Tequila Mockingbird


A/N: Vincent is most likely OOC in this fic. But it fits the purpose, so deal with it and stuff. This is meant to be a fun story, not a terribly serious and absolutely in character fic. Sorry about that. ^.~

A/N2: This hasn't been edited yet. I'll fix it later, okies?

Disclaimer: Squaresoft own them all. (Jerks!) Jell-O owns Jell-O.

Disclaimer2: Tequila Mockingbird is a song by Vanessa Mae. I'm just borrowing it a little for this fic. The song Yuffie sings in the shower is called "Embrasse Moi (You Fly Me Up) and it's also by Vanessa Mae. I have no idea what the words mean (I'm assuming it's French) so pardon me if I write anything dirty in here. I really don't mean to. ^_^ The NEXT song that Yuffie sings is ALSO by Vanessa Mae (can ya tell I'm a fan? ^^) and is called "I Feel Love". It's in in English, so don't worry, I know what I'm writing. Now, on to the story!


A sharp rapping directly in front of his nose snapped his scarlet eyes open and his claw to lash at the lid that concealed his enemy.

A loud crack was the next thing that entered his senses, followed by a flash of pale skin and hunter green. That, and a string of obscenities that would have made Cid Highwind a proud man indeed.

"I tink you oke by dose, Valentwine!" a very disgruntled and on the floor Yuffie Kisaragi said waspishly.

"Yuffie?" Vincent asked, clearly surprised to see the young ninja sitting at the floor of his coffin. "What are you doing?"

"Nursding da dose you oke!" she snapped, stormy eyes glaring at him.

Vincent mentally shook his head. "I mean, what are you doing here?"

Yuffie sniffed indignantly, seeming to get her voice back somewhat from the nasal sound her "broken" nose had reduced it to. "Making sure you keep yer ass outta dere!"

Vincent raised an eyebrow. Yuffie hit the floor. Vincent raised the other eyebrow. Yuffie looked at him. If looks could kill, Yuffie would make sure everyone stayed alive for a long time. Her death glare wasn't doing much except hurting her eyes.

"Why?" Vincent asked pointedly.

Yuffie sniffed. "You'll turn into a real vampire, and then I'll have to watch my neck, not just my materia."

Vincent's expression turned amused. "Which one of us the the materia thief extraordinaire, hmm?"

"Shut up. I'll still have to sleep with a towel around my neck at night, now won't I?"

"I hardly think a towel would stop me, Yuffie, but I'm not going to turn into a vampire. You should leave."

"No way!"

"Why not?"

"I'm...er, we're all worried about you. I mean, you haven't even spoken to us in over a month!"

Vincent sighed, not liking the pouty look Yuffie's face was taking on. "What do you want me to do?"

Yuffie's stormy eyes lit up and she grinned a pretty little grin before grabbing his hand. "ComestayatKalmwitheveryoneforawhile!" was all she said, Vincent not being able to understand a word of it, before dashing out the door with him. She continued to dash up the steps, out of the cellar, through the hallway, out the front door, through the gates and outside of Niblehiem where the gold chocobo Tsuna waited.

Hopping onto the chocobo with her death grip still on Vincent's hand, Yuffie clicked her tongue and spurred the chocobo into speed. Vincent, still not on the bird, could either be dragged or hop on and trust Yuffie to not dump him in the ocean.

Vincent was sorely tempted to let himself be dragged.


Tsuna arrived at Kalm with a chipper Yuffie and a rumpled looking Vincent. Tifa and Cloud were there to greet them.

"Vincent!" Cloud said.

"You noticed?" Vincent asked dryly.

Tifa wrapped Vincent in a don't-you-try-to-get-away kind of hug, which he desperately tried to get away from. People were not his forte. Meanwhile, Yuffie was bouncing around happily, shadow boxing at the air and eyeing Cloud's materia. Vincent sighed.

The air in Kalm was hot. Really hot. Yuffie tore off her black denim jacket like it was a sin she had been trying to rid herself of for years. Vincent looked at it, recognizing a fine piece of craftsmanship when he saw one. That jacket had obviously been bought (or stolen, knowing Yuffie) from Cosmo Canyon. You just didn't find perfect works like that anywhere. He hoped Yuffie knew what it was and was careful with it.

She threw it in the bushes.

Sighing and smacking himself on the forehead with his good had, Vincent removed the jacket from the bush it had landed in and followed the company to Tifa's new bar, Mako Eyes. Everyone who knew her knew where the name came from. Everyone who didn't thought she was odd but mixed a good drink. Either way, people ended up happy and thoroughly drunk. All's well that ends well.

"Vincent, how long are you planning on staying in Kalm?" Cloud asked.

Vincent almost choked on the tequila Tifa had brought him. Stay? He had to stay? Yuffie hadn't said anything about that. At least, Vincent didn't think so. Her words had been a little too blurred to tell.

"Um, I suppose..."

"Great! We can set up a room for you at Yuffie's place. She's got a guest bedroom, I think. I'm surprised she stayed here instead of Wutai, though..."

"I'm not," Tifa piped in, both blissfully unaware of Vincent. "After all, Godo has been a problem lately, and you know she's being pressured into becoming Lady Kisaragi..."

This caught Vincent's attention. Lady of Wutai, at barely seventeen? When Godo was still perfectly capable of leading Wutai. Small wonder Yuffie was staying in Kalm.

"Where'd she disappear to, anyway?" Cloud asked suddenly.


Around a corner came flying, amidst a barrage of black feathers, Yuffie mounted on top of a black chocobo. Vincent's black chocobo. Apparently, Cloud and Tifa were still taking care of it here at Kalm. Apparently and unfortunately.

