269 Things that went wrong in the Lightning Thief movie

Disclaimer: If I owned PJO, I would have made a deal with Warner Brothers, not Fox.

The computer kinda deleted all of the numbering, but believe me, we have EXACTLY 269 things on here.

A HUGE thanks to SpringFling for fishing out the smaller details and for typing most of this out while we were watching the movie.


Poseidon doesn't come out of the water.

You don't see Poseidon walking along the streets.

The entrance to Olympus is supposed to be at the bottom of the Empire State building.

Zeus and Poseidon don't meet on top of the Empire State building.

The lift doesn't burst open.

The lift doesn't close in an epically awesome way behind Zeus.

At the beginning Percy's not supposed to be under water.

Grover isn't supposed to be black.

Grover isn't supposed to have black hair.

Grover doesn't use crutches.

Yancy Academy is supposed to be a boarding school.

Ms Dodd's is supposed to be the substituted math teacher, not English teacher.

They don't talk about Othello.

Percy doesn't walk home. Percy's supposed to take a taxi at the end of the year.

Percy only comes home at the end of the year.

Gabe's already playing poker.

Sally comes in after Gabe.

Sally's supposed to bring home a bag of blue candy.

There are no exams.

Percy never eaves drop on Chiron and Grover's discussion.

Percy's supposed to have Gabe's "study" as his room

She's supposed to work at the Grand Central Station Candy store.

Gabe doesn't ask Sally to get him a bottle of beer.

Sally makes Gabe a five-layered dip.

Gabe never hits Sally's butt.

Sally doesn't iron clothes.

Percy never goes onto the balcony.

Percy never sees Poseidon.

Poseidon doesn't talk to Percy.

Percy doesn't look back.

Percy doesn't listen to his IPod.

Percy doesn't have to say the name of a demigod.

Percy doesn't read the Greek in the museum.

Ms Dodd's talks to him at lunch.

Ms Dodd's isn't supposed to take Percy into a different room while Ms Brunner's talking.

Ms Dodd's doesn't stand at the top of the shelf.

She doesn't jump at Percy.

Ms Dodd's never grabs Percy.

Percy should vaporize Ms Dodd's.

Chiron never asks Percy what Ms Dodd's said.

Riptide is supposed to be a capped pen, not a clicky pen.

Grover and Percy don't walk home.

They go onto the bus.

Gabe only plays poker the first time.

Sally doesn't serve them.

Gabe never pushes Percy to the wall.

Grover never beats Gabe up.

The car should be red.

Sally never talks about Poseidon in the car.

They drive to the beach, not the camp.

Percy's supposed to have a dream about an eagle and a horse fighting.

The Minotaur is supposed to already chase them.

Cows can't fly! And even if they could, they should be dead when they hit the floor.

Minotaur wears tighty-whiteys.

There aren't any cows on the field.

There's a pine tree instead of a gate.

Camp Half-Blood's supposed to be on a hill.

Riptide's supposed to be celestial bronze.

The horn doesn't get stuck in the tree; Percy rips it off.

Percy should save Grover, not the other way round.

Percy's supposed to wake up several times in the infirmary.

Percy's supposed to wake up for the last time on the porch of the Big House.

Where's the Big House?

People don't wear armor in the camp.

Nobody calls Percy Perce.

Grover's supposed to have tiny horns.

Percy never steps in front of the archers.

Percy's supposed to keep the Minotaur horn.

Annabeth's not supposed to be fighting.

Annabeth's supposed to have blond hair and gray eyes.

Percy's supposed to have black hair and green eyes.

Grover's not supposed to be giving him the tour around Camp Half-Blood.

Grover's not supposed to be girl-crazy.

Where are the cabins!

Camp Half-Blood isn't supposed to be set up like that.

Percy isn't supposed to like Annabeth, and Annabeth's not supposed to like Percy.

Chiron's supposed to be the only centaur.

Chiron's supposed to have the white body of a stallion, not brown.

The Poseidon cabin isn't supposed to be a HUT!

There aren't supposed to be artifacts in the Poseidon cabin.

The cabin isn't supposed to be next to the water.

Chiron and Percy aren't supposed to have a talk about Percy being a demigod.

There aren't any hot tub springs.

