This has nothing to do with the season storyline...
Not sure if I plan on making it a story or just leaving it as a one-shot.
I sit here and think...
Why's he left me here ?
Was I not good enough for him ?
Did I do something wrong ?
And here come the water works
I don't know what's worse...
Him leaving me here.
Or not knowing if I did something to offend him.
Yeah that's right. I'm on death row on a strange planet and i'm worried about him.
He has that affect on people, my Doctor
I miss him, I miss him so much;
The way he holds my hand as we make a run for it.
The way he says my name that makes it sound so damn special.
I've been here for 6 weeks slash forever!
And to be honest i'm not even sure if he's coming back for me.
But he will, right ?
I love him, I choose him, I gave up everything for him.
I gave up my life in Leadworth - All though it was a really boring life, Still not the point.
But I dropped everything for him, My life, My job, My friends, My family, My Fiance.
I choose him.
But did he choose me, or did I make that choice for him...
It's ok to have a voice in your head, for you and that voice to have arguments. But when you lose to that voice... Then my friend, you have a problem.
I want to believe that he's going to save me, we're going to travel again, and everything will be fine and we'll be happy.
But deep down, I know that he's not going to, I believe i'm going to die here, he's not gonnna' come and rescue me, and this is my punishment for believing in a mandman and his box.
I lie down slowly, wanting the crying to stop.
If I am gonna' die here, I need to be strong, I need to be brave, I can't be scared.
The cold floor hits my skin.
My tears just won't stop, maybe i'll die from a broken heart..
That happens right ?
The heart takes too much stress and then you recieve a shock and boom!
It stops working..
Or is that just an easier option ?.
I close my eyes, and dream of him.
I imagine him crashing through the cell door and telling me to stop crying.
I can actually hear his voice.
"Pond we're leaving" He'll tell me.
And i'll jump up and hug him, and then we'll fight what ever monsters we have to face.
And we'll go back to the T.A.R.D.I.S. The End
Except when I open my eyes.
The door's still in tact and he's nowhere to be seen...
'Don't give up, he's coming for you' the voice in my head tells me
Maybe if I ignore it, it'll go away.
'You know he will'
"I'd rather die" I scream out loud.
The agony of being in the cell gets to me once again, and I start to cry once again
I'm sick of tears, they show your weakness, they show that you need somebody.
"I am not weak" I yell.
"I don't need him" I yell again.
He doesn't need me.
We're fine without each other.
I hope I never see him again.
I stand up barely managing that. I charge to the door, adamant to get out.
"Atta' girl, Pond"
I stop my assault on the door.
His soothing voice, the one i've wanted to hear for so long, I hear him.
I turn to the and I turn the handle.
And it opens, i've tried that so many times and now it works!
I don't want him to rescue me.
I'm not a damsel in distress.
This is not a fairytale.
You're not my prince, you're the curse.
I open the door fully and run.
Run like i've never run before.
I turn corners, one after another.
I turn another corner and see him.
He's in a large, old room with the monsters that took me.
I stand there.
"Doctor" I whisper
He continues talking with the monsters, like they're his friends. Like he hasn't seen them in a while and would rather catch up with them than save me...
They took me, he should be yelling at them, making them fear their own lives.
They took somebody he's supposed to love, what the hell is he doing.
He turns slowly and sees me.
"Pond" He walks towards me with his arms out stretched.
He gets closer to me. too close
I back away from him.
I don't want his warmth,
I don't want the smell of fish fingers and custard.
I don't want him !.
I see the smile on his face disappear.
"Amy" He asks.
As if this is not the real me, I would never do that to him,
He's right, I wouldn't but he doesn't deserve my love. Not now; Not ever.
I want to cry again, Damn it, why am I so emotional, I was never like this, I never cried.
I want to kill him,
He moves closer to me so I take a step back
"Amy, please" He begs
"Stay away from me" I ask.
He looks hurt, Good. He sould be hurt; He should be in pain...