"Vinnieeeeeeee! Why didn't you tell me thing this was so fast?!" Yuffie wailed as she whizzed by. Tifa sighed and put a hand to her forehead, whistling as the chocobo trotted toward her, panting cheerfully. Yuffie's eyes boggled as she clutched the chocobo's neck for dear life, eyes remaining as wide as saucers.

"That...was...so cool!" she said, grinning at everyone. "This chick here," she continued, patting the chocobo's side who warked in return, "Is faster than Tsuna. And she's a gold!"

"Uh, Yuffie, I thought we told you to keep away from the chocobo stables?"

Yuffie had the decency to look sheepish. "Yeah, well, I thought Vinnie here might want his chocobo back!"

Vincent raised an elegant eyebrow. "Vinnie?"

Yuffie's head bobbed. "Right-o! What's her name, anyway?"


"The chocobo's, bird brain! Eh, heh heh, sorry there," she said, patting the chocobo again.

Vincent sighed. "Hades."

"Hades, huh? Gosh, Vinnie, you're so morbid."

With that, Hades trotted* back to the chocobo stables with Yuffie on her back, obscenities making their presence known as they seemed to follow Yuffie everywhere she and Hades went.

"So, I'm staying at Yuffie's?" Vincent asked Cloud and Tifa.

Tifa nodded chipperly. "I'm sure she won't mind! But do you know why she brought you?"

Vincent shook his head. "No, other than I'm to keep my ass out of my coffin."

Cloud blinked. Vincent rarely swore. He hoped he was just quoting Yuffie and it wasn't wearing off.

"Darn tootin'!" Yuffie said, approaching them again. The group had gradually migrated outside of Cloud and Tifa's house. "But he broke my nose for it!"

Tifa's eyes widened as she flocked around Yuffie like a worried mother hen. "Let me see!" she said. After a few seconds of poking and prodding and Yuffie faking an "Ow!", Tifa declared, "It doesn't look broken!"

"Oh, sure, NOW it doesn't!" Yuffie retorted. "It was shattered into a million pieces before!" she said, throwing her arms wide for emphasis.

"Yeah, Yuffie. Uh-huh," Cloud said, rolling his eyes. He and Tifa were making their way inside.

"So, Vinnie!" Yuffie said, turning to the dark man next to her. "Where are you going to be staying?"

Cloud and Tifa hurried into the house, shut and locked the door as quickly as they could. Tifa was already halfway up the stairs when a scream what heard.



After retrieving her jacket from Vincent, Yuffie started walking aimlessly in circles around Kalm. Vinnie had come with her awfully easy, after all. She expected she'd at least have to knock him out with her Conformer to get him to come. Why was it that he had followed** her so easily? She'd have to find out sometime.

Returning to her house slowly, Yuffie entered through the doors decorated with Leviathan around it's edges. She took the jacket off and threw it on a chair, not wanting to be reprimanded again by Vinnie for throwing it into the bushes.

On the table was a letter from Godo. Another one. Why did he want her to go back to Wutai so badly? He could manage perfectly well on his own, and besides, she was too young for responsibilities like running a place like Wutai!

"Lady Yuffie Kisaragi -

How have you been fairing, daughter? I hope all is well in Kalm and Tifa and Cloud are treating you right.

As you know, the Leviathan Celebration is approaching in three weeks. I wish for you to return to Wutai to complete the ceremony. I realize you don't wish to; but unfortunately, this isn't something you have much choice in. The leading lady of Wutai must participate in the dances. You don't need to assume the leadership of Wutai, but please, Yuffie. Participate.

Love you,


P.S. - Bring a partner for the dances, or I'll set you up with someone you'll REALLY enjoy."

Yuffie sighed and threw the letter back down onto the table. Her father was always so formal, and then tossed in, willy nilly, that last little bit of sarcasm nobody needed. But why did she need to bring a dance partner? She'd never needed one before. Then again, her mother had almost always performed the dances for the Leviathan Celebration.

As much as her father frustrated her, she still loved him. At least, she thought so. It was hard to love a father at times when he was trying to make you the leader of a very large country.

Stretching, Yuffie plopped down a kitchen chair, pondering the letter and something to eat while she pondered. Vincent chose that moment to walk into the kitchen, no doubt in search of food.

"Why the long face?" Yuffie asked him, eyeing his solemn expression.

"I could ask the same for you."

"Pardon me, Mr. Snooty," Yuffie responded sarcastically, hopping up to fix herself some chai tea. It was really the only thing that sounded good at the current moment.

"Tifa has decided that I need to learn Wutainese dances."

Yuffie could have sworn her ears turned into that of a cat. 'Perfect!' she thought gleefully. 'What timing! Once he learns, I'll just...and then...'

Yuffie whirled on Vincent, a dark gleam in her eyes. "Really?" she asked cheerfully and bounded from the room, her tea forgotten.

Vincent winced. "Why do I think I shouldn't have said that?" he asked the cup of tea on the counter.

He could have sworn the tea chuckled.


"It's working!" Tifa cried gleefully, shoving her elbow into Cloud's rib harder than she meant to.

"I see that," Cloud manage to choke out.

"No, it's really, really going to work!"

"I see that," Cloud grumped again. "Now can we go back home?"

The two were perched precariously behind a bush outside Yuffie's kitchen window. Vincent had said exactly what Tifa wanted him to at exactly the right time.

"Scrooge," Tifa said cheerfully as they made their way back to their own house. Tifa could barely contain her glee, chanting "It's working!" the entire way back.

Cloud decided he needed some aspirin.


Kalm's stores were never the same once Yuffie the Whirlwind had raided them. The materia store was miraculously left alone, yet all the others stores (knowing Yuffie's history) knew this to be an insult.