Percy's supposed to stay in the Hermes cabin.

Nobody knows who Percy's dad is.

Percy's not supposed to be cocky.

Luke should have a scar on his face.

Percy's not supposed to guess who his dad is.

Percy's never becomes the supreme lord of the bathroom.

There's no pact between the Big Three.

They're not supposed to be sixteen. They should be twelve.

What about Hestia?

There's no rock wall.

Riptide should be 3 ft. long.

Percy's supposed to have a helmet already.

He's supposed to be on Annabeth's side in Capture the Flag.

There's not Zeus's fist!

Percy doesn't defeat Annabeth and all of those warriors.

Annabeth's not supposed to seem intimidating.

Chiron doesn't introduce Percy to the other demigods.

There's no Dionysus.

There's no Pollux and Castor.

They don't show Clarisse or Stoll brothers.

The banners aren't at the creek.

Percy's not supposed to try and get the banner.

Percy's not supposed to be on offense with Luke; he's supposed to be on defense.

A hellhound's supposed to come after the game

Annabeth's team wins.

All of the weapons are supposed to be celestial bronze.

Annabeth's not supposed to injure Percy.

Clarisse's supposed to fight against Percy, not Annabeth.

Annabeth's supposed to have a dagger.

Percy's supposed to break Clarisse's spear.

Grover and Chiron don't watch Percy fighting.

Annabeth and Percy's team members don't watch.

There's no Nancy Bobofit.

Nobody in camp has a tattoo.

Annabeth suspects that Percy's a son of Poseidon in the book.

Percy doesn't beat all the others after he's healed.

Percy's not supposed to get the flag.

There's not supposed to be a barbeque at the end.

There's no dining pavilion.

There's no sing-along bon fire.

They don't offer food to the gods.

Percy doesn't get claimed.

Percy doesn't talk to Annabeth.

Hades isn't supposed to come up in the fire.

The nymphs don't offer a party.

Grover's not supposed to have a dagger.

Hades doesn't look like that.

They're supposed to get a quest.

They're supposed to visit the oracle.

Percy doesn't sneak out of camp.

Grover wants his Searcher's license.

The Hermes cabin doesn't have all that electro stuff.

Luke's not supposed to be alone in the cabin.

The shoes don't start when you run. They start when you say Maia.

Luke doesn't give them a map.

Luke doesn't give Percy a shield.

They don't try to get the pearls.

Where are the Fates?

Argus drives them to the bus stop.

There's no Gladiola.

They never get on a train.

They never go to the Arch.

They go to Auntie Em's Garden Emporium at night.

There aren't any rats in the cooler.

They're supposed to get a meal.

They pretend that they're lost.

There isn't another person at Auntie Em's.

Medusa's supposed to be an old lady.

She wears a veil instead of sunglasses.

She has a mid-eastern accent.

They never see Medusa turn someone to stone.

Medusa tries to get them all together, not separately.

They don't drive in a truck.

Percy doesn't use his IPod to watch Medusa.

There's no fountain of drachmas.

They don't take Medusa's head with them; they mail it to Olympus.

Grover never calls Annabeth Annie.

They don't wrap Medusa's head in Grover's jacket.

They aren't wearing the Camp Half-Blood shirts.

There's no pearl on Medusa's wrist.

They aren't supposed to stay at the motel.

They're supposed to go to a restaurant and meet Ares.

He woman doesn't see Medusa's head.

Percy doesn't heal Annabeth.

Annabeth and Percy aren't supposed to talk at the pool.

They're supposed to ride in the Animal truck.

They're supposed to go to the water park and run into Hephaestus's trap.

Percy doesn't mope in the pool.

Why did he pack swimming shorts?

Annabeth never even got injured.

Percy's supposed to say, "Those people must love olives."

There's not supposed to be voices in their heads.

Annabeth's supposed to be afraid of spiders.

They aren't supposed to visit the Parthenon replica.

The hydra's in the second book, not the first.

I really doubt there's a crown with a pearl on it on Athena's head in the Parthenon.

Annabeth isn't supposed to knock out the workers.

Where did they get the computer?

They never video-message Luke.

There's no Iris messaging.

Did it really take thirty minutes to get the pearl?

