Love At First Sight

…Because pick-up lines are so overrated.


Kisame was ready.

Oh yes, he was fucking ready.

The blue fish-man had been practicing in front of the mirror, practicing my suave walk, working on his 'hypnotising' hip movements (even though it was anything but hypnotising, at least, in a good way), testing out his flirty winks and studiously ignoring Deidara and Hidan pounding on the door and demanding that he get out of the only bathroom in the whole base because they had to 'fucking take a fucking piss, Jashin-damnit!'.

Yeah, whoever designed the base to only have one bathroom was a fucking idiot. Seriously.

Pain blamed it on the alcohol.


Back to the story.

Kisame was fucking ready to take on the world! He looked good (well, as good as he could possibly get). His words flowed out smoothly and without a hitch (except for the occasional crack in his voice). His pick-up line was amazing and absolutely flawless (never-minding the fact that the said pick-up line just turned out to be a big flaw in on itself, as Kisame would find out later).

And now, all he had to do was actually use his suave and hypnotising walk, deliver the amazing pick-up line and wait for the outcome.

Hopefully Itachi wouldn't use his Magekyou Sharigan on him.

And so, Kisame walked by the kitchen and saw Itachi sitting there, eating a plate of dango, before he backtracked, stopped at the doorway of the kitchen, stared at the brunette for a long while before jumping out of his skin when the Uchiha asked monotonously, "Are you just going to stand there and stare, Kisame?"

Kisame cleared his throat before he attempted to walk sexily to the table. But he just ended up stumbling and tripping over his too-long legs. Turning an interesting shade of purple, Kisame stuttered out some kind of poor excuse about how the floorboards were uneven before noticing that Itachi didn't seem to care about his klutz move and that he was just staring straight ahead while continuing to chew on his treats.

Bracing himself, Kisame cleared his throat. "Itachi?" The blue-tinted man asked warily.

"Hn?" Ah, the ever present single-syllable answer. Not exactly reassuring at the moment and Kisame began sweating even more. Curse the cheap deodorant! Kisame knew he should've bought the five dollar one instead of the three dollar one, but nooo, Kakuzu had to go and be his usual cheap-ass self.

…but then again, the picture of Kakuzu skipping about and handing out wads of cash because he felt generous was kind of a disturbing image…

"Hn?" Itachi asked again, but more forcefully. Oops, Kisame had been spacing out again.

"Ah!" He quickly scrambled to fix his mistake. "Itachi-san, may I ask you a question?"


"Um…" Kisame cleared his throat before he forced his voice into a deep, husky, sexy baritone sound, and prayed to every God in the world that his voice wouldn't crack in the middle of the sentence, before he asked, "Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by you again?"


"Kisame, you foolish fool! I'm blind!"

"…Oh, um, well… do you believe in love at first…sound? Or should I…speak again…?"



"Shut up."

"Shutting up…"

"…And yes, I do believe in love at first sight."


A/N: Oh dear Jashin, that was soooo fucking bad.

But I couldn't help myself. :D


Lots of chocolate,