A/N: Okay, who hates me for leaving you all off where I did? I know I'd hate me too, if I was reading this. Oh, wait. I am. Bad Skye! Oh well. Next chapter should be full of fun stuff. I'm going to be doing some Misa bashing, so I hope you don't mind.
Sorry for taking so long… I was recently promoted to leader or Project:Books on Warriors Wiki, so all my time has been spent editing on there. I also have some personal issues going on. School's done, so I shouldn't be real busy for a loooooong while.
Also, thanks yet again to Elly for reviewing3 And thanks to everyone else that reviewed. I love you all, and you're what keeps me writing.
Chapter 4 – Listen to Your Heart
L knew this was what he wanted to do. From the moment he laid eyes on Light, there was something in L's perspective that had changed. It didn't matter that he was different, and that Light was the perfect example of a model student. L knew that something was changing within him, because this was something that L had never felt before.
'Is this what they call emotions? Am I human after all? Do I have emotions for Light-kun?'
As he thought this, L's mind began to swirl. It didn't matter to him that Light tried to push him away. Nor did it matter that L knew this was wrong. He was a guy, and he was supposed to love women, not other guys. Watari had told him that he should follow his heart, but how could he do that when his heart longed to be with another male?
"Light. Go shut the door. Don't say anything. Just do it. Try and keep it down though – you never know who's prowling around, like Matsuda." L told Light, hoping that he would listen, and not thing another word about it.
As Light got up, L wondered to himself as to what Light was thinking. Did he even think about L in the ways he thought about him? Was it even possible for someone like Light to think of another man? He had Misa, although she was such a stupid blonde, that L wondered why in the world he could even go near her. 'I wonder, is it possible for someone to catch stupid from another person? I may have to look into that.'
L got up, following Light, but making sure that he wasn't heard. He wanted to sneak up on Light, and surprise him. Although he wasn't sure how Light would take it, L was going to try anyways. He wanted this, he wanted to claim Light as his own. He didn't want Light to be Kira, because for a long time, L had loved Light. He thought that the only way to get his message across…was to do what he did next.
"Okay, Ryuzaki-" L wouldn't bear Light talking anymore, so he did what he felt was needed to get him to shut up. Light flinched as L's kiss grew deeper and more passionate. This was what he wanted, and it didn't matter to him that Light could possibly reject him. All he wanted was for Light to accept him the way he was.
If Light didn't want this, he sure as hell wasn't showing any signs of trying to pull away. In fact, it seemed that Light was trying to pull L even closer. L could feel Light's hand, ruffling his hair, trying to grip it. It seemed as if Light didn't want L to stop. This moment, however fleeting it may have seemed, didn't last long, and no more than a second later, L was pulling away from Light – the look in his eyes was full of joy.
"Ryuzaki…?" Light asked after a moment or two of complete, awkward silence. "What…was that…?" Light was stunned that he had even been kissed. It seemed that there were many other words that wanted to be said, but L and Light both couldn't find the courage to form them into words.
"Light-kun. I was experimenting. I just wanted to see what kissing someone of the same gender seemed like. It doesn't mean anything, nor will it ever. If you have a problem with how I am, then please leave. Let me be myself, as I think I am just fine the way I am. Is it that hard to accept me?"
Light backed away. He must have had no idea that L was how he was. If he did know, he would have ignored him. There was nothing that anyone could say or do that could change L's way of thinking. He had been like this for years, and will always be like that, regardless of what anyone said.
"L… I never said that I had a problem with it. But I just wish you would have warned me beforehand. What would have happened had Misa walked in here?" Light tripped over his words, not really sure how to phrase it, so he just spoke what was on his mind.
L laughed. It was a genuine laugh. "Do you honestly think that I give a shit about Misa? As far as I'm concerned, if I really gave a shit, she would already be locked up for being the second Kira. The matter at hand is still finding the first." L paused and added "Plus, I can tell you really don't care for her as much as she does about you. Why are you even around her when all she does is cling? Yeesh. I really don't know who's stupider, Misa or Matsuda."
