"River, I don't believe a word of it," Jack said.

"It's true. Hats. Any kind you can imagine, as long as they're impractical," River said.

"And he calls you Mrs. Robinson?" Jack grinned.

River rolled her eyes.

Jack just grinned harder. "The old hypocrite, cradle robbing you like he does. Dirty old man."

"Actually," River said with a hint of satisfaction, "He's a very clean young man."

"Oh, rub it in, why don't you?" Jack complained.

"Oh, I do."

"I just bet you do." Jack looked at her out of the corner of his eyes, his curiosity getting the better of him, "Does he like it?"

River just gave him a cat-with-the-cream look.

Jack glared at her, half envious, half turned on. "You are a dangerous woman Professor Song."

"Why Captain Harkness, are you just discovering that?"

(For more stories click on "betawho" above.)