Author's note: I don't want to retell the last chapter from Blaine's POV, but why not have him explore some thoughts, too, when I think the whole waking up together morning situation is a very intimate moment, and I am myself interested in how this plays out for them:) Maybe a little different than the 1st chapter, but I wanted to continue this a little bit. Let them have some more moments, which is basically all I want to do. Like, always. ;) Throw in some teenage confusion, a stepbrother, et voilà.
Cradle me, I'll cradle you*
Blaine's woken up in the same position that he'd fallen asleep in, and he thinks he cannot have slept for more than an hour or two.
Taking this into consideration he actually feels quite rested and comfortable, aside from that little kink in his neck muscle.
And the slight disorientation for the first few seconds after he woke. Until it came back to him where he was.
Next to whom.
Just like then, another quick surge of heat flies through him and ends as a prickle in his scalp.
He turns his head to chance a look at Kurt, but Kurt is actually snuggled against him way too close. At least to really get a good view of his face, that is.
Blaine takes a slow deep breath, somehow avert to the very idea of startling Kurt by any rash or sudden movement.
Which is stupid, because telling from how his breathing is even and a little shallow, he might still be fast asleep.
Then again, Blaine really does not have that much experience in sleeping with people to be a reliable judge when it comes to those matters.
He makes a small grimace, but it ends up as that accidental but persistent smile he catches himself wearing so very often lately.
Sleeping next to people. To Kurt. In a bed.
Actually, Blaine has never been one to sleep easy with others around, persons he is not extremely familiar with, he clarifies for himself. Having room mates, or someone with you in your tent in summer camp, that is fine. But whenever someone has had a sleep over in his bed, be it even a cousin or a close friend, things were different.
Not dramatically different, he's managed to sleep after all. But it's always been some kind of stiff and unnatural, like, as if he was afraid to disturb the other one's sleep and thus lay very still, moving as little as he could. And somehow his unconscious would comply and play along during the time when he was knocked out in sleep, as well.
Blaine stares at the ceiling above him.
All that surely fades once you really do that with another person, he muses. Sleep together. He huffs silently. Really sleep, he repeats again to no one in particular. Go through with it, for more than one night. Learn the other one's habits and how their bodies fit together. Really align.
Blaine deeply wants it to be like that with Kurt. And he actually has no real doubt that it will be, after some time, maybe even sooner than later. Even if he cannot tell with what right he claims that certainty.
At that, Kurt stirs a little next to him.
He is so very warm against his side, and Blaine's shirt actually sticks a little to his own skin, wherever Kurt is pressed against him, or where he has been breathing against at Blaine's shoulder. That happy laughter tingles and rises in Blaine's stomach, although his rational mind tells him, that thought might theoretically have been an uncomfortable one as well.
But it just isn't. So isn't.
He bites his lip.
Luckily it is not one of those mornings. When he wakes up to his own body compromising him with all too natural teenage boy conditions. Thank heavens. Not today. Because with Kurt so close...
Don't even go there now, he scolds before he can tense at the thought.
He tries again to look at Kurt, telling himself off once more in the next moment, because nothing's changed since the last time he tried and failed, due to his angle.
But he just really wants to see.
Would Kurt be uncomfortable with him watching him while he is still asleep?
Blaine mentally shrugs. Well he does not really want to watch, just... see, for once.
Mm. Kurt would probably skate over it, telling himself there was no need to be self-conscious around each other, and act it out for Blaine, try to at least, to reassure him.
Yeah, Kurt would do that.
And still blush despite himself over the attention and the feeling. And that makes Blaine smile like an idiot again.
Flashes of last night flicker up in his thoughts with no particular order or purpose other than making it hard for Blaine not to twitch or articulate his emotional engagement with his body as well.
The smile actually gives his cheeks an ache already, but he cannot bring himself to care.
Those moments they shared. They are binding him to Kurt already with a force, a vehemence that is so utterly thorough, that some part of Blaine wonders if that can even be appropriate after such relatively little time that they've known each other, or even at their young age.
All other parts of him snort at that. Appropriate, really Blaine? Just dive in, will you, it's not like you have a choice after all, like, a real one. You're in already, head over heels.
Blaine's attention suddenly seeks another place to settle on, other than Kurt's breath on his shoulder, because that sensation actually bears the potential to lead to something, well, compromising, a voice inside warns warily.
Blaine's hand twitches.
Their hands on the covers have disentangled over the night. Blaine wriggles his fingers, to find that even if they were not immediately touching, Kurt's hand is still so close to his, that he brushes warm and smooth skin in the movement.
How can hands be that soft, really? Blaine himself takes reasonable care of his skin and manicure, and he surely has no working man's hands, but Kurt's are an altogether different category of tender to the touch.