Light looked at L. "Are you serious? You can actually see that? I thought my acting was good enough. I guess nothing can fool you, can it?" Light's eyes gave that away before he had spoken. He knew that there was really no point in arguing.
"Nothing can fool me. Acting. Emotions. Lies. Light, nothing you say or do can fool me. I am, after all, the world's three greatest detectives. Don't you remember that? You would think you would know that by now, seriously Light." L smirked and stuck his tongue out at Light. Oh, how he loved to mock him. It make L feel…superior. It made him feel on top of the world, honestly. Like no one could bring him down.
Light scoffed. "Please tell me you're kidding. There's no way in hell you could be that smart. I don't give a damn if you're the world's greatest dectective-"
"Light-kun, that would be the world's three greatest decitives."
"Anyways, as I was saying. I don't give a damn. Although you are right, Misa doesn't matter at all to me. Second Kira or not. I know she wouldn't kill me though. She's too obsessed with me. Ugh." Light cringed at the thought of Misa. He didn't care for her at all. Not. One. Bit.
This was something L had guessed from the start. The distant looks whenever Misa would come near him. He even flinched when Misa would come near him. L thought that was odd at first, but then he realized that not all men are comfortable around women. "I know she wouldn't kill you, but, Kira might. How do we know Kira and the second Kira aren't working together? There's something about Misa I don't like, and the fact she's always around you and is suspected of being the second Kira doesn't help."
Light looked at L. He was acting weird. Although Light knew better of L, he couldn't help but ask "L, what the hell are you getting at, and what is wrong with you?"
L laughed, something he didn't do often. 'How it's taken you this long, Light, I'll never know. I've been implying something from the start...but you're too oblivious to even get the point.' L's laugh got even louder as he tried to take hold of what Light was asking. Light just looked at him. He wasn't happy, and his eyes showed annoyance.
"Haha. My goodness. That was funny. It's been years since I've laughed like that. Light, there's nothing wrong with me, per say… But, there is something I'm getting at. Light." All of the sudden, his voice turned serious, and his gaze grew cold. "I'm jealous of Misa, seeing her spend all this time with you. But, I'm also scared that I might lose you, with her being the second Kira, and all. After all, you're very smart, and you've been nothing but help in regards to the Kira case."
Light looked shocked. How could L be jealous? He didn't even know L had any emotions up until today. "L, how in the world can you be jealous? I don't even care for Misa. I never have, and never will. If you wanted to spend some time with me, why the hell don't you ask? I mean, really. We spent all that time chained together, and not once did you even bring up hanging out. I realize that you are a detective, and your welfare and safety comes first, but, aren't you allowed to have a little fun?" Light asked, being quite serious.
"Well," L started, grinning. "do you really want to know?" The grin on his face got even wider, and the expression on Light's face was priceless.
"Yeah, actually, I do."
'If this is what they mean by listening to your heart…dammit. I really don't like this…' L thought for a moment, then stepped away. "It's because…." He was going to speak, and then stopped himself. 'Wait. How do I go about this? For all I know, Light might not even care…and this may come back to kick my skinny, white, sugar addicted ass in the end…'
Light looked at L. He had stopped himself mid-sentence, and Light was getting annoyed. "L…what the hell? You say you're going to tell me something, and then you just stop? Is there something wrong with you? I mean, honestly."
"Light-kun there is nothing wrong with L. L is just figuring out the right way to say this, so he doesn't seem like a stupid fool."
"Okay, how could talking to me make you seem like a fool?" Light asked. He was confused. What could L be talking about?
"Do you promise not to repeat anything you hear here outside of this room?" L answered Light's question with yet another, like he usually did.
"Of course. When do I ever say stuff I shouldn't?" Light retorted, quite annoyed. He figured that it wasn't all that important, since L kept dodging the matter.
"I'm jealous of Misa…because I've been in love with you since the day I met you."
Light just sat there and started. "L…are you being serious?"
A/N: Hmm… I can't help but think I should work more on this. Don't you all? =P