Yuffie bought a new outfit for herself, one suitable for practicing Wutainese dances in. She just hoped that Vincent didn't catch her dancing in her room, or he'd know what she was up to for sure. That just wouldn't do.

Laughing (somewhat maniacally) on her way home, Yuffie spied Tifa grinning like a nut at her from her garden as she walked by. Yuffie raised her eyebrows; she didn't like that look in the bartender's eye. It unsettled her, because somehow it said "I've gotcha where I wantcha." Oh no, Yuffie did NOT like that look.

Racing home, she stored the memory of Tifa looking evil into her "Ponder When Vincent Gets Blue Eyes" file at the back of her mind. She was simply too hyped to worry about Tifa's diabolical schemes.

Racing up the stairs and barging past a very startled Vincent, she slammed the door to her bedroom. Vincent remained in the hallway, asking himself if a typhoon had just gone by in the shape of Yuffie or if he was losing it. Shrugging, he decided to get out of the way of Yuffie's room before it exploded or something.

Violently ripping open the shopping bags, Yuffie donned her outfit. Stretchy black shorts that were a hint longer than normal and a scarlet tank top much like her old green one. She had actually bought a type of ballet slipper. Every type of Wutainese dance required the feet to be able to slide smoothly, so Yuffie had no choice. She put on her fingerless black gloves (the ones she had absolutely no use for; she just thought they looked "nifty!") and slammed her door open, walked out, slammed it shut, and hit the stairs.

It was only when she saw Vincent in the kitchen wearing his usual black and red did she realize that her entire outfit consisted of his colors. How did that happen? Yuffie wondered. Vincent seemed to notice as well and raised an ebony eyebrow. Yuffie blushed (which only added to the color scheme) and ran as fast as she could into the basement.

Vincent's other eyebrow raised as the basement door slammed. This was indeed a strange, strange day. Yuffie was dressing like him, minus the cape. Vincent decided then that this required some thought.


Balanced keenly on her toes, Yuffie slowly made her way around the room, her slippered feet making no noise on the concrete floor. It would hurt if she fell, but that would only lead to her not making the same mistakes as quickly.

Slowly, Yuffie ran over the first eighteen counts of the dance and proceeded with them ten times correctly before she speeded them up. This had to be absolutely perfect!

Her mind not even registering that Vincent didn't know the dance yet and didn't know that he would even be attending the festival, Yuffie continued the elegant and ancient movements. Her knees almost always remained bent, and she counted aloud to herself as she danced.

After she had run through most of the dance, she put the music on softly, it's Spanish styles drifting throughout the room softly. The insulation and thick walls of the basement should muffle she music, or at least Yuffie hoped.

And so she began, feet prettily perched on her toes as she circled and dipped the best she could without a partner. Smiling to herself as the music ended with a chord of a guitar, she bowed to the stereo in thanks and, very proud of herself, made her way back out of the basement.

A scarlet eye peeked out of the corner of the window, clearly saying "It's working!" to the stereo that had been left behind.


Vincent eyed the basement door as it opened, Yuffie coming out of it with a triumphant and winded look on her face. She was proud, and Vincent was a little hesitant to ask why. Any positive emotions from Yuffie other than sheer, mindless happiness always involved property damage or loss of life.

This needed further observation.


"No, no, no! Vincent, you've gotta go like THIS!" Tifa exclaimed.

Ah, how Vincent wished Cloud would dash through those doors and save him gallantly. Chuckling a little at the thought, he gracefully repeated the steps Tifa had just shown him.

A chuckled from the doors took Vincent's attention. Cloud stood there, and he had indeed dashed in, but Vincent didn't think he was going to "save him gallantly". Instead, the traitorous swine stood there laughing at the doorway.

"I'll shoot you in your sleep," Vincent muttered grumpily as he turned back to Tifa. He already knew how to dance, so why did he have to learn Wutainese dances? It wasn't like Yuffie needed a partner or anything.

Tifa grinned and repeated the last eight counts she had just shown him, adding another eight. Vincent duplicated her movements with ease. He was obviously a fast learner, but Tifa had hoped he would be a bit slower. However, she could show him more dances this way, and have more time to plan.

"It's working!" Tifa said happily, looking at Cloud. He rolled his eyes, and Vincent was left in the dark (so to speak) about the matter. He assumed they were talking about the dances he was learning.

After another sixteen counts of the first dance had been added, Tifa paused. "You're good. You should practice with Yuffie sometime!"

Vincent raised his eyebrows. He liked Yuffie, but dancing with her seemed a bit scary. He sincerely hoped she could dance better than she could cook. Her tea was about the only thing that didn't produce radiation and kill all the local crops.

"Oh, c'mon!" Tifa said beseechingly. "I'll teach you a couple more dances she knows first, but then..."

"You're teaching me dances she knows?" Vincent asked.

Tifa gasped. She hoped it wasn't a big one. Damn it, she wasn't supposed to slip like that! Doing the only thing she could, she covered her own stupidity.

"Well, of course! Where else do you think I learned the dances I'm showing you now?" she asked with a slightly nervous laugh. Vincent was too sharp for that to go over with him. She hoped he'd let it pass, though.

He did, but his guard was already up. These people were up to something and it definitely involved him. That meant he had two options: shoot everyone within a three mile radius with his Death Penalty or snoop around. Though the former would be much fun, he didn't want people to call him Sephiroth. The only other thing he'd have to do was burn Kalm to the ground. Sighing, he decided more observations would be best.

"You should teach him to Tango," Cloud said from the doorway, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows at the pair.

"I already know the Tango," Vincent said flatly.

"Who taught you?" Cloud asked, the suggestive tone not leaving his voice whatsoever.