He follows his impulse and reaches into the hollow of Kurt's loosely curled fingers, to stroke an own tentative finger across Kurt's palm. Kurt sighs in his sleep.
Blaine wonders if he would be able to write out his full name into Kurt's hand before he would wake him. He chuckles at the idea and himself. What are you, Blaine, seven?
But the thought is way too tempting.
Was that a stir?
When he sets his finger down to start the A, Blaine sees Kurt's lashes flutter open in the corner of his eye. Blaine holds his breath, and for a second he thinks the moment might pass.
But then Kurt starts to shift in a languid stretch a little away from Blaine, and halts, as if the movement and its friction brought the other boy in his bed into his awareness only now.
And then his eyes are open. Blinking. Heart be still.
Now Blaine can see Kurt's face. And he reluctantly thinks to check his own expression a little, because, of course, that smile is there again and way to vivacious and bright for this hour of day, and he doesn't want Kurt to think he has woken up to a madman, after all.
Blaine's voice sounds a little rough at the edges, but Kurt mirrors his smile all the way, stretching again, and maybe bringing his hands up to his hair purely accidentally in the same course, checking by feel, brushing strands out of his forehead, that have dared cling to there.
Blaine's heart skips another beat, when Kurt draws out a raw throaty syllable in answer.
"Mhmmmm. How long have you been up?"
Blaine's look drops to Kurt's chest, but can't manage to stay away from his face for more than a second.
A shrug. Nonchalant voice.
"Not long. Just now." Kurt's amusement shows, and Blaine falters.
"And I've not been. Staring at you, I mean."
"You mean like now."
Blaine's eyes close in embarrassment only shortly.
"Yeah, like now. Only now."
Kurt's face scrunches up in a grin as he rubs his face, but if it is that or something else, that brings the colour to shine there once more now like so often, Blaine can never know.
Once Kurt moves his hands away, Blaine impulsively leans in for a kiss. Kurt's eyebrows shoot up, but his eyes fall shut, and it is not more than a prolonged touch of closed lips feeling each other's warmth, as Kurt does not deepen the kiss, and Blaine doesn't push.
It still leaves both of them beaming at each other shyly.
Then Kurt moves to get up.
"Let's hit the bathroom and then I'll make us breakfast."
Blaine reaches for Kurt's arm and holds him back, head slightly tilted, unwilling to leave the cosiness of the moment and the covers already.
"Come on, Blaine, I'll feel more up to the morning when I'm all fresh and clean and moisturized..." Kurt offers a half-wink at the end of it, but Blaine can hear some shy sincerity as well.
"Why, you're perfect..." It sounds light and unbothered.
"Blaine." Kurt draws his name out with a light eye roll, but in a fashion that is tinged with embarrassment. He tries to get up once again, a smile on his face but eyes not meeting Blaine's and Blaine let's him go.
Blaine chuckles to himself. It really is just a notion that flashes: How he does admire the hell out of Kurt, like only last night, his courage, his strength, greatness and grandness, his poise and composure... to then be reduced to a giggling love-struck teenage mess when Kurt is being vulnerable, human, and imperfect like that. Like now.
Imperfect in the best of meanings. When he gets a little shy and self-conscious and insecure.
There is a muffled knock at the door, and immediately following it opens slightly and they can hear Finn's frantic whisper.
"Blaine? Man, are you up? Have you seen..."
"You can come in, Finn, I'm here." Kurt stands across the room where he had just been at the drawers of a cabinet getting some fresh towels for Blaine and him.
Finn has opened the door enough that Blaine can see his face fall a little at Kurt's voice, and a surge of heat rises in him, before rational thought reminds him, that they both are here with permission, and really not doing something forbidden. No need to feel caught. But something about Finn's scandalized expression... Blaine's hand comes up to hide his grin in a casual gesture.
"Dude, what if Burt caught you in here...?" Finn is now moving towards Kurt, whose eyebrows are raised above a glare that's something between bored and annoyed. Blaine has to hold back another chuckle. He didn't know Finn had that much drama in him.
A side glance to the bed seems to distract Finn's attention and his eyes grow wider: "Have you two been here together all night?... You really got a nerve..." At that Kurt grabs his stepbrother roughly by the arm and drags him out of the room, cussing with subdued fury under his breath.
"Finn! Calm down, will you? Dad knows and nothing went down in here!"
Blaine can still overhear what they are saying, as they only stepped outside the door, really.
And he can as much as see Finn's facial features fail him even more, in his imagination.
There is a short pause, in which Blaine thinks he actually hears thoughts working.
"Wait, he knows? But... but that's not really fair then, I mean, I... I am not allowed..."
Ah, so maybe that is where the drama did stem from, Blaine muses.
And he bets Kurt is counting to three inwardly until he bursts out, still managing a restrained tone:
"It was a one time thing okay, I had to promise nothing would happen and not that it is any of your business, but nothing did."
