Because Of You

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of One Tree Hill.

Couple: Deb/Karen

Authors Note: Decided to make a songfic multi-chapter for this couple, which considering it is one tree hill this is suitable. The songs will all be Kelly Clarkson, and the one in this chapter was actually in a scene of the show when Brooke was in New York with her mother, but it fit this chapter. :)

Rating: M


Booze, pills, fire, and a kitchen floor. Separately none of these were deadly, but all together at once could prove to be fatal for a certain blonde mother. The truth was she did not want to die, she simply had nothing left to live for. Her son had been turned against her, her ex-husband had betrayed her and shoved in her face that she was never the one that he had loved and that he had made a mistake. Worst off he was currently trying to get back together with Karen, she was just too damn naïve to see it.

The hardest part of it all was that she loved Karen. That she was jealous of him, the man who consisted of nothing but evil, the man that was on the way to dinner with the beautiful brunette while she downed some more pills between drinks of alcohol sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Her head was growing fuzzy and her heart was slowing in pace as she could feel her end.

She hated herself for doing this knowing that it would only give Dan the satisfaction that he craved, he wanted her to kill herself over him. That would only stroke his damn ego.

Are you there?

Are you watching me?

As I lie here on this floor.

Propped up against the kitchen cabinet she stared down at her phone trying her hardest to dial the number despite her blurred vision. As difficult as it was, she finally succeeded and held the phone to her ear.

'Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring.' The phone loudly rang through her ears causing her heavy head to pound and shoot agonizing pains throughout her body. Not a patient person she ended up throwing the phone as it reached Dan's voicemail. Hoping the phone hadn't turned off when it slammed against the kitchen floor she screamed out, voice slurring from intoxication, "I fucking hate you! You always get everything! And what the fuck did you do to earn it! You are the fucking devil himself!"

Even though if she were thinking rationally she would have known that he could not hear her, currently all rational thoughts were thrown out the window.

They say you feel what I do,

They say you're here every moment.

"God damn it." She mumbled under her breath as she felt the need to vomit becoming increasingly more difficult to ignore, she hated how it felt, but knowing it would be over soon soothed her aching body. Deb would never have to see the disappointed blue eyes of her son who hated her, or those cold eyes of the man she had given her life to in marriage, nor those child-like beautiful eyes of Karen looking at him with love.

Those brown eyes should have been looking at her with love, but they weren't. No one ever looked at her with love. She had gone through rehab, she had done everything that her best friend had told her to do, and what did it earn her? An empty house.

"Just take me already!" The blonde screamed out to the ceiling hoping that some higher being would hear her and take her life. She was tired of being alive. It was too hard and she did not have the strength any longer.

Will you stay?

Stay until the darkness leaves?

Stay here with me.

Her body was starting to grow numb and tingle as she slumped even more to the floor, no longer able to hold herself up as her head spun and she finished off the bottle of whiskey she had been drinking before throwing the bottle at the oven shattering it into a million shards of glass that spread across the floor.

I know you're busy, I know I'm just one,

But you might be the only one who sees me.

The only one to save me.

Deb's brown eyes had fallen shut from heaviness as well as to cure the dizzy sickening feeling she was having. She was waiting to fall asleep and never wake again. When suddenly a ringtone filled the kitchen, echoing off of the walls and bouncing back to her ears. Eyes snapped open at the sound, it was not Dan calling. She had set individual ring tones for each person in her life, and this was Karen, why was she calling her?

Though the blonde did not know the reasoning behind the call she knew she wanted to answer the call. As she tried to stand her body grew heavy and she fell back to the kitchen floor smacking her chin against the tiles, she could not feel it.

Opting for dragging herself toward the phone instead of walking she slowly made herself toward the ringing phone hoping that it would not stop, just as she reached it and opened it the ringing stopped. The brunette she had loved for some time now had hung up. For at least a minute brown eyes stared at the open phone reading over the missed call warning and looking at the picture of Karen, tears falling from her eyes as she willed her to call back.

Why is it so hard?

Why can't you just take me?

I don't have much to go,

Before I fade completely.

When Karen's ring tone loudly started to play again throughout the kitchen the blonde nearly jumped, she had been hoping she would call back and perhaps even save her from her misery, but she had not expected her to actually do so.

Clicking the green button that signaled answering the phone she held it up to her ear and tried to speak as soberly as possible, but her voice came out slurred and her words did not make all too much sense to the brunette on the other end.

"Hey there gorgeous, 'bout time ya called. S'was getting worried."

"What? Deb? Are you okay? Dan said you called him and left him a disturbing voicemail, he said you sounded angry and drunk."

"I feel just fine."

Karen let out a sigh of relief even though the blonde did slur her words, it was not a sin to drink, and it would not kill her friend if that was all that it was.

"In fact, I can't feel a thing." She mumbled before adding "Maybe it was the pills, or perhaps the booze." After saying this she laughed slightly sadistically, at times Karen thought that the blonde may have been driven mad by the man she was currently out with.

She had gone to the bathroom when she heard that Deb had called sounding strange, she cared a lot for the beautiful woman, she had to do something to help. "Deb, I am coming over."

"No! No. Karen, I'm fine. Enjoy your 'date'." She said the word date with a lot of spite in her voice.

"Date? Is this why you are doing this, you think I would date him again after everything?"

"Isn't that what you are doing?" Deb asked feeling considerably more sober as anger filled her body and tears filled her eyes, she could feel her body giving out and her heart slowing down. Soon she would be gone and the world would be a better place for everyone.

"NO! Deb, no. Please, stay awake, drink some water, I'll be over in a minute." Before the blonde could say anything else the brunette had hung up the phone and started to call the police.

Can you feel how cold I am?

Do you cry as I do?

Are you lonely up there all by yourself?

Like I have felt all my life.

Deb was now sobbing uncontrollably as she curled up on the floor, she felt hot and cold, and she was shaking as her heart was slowing more and more each minute. She could hear sirens but they seemed distant, her foggy mind making them seem only like a dream.

The door to her house opened and she felt her stomach twist as she was lifted from the ground and placed onto something hard. She could no longer think, she was no longer conscious enough. The last thing she heard before drifting into blackness was Karen's voice. "Deb, stay with us. Please, I need you." The blonde could feel a soft hand in her own as her body was moved.

Then all was black.

How are you so strong?

What's it like to feel so free?

Your heart is really something

Your love a complete mystery.

Brown eyes stung with tears as Karen looked down at her closest friend as they wheeled her toward the ambulance, she would not leave her side, she would hold the others hand until they reached the hospital. How could she have allowed this to happen, she knew that Deb needed her and she went out with Dan? But, Deb had grown so unpredictable and had been acting irrational lately, it was too hard to watch over her always.

Still, she blamed herself as tears rolled down her cheeks and she climbed into the ambulance with her dying friend. Reaching out with her free hand she ran her fingers against the blonde's mascara stained cheek. Even now she looked beautiful.

Do you cry, do you cry with me?

Cry with me tonight?

Are you there?

Are you watching me?

When they reached the hospital she was informed she was not allowed to go in with Deb, she had to wait outside, but before she let them wheel her away she quickly said goodbye. Leaning down she kissed the top of the blonde's head before whispering. "You better not leave me."

The only one to save me…


Authors Note: This will be a multi-chapter fic, and though I know it is not a popular couple it will end up being Karen/Deb romance! Please review if you want to read more! If I get enough reviews I will totally add another chapter very soon!

-Tracy Cook