Why would the hydra want the lightning bolt?

The shoes are supposed to take Percy to Tartarus.

Where did Annabeth get the bow and arrows?

There's no epically awesome arch moment with Echidna and the Chimera.

How did they get out if the doors were locked?

They never turn the hydra to stone in the book.

The lady is supposed to give them the pearls.

The Lotus Hotel and Casino is supposed to be for kids, not adults.

They never gamble or anything like that.

They never steal a car.

The entrance to the Underworld is wrong.

There are no lotus flowers that they eat.

Ares is supposed to give them the backpack.

Lady Gaga. REALLY?

Grover never shows his legs.

There's supposed to be a hotel room.

Where did the dance club come from?

They don't stop off at a car wash.

Annabeth's supposed to be playing a Sims City game.

The Lotus casino people aren't supposed to be evil!

Again. Lady Gaga. REALLY?

Wait… there's keys in the car?

They aren't supposed to go to Hollywood by car. They're supposed to go by taxi.

They never meet Crusty.

Charon is supposed to be cool.

They're supposed to pretend to have died in a bathtub.

They're supposed to bribe Charon a lot.

What happened to Cerberus?

Where are Elysium and the Iles of the Blest?

They're supposed to be drug to the edge of Tartarus.

Persephone isn't supposed to be there.

There aren't supposed to be any hellhounds.

Percy's supposed to be grateful that Annabeth's next to him in Charon's boat.

The lighting bolt is supposed to be in the backpack, not the shield.

Hades' Helm is supposed to be stolen also.

Hades is supposed to be on a throne.

Hade's isn't supposed to have a "McJagger look".

His mother isn't supposed to escape with them.

They're supposed to go to the Santa Monica beach.

The souls aren't supposed to almost kill them.

The National Guard rescues them from the ocean.

There's supposed to be skeleton soldiers.

Hades never gets a hold of the bolt.

Persephone never gets a hold of the lightning bolt.

They never walk through the fields of Asphodel.

They're supposed to be encased in bubbles when they stomp the pearls.

There's supposed to be a guy at the front desk.

Luke isn't supposed to see them and fight for the bolt.

Luke's not supposed to cut the wings off Percy's shoes.

Okay. NOW Annabeth has a dagger?

Yeah. Why DOES Luke want a war of the gods?

Luke's supposed to say that Kronos is rising.

Luke's not supposed to use the bolt, and neither is anyone else.

Luke isn't supposed to almost electrify a helicopter.

They aren't supposed to struggle in midair for the bolt.

Percy's not supposed to make a trident out of water.

Mt. Olympus isn't right.

Chiron doesn't tell Percy that hi sword will return to his pocket every time.

Percy's supposed to give Riptide back to Chiron, then Chiron gives it back to Percy before they leave on the quest.

Sally isn't supposed to see Olympus.

Nancy Bobofit never throws ketchup sandwiches at Grover in the movie.

There's supposed to be music in the elevator.

Percy's supposed to go to Olympus alone.

Annabeth never says that she visited Olympus on the winter solstice.

Percy never gets alone time with his dad in the movie.

Percy never challenges Ares to a fight and wins in the movie.

Percy's supposed to have dreams about Kronos rising from Tartarus.

Luke's supposed to set a pit scorpion on Percy.

Percy's supposed to almost die from the scorpion sting.

Percy's supposed to contemplate going back home to his mom.

Annabeth's supposed to go back home after the end of camp.

Percy's supposed to visit his mom before going back to camp.

Percy's supposed to play pinochle with Chiron and Mr. D.

Percy's supposed to see Chiron and Mr. D playing pinochle with invisible people.

Luke's supposed to be at camp when they get back.

A tree nymph saves Percy when he gets the scorpion sting.

Grover never GETS horns. He gets his searcher's license.

ANNABETH'S INVISIBILITY CAP!

Luke's supposed to be the best sword fighter at camp. Not Annabeth.

Percy's supposed to DO stuff before they leave for the quest.

THERE'S NO PERCABETH IN THE FIRST BOOK!

The theme song just doesn't match.

The gods are supposed o send Medusa's head to Percy.

Sally's supposed to petrify Gabe while he's playing poker.

The WHOLE THING is just PLAIN CHEESY!