Finn seems to be processing that, since there is another moment of silence, that Blaine's mind uses to marvel once more at the simple truth of what led them here.
Surely Burt couldn't have been thrilled at the thought of his 16-year-old son spending the night in bed with another boy, but he obviously has faith in Kurt's judgement and promise.
And he is right to have that, but Blaine has seen how protective Burt Hummel can become and what a strict course he sometimes takes when it comes to his understanding of his role as a father, and doing right by Kurt.
In Blaine's opinion he does a pretty amazing job. Even more so now with trusting Kurt with this decision and trusting himself to have raised his son to make the right one.
And if it was only for tonight for now, so what? It still impressed him. Because Blaine would really have understood if Burt had said no.
"Well, what did you want from me anyway, Finn?"
Kurt's question brings Blaine's attention back to the conversation outside the room. Kurt's tone is still strained but obviously offering peace.
Finn's voice is a shrug.
"Nothing much, I just went to your room to tell you that I was heading out to Quinn's place, and with all that happened yesterday and all the talking that I will have to do, I probably won't make it back for lunch, so in case you wanted to cook, I wanted to let you know...but you weren't in your room, so I checked..."
His tone changes again, colouring up, thought recurring: "Why, dude, what do you mean, nothing happened, I... hey, what base are you guys on anyway, I mean..." Something hitches inside Blaine.
"Oh, I'll so stop talking to you now, Finn."
Blaine stifles a laugh.
His face twitches at the mental picture of Finn standing, cut short with his mouth open and arms hanging by his sides, and Kurt turning dramatically on his heels.
"Yeah, goodbye, Finn!"
Repeated for punctuation, sounding somewhat cheerful but utterly final.
"Take care. Say hello to Quinn. Drive safely. Off you go."
Kurt's voice actually moves away and trails, and then Blaine can hear the bathroom door and Finn's muttering something, followed by his reluctantly retreating footsteps.
Blaine blows out his breath. He likes Finn well enough, Kurt's stepbrother means no harm, after all, but he seems to have an undeniable talent to put his foot in it with Kurt. Yet Blaine knows there will be no hard feelings, there never are. It is only their dynamic of handling each other, really.
Still snickering, Blaine grabs the towel Kurt has thrown onto the bed for him and slips into last night's pants.
"Kurt? Can I come in and brush my teeth, too?"
Blaine hears a short rummaging from inside, then Kurt opens the door, toothbrush in his mouth. He looks Blaine over and something flickers in his eyes that Blaine can't exactly place, but when he steps in and catches his own reflection in the mirror, he has an idea what it might have been.
His stunning ensemble of dress pants, bare feet, that plain and crumpled cotton shirt, rounded off by the way his hair sticks to his head in places and out in others... That really had to hurt Kurt's sense for fashion and aesthetics in general.
Yeah. Must have been that.
He puts the towel aside, splashes some water in his face, and runs some fingers through his hair. That doesn't bring the result he has hoped for, so he abandons the mess on his head with an inward sigh, takes up his toothbrush from last night, puts some paste on and gets to work.
When he looks up their eyes meet in the mirror and Blaine catches Kurt staring at him. He glances to check if he has foam running from the corner of his mouth, but he's fine.
"What?" He forms the word around the toothbrush and combined with his eyebrows rising up that must have presented Kurt with quite a sight, because he evidently stifles a laughter and then hurries to rinse his mouth.
Then Kurt's eyes resume their contact and when Blaine raises another questioning brow, he falters. "Nothing really, I..." As the words run dry Kurt shifts and his features turn thoughtful.
He tries again, but doesn't seem to find a satisfactory way to say what he wants to. Still he a assumes a light matter-of-fact tone.
"Blaine, I... I don't want you to think... it's not like I wouldn't want to kiss you, or something, I mean, without having brushed my teeth, it's..." Kurt looks down as Blaine is sure his own eyes widen.
"It's got nothing to do with you, I just like it better that way, when I feel cleaner and my mouth isn't so dry..."
Kurt stops short at that and frowns, but adds hurriedly: "But it's not like I'm obsessed with cleanliness or something..."
He seems to give himself an inward glare for blabbering or maybe blabbering about that, and obviously decides to rather scrub at his teeth some more than speak on, eyes ever so slightly flickering to Blaine, who is sure that now he's the one kind of staring.
Blaine almost stumbles over the words. "Sure... I mean, I guess I'm the same."
He is actually, but he forgets so easily to mind with Kurt. But that's just what Kurt is saying, isn't it? It's not that you do mind it with each other so much, it just is simpler to be confident when you're comfortable with yourself.
Kurt still looks a little torn about his words. A strand of his hair has come loose again over the intent scrubbing and falls into his forehead.