"Please, Amy we need to talk" he asks
I've never been an angry person but at this moment I want to explode.
I hate him, He acts like this is ok.
"No, i've been gone for six weeks, i've cried so much, i've cried my heart out, I've missed you, I loved you" I stop to calm myself down.
I look at him, he looks hurt as he hears me say 'Loved' Yeah that's right past tense
"I loved you, but you didn't love me... and" I can't think anymore.
My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I hurt
I look down on the floor that's starting to move away from me, Either that or i've grown 20 feet while i've been yelling at him.
I continue to stumble out words like;
I feel like i'm falling,
My body refuses to work with me.
I can feel myself fall,
I brace myself for the impact, but it never happens.
I open my eyes, then close them quickly. The lights are far to bright, what are they trying to do blind me ?
I open my eyes again, and they seem to have gone dimmer.
I moan as I turn on my side.
The floor isn't as cold as I expected.
I open my eyes fully and he's there.
Sat at the side of me, on a chair.
He's looking at me
His legs are crossed and his head is leaning on his upright left arm.
I moan again and he smiles at me...
What the hell does he want.
Why is he here ?
Wait. why is he here in my cell...
I look around the room, this is the T.A.R.D.I.S
I try to speak " Go... Go Aw..ay"
He laughs at my attempt.
I can see him smiling, I do love that smile of his... No I don't !
I want to tell him where to go but a pain in my stomach stops me.
I can't breath...
I can see his smile fade and I watch him stand up and move closer to me.
He looks worried, why is he worried ?
He should be worried when I get a hold of him...
He reveals a syringe and places it into my stomach.
"God, make.. It... Stop" I beg him
He emptys the contents in to my stomach and pulls the syringe out.
He stands close to me, just looking at me.
"What's wrong with me ?" I whisper
He looks at me, our eyes meet, blue mixed with brown.
I want to laugh, then I remember..
The six weeks in the cell... did they. Oh god did they do something to me while I was asleep, did they drug me. Oh God my baby's going to have six heads and four arms or something...
He sees my face, he knows i'm panicking, he strokes my hair with his soft warm hands and then slowly places a kiss on my cheek.
"Amy, it's mine" He tells me.
What... How does he know that.
Is he happy about that ?.
I look at his face and he can't help but smile, his teeth are showing. He used to smile all the time, it's contagious his...
Oh God i'm pregnant...
I push him away from me,
I slowly sit up and dangle my legs from the hospital bed in the T.A.R.D.I.S
"How far along am I ?" I ask him
He smiles at me once again " Four months"
"Why did it take you" He interupts me.
If I was him, I really wouldn't try to annoy me...
"So long to find you"
"Amy, Amelia Pond. I couldn't find you... I tried everything and then a few days ago, I was at my lowest point ever and then she helped me"
She ? Oh that's great i'm pregnant with his child. And he's wandering the universe with another women.
"She ?" I ask calmly.
He points to me, or rather my stomach
I watch him smile, and look down at my stomach.
"It's a girl" I smile at him
He nods "Yeah, we're having a little girl"
"How did you know?"
"Her voice, she told us both not to give up, she found me, she helped me find you"
I was shocked, the little nagging voice in the back of my head, the one I had arguments with...
Was my unborn daughter.
"You gave up on me, didn't you ?" He asks
"Yeah, I did. I didn't think you wanted me. I thought you left me there to die, I though i'd forced you into a relationship and that you didn't love me so you left me there as my punishment" I tell him honestly
He looks shocked by my words,
"Amy, I love you and our Daughter with all my hearts. I would never leave you to die, ever. You mean so much to me. you are all i've ever wanted and now I have you. I would never let any harm come to you or our Daughter, you both me too much to me"
I can feel the tears in my eyes, they sting.
I don't want to cry anymore, i've cried to much.
He takes a step closer and wraps his arms around me.
And here come the waterworks.
Shall I write more ?