AN: *waves* So, this is another Camp sick!Wilson fic…this time it's for flywoman 's Child's Play challenge. Also, it has srsly_yes 's latest secret word: ALLERGY, or a derivative, of it, anyway.

In the same universe as "Disquietude" but you don't necessarily have to read that to understand this.

In this AU, House and Wilson got together after "Out of the Chute". :-)

Nothin' to Cry About

James Wilson has to avoid the urge to wince as he hears the sound of a door slamming shut and the heavy thump of House plopping his jacket and back-pack on the floor by the door, like he always does.

However, when House limps further through, closer to the living room, and spies the company Wilson has tonight, he can barely hold in a smirk at House's comical expression of horror. Huh, it is a good thing Wilson didn't tell him ahead of time, or House never would have come home.

"Hi, House!" Rachel chirps, waving a hand at him.

House turns a glare on Wilson.

"Am I hallucinating…please?"

Wilson snorts. "Want me to pinch you to find out?"

"That's dreams, moron."

"Sorry. You're not doing either."

"Okay, well, I think it would be better for the over-all sake of my sanity if I was, since you're sitting on the living room floor with a baby playing…" House looks at what's in Wilson's hand and grimaces. "Please tell me that isn't Go Fish."

"Not a baby! I'm four!" Rachel pipes up, cheerfully. House glares at her and her little smile doesn't waver.

Wilson does smirk, this time. "Yeah, House. She's four."

"If you love me," House says with an earnest expression on his face that almost makes Wilson laugh again, "…you would call Cuddy and tell her that you have an emergency and she needs to come get her kid."

"If you love me," Wilson retorts, "Then you would get your stuff from in front of the door so someone doesn't kill themselves over it."

"Sorry, I'm only mildly fond of you," House answers. He leans down for a light kiss, but lingers just a little longer than necessary. When he leans away, he looks around. "Where's the cat?"

"Sarah," Wilson says pointedly, because even after almost two years, House still refuses to call her anything but 'cat.' "-went to go to sleep…somewhere comfortable."

"The kid was so annoying it went to hide?"

"Yeah, that too." Wilson says quietly, but House hears him and smirks victoriously. Wilson rolls his eyes and asks Rachel for fours.

You know," House continues, limping back toward the kitchen, presumably to raid the refrigerator. "I thought I'd gotten to be rid of watching…It, when Cuddy and I stopped dating. I forgot you're a sucker."

"Don't know how you could forget that…you tell me often enough. Cuddy had a business meeting with a potential donor, and her sister was busy. Her mom…well, don't think I need to explain that. So, she asked me to baby-sit." He coughs. "Last week."

House's head pops out from behind the freezer, a fudgsicle halfway to his mouth. "And…you forgot to tell me?"

"Sure," Wilson answers, giving his two sevens to Rachel. "Let's go with that."

House huffs, popping the fudgsicle in all the way. "Dinner?"

"Chinese is on the way. I'm sure it will be here by the time you're finished with your before- dinner-snack."

"You're trying to bribe me. This is also a brand new box of these," he responds, waving the nearly empty stick at him.

Wilson tilts his head. "Is it working?"

"It will be tonight, when we get rid of her," House leers. Wilson rolls his eyes as he lets Rachel win her second game. He watches House's back as he retreats to their bedroom, and he shakes his head with a smile, since he knows that any attempt to chastise House for the innuendo with a child in the room will just make House's barbs ever dirtier.

"One more?" He asks his opponent.

Rachel nods enthusiastically and they begin again.

Five minutes later, there is a knock on the door. "House," Wilson hollers. "Can you get that?"

"You're closer!"

"Fine, then come keep an eye on Rachel!"

"You're closer!"

Wilson releases an exasperated breath and stands up. "Come on, honey," he says, grabbing her under the arms, settling her on his left hip and going to the door, dodging House's jacket and back-pack lying almost right in front of it.

"Thanks," he mutters, handing the delivery guy the tip and closing the door. Realizing it's going to be a little hard to juggle his charge and the food, he turns to set her down. Once he does, he grabs her hand, dodges House's crap, again…

…and falls right to the floor.


"Medial malleolus fracture," Chase says, holding the films up for them to see. House takes them from his grasp impatiently and looks at them before looking back at Wilson, whose sitting on the bed, the right leg on his jeans rolled up, and his swollen ankle elevated on a spare pillow.

"You tripped over the cat."

"I know. I was there. You could have driven less like a maniac on the way here, by the way," Wilson retorts, trying to stave off House's sure mocking of him for a second longer.