Suddenly Blaine feels another broad smile on his own face as his body acts on impulse.
He grabs Kurt's wrist and he probably would have kissed him with the toothbrush still in Kurt's mouth, but when Blaine's purpose dawns on Kurt, instinct lets it slide out just before Blaine's lips close on his.
Kurt just stands transfixed.
But his mind must catch up eventually, because then Kurt almost sputters out the toothpaste lathering in their mouths, as he bursts into laughter against Blaine's lips.
Blaine can't help but join in and moves his face back a bit.
Their eyes meet then lock.
The breath drawn in through Blaine's mouth feels chilled.
Must be the menthol, his brain provides tardily.
Blaine blinks and sees that Kurt is still holding the toothbrush in a loose grip next to his face.
Then Blaine leans in again, slow enough to give Kurt time to pull back, but Kurt doesn't.
Tastes of mint mingle on their tongues and lips, and Blaine swallows and wants more of that and when he sucks ever so slightly on Kurt's lower lip, he feels Kurt chuckle deep in his throat.
Blaine stops to look at him, only to realize he has brought up his own hands to cup Kurt's face.
He retreats with a smile, which probably looks nothing less than drugged, Blaine assumes.
Must have gotten a little carried away.
Kurt takes a step back and turns to put his hands on the bathroom sink, for a little support, maybe, after he has gingerly put his toothbrush in its holder. He connects their eyes through the mirror and he smiles with everything about him.
Blaine takes a deep breath, and reaches for his own toothbrush that he must have dropped into the sink somewhere along, but he can't quite recall when. He puts it away as well.
He watches as Kurt's lids close shortly, and Kurt's head tilts to the side.
"Blaine?" A bracing of breath.
"There's another thing I want you to know... I think..."
Kurt eyes grow big in a gaze at nothing in particular for a moment, like he is not so sure about that last part and much less about going on. Yet resolution flashes across his face.
"Blaine, just because I manage to somehow pull it off to sleep with you in a bed..." - Kurt mutters 'twice' under his breath then continues -
"...without having... "
A near cardiac arrest? Blaine mentally fills in.
"... I mean, without doing... "
Now Kurt's face is positively flushed and he falters.
"Well I just want you to know, that that doesn't mean that I don't ... I mean, that I'm not... because I am. Very."
At the last syllable Kurt lifts his face up to look at Blaine in the mirror again, chest heaving a little and eyes restless.
Blaine is positive that it is his turn to stare again, mouth ajar, for sure.
He really thinks he knows what Kurt is trying to say here, but it is more a feeling he relates to than something he himself could put into words.
God, he hopes he reads Kurt's meaning correctly, here.
"Um...me, too?" It actually sounds like a tentative offer, or a question, and the expression on Blaine's face must have displayed something slightly tinged with desperation and horror, because he sees it mirrored in Kurt's face, just before both of them freeze.
Then they crack up.
Kurt laughs so hard there are actually tears in his eyes, and Blaine feels something loosen in his chest with each wave that ripples through him.
Kurt comes up for breath with a playful eye roll at himself, still snickering. "My, listen to me. Listen to us."
Then his entire demeanour alters to something different and Blaine watches in awe, even if Kurt is probably not even aware of himself.
"You know what I want to say though, do you?"
Kurt now faces Blaine directly, his stance steady and voice firm with honesty. Blaine feels himself connect immediately to the change.
He actually gets quite a little light headed, breath hitching in his throat, pitch unusually high.
"Yes. Yeah, I guess."
Kurt smiles unfathomably for a moment rather to himself then to Blaine.
"Good." He brushes his hands off at his pajama pants, then resumes a venturing tone, voice soft.
"Good. But anyways, with my Dad and in general... you know."
Kurt just lets it hang there and Blaine is again not sure if he catches Kurt's meaning. He assumes this is Kurt saying something like 'not today, probably not yet tomorrow, neither'. And Blaine is fine with that. So he decides to just go with his instinct.
"This was nice."
Now it is Kurt who brings his chin up in questioning.
"This." Blaine elaborates. "Last night, I mean."
Kurt lowers his eyes his lips twitching.
"Yeah, a little awkward at times..." Kurt smiles at Blaine's tilted head, but leans in a little, and reaches out, "... but yes, it was nice. Very much so."
Blaine sighs and takes Kurt's hands in his. Honest, unafraid Kurt. And as if he had heard that thought, Kurt blushes.
Blaine takes a last deep breath in which he thinks he can trace the scent of Kurt's expensive face cream. And beneath Kurt's very own.
He tugs at Kurt's hands.
"So... what was that about breakfast?"
* Title taken from the song lyrics of the Maccabees' song 'Toothpaste Kisses'... Didn't want to use the song title as chapter title, because that would count as spoiler, right;)?
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