One evening in the Castle That Never Was, Xemnas went into his second–in–command's room and was surprised to see that he wasn't there. "Saïx?" He asked, and got no answer. 'He's not here…? I know that he went on a mission today, but he's usually back by now. I hope he's alright. What am I saying? Of course he's alright! He's one of the strongest nobodies I've ever seen, but…' Xemnas looked up at the moon and thought, 'It is getting close to the new moon, so Saïx is getting weaker.' Xemnas then went to Saïx's desk to see if maybe he had left a note or something saying that he went somewhere after his mission, but… nothing.

Xemnas sighed and sat down in the desk chair. "Why am I so worried anyway? …Am I just afraid of losing him?" He asked himself, and at the thought of losing his beloved second–in–command, he felt a tinge of pain where his heart should be. Xemnas stood up, and when he did, he accidently knocked over a pile of books that was on Saïx's desk. He bent down and picked the books up and put them back where they had been. He then noticed the little black book on top of the others.

Curiosity ended up getting the best of him and he took the book and flipped through the pages. On the pages were entries written in a very nice handwriting, and Xemnas knew what it was. "Wait… this is Saïx's journal." He then looked around to make absolutely sure that no one else was in the room before he opened the pages and read the latest entry.

Dear Journal,

Today everyone came into the round room for the organization's weekly meeting when everyone gives a report on their progress for that week. I hate meetings. It's not that they're boring; in fact, they just make my job easier. Before the superior started the weekly meetings, I had to tell everyone to hand in the progress reports to me, and I had to go through them. No, the reason I hate these weekly meetings is the fact that every time we have one, I can never seem to take my eyes off the superior! I have no idea why, or how, but I am simply infatuated with him!

At reading that part, Xemnas' jaw dropped. 'Saïx is infatuated with me? How come he's never said anything?' He thought and continued reading, needing to know more.

I didn't always feel this way for him though; when I first came into the organization, I saw Xemnas as a hero of mine… you know, someone I could look up to. Although, over the years, I've noticed that the admiration has turned into adoration. If I ever told him how I "feel" though, he'd probably just laugh at me or call me an idiot; he'd probably lose all respect for me.

Oh, but how I wish that I could have him, even if it's only for a single night! Just one night! I want him to let me kiss him, touch him, feel him! I want to be close to him, closer than anyone ever has been, and closer than anyone ever will be again! I want him to make love to me, I want him to tell me that I'm his, I want him to tell me that he loves me! I need to hear those words from him… I need him to whisper those words to me with that deep, passionate voice of his.

I know that it will never happen, but how I wish it would!

The journal entry stopped there, and Xemnas couldn't move, or even breathe for that matter. He simply sat there, frozen, holding the journal in his hands loosely. That was until, he heard a portal open and quickly hid the book behind his back just as Saïx walked through the portal and noticed that Xemnas was sitting there.

"Superior?" Saïx asked, tilting his head to the side. "What are you doing in here?"

"Oh, I…I just came to see if you were back from your mission."

"Well, I am now."

"So I see. Was it hard?"

"No. I just had to take the long way a couple times."


"So… I'm guessing you're here to tell me when you want to see the report?"

"Oh, yes… I'll need it by tomorrow morning."

"Of course, Superior." Saïx said, expecting Xemnas to say 'alright' and walking out, but he didn't move. "…Is there something else I can help you out with?"


"Then, uh… can I ask why you're still here?"

"Why? Want me to leave?"

"No, of course not. I mean… you don't have to. I was just wondering." Saïx said and headed into the bathroom connected to his room.

Xemnas took this as his chance to put Saïx's journal back, but Saïx came back out to grab something when he was.

"Xemnas? What are you doing with my journal?"

'Shit! Talk about being caught with your hand in the cookie jar!' Xemnas thought and turned around to face Saïx. "Uh… I was just… putting it back."

"Putting it back? You had it?"

"When I came in here, I accidently knocked your books over."

"You didn't… read it, did you?" Saïx asked, nervously.

Xemnas decided to pretend that he hadn't, just to see how Saïx would react. "Why? Is there something written in here I should know?"

"No!" Saïx cried. "I mean… it's nothing that you should concern yourself with, Superior."

