A/N: Hey, I'm actually adding onto this. Woot! This chapter is based on the fanmade Meet the Pyro Trailer by avemagnadude on YouTube since Valve has yet to make a real Pyro trailer themselves.
Canada as The Pyro
America as The Soldier
England as The Engineer
Ukraine as The Announcer
Russia as The Heavy
Australia as The Sniper
France as The Spy
S. Italy (Romano) as The Scout.
"Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!" The voice of a Ukrainian woman announced, sirens and alarm-lights going off like crazy. "There is a Red Infiltrator in the base!" Standing in front of a large computer display, a young man dressed in blue-toned camouflage with short blonde hair adjusted his glasses as he read the words on the main screen,
"A Red Infiltrator?" The American Soldier choked before growling, "Oh, not in my base!" He quickly grabbed the weapon closest to him, a missile-launcher, and made sure that he had a back-up pistol in his pocket before rushing through the fortress, calling out, "Hut-two, hut-two! Move people, MOVE!"
Across the base, in another surveillance room, a figure dressed in a blue body-suit and a black gas-mask saw the intruder alert pop up on his computer display. "Mrm Mmrmrm? (Red Infiltrator?)" He asked, his voice muffled by the gas-mask, before grabbing the flame-thrower on the counter and rushing off.
The Ukrainian woman's voice spoke from the speakers again,
"Protect the briefcase!"
"Mm mu mmmm, mm!) (Just a minute Katyusha, geez)…" He shook his head, hefting up a flamethrower and latching it onto his back before he picked up an axe and a shotgun.
He looked to the screen once more: seeing surveillance footage of the Red Team's Heavy, Sniper, and Engineer playing on before he nodded to himself and rushed out the door.
Both the Soldier and Scout gulped and turned around to see a cream-haired, tall, broadly built man dressed in a blue over-coat holding a large Gatling gun as he charged towards them. The two younger men screamed as the Russian Heavy Weapons specialist crashed into them, all three crashed through the door before quickly standing up and giving a battle-cry of,
"RAH!", before they quickly realized that the room was empty aside from the blue suitcase sitting on the center table. The Scout quickly walked over to the case and announced,
"Hey, it's still here!"
"Alright then." The Russian smiled, playing with the blonde soldier's hair. "You were worrying for nothing, dorogoy." The Soldier growled, he always hated the older man's over-affectionate ways,
"Get offa me, you Commie bastard…" The sound of someone clearing their throat caused them all to turn towards the door and see a man with wavy blonde hair that seemed to dance in the nonexistent breeze despite it being covered in a blue beret. His chin was covered in slight stubble and his clothing, a well-pressed suit, was the same shade as his beret. He was currently carrying a body over his shoulder, stating,
"I see that ze briefcase is safe." The Soldier puffed up his chest like a proud rooster,
"Safe and sound!"
"See with your own eyes." The Scout added.
"Hm…" The Frenchman regarded the suitcase with a brief glance before he asked, "Ah, tell me, did anyone happen to kill a Red Spy or Red Infiltrator on ze way here?"
"Mm mm mmt (I got it!)!" Everyone in the room turned to see the blue body-suit clad youth from before carrying the charred remains of the Red Infiltrator.
Meet the Canadian Pyro!
"Mm…" The Pyro groaned, "Mm mmn, mmm mm mmm mmttmm, M mmm mmm mm mm mmm! (Oh man, with all this attacks, I haven't gotten any sleep in days!)" He was about to fill out his quota sheet but as soon as he let the pen touch the paper, he collapsed into an exhausted heap.
The sleep didn't last long, however, when a voice with an Australian accent drifted into the monitor room via the screen. The young Pyro drowsily looked up to see that the Red Sniper was moving into position. "MM MMM (DAMN IT!)! Mmm mm mmm mmmm (Couldn't he have waited)?"
Never the less, the Pyro was soon dragging the Infiltrator's corpse through the base, hoping to dump the body at the Red Fortress since he had to go there to kill the Sniper anyway.
"Oh look bloke," The Red Sniper smirked to himself as he followed the Blue Pyro through his crosshairs, "You know who has a lot of feelings? The guy who bludgeons his wife to death with a golf trophy. See, professionals have standards…"
"Mm m mmm mm mmmm (Does he ever stop talking)?" The Pyro sighed as his earpiece, which the French Spy let him borrow, let him hear everything that the Sniper was saying.
