Unspoken in LA


"I'm still amazed by the depths of your strength, your heart… and your hotness." Really? "You're not too bad yourself, Castle." Downright yummy, in fact. Was that the right thing to say? You're incredibly hot too? Could you please just kiss me right now? Did I really just think that? Obviously, he's not about to kiss me. Crap. Break away so I don't make a fool of myself. "I should go. It's late." Crap, crap, crap. Why am I walking away? Why is it so hard to let myself feel something for him? "Kate…" "Goodnight, Castle." Shut the door, fast. Don't look back. He's nothing but heartache waiting to happen. Really? He's here, isn't he? He's always here, right next to me. Maybe… maybe he won't hurt me. I really wanted to kiss him just then, didn't I? Oh… I still want to kiss him. OK, here goes… no 'if only.' Deep breath…. Castle? Where is he? His door, it's closing? I thought he wanted this, wanted me. What the hell? How could I be so wrong? I can't believe I was about to do that.


"I'm still amazed by the depths of your strength, your heart… and your hotness." I want you so freakin' bad. "You're not too bad yourself, Castle." Really? Is that an invitation? Should I kiss her? She looks delicious sitting there, close enough I can smell her cherry-scented lotion. Is she still with Josh? Is she going to hate me if she is & I try to kiss her? "I should go. It's late." Crap, crap, crap. Why is she walking away? Why is it so hard to feel so much for her? I want this so bad! "Kate…" Please stay. "Goodnight, Castle." Please don't close that door. I just want to hold you. I want you to be mine. I'm already yours. Open the door. Please open the door! Come back out. Should I go to her door? How much of an ass would that make me, if she's still with Josh? Or, worse, if she's not, but still doesn't want me? She acts like she wants me, but runs away. She's not opening the door. I need a cold shower.


I keep me in a vacant lot, with the ivy & forget-me-nots, and hoping you'll come untangle me one of these days. Come and find me… now. Come and find me now.