"Are you in bed? Can I Slytherin?"

"Malfoy? Is that you?"

"Possibly, Harry. So…?"

"No. No, you may not."




"We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you're still charming."

"Malfoy, we are in Professor Flitwick's class."

"Oh. "

"And thank you. Ginny likes my charm, too."


"You know, Harry, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus."

"Well, Madame Maxine is still here, so I suppose you're right."

"No, Harry, I meant…"



"Wow. That is big."

"I know. I'm proud."

"…Are you sure you didn't use Engorgio?"



"Did you survive Avada Kedavra? Cause you're drop dead gorgeous."

"Draco, I did survive Avada Kedavra, remember?"

"...You called me Draco."

"I'm calling you an idiot."


"Are you using Confundus or are you just naturally mind blowing?"

"Are you going to stop using pick-up lines on me anytime soon?"

"It depends; will you go on a date with me?"


"Then no."


"Did you use Lumos? Because you've lit up my world."

"For Merlin's sake, Draco!"

"You know, Merlin and I have something in common. We both have a big stick."

"I know."

"…you know?"

"You showed me, remember?"

"Ah yes…"


"Want to see it again?"


"I might as well be under an Imperius, because I'd do anything for you."

"Does that include leaving me the fuck alone?"

"…are you okay?"



"Draco, please go back to bed."


"Your bed."



"My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood."

"Merlin's pants! Not now, Draco, you scared me!"

"I don't know about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours."

"Look, Dray, there's a troll on the second floor we need to take care of and…"

"Do you want to learn to speak troll? Because I can get you grunting in no time."

"And not only that but there's a lone Dementor on the loose…"

"If you were a Dementor, I'd turn into a criminal just to get your kiss."

"If I promise to go on a date with you would you shut up?"

"If you wanted…oh. Yes, please."


"You stood me up!"

"What? Draco, what are you talking about?"

"We had a date! And you weren't there!"

"…Oh. You were serious about that?"

"Yes I was fuckin' serious about that! Merlin, Harry, I've been serious from the beginning! If you didn't want to you should've told me no!"

"Draco, I did you no! I'm going out with Ginny!"

"…Fuck you, Potter. Have fun with the Weaslette."




"Come on, Draco, I'm sorry!"


"For Merlin's sake, Draco! Please, just talk to me? I have something really important to tell you!"



"I'd appreciate it if you left now, Harry. It literally hurts to be around you."

"Draco, this is really important."

"Fine. If you won't leave, I will."


"Have you heard of Platform 9 and 3/4? Well, I can think of something else with the exact same measurements."


"If I were to look in the Mirror of Erised, I'd see the two of us together."

"Look, Harry…"

"My love for you burns like a dying phoenix."

"…What? Did you just say…?"

"Draco, I love you. And I'm sorry for standing you up and acting like I didn't care and being with Ginny."

"Y-you…um, what?"

"And I broke up with her. For you."



"Give me a second, will you? I think my heart stopped."


"I hate you."

"No, you love me, remember? Now pucker up!"

"I'm not going out in public like this, Harry!"

"But…you look pretty."

"I look like a girl."

"That was the point! You know, coming out flamboyantly."

"…fine. On one condition."


"Let me put my basilisk in your chamber of secrets?"



"…was that another pick up line?"

"Possibly Harry. So…?"

"No. No you may not."