"Be polite…" The Sniper began listing, taking a shot. But the Pyro quickly deflected it with his axe, "Be efficient…" Another bullet was blocked. "Have a plan to kill everyone you meet." The Sniper shot off two more bullets, which were quickly deflected. "Bugger!" The Red Sniper gritted his teeth, rubbing the bandage on his nose.
"Oh, ma coeur." The Pyro flinched as he heard the familiar voice. He was about to reach for his flamethrower when the Blue Spy removed his cloaking device, fading into view. "Does that mean announcer have you working through your down-time again?"
"Mm, mmm, mm mm mmm mmm mm, mh (Yeah, well, what are you going to do, eh?"
"C'est vrai (That's true)." The Blue Spy adjusted his beret before stating, "Well, I must be off. The Red Engineer is trying to set up a Sentry base in front of our fortress. Au revoir!" And with that, the blonde faded into invisibility once more.
"Where'd he go?" The Red Sniper asked as he tried to track his target down, "Where the bloody hell did he go?" There was a sudden crack in his shed and when he looked towards the sound, he saw the Blue Pyro chopping his way in via his axe. "Crikey." The Sniper commented, his eyebrows up in astonish.
Before any other words could be exchanged, the Pyro surged forward: embedding the axe into the Sniper's chest before kicking him down and chopping into his flesh: crimson splashing onto the floor and the walls.
Heavy footfalls echoed through the storage room of the Red Fortress as a Russian clad in red carried a massive Gatling-gun to a table where two large boxes of ammo sat. He sat down before looking at the camera in the room and stating, "I am the Heavy Weapons Specialist." He smiled, a strange sort of glee appearing in his lavender eyes, as he looked down at the gun. "And this is my weapon."
He suddenly flinched as he heard soft footfalls from behind the giant crates of supplies and ammo around him. "Some people think that they can outsmart me…" The Russian Heavy stated out loud, reaching for a smaller shotgun underneath the table, "Maybe."
"MMMM (DEFINITELY)!" The Blue Pyro shouted, jumping down from the tallest crates: activating his flamethrower and engulfing the large man in flames: screams for help being drowned out by the weapon's noise and the Pyro's laughter.
Later on that evening, a Ukrainian woman with her light hair cut into a short bob and kind blue eyes sat in her office. Her suit was actually split, vertically, into red and blue: representing her job as The Announcer. She was about to give both Fortresses a status report when her office door opened. "Yes, may I – Oh!" She saw the Blue Pyro covered in ashes and leaning against the door, exhausted. "Matvey, you poor dear! You have been working so hard today!" The Pyro slowly peeled off his gas-mask, revealing a face that looked a lot like the American soldier only with medium-length wavy hair.
"Hey Katyusha…" The blonde Pyro muttered as he slowly walked over to the couch in the office.
"Can you wake me up in thirty minutes? I still have to take out the Engineer…" And then, finally, the exhausted blonde was able to go to sleep. Katyusha shook her head, still smiling as she readjusted her blouse: her more than generous endowment came with troubles sometimes.
She then moved her chair closer to the monitoring screens in the room and pulled up the mic that was on the table before she announced to one and all, "Red Team, you have FAILED me. Blue Team… Victory."
Birthplace: Montreal, Canada
Birthdate: July 1st
"Mattie…" The American Soldier called as he poked his brother's cheek.
"Birdie…" The Prussian Medic smiled as he poked his boyfriend's other cheek.
"Birdie…" Finally, the Pyro shot up from the couch, screaming,
"Oh my fucking God, can't a guy get any sleep around here?" But as soon as he had said his piece, he blinked, "Wait, wait time is it?" He looked at the clock in the room and screamed when he saw what time it was, "Oh Maple, I have to go kill the Red Engineer!"
In the middle of the night, in that same barren desert, a young man dressed in red working clothes was sitting against the side of a truck; idly playing a song on an electric-guitar that was glazed over with the image of the British flag. His short-cut blonde hair was gently caressed by the night breeze as he played before he looked in front of him, grassy green eyes shining.
"'Ello there love," The blonde smiled as his fingers kept strumming along his baby, "I'm an Engineer. That means I solve problems."
"MM MMM MM MMM (SHUT THE FUCK UP)!" The Blue Pyro shouted as he flung his axe, the weapon spinning through the air before it embedded into the Engineer's skull with a wet crack: sticky red spraying forth.