"Yuffie," Vincent said, keeping his voice as monotone as possible.

Tifa made a small coughing sound and shot Cloud a death glare, clearly telling him to shut the hell up. Not wanting his food poisoned, Cloud obeyed.

Many odd looks from Cloud and an hour later, Vincent was finished learning three Wutainese dances, including brushing up on the Tango just to get Cloud to shut up. Tifa almost died laughing when he said he would. Almost. She had to stay alive to dance with Vincent, however.

"One more time?" Tifa asked, pouting at Vincent.

"No," he said flatly, wanting to leave.






Vincent sighed. "No."

"Aw, c'mon!"


A thump came from the right wall and the general direction on the kitchen. Cloud came out, looking surprised to see Vincent still in the house.

"I thought you would have already left," Cloud said to Vincent.

"I'm trying, and before you can ask again," Vincent said, looking at Tifa. "No."

Tifa sighed deeply as Vincent left. "I was hoping I could snag him a little longer so Yuffie could see. No such luck, though. Oh well. It's still working!"

Cloud sighed and returned to the kitchen.


Yuffie had disappeared into the basement everyday an hour and a half before lunch, and a half an hour before she went to sleep. Sometimes Vincent thought he heard music down there, but he didn't know what to make of that so he dismissed it for later consideration. The dancing lessons and Yuffie Disappearances had been lasting for a week now.

Vincent had already learned every dance Tifa had told him she would teach him, and he could swear that the woman had gone somewhere to learn more, just to keep him occupied. He had only been in Kalm one week and already he was missing his coffin, if not the nightmares it brought.

A sharp smack across Vincent's backside startled him enough out of his revere. He turned from gazing out the window to look at Yuffie, a stern look on her face. Odd, for someone who had just smacked Vincent's rear end and then thought nothing of it.

"I know that look!" Yuffie snapped at him. "Don't you dare even think it! You are SO not going back to that Mansion, you get me?!"

Vincent smiled, a rare sight for him. But there was this glint in his eye, it was the same glint Tifa wore in the garden that day. Yuffie looked around a little nervously, not sure what to anticipate from him next.

"I promise I won't go back if you tell me what you do in the basement everyday."

Yuffie's eyes widened. Vincent's smile inwardly increased; he could tell she hadn't thought he'd ask that. But, he had her cornered, and she knew it. She obviously didn't want him to go back.

"Well, y'see, ah, there's this festival coming up in Wutai in a couple of weeks, and my dad is making me go, so, ah..."

"So?" Vincent prompted.

Yuffie lowered her gaze. "I was practicing the dances I'll have to do because I'm the only Lady of Wutai at the moment."

Vincent's surprise showed as everything clicked. The lessons that he didn't need, the music in the basement...

Vincent made his decision then and there to go back to Niblehiem. He wouldn't let himself be manipulated like that.

Wordlessly, he headed for the door.


Two steps. Three.

"Vinnie! Please!"

Six. Seven.

"You promised!"


It was true. He had said he promised, hadn't he? Sighing, he turned back around.

"I won't dance with you at the Leviathan Festival."

Yuffie sighed. The section of her heart that housed friendship won over the part of her mind that held manipulation. "Alright," she said softly. "I won't ask you."

And with that, she headed up to her room.



Cloud looked up from the cleaning of his sword to a very pissed off Tifa.

"It's not working anymore! We have to do something!"


"Vinnie --

I didn't want you to be angry with me. I should have known you wouldn't want to come to the festival. I mean, you're not even Wutainese, so the festival doesn't mean anything to you. I guess what I'm saying is, 'Forgive Me'?

Tifa is having a party for the group in two days. Will you come around one tomorrow to help set up?

-Yuffie K."


"Yuffie --

I apologize. I overreacted, when all you wanted was a friend to help you at a home occasion. Please speak to me next time of such matters.

I assume you already know of the party Tifa is hosting. One would be the best time to arrive, assuming Tifa needs help.



"Perfect!" Tifa cried happily, placing the notes accordingly. Yuffie's she placed under her pillow, so she wouldn't find it until it was too late to speak to Vincent about it. Vincent rose early in the morning so Yuffie wouldn't see him until they arrived at Tifa's. Vincent's she placed under his journal. The note "from" Yuffie was written in Cloud's messy scrawl, and Tifa hoped it was close to how Yuffie really wrote. The letter "from" Vincent was written in Tifa's elegant handwriting because she KNEW that was how Vincent wrote. But neither of the two victims knew that, of course.

"It's working!" Tifa cried happily as she left Yuffie's house.


Tifa flung the doors of her house wide to see both Vincent and Yuffie there, Yuffie with an embarrassed sort of blush faintly painted on her cheeks and Vincent just looking like Vincent.

"Great! You two can help in the kitchen!" Tifa said, knowing full well that Yuffie couldn't cook but Vincent could.

Without giving the two a chance to speak, Tifa had shoved them both in the kitchen and locked the door from the outside. "Let me know when the food's ready! There's a recipe there on the counter!" Tifa called sweetly from outside the kitchen.

Yuffie and Vincent looked away from each other, Yuffie the first to break the silence.

"I'm sorry, Vinnie," she said softly. "I shouldn't have--"

Vincent shook his head. "I overreacted."

With that simple explanation, Vincent walked over to the counter to examine the recipe. Despite the tension that still existed between the two of them, Yuffie gawked at the recipe.

"Oh, gawd! That's, like, so many steps! How are we even going to finish that thing?"

"It shouldn't be difficult."

"That's easy for you to say! I'm the one who can burn Jell-O!"

Vincent smiled a little at Yuffie. "I'll help you, okay?"

"Okay," Yuffie said dubiously.

