This is my new baby. I must warn you, E is in fact, marrying Tanya. Don't worry, it gets better. I hate her too. This will be entirely BPOV. If you're good, you might get EPOV as an outtake.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did, we would have had sparkly peen. I'm just sayin'.

Chapter 1

XXX - The Wedding - XXX

The first time I laid my eyes Edward Cullen was at his typical June wedding to my ex-co-worker and friend, Tanya Denali.

Tanya and I had the typical work-friend relationship. We hung out, talked boys over lunch but never, ever really socialized on evenings and weekends.

Now, talking boys with Tanya usually basically meant that she would discuss in detail her sex life while I listened intently and took mental notes. At the time, my sex life was non-existent and bordering nun-hood. I was pretty close to just saying the vows and admitting myself to a convent, the only thing stopping me was the fact that they would probably frown upon my use of Mr. Perfect, my vibrating buddy.

I spent my weeks working at trying to further my career and my weekends dedicated to some well deserved me-time and hanging out with my best friend Alice and her new boyfriend Jasper.

My co-workers and I weren't even Facebook friends. See, I don't "friend" co-workers. Ever. So, with my only social life being limited to the people I work with and my small circle or friends and family, I keep to myself. A lot.

Now, being that busy and socially unavailable meant that I was perpetually single, by my own fault of course. It wasn't that I hadn't had the opportunity to date, I just preferred not to. The endless string of ass holes and losers out there was pretty unappealing. Well, that's unless you count my last two "relationships" which would probably be described as one night stands by most. Both merely consisted of drive thru dinners and quick-almost-satisfying sex, usually ending with me getting the heck outta dodge and not answering their phone calls.

It's not that I'm not into relationships, I just didn't have the time or energy to invest into these guys, giving me a love 'em and leave 'em reputation.

Alice just called me a man-eater. I like the nickname, even if it doesn't even begin to describe me. It does, however, keep the rift-raft away.

Alice is my best friend, and miraculously, we both work at The Voltury Goup, but in different departments. She is one of my Facebook friends, after all, we have gone through college together and have maintained a friendship even during those few years spent apart doing our own thing.

Having Alice on that infamous friend list made refusing everybody else from work kind of hard, but I digress, Facebook etiquette be damned. I do not need the rumor mills flying around about stuff I do on my weekends.

This all explains why it took a year and a half for me to finally meet him.

It also explains why I was single and dateless while attending a friends' wedding.

None of my recent acquisitions seemed good enough to mingle with my work peers, and I didn't want my worlds colliding any more than they had to.

Alice had offered to bring one of Jasper's friends for me, but I refused to be a pity date. Jasper was a doll and all and he knew me well enough to find someone good for me, but I just couldn't risk breaking one of his friends. Knowing myself, I would definitely let that happen. Reputation and all.

On the beautiful June day in question, the air was warm and humid in Seattle. The blue taffeta dress I had chosen seemed to wrap itself around my body and cling to me like second skin, making my curves stand out in obvious ways.

I had spent so much time fidgeting with my dress and hair that I barely made it to the Chapel.

I was the last one to walk in before they closed the doors to begin with the ceremony. I quietly took the first empty seat I found in the back pew and tried to go unnoticed to everybody else already seated.

Within seconds of my sitting down, the wedding march started echoing in the beautifully decorated chapel and everybody stood and turned towards the back of the church. I followed suit.

The detailed dark mahogany doors opened to reveal a flawless Tanya on her father's arm. She looked perfect. Her thick honey colored hair was pinned up with loose tendrils falling on either side of her face, her eyes sparkled with something I had never seen before and her white custom-made Vera Wang dress hugged her curves beautifully.

This day was the embodiment of months of meticulous planning. Our lunch dates had sometimes consisted of discussing color samples and cake tasting. Her fiance, Eddie, had proposed over a year ago and she had been planning this day ever since.

She looked so happy, she looked like she was glowing. I couldn't help the little pang of jealousy brewing in the bottom of my stomach. Thankfully, it quickly passed and I settled with plastering a loving smile on my lips while I watched, teary eyed, as she made her way to the front of the church.

When her father made his grand gesture of lifting her veil to finally give her away, my breath caught in my throat as the groom sauntered over to them and took her hand.

He was absolutely gorgeous. A God embodied, standing next to her wearing a black tux and a smile that made my insides turn to mush.

I studied his face closely from where I was standing, noticing his angular jawline and piercing green eyes surrounded by long dark eyelashes. Tanya was one lucky bitch.

My memory flashed to all of the deprived sexual scenarios that Tanya had talked about and my panties dampened. If I had that to go home to, I'd definitely be defiling some of my self imposed never-gonna-attempt sexual depravities. I'd let him fuck me twelve ways to Sunday if he wanted to.

I think I hated Tanya a little bit right at that moment. Well, the green eyed monster had suddenly made an appearance and was subtly sending me a friend request.

Meh, po-tato, po-ta-to. Whatever.

I tried to concentrate as they recited their vows but all I could do was stare at him. His soft velvet voice droned on about the meaning of love and life while I swooned and melted a little.

