A/N: Just a little one-shot I thought up whilst sitting in the emergency room yesterday. (Nothing too serious- I broke my toe) I know, I know. A broken toe, if that's not a sign that I need to update Reckless Abandon, then I don't know what is. Anyway,

Enjoy!

"Nii-San?"

Itachi continued to look at the Kunai that he was sharpening, without so much as a glance towards his brother, but Sasuke knew he was listening.

"You're good at everything, right?" The younger asked. Itachi still didn't speak. He looked up at Sasuke, raising a curious eyebrow.

"I mean, I know it's not your specialty or anything, but you're pretty bitchin at Medical ninjutsu, right?"

"Bitchin?" Itachi questioned in monotone.

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, like you're good at it, right?"

"Why?"

The younger Uchiha smiled. "Well, remember how I fell incorrectly the other day while I was training, and you got all overprotective and took me to the hospital even though it was only a sprain?"

"Hn."

"Were you paying attention to what they had on the TV?"

"No." Itachi replied honestly. He sighed, looking back down at his Kunai, and Sasuke again heard the annoying scraping sound of the ninja-tool being sharpened. Itachi was getting bored of the story, he'd have to quicken it up...

"It was one of those medical advice broadcasts, about men. I'm eighteen now, so technically I'm a man, not a boy anymore. I've been thinking about something since seeing the broadcast."

"And?" The scraping silenced. Naturally, Itachi was more alert when it had to do with the thought of Sasuke's health.

"I want you to give me a prostate exam."

Itachi went back to sharpening his Kunai, with a light smirk on his face.

Scraaaaape. Scraaaaaaape. Scraaaaaaaa-

"Well?" Sasuke asked impatiently. "You're a good enough doctor. Will you do it?"

"No."

The raven pouted, glaring evilly at the Kunai. He stood up and snatched the weapon out of Itachi's hand, then seated himself pointedly on the man's lap. "Why not?" He whined.

Itachi didn't react at all when he willingly let Sasuke throw his little tantrum. He looked up from his now empty hands to make eye contact with his little brother.

"I think we both know that your prostate is fine, Otouto." The weasel replied; his smirk ever-widening.

"It could be enlarged."

"Are you having frequent urination?" Itachi asked jokingly.

"Well, no... but it's pretty easy to find, right?"

"You can answer that question yourself, can't you?"

Sasuke blushed. It was true that he fingered himself, but he didn't know that Itachi was aware of it. Then again, Itachi noticed everything that Sasuke did. Even during the more... personal... moments. Although... Usually, Itachi was quite involved in those moments, so he was noticing first-hand, so to speak.

"I can feel where it is though. You always say it's better to play it safe, so why not just give me the exam? It can't be that hard."

"On the contrary, Otouto- I think it will be very hard. The exam should be pretty simple, though."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Itachi's perverted comment and pecked his brother on the lips. "Do I have to make an appointment?" He asked innocently.

Itachi rolled them over so that he was laying above Sasuke on their living room couch.

"I accept walk-ins." He answered, before claiming his little brother's lips in a passionate kiss.

Sasuke moaned when he felt Itachi's tongue push it's way into his mouth, he pushed his own tongue against it, as if to force it out, only to have Itachi's tongue curl over his, licking at the roof of his mouth. Even when it came to kissing, Itachi always won.

Sasuke arched his back, suckling at Itachi's lip and biting it gently, as their tongues continued to tango. Itachi pulled back, placing a soft kiss on the younger's now-swollen lips.

Sasuke smiled. "You're a very forward doctor, Uchiha-Samma."

"If you cooperate, It's free of charge." Itachi answered, littering his brother's neck with an assortment of bites, sucks, and kisses.

"Well I am on a budget..."

Itachi smirked and stood up. He motioned for Sasuke to follow him into the kitchen then lifted the teen effortlessly onto the island counter. He carefully re-located the cutting board, mixer, and other small appliances then turned back to face Sasuke.

"Please undress and put on this robe."

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he was handed an apron from the hook on the wall. Itachi politely stepped into the hallway and came back only after Sasuke called to say that he was ready.

The elder walked in and lifted Sasuke's wrist. He kissed his hand, then checked Sasuke's pulse.

"Your heart is racing, have you recently had some sort of traumatic experience?"

Sasuke whined, he was already painfully hard, and as happy as he was that Itachi was playing along, he really didn't care about all the boring parts of a medical exam.

"Nii-San, can't we just skip to the prostate exam."

"Sure just one more thing, I know it's embarrassing, but it's necessary..." Itachi said, taking out rubber gloves that he must have retrieved from the first-aid kit in the linen closet while he waited.

Sasuke's eyes widened as he looked down at what his brother was doing. Itachi merely smirked. "Turn your head and cough, please."

Sasuke threw his head back and groaned. "Close enough." Itachi replied shortly, giving Sasuke's balls a firm squeeze before removing his hand.

"Remove the robe and lay down on your side, please."