"You can make the dips; they should be fairly easy. Here's the recipe," Vincent said, handing Yuffie the small card.

Five minutes later, an explosion came from behind Vincent and he was aware of a blob of sour cream in his hair. He turned to see Yuffie covered in the white goo and trying to look innocent.



After the mess of sour cream and chives had been cleaned up (though Vincent still had some in his hair) it was decided that Vincent should personally instruct Yuffie.

"Alright, you can make the fruit salad," he said to Yuffie.

"Yeesh, this isn't a party Tifa's planning, it's a buffet," Yuffie responded grumpily.

"But a tasty buffet. Just mix the whip cream in with the fruit."

"That's it?" Yuffie asked skeptically.

"That's it," Vincent said with a nod.

Three minutes later, when Vincent turned around from finishing the dips Yuffie had messed up, he sighed.

Yuffie had a grape halfway in her mouth and some whip cream on her nose. Otherwise, she was clean. The salad, however, had at least three cups of whip cream in it, and Vincent now had some of his chest. Yuffie had flung it ("But it was an accident, Vinnie!") at Vincent as soon as he turned around.


Tifa opened the door to her kitchen. Without wanting an explanation for the guilty/sheepish looks both Vincent and Yuffie were giving her or the white mess everywhere, or why Vincent and Yuffie were both on the floor and having trouble standing due to slipping too much, she shut the door again. It was time to start praying nothing caught on fire.


Yuffie tried vainly to stand, but all the whip cream on the floor made it very difficult. Why had Vincent given her so much of the stuff anyway? You don't need THAT much whip cream just to make a fruit salad, do you? Not that she actually could have made one, but that isn't the point.

Vincent wasn't having any luck standing up either. Tifa's kitchen had been turned purely white. Whip cream out of containers and cans, it didn't matter. It was everywhere.

With an evil smile, Yuffie scooped up a handful of the sweetened cream and threw it at Vincent, hitting his nose dead on. His shocked expression was worth it even if he shot her with Death Penalty.

"Yuffie! Stop it!"

Yuffie stuck her tongue out at him and threw some more.


Yuffie was attempting to stand once more when a glob of whip cream hit her in the shoulder. She looked at Vincent and flung some more at him.

A solid whip cream fight started.

Yuffie and Vincent had finally managed to stand. Hurling bits of whip cream here and there, Yuffie slid her way across the kitchen, soon followed by Vincent. She nailed his hair right on and he growled at her. Gripping some more whip cream in his hand, he threw it at her, or at least tried to before he slipped.

Yuffie slipped with him.

She wasn't sure exactly what was happening until Vincent was underneath her. Really, really underneath her. The body to body contact made her gasp and inadvertently meet his gaze.

'Wow...his eyes are gorgeous...' Yuffie thought to herself.

'Her eyes are really stormy, now that I get a good look at them...' Vincent thought to himself.

Drifting closer without really meaning to, Yuffie could feel Vincent's breath on her cheek. If you got past all the whip cream, he smelled a little like roses. Mentally, Yuffie snorted. Well, that was typical.

Vincent's eyes widened further as he thought they were going to kiss. They're lips were so close, and she smelled, once you got past the whip cream, like...ginger? Yes, ginger. That was it.

So close, so close. Yuffie only needed to learn forward a little bit more. Her eyes started to close and she let all thought leave her.

"My, my, my. Don't you two work fast? I thought you were supposed to save the whip cream for AFTER you got in bed."

Yuffie shrieked and threw herself off of Vincent, hitting the counter and, because of the whip cream, not being able to keep her footing. She slid to the floor and gazed at the door.

Arms crossed, a very amused Cloud met her gaze.

Yuffie moaned and hid her face in her hands. "Couldn't you have waited a few more minutes to come in here?!" she snapped.

Cloud glanced at Vincent and blinked. Was it just him, or was Vampire Boy blushing a little bit?

Tifa came up behind Cloud, relieved to see that her kitchen was only trashed, not burned down. "So, what did I miss?"

Cloud grinned at her. "It's working better than we thought it would."


"Mommy, Mommy, there are two marshmellows walking down the street!"

"That's nice, dear."

"No, really! Come see!" the little girl said, tugging on her mother's hand.

Her mother sighed. "Alright, dear."

There were, indeed, two "marshmellows" walking down the street. Two marshmellows with names. And they were yelling at each other.

"I can't believe you can't even make a fruit salad, Yuffie!"

"Oh, sure, change the subject, Vincent Valentine! You were the one Cloud kicked out! He thought you were molesting me!"

"You made that up!"

"So?!" Yuffie cried, giving Vincent a "playful" shove into the bushes.

He landed with a grunt in the nearby shrubbery as Yuffie took off cackling toward her house, shedding whip cream as she went. Vincent scrambled out of the bushes and tore off after the ninja, having difficulty gaining up.

Yuffie was a lot faster than Vincent had anticipated. She was inside the house and almost had the door shut before he squeezed inside in front of her, trapping her against the door.

Yuffie realized their predicament sooner than Vincent did, and they ended up staring each other in the eye again. No coherent thoughts passed through their brains, none whatsoever.

Yuffie leaned up, Vincent leaned down. This time, there wasn't a Cloud in sight to interrupt them.


Tifa eagerly peered into the window. Yuffie and Vincent were about to kiss! This was great! She had been sorely tempted to beat Cloud senseless for walking in on them, but that didn't matter. Yuffie and Vincent were slathered in whip cream and were about to kiss...Tifa sighed, wishing her first kiss had been like that. It really would have been so fun.

Trying to lean forward, her knee slipped from the rock it was perched on and whacked against the side of the house with a thump.