"There was crying."

"Rachel was a little scared, House. At least she wasn't hurt."

"I wasn't talking about her."

Three seconds. That's a record for House. "I was not crying!"

"So the tears running down your face-"

"Boys!" Cuddy cuts in. Both of them turn to her in surprise, apparently having forgotten she was there. "Don't you think this is a bad time for you two to bicker like this?"

House gives her a look that blatantly says Don't you know us at all?

"It would be if Idiot here wasn't allergic to not being stupid, and could watch where he was going," House snaps and Wilson glares as he opens his mouth for his own retort.

Cuddy shifts her sleepy child on her lap. She knows that House is concerned…she remembers briefly Wilson's sudden bout with the flu a few months ago, when House had been nearly unbearable, running every test imaginable. And Wilson has been dealing with a concerned/antagonistic House with his probable broken ankle. So, she knows she could give them a little leeway.

Except that both of them are beginning to make her head pound, which, unfortunately, isn't an uncommon occurrence.

"It was an accident," she says loudly, succeeding, for the moment, in shutting them up. Thank God. She lowers her voice and says, "Look, everyone's fine. There's no crying-"

"I wasn't crying," Wilson mutters. He backs down when Cuddy shoots him a look. "Sorry."

Cuddy sighs and turns to Chase. "Does he need surgical treatment?"

"No," Chase answers. "And I'll go get the materials we need for a short-leg cast."

"There, see?" Cuddy says, gesturing to Wilson, as Chase slides easily out of the room, as though he's glad to get out in one piece. "Just stay off of it for six weeks and you're good as new."

Cuddy watches House's gaze move to his own fingers resting on top of his cane, his eyes drifting to Wilson's ankle, surreptitiously, as though he expects something bad to suddenly happen to it, but he doesn't say anything. He starts to turn the cane around in his fist and Cuddy inwardly smiles. Some things really don't change.

She turns her head and sees Wilson looking at her, a knowing smile on this face, but he smothers it quickly, before House sees it and gives a little shrug.

"Well," she says, standing up, and going over to kiss Wilson's cheek. "I think it's time I get her home and into bed, and let you get some rest. Thank you for baby sitting."

Wilson smiles and tickles Rachel's stomach, laughing with her when she giggles and tries to get away. "Of course. Anytime."

Cuddy smiles back and turns to plant a kiss to House's cheek, too. He looks at her and she wonders if she imagines the crinkling of the corners of his eyes in a kind of smile. She decides to let it go.

"Night, guys."

"Goodnight," They say simultaneously.

As she turns back after closing the door, she smiles when she watches House shake his head and say something. Wilson throws his head back and laughs, before House leans down and kisses him.

With an exasperated sigh, and a smile turning up the corners of her lips, she lays her cheek down on Rachel's hair and walks down the hallway.

When she meets Chase at the elevators, she warns him that he may want to hold off for at least another half hour.


Wilson leans back from the kiss and rubs a thumb across House's cheek. "You know, this could have happened because of your stuff in the hallway."

"Except that it happened because you're a cat and kid magnet," House counters. "How you've managed to keep that diabetic thing alive this long, I'll never know."

"I'm not entirely sure either. Guess I'm just that good."

House snorts and Wilson grins. "You know," he continues. "We could compromise. You know, on the cat, kid, and you leaving your belongings in the middle of the hallway."

House looks at him and blinks. "Because compromising is what I'm best known for."

Wilson shrugs. "It happens. Rarely, but it does."


"Well," Wilson says quietly, leaning forward and whispering a kiss against House's mouth. "There was the other were very, very compromising."

House tilts his head, as though he's thinking about it, and regards Wilson suspiciously. "You're manipulating me."

"It's not manipulating if you know I'm doing it."

"I suppose you could see it that way," House says slowly.

Wilson grins. "Not stupid after all, huh? You're trying to decide if you're going to let me get away with it."

House shakes his head. "Turn your mind reading powers off, will you?"

"No mind reading powers," Wilson says, with a kiss to his jaw. "Just House-reading powers."




Wilson rolls his eyes. "If I admit I was crying will you shut up about it?"

House stares and Wilson chuckles. "Just thought I'd ask."

"Yeah, well, I have decided that you can manipulate me all you want," House declares mischievously.

Wilson blinks in surprise. "That was easy….what's the catch?"

House kisses him again, and shrugs. "I suddenly realized that I get a good thing out of this too…watching you hobble around on crutches is gonna be awesome."