"Oh really?" Xemnas asked, grabbing the book.

"Superior, really… you don't have to–" Saïx started, but Xemnas started reading the first paragraph of the last entry.

After he read it, he looked at Saïx, "Infatuated, huh?" Saïx just kept his head bowed, blushing. "Maybe I should read the rest." He said, and after he did just that, he put the book back and walked over to Saïx. "You really want me?"

Saïx still had his head down, and he was covering his face in shame. "I knew I should have torn that entry out as soon as I wrote it."

"I'm glad you didn't."


"I said…" Xemnas repeated as he got even closer to Saïx, "I'm glad you didn't."


Xemnas pressed a finger to Saïx's lips, "Call me Xemnas." He said, his deep voice coming out in a purr.

Saïx felt a shiver crawl up his spine from Xemnas' tone, and he desperately tried to hide it, but unwillingly, his body shivered. He shut his eyes tightly and blushed a deeper shade of red, embarrassed about losing control in front of the man that he has been in love with for years.

Xemnas chuckled deeply at Saïx's reaction, enjoying every moment. "You want me so bad, you're shaking." He said and started placing kisses on Saïx's neck, at times licking and sucking it also.

"X…Xemnas?" Saïx panted out.


"W…What are you doing?"

"Giving you what you want." Xemnas said, and he started playing with the zipper of Saïx's organization coat. He then stopped and pulled away a bit, looking Saïx in the eyes. "Say, you were just about to take a shower, weren't you?"


"Would you like some company?"

Saïx's eyes went wide, but he nodded. So he was led into the bathroom by Xemnas. When they were in there, Xemnas shut the door and told Saïx to strip, so he did. He did it slowly to tease Xemnas a bit, if Xemnas was going to have fun with this, so would he. After Saïx finished taking off every article of clothing he had on, he saw Xemnas start to unzip his coat, but Saïx stopped him. "Wait… may I?" He asked.

Xemnas nodded, "Of course, my beautiful diviner."

Saïx blushed at being called 'beautiful' and he unzipped Xemnas' coat then slid it off him, revealing a well muscled, tan chest.

At seeing the look on Saïx's face, Xemnas chuckled again. "Like what you see?"

Saïx nodded, "But I want to see more."

"Then finish undressing me, I'm not going to stop you."

Saïx then took Xemnas' gloves off before kneeling down on the floor and taking his boots off also. He then stood back up and placed his hands on the top of Xemnas' pants, but that's where he hesitated.

"Something wrong?" Xemnas asked.

"No, I just I can't believe you're actually letting me do this. I…It's literally a dream come true."

"You've dreamt about this before?"

"More than once."

"Really? What does the me of your dreams do?"

"Kisses me."


Saïx blushed and answered, "Everywhere."

"On the lips?"

"Yeah… especially there."

"Like this?" Xemnas asked as he placed a hand on the side of Saïx's face and kissed him deeply, sliding his tongue inside and stroked Saïx's.

Saïx moaned into the kiss and stroked Xemnas' tongue back, the two tasting each other. When Xemnas broke the kiss, Saïx said, "Yeah… exactly like that." He then noticed that his hands were still on the top of Xemnas' pants, so he quickly undid the belt and zipper and pulled them down.

"Ready for some shower fun now?" Xemnas asked, and Saïx nodded, so Xemnas went over to the shower and turned the water on, making sure it wasn't too hot or too cold. He then turned to Saïx and picked him up, bridal style, bringing him into the shower.

After Xemnas put him down, Saïx turned around and wrapped his arms around Xemnas' neck, kissing him. "I love you, Xemnas." He whispered.

"I love you too."


"Yes. You seem surprised. I wouldn't be doing any of this if I didn't love you back." Xemnas said and kissed Saïx. "You're mine." He purred.

Saïx shuddered again, but this time, he didn't try to hold it. "How I've waited to hear that."

Xemnas smirked and pinned Saïx against the wall of the shower, kissing him deeply. He then pulled away, but still stayed close enough that their noses were touching and they locked gazes, orange eyes staring into yellow. "Do you want me, Saïx?" He whispered.