Vincent and Yuffie jumped back as a thump and curse was heard outside Yuffie's window. Opening the door and stepping outside, Yuffie saw Tifa rubbing her knee and muttering something like "It was working, too!"

"Tifa?" Vincent asked with a raised eyebrow, coming up behind Yuffie.

"Shut up and kiss each other!" she snapped.

"What?" Yuffie asked, clearly surprised.

"You two are such blockheads! You know you want to, so kiss him, Yuffie!" Tifa exclaimed grumpily, still rubbing her knee.

"Tifa!" Yuffie scolded, desperately fighting to keep the blush down.

"Argh! Do it or I'll beat you two til you don't remember your names!"

Yuffie and Vincent blinked. Neither of them had expected Tifa to threaten them if they didn't kiss. They looked at each other, eyebrows raised, as if to say, "Riiight."

"Fine, but if I do, will you go away?" Yuffie demanded, surprising Vincent.

Tifa beamed. "Yup!"

Yuffie sighed, hoping Tifa hadn't just tricked her. Oh well, two could play at that game! She was Yuffie Kisaragi, and she'd be damned if she couldn't weasel a loophole out of their current situation.

Smiling, she stood on her toes and pressed her lips to Vincent's cheek.

Tifa's eyes widened. "Cheater!"

Yuffie smiled brightly at her. "Uh huh. You should have known better than to threaten a ninja, isn't that right Vinnie?"

Vincent nodded slowly. "Sure," he said.

Yuffie and Vincent both entered the house together, leaving an even more grumpy Tifa on their doorstep.

Yuffie looked at Vincent awkwardly. "Well, I guess I'd, uh...better go take a shower, huh?"

"Yes," Vincent said slowly, unsure of how this was going.

Yuffie nodded and headed upstairs.


Vincent sat in his room which was, unfortunately for him, across from the bathroom. With the water running rhythmically and the knowledge of who was in that shower, Vincent couldn't get his mind to focus on his journal. He was still covered in whip cream since Yuffie only had one shower.

Thinking as hard as he could, Vincent finally got his mind back on track. It was difficult, but he had done it.

Yuffie started singing.

Vincent's eyes widened as he heard the sweet Wutainese song drift through both doors to reach his ears. Damn it, he SO did not need this at the moment.

"Embrasse moi

Combles tous mes sens

Quand la nuit s'approche

Alors, ma vie commence

Embrasse moi

Tout proche dans tes bras

L'amour m'envahi

Comme une vague sauvage..."

Finally, the words changed to the common tongue most people across the world used.

"There's nothing like this

Under the covers

There's nothing like this

You take me over..."

Vincent's eyes widened. 'Shut up, Yuffie!' he mentally screamed. He REALLY didn't need to be hearing that, now did he? But Yuffie wasn't done singing, and that didn't help any.

"You fly me up,

So close to heaven

You fly me up,

You're the only one...

You fly me up,

So close to heaven

You fly me up,

You're the only one..."

Vincent sighed as her voice stopped. It was truly a beautiful song, with a light beat that held seductive undertones to the lyrics, if not the tone. It was the seductive undertones that bothered him. Struggling to get the song out of his head, he didn't realize it when Yuffie started singing again in Wutainese.

"Embrasse moi

Etouffe tous les sons

Avec un murmure

Oui, tu me rends folle

Embrasse moi

Je vois les etoiles


Au paradis

There's nothing like this

Under the covers

There's nothing like this

You take me over...

You fly me up,

So close to heaven

You fly me up,

You're the only one

You fly me up,

So close to heaven

You fly me up,

You're the only one...

You're the only one..."


Vincent sighed as he stepped out of the shower. It was nice to not have whip cream all over him anymore, but he had to admit, it had been fun.

A sharp rapping came on the bathroom door.

"Vinnie, can I come in? I need my toothpaste."

Vincent raised an eyebrow. Why would she need her toothpaste? So far as he knew, she had already brushed her teeth.


Yuffie walked in and closed the door behind her without even looking up. When she did look up, though, she squeaked.

Vincent was only in a towel and was blissfully unaware of that fact.

"What?" he asked innocently, if that was possible for Vincent Valentine.

"N-Nothing," Yuffie stammered as she went to get her toothpaste off the counter.


"Yeah?" she asked, turning.

"Sorry about before, and then, before that, and..."

Yuffie smiled. "Don't worry about it, okay Vinnie?"

He nodded slowly and kissed her cheek, making her blush a lovely little shade of vermilion. Vincent's present state of undress wasn't helping, either. Seeing midnight hair again ivory skin against black towel was NOT improving her state of mind. Her sanity was shaken enough just from him almost kissing her, and then actually kissing her.

It was then that Yuffie Kisaragi made a decision.

She decided that staying in that bathroom one more second with a half naked man that was somewhat of a Greek God was not good for her health.

"Okay, then!" she said brightly and left as fast as she could.

When Yuffie got down to the kitchen, she couldn't remember at all why she had wanted her toothpaste to start with.


Sipping on her chai tea, Yuffie realized that there was only thirteen days before the festival, and she needed three of those days to travel to Wutai, an extra day to get properly dressed in Wutai, and one more day for the party (which was starting in about an hour). That left her eight days to try and convince Vincent, without and trickery whatsoever, to come and dance with her at the Leviathan Celebration.

She prayed he'd agree.


"'Sup, brat?!" Barret cried with a grin, crushing Yuffie in a bear hug and reducing all her organs to the size of a pea.

"B-Barret...n-nice to see you!" she choked out. "A-Air, please, Barret?"

Barret dropped her in an instant and scratched the back of his head with his good arm. "Ah, right, sorry about that Yuffs!"

Yuffie chuckled. Yuffs? She'd never been called that before.

For the third time that day, she caught Vincent looking at her.