Sasuke carelessly threw the apron in the general direction of the hook and leaned back on the island, ignoring the direction to be on his side.

Itachi reached into the drawer and took out a small bottle of mentholated lubricant.

"You keep lube in the kitchen?" Sasuke asked disbelievingly. He knew that they were both pretty hot-headed but he didn't think Itachi to have the house so well-prepared.

"Any good doctor has his tools at the ready at any given time, in case of an emergency." Itachi replied, squeezing a generous amount of the lube onto his fingers.

"Now, I am going to give you a digital rectal exam. This means that I will place one of my fingers into your rectum. I will locate, and examine your prostate for any lumps or other abnormalities. This may be mildly uncomfortable, but it will only take a minute. Any questions?"

"Will it take longer if you use two fingers?"

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Perhaps."

"What about three?"

"Would you prefer it that way?"

"Yes." Sasuke whispered, spreading his legs open.

"Anything for the patient."

Itachi slipped a finger into Sasuke's entrance. He was able to locate the prostate immediately, not from any medical experience, but whether he be a doctor or not, he already knew exactly where to push.

"Fuck!" Sasuke gasped out, pushing against the digit wantonly.

"Don't worry, Uchiha-Kun, sexual arousal is typical for this type of exam. There's no need to feel embarrassed or self-conscious."

Itachi's words were wasted. Sasuke was feeling something, but it was a far stretch away from embarrassed or self-conscious. It was more along the lines of frantic, or to be blunt: horny.

Itachi prodded around for a few more seconds, pretending that he was searching for something, then withdrew his finger.

"Now, I'm going to see how you react to stimulation of the prostate on different levels of penetration. This isn't usually a part of the exam, but I'm doing my own personal research if you don't mind."

Sasuke simply whimpered out his approval and turned over on the counter. He got on his hands and knees and looked back at Itachi.

The weasel slipped his index finger again, but this time it was closely followed by his middle finger. Sasuke gave a pleasured sigh and again pushed back against the intrusion as Itachi added a third.

Itachi scissored his fingers, enjoying the whimpers and mewls that Sasuke made with each shallow thrust and stretch.

"Good, Uchiha-Kun. You're responding very well. Would you mind if I tried something a bit larger?"

"Please." Sasuke answered softly.

"Step down from the examining table and bend over it, please."

Sasuke did as he was told this time, and turned his head back to watch as 'Doctor Itachi' undressed. The "doctor" was hard and leaking a mouth-watering river of pre-cum. He stroked himself a little, letting the pre-ejaculatory fluids mingle with the lube that still lingered on the gloves, then placed himself at his "patient's" entrance.

Sasuke didn't even give his brother any time to say some witty doctorish phrase. He thrusted himself back onto Itachi's shaft and yelped at the sudden pain of his actions.

However, Itachi was just as good at finding the prostate with his cock as he was with his fingers and Sasuke quickly found himself to be crying out in pleasure rather than pain.

Itachi stroked at a quick yet comfortable pace, although they were also rocking to the beat of Sasuke's more erratic, desperate movements.

Eventually the elder's OCD took over and he decided he needed some sort of regularity. He held Sasuke's hips firmly, disallowing the teen to continue acting like a crazy nympho.

Sasuke let out a frustrated huff. "Let me go."

"No." Itachi answered, slowing down his thrusts until they were painfully slow.

"I hate you." Sasuke said shakily. He could feel his body tensing in anticipation, because he knew Itachi well, and knew that he too would grow tired of the lazy speed and end up fucking him properly.

"Was that your childish way of asking me to go faster?"

He didn't wait for an answer. He merely started moving extremely quickly, in deep, hard thrusts that had Sasuke actually gasping for air and clinging to the island for dear life.

Sasuke closed his eyes and focused all of his thought to the feeling of his brother brutally assaulting his ass. It was too much. He felt his orgasm nearing all too quickly, and before he could even warn Itachi his seed was spilling onto the lower shelves of the island.

Itachi followed only a few moments later, burying his load deep within Sasuke's ass. Then he pulled out and lazily used a paper towel to clean himself up before putting on his pants and walking back into the living room.

Sasuke stared at the door in a daze, again hearing the scrape sound of the Kunai being sharpened. His brother was forever a mystery...

"You don't want to cuddle or anything?" He called out.

"That would be unprofessional." Itachi answered curtly.

"The game's over!" Sasuke called back in an annoyed tone.

"There's no time for that right now, you have a great deal of dishes to wash."

Sasuke looked down at the shelf on the island. The plates were covered in his semen.

"No fair! It's your examining room!"

"I thought the game was over."

"But-... ugh. Fine!"

A few minutes later Sasuke was still at the sink, when he felt strong arms wrapping around him from behind.

"What?" He asked sourly.

Itachi kissed the back of his neck, and held his hand out for Sasuke to look at. A tiny bead of blood was building on his pinky.

"I cut myself with the Kunai."

"So?"

"I think I need to see a doctor."

And so it began again.

-Owari-