" that threw him off. Usually when he slipped out a comment like that it went disregarded but she didn't ignore it. She listened. "Why would you say that?"

"Why, did I offend you?" quickly he covered up with a lie, but now more than anything was eyeing her voluptuous little body hungrily.

"Do you really like me or not?" a light breeze lifted the lengthy raven locks off her back and after nervously running a hand through it she looked him in the eye, "You do not have to pretend you do just because you want my piece I will fuck you anyway"

"But I do…" he nodded once and lied behind a smile, "I think you're gorgeous"

Yet again she snorted, making him lightly hold her face in one hand while backing her against a wall in the alley and roughing grinding his groin against hers. Panting open-mouthed she lifted a leg around his waist and he got the other around his waist as well, ripping her lacy thong underwear from her body and discarding it as she freed his arousal. Reaching down to touch it she would have looked him in the eye and kissed him, but his attention wasn't even on her anymore. It was on screwing her. All he wanted clearly was to have impersonal sex and uncomfortably her arms hooked under his to allow such. A hard push and he was inside her tight, wet heat and it was beyond what he was expecting. As far as an environment for his manhood she was amazing, nothing he'd ever nailed in his life was so tight.

She whimpered and kept her face in the crook of his neck since the harder he pounded into her the bigger an arch his back created. His skin…it smelled so good and felt so soft her face could have buried in it forever and he wasn't even fazed that she thought so. His breathing hastened and he liked fucking her. She was a great lay, that wasn't so easy to come by nowadays. Sure there were tons of hotter women than this one, but they weren't as good to have sex with. She was just so small and willing to take part with him that it felt great to have his way.

This was power, this was control. Her tiny hands had woven into his hair and though his breathing was haggard he did attempt to kiss her to further sucker her in, but she growled and shook her head before pulling back.

"Do not fucking kiss me you do not mean it"

"Fuck I do" nodding he got back enough to look her in the eye, but all she could do was shake her head and see right through that empty, dead stare of his.

"No you do not. Do not ever do that again it will not work"

He would have stabbed the shit out of her if she wasn't such a great fuck. Releasing hard he panted for a minute and stood with her legs wrapped around his waist and her back to the brick wall.

"I like you" she confessed miserably, just like every other one of his victims, "Are you gonna kill me now?"

"WHAT?" pulling back as well to look her in the eye he stared at her oddly before shaking his head and gulping, "Wh-what would make you think that?"

"I dunno" her eyes hit the floor and she shrugged, stunned he didn't remove her legs from his waist yet, "You said you would"

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did"

"No…" he grabbed her chin, "what? Are you one of those stupid fucking morons who take everything literally?"


Whether she realized it or not she just kept herself alive.

"Do you have an apartment?"

"Yes" nodding once she looked him in the eye and just gazed at the light brown shade. Such beautiful, dead eyes. That wasn't her favorite part about this guy though, his mouth was beautifully shaped and constructed and his smile won her over. It was a fake smile, but no less beautiful than if it had been real.

"Where?" running his fingers through her hair he again stunned her by not shoving her down.

"Park Avenue…" she blushed and nodded with her eyes to the floor, "Why? Where are you?"

"Upper West Side…the American Gardens Building"

"Oh! By Tom Cruise!" she giggled loudly and he gave her a single nod, "I know of it but I have never been there"

"What's your phone number?"

"Are you…." she gulped and traced his overcoat with the tips of her manicured fingers, "Are you serious?"

"I don't see why I wouldn't be" he nodded once and pet her hair, "You should visit me at work, Baby Doll. I'll nail you in a bathroom stall or…" he chuckled lightly, "something…of that nature. What do you say?"