Tifa was the next to get the Barret Hug of Death. Yuffie couldn't help but pity the girl; Yuffie herself was still having problems breathing properly. Barret even hugged Cloud, rambling on about "Yo spikey headed ass needs some company over here!" Yuffie wasn't the only one who laughed.

The party went as expected. Everyone spoke of things that hadn't been discuss in a month or so, new updates and such. Barret's new home had finally been completed, and Marlene couldn't stop talking about "this BIG doll house daddy made me!" Cid was nervous and fidgety the entire time. Yuffie kept winking at him and that only made him worse. But she knew why he was so nervous: he wanted to propose to Shera. Yuffie didn't know when, but definitely soon.

Red would soon be old enough to be Guardian of Cosmo Canyon. Well, he had another fifty years to go, but still. Compared to five hundred?

Reeve was working on animating Cait Sith to run on his own, with his own personality. Barret loudly told the group that he hoped it wasn't like either Yuffie or Vincent; Yuffie was too Yuffie and no one needed to find a stuffed mog inside of a coffin. Yuffie laughed the loudest at that last part, knowing how true it was. She was still giggling even late into the night.

The toast at dinner was for Aeris. Surprisingly, it wasn't Cloud who brought it up, but Tifa. Everyone gave a hearty "Here, here!" before downing their wine in one gulp. Needless to say, everyone was a little tipsy that night, save Red and Vincent. Well, Tifa was smart enough to stay fairly sober. Cid, however, was absolutely hammered. Yuffie...was a bit worse than hammered. She was positively plastered flat and upside down up against a wall and drooling.

When the party was coming to a close and Yuffie was taking it upon herself to reveal what kind of underwear Vincent wore, he decided that it was time to go home. Since Yuffie couldn't even walk, he scooped her easily into his arms, apologizing to the rest of the group for leaving early.

Yuffie giggled at Vincent's neck the entire way back to her house. He sighed, thinking how alcohol should be made illegal for ninjas.

When he finally was safely inside the house and upstairs, he gently lowered Yuffie into her bed and turned to leave. A fierce grip on his belt loop and one hard yank later, he was laying on the bed next to Yuffie (or, rather, a little bit under her) with her fists pounding on his chest.

"Don't leave me, Vinnie!" she cried when she had stopped punching him. For once, he was glad she was drunk. If she'd been sober, those punches would have hurt.

"Why not?" he asked gently. Wrong thing to say, he realized too late.

It started with a sniffle and dissolved into hysterics.

"The...the...the clowns will eat me!" Yuffie cried, sobbing into Vincent's shirt.

"Uh, Yuffie..."


Vincent winced. Her voice was rather close to his ear.

"Alright," Vincent said, a bit hesitantly. "I won't leave you."

Yuffie hiccuped and snuggled up, willy nilly, a bit closer than Vincent would have liked. Before he could do anything, she had passed out, her head resting on his shoulder and her breath tickling his neck. He sighed and pulled the blanket across both of them, settling down for a little shut eye himself.

He sent a prayer to Leviathan before he went to sleep that no one walked in and found them like this.


Three days. Only three days until she had to leave for Wutai. And Vincent still hadn't agreed to dance with her yet.

Yuffie Kisaragi had to work fast.

So, Yuffie Kisaragi devised a plan.

As she went down to practice dancing, she "accidentally" left the basement door open and the music on a little louder than usual, and she "just happened" to begin right as Vincent came home.

She pushed the play button the second she heard the door open.

Vincent wandered down to where the basement door was open only to be greeted with the sight of Yuffie gracefully moving in circles on her toes the very same dance Tifa had worked the hardest on with him.

Her fingers snapping in time with the music and certain instruments, Yuffie looked to be the embodiment of grace. Without thinking, Vincent stepped forward and tapped her on the shoulder.

Yuffie turned, actually looking surprised. She hadn't expected him to interrupt.

"May I join you?" Vincent asked smoothly, offering a small smile.

Yuffie's surprise grew before she nodded. Vincent took her hand and place his claw on her hip and they began the teasing dance. The music infiltrated throughout the basement even more so than it had before.

When the dance was finished, neither left the other's embrace.

Yuffie leaned up, and Vincent leaned down.

Neither Cloud nor Tifa were there to stop them this time.

Lips brushed briefly before the kiss became forceful and rough. Each wanted more and was willing to give even more than what they wanted.

Yuffie's eyes slid shut at the feel of his tongue flicking against her lips evanescently. She parted her lips hesitantly, not sure if that was what he was asking for or not. She got her answer when their tongues met tauntingly.

Yuffie moved one arm around his shoulder but kept her other hand twined tightly in his. He fully explored the inside of her mouth, everything about her flooding his senses wildly. She smelled like ginger but tasted like vanilla. Yuffie was having similar effects, Vincent smelling like roses and tasted like the wine she drank at the party the night she got drunk.

Fleetingly, she hoped he wasn't plastered.

When neither Vincent or Yuffie could breathe, they reluctantly pulled apart, having to satisfy themselves with looking into each others eyes. Yuffie sighed and brought herself closer, resting her hair in the crook of his neck.

"Whoa," Yuffie said after a minute, causing a chuckle from Vincent.

"My thoughts exactly."



Yuffie groggily awoke, aware of Vincent beneath her and Cloud yelling for Tifa at the bedroom door. As Cloud's words registered, her eyes widened a little. She had slept with Vincent, sure, but she didn't SLEEP with him. Not that kind of sleep. What was Cloud talking about?

Tifa walked in and gasped.

Vincent was awake by now. Yuffie sat up to protest that they hadn't actually done anything last night, only to feel a draft. And realize that her chest was bare.

Very bare.