When he looked at her, he smiled like she was the embodiment of perfection. I guess she was. Tanya was beautiful. Her blond hair, blue eyes and statuesque figure made her look almost as God-like as he was. I should be so lucky. I mean, I'm not ugly by any means, quite pretty actually, but my short stature, brown eyes and hair make me look plain compared to Tanya.

No wonder she was able to catch his eye.

Through my ogling of the groom, the ceremony went on without a hitch. The applause as they were declared husband and wife broke me out of my reverie long enough to see them kiss. It broke me and made me jealous a bit more with every second that passed.

The guests started to make their way out of the church to the reception hall next door. I followed suit, discreetly looking around for some of our other co-workers to mingle with.

I noticed Alice and Jasper in the crowd and waved to Alice. She waved me over to their table.

By the time I got there, Tanya and her new husband were standing with Alice and Jasper. Then, to my surprise, the groom picked up Alice and swung her around in his arms.

Seems my "best" friend had some explaining to do.

Alice and Tanya, to my knowledge, didn't know each other well enough to be this social with one-another. We all worked in the same building, along with about 350 other people. Tanya and I worked side by side in the design department while Alice worked in accounting so I was shocked to see the new husband with Alice in his arms. I wondered why she got to hug the Greek Adonis while I stood back and watched.

I though I was close enough to Tanya to at least get to shake his hand. What the hell.

"Bella, you made it!" Tanya cooed and gave me a smile as I finally reached the table.

I offered her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how lovely the wedding was. She introduced me to Edward, who I had always thought of as "Eddie". When he shook my hand, the shock of electricity that passed between us made my breath catch in my throat. I died a little inside knowing that I could never have him because being that close to him, he was even more beautiful than in the church. I gaped when I looked up into his eyes and had to look away. The attraction I felt for him was all wrong considering his new wife was standing right there.

I never believed in love at first sight. I had always thought of men as what they were. A superficial species loosely needed to procreate. Not something that I absolutely must have in my life. Not something I needed to make myself feel good. I had Mr. Perfect for that. So when I saw Edward Cullen for the very first time, to say that I had been thrown off of my rocker would have been a mild approximation.

I finally plastered a fake smile on my lips and let go of his hand. The electric current I had felt on my skin from his touch went away as soon as our hands separated.

I was left wondering if he had felt that too.

I stepped back to stand next to Alice and gave her another quick smile as I fidgeted nervously with my overly-clingy dress to get my head out of my ass long enough to recover from the shock of seeing such a creature in real life.

I made a deliberate effort to snap myself out of it and make small talk with them until Tanya and Edward were whisked away by other family members and well wishers.

"What the hell was that?" Alice whispered into my ear.

I furrowed my brow and gaped at her "What are you talking about?"

"That, you and Edward" she pointed at me and swirled her little finger around while narrowing her eyes. "it was weird. You looked at him like he was something to eat." She whispered conspiratorially.

"No I didn't." I shook my head at her insinuation. "Why was he hugging you?" I finally asked trying to change the subject.

"He's my cousin." She said with a smirk. Shit. I was jealous of his family. Now my man eater reputation might be a good thing since this feeling of jealousy made no sense what so ever.

"How come you never told me?"

I would have expected her to tell me she had a hot cousin. I didn't have any cousins but you'd think it's something that would have come up. Maybe. I think?

"Didn't come up. We were close when we were kids, now he just hangs out with his family once in a while. He's been with Tanya since High School and is usually with her inner-circle, I just thought you knew." She explained.

"I'd never even met him." I pouted little and shuffled my feet.

"I was certain you had." She smiled at me and shoved me playfully. Trying to get me out of my obvious gloomy state.

"Trust me, I would remember meeting him." I muttered under my breath, shaking my head, while we both took our seats at the table.

The reception flowed effortlessly. Tanya's meticulous planning went off without a hitch. I drank too much and hung out with some of our other co-workers that had showed up and Alice and Jasper of course.

Throughout the evening, I made sure to stay away from the groom, knowing full well that in my state, I would defile him in some way, shape or form.

At some point in the evening, with music blaring over the speakers and alcohol clearly flowing in my veins, I contemplated crawling under the table of honor and giving him a blow job. It could have been a last minute gift. I could have explained it off to Tanya as such. That would have worked, right?

With that thought, I excused myself from Alice and gave my last congratulations to Tanya. I then quickly ran outside, haled a cab and went home. Getting outta dodge as quickly as I could. Trademark Bella Swan.

My bed was warm and welcoming. Mr. Perfect was sublime, and as usual, waiting for me on my bedside table and making me cum while my mind settled on images of the groom.

Thankfully, Tanya and I didn't socialize much outside of work before the wedding and would probably not do it now anyways so my chances of interacting with the object of my depraved imagination was slim to none.

Or so I thought.

AN: Thoughts? give me some feedback, I'd love to hear how much you hate Tanya...

As usual, a big thank you to my FFn besties, WitchyVampireGirl and Scrimmy, you girls rock my world!