Saïx nodded, "Yes, I want you so much. I have for a long time."

"Good, because I want you too." Xemnas whispered and kissed Saïx as one of his hands went in between Saïx's legs and he slipped one of his fingers inside him.

Saïx broke the kiss and gasped as he felt Xemnas' finger move around inside him, trying to stretch him a little. "X–Xemnas." He panted.

"Does it hurt?"

"No. It feels… sort of strange, but not painful."

Xemnas kissed Saïx's neck and whispered, "Good. I don't want to hurt you, my beautiful diviner." He then slipped another finger in and began moving them in and out.

Saïx gasped and instinctively began to thrust onto Xemnas' fingers, wanting more, which got a chuckle out of Xemnas. "Please…" Saïx begged, needing to feel more than just Xemnas' fingers.

Xemnas nibbled on Saïx's earlobe and teased, "Hm? Please what?"

"Please…" Saïx practically whimpered, "I need… more…"

"More what?"

"More… of you."

Xemnas chuckled deeply, "Well, why didn't you just say so?" He whispered and took his fingers out and replaced them with something bigger. He slowly pushed the tip of his erection inside of Saïx. He immediately wanted to thrust himself completely into the tightness and heat, but knew that if he did, he could seriously end up hurting him.

Saïx cried out when he felt Xemnas entering him and he grasped Xemnas' shoulders, his claws digging into the skin, and Xemnas hissed. "Xemnas… more." Saïx whispered, and Xemnas gladly obliged. Pretty soon, Xemnas was fully sheathed inside and he paused to let Saïx get used to it. When Saïx was ready, he let Xemnas know by bucking his hips and letting out a long, throaty moan.

Xemnas chuckled and pulled out of Saïx almost all the way before he slammed back in, and moaned at the feeling.

After a few minutes, Saïx felt his release coming on, fast. "X–Xemnas, I'm going to…" He tried to warn, but he just couldn't form a complete sentence. Although, Xemnas understood what Saïx was trying to say and he grasped his erection, pumping it in time with his thrusts. Saïx couldn't take it anymore and with a scream of Xemnas' name, he came, spilling his seed onto them.

Not even a minute later, Xemnas slammed into Saïx one last time and growled his name as he filled him. They stayed in that position for a minute or so before Xemnas pulled back and carefully unsheathed himself.

Neither of them said a word to each other, words weren't necessary; they knew what the other was thinking.

Xemnas took the showerhead and washed them both off before he turned the water off and helped Saïx out of the shower. He then grabbed a towel and dried them off. He then picked Saïx up again and brought them back into his room, and he laid him down on the bed before crawling in next to him. Xemnas gazed into Saïx's eyes; like before, words weren't necessary. Xemnas gave Saïx a kiss before they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Saïx woke up from his sleep and he looked around the room; he was alone. "Not another dream! This is not fair!" He whined like a kid being denied candy.

Just then, however, Saïx's door opened and Xemnas walked in. He was wearing a blue robe and was holding a glass of water. "Oh, Saïx, I didn't know you were awake."

"I…I just woke up." Saïx answered.

"Sorry if I woke you. I was thirsty, so I went to get a glass of water." Xemnas said and he took a sip of the water. He then put the glass on the nightstand and crawled back into bed next to Saïx, wrapping his arms around him.

'I guess that wasn't a dream.' Saïx thought happily and cuddled into Xemnas' chest. "Superior…?"

"I told you, Saïx, call me Xemnas." He whispered.

"Xemnas…" Saïx whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"So… this isn't just a one night thing?"

"Of course not. Trust me, there are going to be many more nights like this."

Saïx couldn't suppress a smile and he kissed Xemnas. "That makes me happy."

"Good. I'm glad you're happy." Xemnas said, and yawned, "Good night, my beautiful diviner."

"Good night… my handsome superior."

Xemnas smiled and they fell asleep once again, fully happy and content.


I know… the lemon sucked! I really am not good at writing lemons! I love to read them, but writing them… not one of my strong suits! I am truly sorry if I let any of you down with this story, but I really felt the need to write this! I started it yesterday, and was working on it all day, but I couldn't finish it until today.

NICE REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY! …Not nice reviews make me emo.