Yuffie let out a scream as everyone in the room but Tifa ogled her. Pulling the sheet up defiantly, Yuffie yelled at no one in particular, "Where the hell is my bra?!"

Cloud fell to the floor laughing, and somehow Yuffie suspected he had everything to do with it.

Yuffie stood, proving that they didn't sleep together when she still had her shorts on and Vincent still clothed, minus his shirt. Oh well, the pants were what counted anyway, right?

Cloud knew he would get beaten to death for it later, but he did it anyway. He held up Yuffie's bra in his right hand and defended himself from Tifa with his left. Giving an inhuman howl, Yuffie launched herself at Cloud to retrieve the stolen (and vital) garment.

"OUT!" was all Yuffie could say. However, what she really wanted to say was "All Creation" or "Ultimate End" or something equally as painful, but these were her friends. Besides, Tifa would beat Cloud to death later anyway.

Tifa kicked a laughing Cloud out of the room, down the stairs and out the front door. Yuffie sighed as Vincent came and wrapped his arms around her waist. She sighed longingly.

"Vinnie, you gotta at least turn around."


"Uh, I am kinda bare up front, ya know?"

Vincent blinked and gave what could only be a blush. "Oh, right. Sorry."

Once her front was safe from prying eyes, she turned back around to Vincent.

"Say, how about another kiss?"


Needless to say, Vincent agreed to help with the dance.

However, Yuffie insisted on taking a shower before they left. She said that the showers on boats "Absolutely suck! Like, grossness!"

Vincent took the time while she was showering to pack his things. This, however, put him in the same position he had been many days before. Right across from the bathroom, with Yuffie in the shower.

Only this time, her song had changed. At least it wasn't so suggestive; Vincent's mind would be everywhere but where it should be on the trip to Wutai.

"Ooh, it's so good, it's so good

It's so good, it's so good

"Ooh, heaven knows, heaven knows

Heaven knows, heaven knows

"Ooh, I feel love, I feel love

I feel love, I feel love

"I feel love, I feel love

"Ooh, falling free, falling free

Falling free, falling free

"Ooh, you and me, you and me

You and me, you and me

"Ooh, I feel love, I feel love

I feel love, I feel love

"I feel love, I feel love..."

Vincent felt different, this time, as he listened to her song. It really felt like she was singing about him, and it made him happy. Very happy. For the first time in at least twenty years, he felt truly happy.

When Yuffie came out of the shower wrapped in a towel into the room, she was confused and pleased to be embraced and kissed until her oxygen deprived limbs might drop her towel. Vincent kissed her again, nipping at her lower lip. She sighed contentedly, forgetting about the towel for a moment.

Which was, of course, very stupid.

The towel dropped to the floor, leaving a very naked Yuffie with onto one place Vincent couldn't see her: further into his arms. She further she dove, clutching at his shirt like there was no tomorrow. Desperately trying to bring the towel up with her feet, Vincent's hand on her shoulder stopped her. Yuffie looked up into his scarlet eyes and smiled.

Vincent smiled back, and he kissed her til she was breathless again. The towel was forgotten until Vincent had decided to stop making Yuffie swoon. When she caught her breath, Yuffie quickly wrapped herself in the towel and left to finish packing.


Vincent, as the official partner of the Lady of Wutai, half kneeled while still on his feet in the center of the circle of Wutainese people. There he waited, one hand on the ground in front of him slightly supporting his weight, for his dancing partner to arrive.

Arrive she did. Vincent's breath caught as he saw her; he didn't think even Tifa or Aeris could have looked like Yuffie did. Her hair held red beads that seemed to be everywhere, her robe a short black kimono that stopped an inch or so above the knee, lined in red, to match Vincent. Her feet were bare but her right foot had a strip of red cloth wrapped around it. Symbolic, mainly. Yuffie's mother had worn the same tie around her left foot, but since Yuffie wasn't yet married, she wore it on her right.

As Yuffie met him, he stood, and that in itself was the cue for the dance to begin.

The chords begun, and Yuffie circled Vincent just as Vincent circled her. The dance gradually let everything else meld into nothing; all that was there were the two of them. When the music brought their bodies closer, Vincent brushed his lips against Yuffie's lightly, and she smiled.

The dance ended before it had even begun. All the other dancers bowed to Yuffie and Vincent just as Yuffie and Vincent bowed to each other.

Yuffie walked up to Vincent to give him a hug, and whispered in his ear:

"You know what this means, don't you?"

Vincent didn't like the sound of her voice. It had that old Yuffie tone to it.


Yuffie threw herself from him and made her way over to the tables of food, dragging him with her. Dabbing some whip cream on his nose with a smile, Vincent got his answer.



Yuffie groaned as she woke up, once again at her home in Kalm. Her head screamed at her and her stomach threatened to give greetings to her tonsils.

Yuffie had a hangover.

Vincent came into the bedroom, feet padding silently on the carpeted floors, bringing Yuffie a glass of water that looked a little green.

"Do you have to walk to damned loud, Vinnie?"

Vincent would have chuckled if he didn't think Yuffie would put her Conformer through him at the noise. "Sorry," he said instead and handed her the glass. "Drink this all at once."

She did as she was told and tried not to throw the foul stuff up. Hangover cures were awful and miraculous at the same time.

Sighing in relief as her headache dissipated, she pulled Vincent into bed next to her. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Let's slaughter Cloud and Tifa today, alright?"

Vincent chuckled. "Sounds like a plan to me."


A/N3: I might write more on this, but I really wanted to get this posted.

* = Translation: ran at the speed of light with Yuffie desperately clinging, cursing and repeatedly yelling something that sounded suspiciously like "Vinnie raised a nifty chocobo!"

** = Been dragged by